The following list is based on the information from the following websites.
English/Cockney Rhyming Slang Dictionary
English | Slang | Usage |
£1 | NICKER OR QUID | |
£1 | NUGGET | |
£10 | MOTHER HEN | |
£10 | TENNER | |
£10 (TENNER) | ARYTON SENNA | ‘ere, lend us an aryton me old china |
£10 (TENNER) | LOUISE WENER. | |
£100 | CENTURY | |
£100 | TON | |
£100 | ONE-ER | PRONOUNCED "WUNNER" |
£1000 | GRAND | |
£15. | WICKER BASKET | |
£20 | SCORE | |
£20 | PLENTY | REPORTED TO BE NOT WIDELY USED. |
£2000 | ARCHER | BASED ON THE (ALLEGED) AMOUNT LORD ARCHER HANDED A PROSTITUTE |
£25 | PONY | |
£5 (FIVER) | LADY GODIVA | ERE, CAN YOU SPARE A LADY? |
£50 | BULLSEYE | |
£50 | THRIFTY | |
£500 | MONKEY | |
1 SHILLING (5 PENCE) | BOB | |
10 | COCKEL (COCK & HEN) | |
100 | DAY'S WORK | |
100 | LONG UN | |
1000 | BAG (OF SAND) | |
11 | LEGS | |
2 | BOTTLE OF GLUE | |
2 SHILLINGS & 6 PENCE OR HALF A CROWN | 'ALF AN OXFORD | |
22 | TWO LITTLE DUCKS | |
26 | BED & BREAKFAST | |
3 | CARPET | |
33 | FEATHERS | |
4 | ROATH | |
45 | ROUF CINQUE | |
5 | CHING | |
5 | JACK'S (ALIVE) | |
5 SHILLINGS OR A CROWN | OXFORD | |
50 | NIFFTY | |
6 | TOM MIX | |
7 | NEVES | |
8 | T & H | |
88 | TWO FAT LADIES | |
9 | NERVO |
ALL DAYER | LEO SAYER | Let’s make it a Leo Sayer. (ALL DAY DRINKING SESSION) |
ALONE, ON ONE'S OWN | JACK JONES | He went to the pub all Jack. |
ALONE, ON ONE'S OWN | PAT MALONE | I'm all pat tonight. |
ALONE, ON ONE'S OWN | TODD SLOAN | Looks like I'm on my Todd tonight. |
ALSATIAN (DOG) | ALL STATIONS | |
ARM | CHALK FARM | He broke his chalk. |
ARM, ARMS | WARWICK FARM, WARWICKS | WHIFFY UNDER WARWICKS="SMELLY UNDER ARMS" |
ARMY | DAFT AND BARMY | He was promoted in the daft. |
ARMY | KATE KARNEY | He's off and joined the Kate. |
ARSE | ARIS | |
ARSE | BOTTLE AND GLASS | I gave him a good kick up the bottle. |
ARSE | KHYBER PASS, KHYBER | Stick it up your khyber. |
ARSE | ARISTOTLE | I gave him a good kick up the Aris. See also bottle. (ARISTOTLE=BOTTLE=BOTTLE AND GLASS=ARSE; THEREFORE, ARIS=ARSE) |
ARSE-HOLE | ELEPHANT & CASTLE | |
AUNT | MRS. CHANT | He didn’t know what to get his Mrs. Chant for Christmas |
AURORA AUSTRALIS | ROARING HORSETAILS |
BABY | BASIN OF GRAVY | |
BACK | CILLA (BLACK) | |
BACK | HAMMER AND TACK | |
BACK | HAY (STACK) | |
BACK | JUMPING JACK | |
BACK | ROOF RACK | |
BAD | SHEPHERD'S PLAID | |
BAD | SORRY AND SAD | That dinner was a bit sorry. |
BALLS, TESTICLES, OR BALLS!, RUBBISH!, NONSENCE! | COBBLER'S (AWLS) | Go on! Kick him in the cobblers! |
BALLS, TESTICLES, OR BALLS!, RUBBISH!, NONSENCE! | NIAGARA FALLS | I got him in his niagara |
BALLS, TESTICLES, OR BALLS!, RUBBISH!, NONSENCE! | ORCHESTRA STALLS | He nearly got hit in the orchestra |
BALLS, TESTICLES, OR BALLS!, RUBBISH!, NONSENCE! | TOWN HALLS | |
BANANA | GERTIE GITANA | I like a gertie on my cereal |
BANK | CAB RANK | I won't be long - just going to the cab rank |
BANK | IRON TANK | He lost his house to the iron. |
BANK | TIN TANK | |
BANK | TOMMY TANK | I’m going ‘round the tommy to pay in a gooses. |
BAR | BAZAAR | |
BAR (PUB) | JACK (TAR) | I'm off to the Jack. |
BAR (PUB) | NEAR AND FAR | I saw him at the near. |
BARBER | COFFS HARBOUR | |
BARBER | SYDNEY HARBOUR | |
BARROW | BOW AND ARROW | |
BARROW | COCK SPARROW | He's wheeling his cock 'round the market. |
BASS | BEGGAR BOY'S ASS | |
BAT, FOR CRICKET | THIS AND THAT | |
BATH (" LARF" RHYMES WIV "BARF") | LAUGH | |
BATTERY | TONY SLATTERY | |
BEARD | STRANGE'N'WEIRD | |
BED | ROSES RED | |
BED | SKEIN OF THREAD | |
BED | UNCLE NED | |
BED | UNCLE TED | I'm off to Uncle Ted. |
BEEF | ITCHY TEETH | |
BEEF | STOP THIEF | |
BEER | GERMAINE GREER | |
BEER | OH MY DEAR | |
BEER | PIG'S EAR | Can I buy you a pig? |
BEERS | BRITTNEY SPEARS | ‘ow about a Brittney?" |
BEERS (STELLAS) | NELSON (MANDELAS) | A couple of nelsons please |
BELIEVE | ADAM AND EVE | I don't Adam and Eve it! |
BELIEVE | CHRISTMAS EVE | |
BELL | HAIR GEL | |
BELLY | AUNTIE NELLIE | I punched him in the Auntie but he didn't even notice. |
BELLY | DERBY KELLY | That’s the stuff for you Derby Kell; makes you fit and it makes you well |
BELLY | NED KELLY | |
BELLY | NELLY KELLY | |
BELT | DARK FELT | |
BENDER (HOMOSEXUAL) | LEO FENDER | That blokes a bit leo after all. |
BENT (CRIMINAL) | STOKE ON TRENT | ‘e’s stoke he is. |
BEST | MAE WEST | |
BET | HOUSE TO LET | |
BIGOT | LESTER PIGGOT | |
BIKE | CLEVER MIKE | |
BILL (STATEMENT) | BEECHAM PILL | |
BILL (STATEMENT) | BEECHAM'S PILL | I got my Beecham's from the tax people. |
BILL (STATEMENT) | JACK AND JILL | I'm going home - can I have my Jack? |
BILLY (USED TO BOIL WATER) | KNOCK ME SILLY, KNOCK-ME | |
BIRD | RICHARD THE THIRD | Look what that bloody Richard's done to my car! |
BIRD (LIME) | PRISON TIME | |
BIT OF A STATE | HARRY TATE (IN A ~) | |
BITTER | GIGGLE AND TITTER | ‘ere. I could use a giggle. |
BITTER | LAUGH AND TITTER | |
BITTER (BEER) | APPLE FRITTER | I've tried that new apple but I prefer my salmon |
BLAZER | RAZOR | |
BLOKE | HEAP OF COKE | |
BLOOD | CLARET (RED WINE) | |
BLOTTO (DRUNK) | SANTA'S GROTTO | |
BOAT | NANNY GOAT | I took my nanny out on the river. |
BOB (SHILLING) | TOUCH ME ON THE KNOB | |
BOIL | CAN OF OIL | ‘e’d be nice looking once his canov’s clear up. |
BOIL | CONAN DOYLE | ‘e’s got a conan on his bottle the size of me fist! |
BOLLOCKS | JACKSON POLLOCKS | This modern art’s a load of old Jacksons |
BOLT | HAROLD HOLT | HE DONE HAROLD HOLT |
BOMB | DERRY AND TOM | |
BOOB LAIR, JAIL DANDY | YOGI BEAR | |
BOOK | CAPTAIN HOOK | I've read this captain. |
BOOK | FISH HOOK | I've read the new fish by Deighton. |
BOOK | JOE HOOK | |
BOOK | DOCKER'S HOOK | MAKE DOCKER'S HOOK; TO LAY THE ODDS OR MAKE BOOK. |
BOOKIES | CREAM COOKIES | |
BOOTS | DAISY ROOTS | You can't go out in the rain without your daisies. |
BOOTS | FIDDLES AND FLUTES | |
BOOZE | MUD AND OOZE | |
BOOZE | RIVER OUSE | |
BOOZER | ALL TIME LOSER | |
BOOZER (BAR)(LIQUOR STORE) | BATTLE CRUISER | I've got to get to the battle before I go to the party |
BOSS | PITCH AND TOSS | My bloody pitch kept me late again. |
BOTTLE | ARISTOTLE, ARIS | If you want milk, put the Ari on the doorstep. |
BOTTLE | JERRY (COTTLE) | |
BOWLER | BOTTLE OF KOLA | |
BOWLER, IN CRICKET | COCA COLA | |
BOX | DARKY COX | |
BOY | MARK FOY | |
BOY | MOTHER'S JOY | |
BOY | ROB ROY | |
BOY | SAN TOY | |
BOY SCOUT | GIDDY GOUT | |
BRA | MASTER MCGRATH | |
BRACES | AIRS AND GRACES | He's got his new airs on. |
BRACES | FLEMINGTON RACES | |
BRAINS | DOWN THE DRAINS | |
BRANDY | AMOS AND ANDY | |
BRANDY | FINE AND DANDY | A small drop of fine would suit me. |
BRANDY | JACK THE DANDY | |
BREAD | LUMP OF LEAD | |
BREAD | UNCLE FRED | Hey, mum. Can I have some Uncle Fred with this? |
BREAD | UNCLE NED | |
BREATH | KING DEATH | |
BROKE | COALS AND COKE | |
BROKE (FINANCIAL) | HEARTS OF OAK | I'm skint mate. Bleedin' hearts. |
BROKERS | ENGINEERS AND STOKERS | |
BROTHER | MANHOLE COVER | My manhole cover is coming for a visit. |
BROTHER | ONE AND T’OTHER | ‘ere’s me one and t’other now. |
BROTHER | ONE ANOTHER | |
BUCKET | DIP AND CHUCK IT | |
BUCKET | DIP AND DUCK IT | |
BUCKET | MRS DUCKETT | |
BUG(S) | STEAM TUG(S) | |
BUM | DEAF AND DUMB | |
BUM | KINGDOM COME | He just sat on his kingdom all day |
BUM | QUEEN MUM | |
BUNK | PINEAPPLE CHUNK | |
BURST (URINATE) | GEOFF HURST | I’m dying for a Geoff. |
BUTTER | CHUCK ME IN THE GUTTER | |
BUTTER | JOHNNIE RUTTER | |
BUTTER | KERB AND GUTTER | |
BUTTER | LISP AND STUTTER | |
BUTTER | MUTTER AND STUTTER | |
BUTTER | PULL DOWN THE SHUTTER | |
BUTTER | ROLL ME IN THE GUTTER | |
BUTTER | STAMMER AND STUTTER | Extra stammer for me. |
CAB | SMASH AND GRAB | |
CAB (TAXI) | SHERBERT (DAB) | ‘e’s been on the sherbert for five years (driving a cab). |
CADGE | COAT AND BADGE | |
CAKE | SEXTON BLAKE | ‘ow about a nice slice of sexton? |
CANCER | JACK THE DANCER | |
CANCER | JIMMY DANCER | |
CANDLE | HARRY RANDALL | Look at all the Harry's on his cake. |
CANDLE | SAUCEPAN HANDLE | |
CAR | JAM JAR | Bloody jam is down again. |
CAR | KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR | Bloody kareem is down again. |
CAR (FLASH ONE) | DANNY MARR | |
CARTON | BOBBY MARTIN | |
CASH | BANGERS AND MASH | |
CASH | DOT & DASH | |
CASH | OSCAR ASH | |
CASH | OSCAR ASCHE | |
CASH | OSCAR NASH | |
CASH | OSCAR | |
CASH | OKKER | |
CASH | SAUSAGE AND MASH | AIN'T GOT A SAUSAGE |
CAT | THIS & THAT | |
CATALOGUE | CATTLE DOG | |
CATHOLICS | CATTLE TICKS | |
CELL (PRISON) | FLOWERY DELL | I've got three more years in this flower. |
CHAIR | FRED ASTAIRE | |
CHAIR | LION'S LAIR | Have a lion's while you wait. |
CHALK | DUKE OF YORK | All I got for my birthday is a bit of duke. |
CHANCER (SOMEONE NOT QUALIFIED) | BENGAL LANCER | News paper adds would state no bengal lancers when advertising for tradesmen. |
CHANGE | RIFLE RANGE | |
CHANGE (MONEY) | HOME ON THE RANGE | |
CHAPEL | PINEAPPLE | |
CHARLIE (COCAINE) | BOUTROUS (BOUTROUS GALI) | |
CHAT | NATTER | |
CHAT | TOP HAT | |
CHEEK | MILD AND MEEK | |
CHEEK | ONCE A WEEK | |
CHEESE | ANNIE LOUISE | |
CHEESE | BENDED (KNEES) | |
CHEESE | COUGH AND SNEEZE | |
CHEESE | JOHN CLEESE | |
CHEESE | STAND AT EASE | Wouldn't mind a bit of ease. . |
CHEQUE | DUCK'S NECK | |
CHEQUE | GOOSE'S (NECK) | He stuck me with a bouncing goose. |
CHEQUE | GREGORY (PECK) | I 'ad to pay by Gregory |
CHEQUE | NERVOUS WRECK | |
CHEST | BIRD’S NEST | I had to punch him in the bird’s nest. |
CHIEF, BOSS | CHUNK OF BEEF, CHUNKA | |
CHILLY | UNCLE BILLY | |
CHIN | HARRY LIN | |
CHIN | VERA LYNN | |
CHINK (CHINESE) | RINK-A-DINK | We're going to get rinky take-away. |
CHIPS | JOCKEYS (WHIPS) | I’ll have a large plate of jockey’s |
CHORUS (OF A SONG) | COALBOX | |
CHUNDER, TO VOMIT | UP AND UNDER | |
CHURCH | LEFT IN THE LURCH | |
CHURCH | ROCK AND LURCH | |
CIDER | DEEP SEA GLIDER | |
CIGAR | LA-DI-DA | I enjoy a good la-di-da after me meal |
CIGAR | LAR-DEE-DAR | |
CIGARETTE | FORGIVE AND FORGET | |
CIGARETTE | SNOUT | |
CIGARETTE (FAG) | OILY RAG | Give us an oily. |
CLASS | BOTTLE AND GLASS | |
CLINER, A GIRL | OCEAN LINER | |
CLINK (JAIL) | KITCHEN SINK | After that last episode he’ll be in the kitchen for a while |
CLOCK | DICKORY DOCK | What's the time on the dickory? |
CLOCK | TICK-TOCK | |
CLUE | DANNY LARUE | He ain’t got a danny. |
CLUE | POT (OF GLUE) | |
CLUE | SCOOBY (DO) | |
COAT | NANNY GOAT | Put your nannies on – it’s taters out. |
COAT | QUAKER OAT | |
COAT | WEASEL & STOAT | |
COAT | WEASEL AND STOAT | I left my weasel in the pub. |
COBBER (FRIEND) | THIEF AND ROBBER | |
COFFEE | STICKY TOFFEE | |
COLD | BORIS (THE BOLD) | |
COLD | BRAVE AND BOLD | |
COLD | CHELTENHAM BOLD | |
COLD | POTATOES/TATERS (IN THE MOULD) | Cor, taters out there init? |
COLD SHIVERS | HAWKESBURY RIVERS | |
COLLAR | HOLLOA BOYS HOLLOA | |
CONCERTINA | CONSTANT SCREAMER | |
COOK | BABBLING BROOK, BABBLER | My missus couldn't babble to save her life. |
COP, COPS, POLICE | JOHN HOP, A JOHN, THE JOHNS | |
COP, POLICEMAN | GREASY (MOP) | |
COPPER (POLICE) | BOTTLE AND STOPPER | |
COPPER (POLICE) | GRASSHOPPER | He got nabbed by the grasshoppers. |
COPPERS (POLICE) | BOTTLES AND STOPPERS | Blimey - I think the bottles are on to me! |
COPS | COZZER'S | |
COPS | GATHERS | |
CORNER | JOHNNIE HORNER | I'll meet you 'round the Johnnie. |
CRABS (BODY LICE) | DIBS AND DABS | |
CRABS, BODY LICE | DRIBS AND DRABS | |
CRABS, BODY LICE | SANDY MACNABS | |
CRANKY, SILLY | HANKY PANKY | |
CRAP | HORSE AND TRAP | |
CRAP | PONY AND TRAP | Ang on, mate. Just gotta 'ave a pony. That’s a bit pony mate! |
CRAP | VON TRAPPE | |
CRAP, TO DEFECATE | ANDY CAPP | |
CRASH | SAUSAGE AND MASH | He was in a fearsome sausage. |
CRIME | LEMON AND LIME | |
CRIME | LEMON LIME | Not one lemon reported all night |
CRIPPLE | RASPBERRY RIPPLE | The old boy’s a raspberry |
CROOK | BABBLING BROOK | He's always on the babble. |
CROOK | JOE ROOK | |
CRUST | YOU MUST | |
CRUST (ON A PIE) | DIRT GRIME AND DUST | |
CRUTCH (GROIN) | MISTER MUTCH | |
CRY | PIPE YOUR EYE | |
CRYSTAL PALACE | SCREAMING ALICE | |
CUB, BOY SCOUT | WITCHETTY GRUB | |
CUP | DOWN AND UP | |
CUPBOARD | MOTHER HUBBARD | There's nothing in the mother. |
CURRY | RUBY MURRAY | I'm going for a ruby. |
DAFT | FORE & AFT | |
DAME JUDY (DENCH) | STENCH | |
DARLIN' | BRINEY MARLIN | You look lovely tonight, me old briney. |
DARLINGHURST | DARLING IT HURTS | |
DAUGHTER | BOTTLE OF PORTER | |
DAUGHTER | BRICKS AND MORTAR | I’m taking me bricks and mortar shopping. |
DAUGHTER | SOAP AND WATER | |
DAUGHTER (A MILE AND A QUARTER) | TEN FURLONGS | |
DEAD | BROWN BREAD | I'm telling you, mate. He's brown bread |
DEAD, HORS DE COMBAT | WOMBAT | |
DEAF | A.I.F. | |
DEAF | MUTT AND JEFF | Poor buggers mutt and jeff. |
DICE | CATS AND MICE | |
DICE | RATS AND MICE | |
DIET | BRIXTON RIOT | |
DILL, FOOL | BEECHAM'S PILL | |
DILL, FOOL | JACK AND JILL | |
DINNER | DERBY WINNER | |
DINNER | JIM SKINNER | Is my Jim ready yet? |
DINNER | JOHN SKINNER | |
DIP = PICKPOCKET, OR SWIM | COCKIES' CLIP | |
DIRTY | TWO-THIRTY | |
DISH | LILLIAN GISH | |
DO SO | ROBINSON CRUSOE | |
DODDLE (EASY OR STRAIGHT FORWARD) | GLENN HODDLE | That jobs a Glen Hoddle. |
DOG | CHERRY HOGG | My bloody cherry is off again. |
DOG | CHOCK AND LOG | |
DOLE | HORSE AND FOAL | |
DOLE | NAT KING COLE | |
DOLE | ROCK'N'ROLL | |
DOLE | STRUM AND STROLL | |
DOLE (WELFARE) | ROCK AND ROLL | ‘e hasn’t worked a day in ‘is life... ‘e’s always been on the rock and roll. |
DOLE (WELFARE) | SAUSAGE ROLL | He ain’t worked in years – he’s on the sausage. |
DOLLAR | OXFORD SCHOLAR | Stupid horse cost me an Oxford. |
DOOR | HENRY MOORE | They broke the ‘enry down at number thirty two |
DOOR | ROGER MOORE | |
DOOR | RORY O'MORE | |
DRAUGHT (DRAFT) | GEORGE RAFT | |
DRAWERS (PAIR OF) | EARLY DOORS | |
DRINK | CUFF LINK | |
DRINK | KITCHEN SINK | |
DRINK | SALVADOR DALI | |
DRINK | TIDDLEY WINK | Just one more tiddley and I'm off; or, He's popped down to the pub for a tiddle. |
DRINK | TUMBLE DOWN THE SINK | |
DRUM, INSIDE INFORMATION | DEAF AND DUMB | I'll give you deaf and dumb |
DRUM, INSIDE INFORMATION | TOM THUMB | |
DRUNK | ELEPHANT'S (TRUNK) | He shouldn't be driving! He's bloody elephant's. |
DUMP | FOREST (GUMP) | "Off out in 10 minutes?" "Yeah, just got to have a Forrest first". |
DUMP (SHIT) | DONALD TRUMP | I’ve got to go for a donald |
DUMPER, CIGARETTE BUTT | VICTOR TRUMPER | |
DUMPS | GRAVY LUMPS | |
DUNNY, LAVATORY | DON'T BE FUNNY |
EAR | KING LEAR | |
EARS | GINGER BEERS | |
EARS | LORDS AND PEERS | |
EASY | BRIGHT AND BREEZY | |
EASY | HAM AND CHEESY | |
EASY | LEMON SQUEESY | |
EGG | CLOTHES PEG | |
EGG | SCOTCH PEG | |
ELBOW | SPANISH ARCHER | |
ENGINEER | GINGER BEER | He knows his stuff. He is a ginger, after all. |
EVENS (BETTING) | MAJOR STEVENS | |
EYE(S) | LAMB'S FRY (FRIES) (2) | |
EYE(S) | MINCES, MINCE PIE(S) | She got beatiful minces. |
EYE(S) | NELLY BLIGH(S) (2) | |
EYES | MUD PIES |
FACE | BOAT (RACE) | Nice legs, shame about the boat. |
FACE | CHEVY CHASE | You can wipe that smile off your Chevy Chase |
FACE | DRUM AND BASS | |
FACE | MARTIN PLACE | |
FACES | AIRS AND GRACES | |
FACTS | BRASS TACKS | ‘Ere, you’ve got your brass wrong! |
FAG (CIGARETTE) | HARRY WRAGG | Have you got a harry? |
FAG (CIGARETTE) | TOE-RAG | Lend us a sprarsy |
FAIRY TALE, LIE | POST AND RAIL | |
FAKE | SEXTON BLAKE | |
FANNY | JACK 'N' DANNY | |
FARE | GREY MARE | |
FART | HORSE AND CART | Have you just horse & carted? |
FART | RASPBERRY TART | He blew a raspberry. |
FART (HE APPLE TARTED) | APPLE TART | |
FAVOUR | CHEESY QUAVER | Do us a cheesy, put it on your web site. |
FAX | NAILS AND TACKS | |
FEEL | ORANGE PEEL | I fancy an orange of her Bristols! [Thanks to Chris Webb) |
FEELING CROOK | BUTCHER'S HOOK (1) | |
FEET | PLATES (OF MEAT) | Get your plates of the table. |
FENCE POSTS | HOLY GHOSTS | |
FEVER | ROBINSON AND CLEAVER | |
FIDDLE | HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE | |
FIGHT | READ AND WRITE | He'd rather read than walk away. |
FIGHTER | TYPEWRITER | |
FINE | CALVIN KLEIN | I’m calvin today. |
FINGER | ONKAPARINGA, ONKA | |
FINGERS | LONGERS AND LINGERS | |
FIRE | ANDY MAGUIRE | |
FIRE | AVE MARIA | |
FIRE | BARNEY MAGUIRE | |
FIRE | JEREMIAH | |
FIRE | MOLLY MAGUIRE | |
FIRE | OBEDIAH | |
FIREWOOD | DO ME GOOD | |
FISH | DIRTY DISH | |
FISH | LILIAN GISH | Good day at the stream. Got a pair of Lilian's. |
FIST | OLIVER TWIST | Next thing I know he's got his Oliver in my face. |
FIT | CHARLIE BRITT | throw Charlie |
FIVE | JACK'S ALIVE | |
FIVER | PAM SHRIVER | |
FIVER | SKIN DIVER (OR DEEP SEA DIVER) | LEND US A DEEP SEA 'TIL PAYDAY |
FLARES (WIDE BOTTOM TROUSERS) | LIONELS (BLAIR) | Got on his best lionels for the evening. |
FLASH (NATTY) | HARRY DASH | ‘e was alway a bit of a flash |
FLEA, OR KEY | JENNY LEE | |
FLEAS | JACK REES | |
FLEAS | TWO UES (2UES) | |
FLOOR | RORY O'MOORE | |
FLOWER | COBAR SHOWER | |
FLOWER | EARLY HOUR | |
FLOWERS | APRIL SHOWERS | I forgot it was my anniversary, so I picked some aprils on the way home. |
FLUSH, AS IN POKER | BARMAID'S BLUSH | |
FLYING SQUAD | SWEENEY TODD | Here comes the Sweeney |
FOOD | IN THE NUDE | |
FORK | ROAST PORK |
GAME | MICKY SPILLANE | |
GARGLE (DRINK) | ARTHUR SCARGILL | |
GATE | RICKETY KATE | |
GAY | TED RAY | He’s a bit Ted. |
GAY (HOMOSEXUAL) | BALE OF HAY | Don’t bother Britany – he’s bale. |
GEEZER | FRIDGE FREEZER | |
GEEZER | ICE-CREAM FREEZER | |
GEEZER | LEMON SQUEEZER | |
GIG, FIZZGIG, AN INFORMER | A MORETON BAY | |
GIG, FIZZGIG, AN INFORMER | MORETON BAY FIG | |
GIGGLES | FLIGHT LIEUTENANT BIGGLES | |
GIN | HUCKLEBERRY FINN | |
GIN | MOTHER'S RUIN | Another mothers would sit well. |
GIN | NEEDLE AND PIN | I'll have a small needle and tonic. |
GIN | VERA LYNN | I’ll have one more Vera before I hit the frog and toad. |
GIN (DRINK) | GUNGHA DIN | |
GIN AND TONIC | PHILHARMONIC | |
GIRL | L-RIG | |
GIRL | MOTHER OF PEARL | |
GIRL | OCEAN PEARL | |
GIRL | TWIST AND TWIRL | She looks like a nice twist |
GIRLFRIEND | LEMON (CURD) | |
GIRO | NIGHTBOAT TO CAIRO | |
GLASS | HACKNEY MARSH | |
GLASS | PIG'S ARSE | |
GLOVES | TURTLE DOVES | |
GO | SCAPA FLOW | Scapa! |
GOAL | SAUSAGE ROLL | KICKED SAUSAGE |
GOOD | PLUM PUD | |
GOOD | ROBIN HOOD | That sounds like it’s robin |
GOON, SILLY PERSON | EGG AND SPOON | |
GOUT | IN AND OUT | |
GOUT | SALMON TROUT | |
GRASS | ERNIE MARSH | |
GRAVY | ARMY (AND NAVY) | Can I have some army for my mashed? |
GREEK | BUBBLE (AND SQUEAK) | He's a bubble. |
GREEK | WERRIS (CREEK) | |
GRIEF | OMAR SHARIF | |
GROUND | PENNY A POUND | |
GROUSE, GOOD-OH (GREAT) | MICKEY MOUSE | |
GUTS | COMIC CUTS | |
GUTS (STOMACH) | NEWINGTON BUTTS | My newingtons are giving me some gyp today. |
GUTTER | BREAD AND BUTTER | Found him laying in the bread and butter. |
HADDOCK | FANNY CRADDOCK | |
HAIR | BARNET (FAIR) | She must be going out - she's got her Barnet done. |
HAIR | BONNEY FAIR | She's got beautiful shiny bonney. |
HAIR | DUBLIN FAIR | |
HAIR | FRED ASTAIRE | |
HALF A DOLLAR | HALF AN OXFORD SCHOLAR | |
HALF INCH | PINCH (STEAL) | Someone’s half-inched me pint! |
HAMMER | WINDJAMMER | |
HAND | BRASS BAND | |
HAND | GERMAN BAND | |
HAND | IVORY BAND | |
HAND | ST. MARTINS-LE-GRAND | I had it in my St. Martins a minute ago |
HANDS | GERMAN BANDS | Get your germans off my missus. |
HANDY | SUGAR CANDY | |
HANKY | WIDOW TWANKY | |
HASH (HASHEESH) | JACK FLASH | |
HASH (HASHEESH) | JOHNNY CASH | |
HAT | BARREL OF FAT | |
HAT | TIT FOR TAT (TITFER) | Lovely titfer. |
HAVE A BET | CAST A NET | |
HAVE A SHAVE | DIG A GRAVE | |
HEAD | CRUST OF BREAD | Use your crust mate. |
HEAD | KELLY NED | |
HEAD | LOAF OF BREAD | Don't just stand there - use your loaf. |
HEAD | LUMP OF LEAD | |
HEAD | UNCLE NED | |
HEAD (FELLATIO) | BLOOD RED | She likes to give blood. |
HEART | GROCER'S CART | |
HEART | HORSE AND CART | |
HEART | RASPBERRY TART | |
HEART (!) | JAM TART | |
HELL | GYPSY NELL | My knee is giving me gyp today. |
HEMORRHOIDS | EMMA FREUDS | Me Emma’s are playing me up. |
HIDE | DUCK AND DIVE | |
HILL | JACK AND JILL | The store is up the jack. |
HILL | RHUBARB PILL | |
HOLE | DRUM ROLL | Let’s pop ‘round to my drum (referring to someone’s house). |
HOME | GATES OF ROME | |
HOME | POPE IN ROME | Let's pop 'round his pope and fetch him. |
HOOKER | ONE TIME LOOKER | |
HORSE | APPLE SAUCE | |
HORSE | BOTTLE OF SAUCE | |
HORSE | CHARING CROSS | |
HORSE | TOMATO SAUCE | |
HORSES, HORSE RACES | TOMATO SAUCES | |
HOT | PEAS IN THE POT (PEASY) | Don't touch that - it's bloody peasy. |
HOUSE | CAT AND MOUSE | Went 'round to his cat to wake him up. |
HOUSE | MICKEY MOUSE | I'm taking my missus to the mickey tonight. |
HOUSE | MINNIE MOUSE | |
HOUSE | RAT AND MOUSE | |
HUSBAND | OLD POT AND PAN | |
HYMNS | HERS AND HIMS |
ICE | WHITE MICE | |
IMMIGRANT | JIMMY GRANT, JIMMY | |
IN THE KNOW | BROWN JOE |
JACKET | DESMOND HACKETT | |
JAIL | BUCKET AND PAIL | One drink too many and I get seven days in the bucket. |
JAIL | GINGER ALE | ‘e’s doing time in the ginger. |
JAIL | RUSTY NAIL | |
JAM | TOM AND SAM | |
JEANS | DIXIE DEANS | |
JEANS | MILTON (KEENES) | |
JEW | FIVE TO TWO | If you're a fiver then today's your Sabbath. |
JEW | FOUR BY TWO | He's not from around here - he's a four. |
JEWELLERY | TOM FOOLERY | That bloke looks a flash, look at all his tom. |
JOB | CORN ON THE COB | e can't afford it - 'e ain't got a corn |
JOCK (SCOT) | SWEATY SOCK | There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a sweaty on a boat... |
JOCKEY | HICKEY HOCKEY | |
JUDGE | BARNABY RUDGE | I'm up in front of the Barnaby tomorrow morning. |
JUDGE | CHOCOLATE (FUDGE) |
KEEK | MOZAMBIQUE | |
KEG, KEG OF BEER | AUNTIE MEG | |
KEYS | DANCING FLEAS | |
KEYS | KNOBBLY KNEES | Have you got your knobblies with you? |
KID(S) | DUSTBIN(S) LID(S) | A nice girl but too many dustbin's. |
KID(S) | GOD FORBID(S) GODFOR'S | Couldn't hear a thing 'cause of all the Godfor's. |
KID(S) | SAUCEPAN(S) LID(S) | I'm forever buy clothes for the saucepan lids |
KID(S) | TEAPOT(S) LID(S) | I'm taking my little teapot to country. |
KID(S) | TIN(S) LID(S) | I can’t put me foot down without stepping on one of the tin lids. |
KIDNEY | NORTH SYDNEY | |
KIDNEY | SOUTH SYDNEY | |
KIDNEY | SYDNEY | |
KING | DINGALING | |
KIP | FEATHER AND FLIP | |
KIP | JOCKEY'S WHIP | |
KIPPER | JACK (THE RIPPER) | |
KNACKERED (TIRED) | CREAM CRACKERED | I'm cream crackered, mate. |
KNEES | BISCUITS AND CHEESE | I've been on my biscuits all day. |
KNICKERS | ALAN WHICKERS | The 'lastics gone in me alans. |
KNIFE | DRUM AND FIFE | |
KNIFE & FORK | DRUMMOND & ROCE | |
KRAUT (GERMAN) | RAINBOW TROUT | Bloody rainbows beat us at football last night! |
LADY OF BRISTOL | PISTOL | |
LAGER | FORSYTE SAGA | |
LAIR, DANDY | FRED ASTAIRE | |
LAIR, DANDY | TEDDY BEAR | |
LATER | BAKED POTATO | I'll see ya baked. |
LATER | CHRISTIAN SLATER | |
LATER (PRONOUNCED THAT WAY) | HOT POTATER | |
LATHER | HOW'S YOUR FATHER? | |
LAUGH | BUBBLE BATH | You’re ‘avin a bubble aren’t ya? |
LAUGH | GIRAFFE | You’re havin’ a giraffe, mate. |
LAUGH | STEFFI (GRAFF) | You’re having a Steffi |
LAUGH | TIN BATH | |
LAUGH | TURKISH (BATH) | He’s havin’ a turkish. |
LEAK, TO URINATE | BUBBLE AND SQUEAK | |
LEECHES | CRIES AND SCREECHES | |
LEG | GREGORY PEG | |
LEG | MYSTIC MEG | |
LEG(S) | DUTCH PEG(S) | |
LEGS | BACON AND EGGS | Lovely set of bacons. |
LEGS | CLOTHES PEGS | |
LEGS | HAM AND EGGS | |
LEGS | SCOTCH PEGS | Sit down and take a load off your pegs. |
LEGS | SCOTCHES (PEGS) | |
LESBIAN | WEST END THESPIAN | She’s a lovely girl but she is west end, you know. |
LETTER | NEVER BETTER | |
LIAR | DUNLOP TYRE | |
LIAR | HOLY FRIAR | |
LIES | PORK PIES | Blimey - he gets two pigs (beers) in him and he starts telling porkies. |
LIES | PORKY PIES | |
LIGHT (ALE) | DAY AND NIGHT | |
LIP, CHEEKINESS | SLIPPERY DIP | |
LIVER | CHEERFUL GIVER | Lovely - cheerful for dinner tonight. |
LOAN | DARBY AND JOAN | |
LODGER | ARTFUL DODGER | She's taken in an artful to help pay the way. |
LOOK | BUTCHER'S (HOOK) | Here - take a butcher's at this. |
LOOK | CAPTAIN COOK | |
LOST IT | KATE MOSSED IT | |
LOT (SERVING OR SHARE) | HOPPING POT | That’s your hopping mate. |
LOT OF BULL, PACK OF LIES | THREE BAGS FULL | |
LOVE | RUBBER GLOVE | |
LUCK | DONALD DUCK | How’s your Donald? |
M\'DARLIN | BARNEY MARLIN | |
MAD | MUM AND DAD | He's a bit mum and dad. |
MAN, OLD MAN (FATHER or HUSBAND) | POT AND PAN | I was talking to me old pot just yesterday. |
MARK | FINSBURY (PARK) | |
MARKER (PEN) | RONNIE BARKER | |
MARRIED | CASH AND CARRIED | Poor bloke got cashed on the weekend. |
MATCHES | CUTS AND SCRATCHES | Do you have any cuts? |
MATCHES | FLEAS AND SCRATCHES | |
MATCHES | JACK SCRATCHES | |
MATE | CHINA (PLATE) | How are you, my old china? |
MATE | GARDEN GATE | |
MEAT PIE | NAZI SPY | |
MEETING | BUSTER KEATON | |
MENTAL | RADIO RENTAL | He's a bit radio |
MENU | ME AND YOU | |
MERCY | PICCADILLY PERCY | |
MIDDLE | HEY DIDDLE DIDDLE | |
MILK | ACKER BILK | |
MILK | SOFT AS SILK | |
MILK | TOM SILK | |
MIND | CHINESE BLIND | You’re out of you little chinese mate. |
MINGE | EDINBURGH FRINGE | |
MINUTE | COCK LINNET | |
MISS | CUDDLE AND KISS | She's a cute little cuddle. |
MISS; MISSED CATCH AT CRICKET | CHEESY KISS | |
MISSUS | CHEESE AND KISSES | old cheese |
MISSUS (MRS) | LOVE AND KISSES | Where did your love and kisses go? |
MISSUS (MRS) | PLATES AND DISHES | How’s the plates getting on then? |
MOAN | ONE ALONE | |
MONEY | BEES AND HONEY | Can't go in there without any bees. |
MONEY | BREAD AND HONEY | Let's drink with him - he's got bread. |
MONEY | BUGS BUNNY | I’ve got some Bugs bunny in me sky rocket and I'm off down the rub-a-dub-dub. |
MOON | SILVER SPOON | |
MORNING | DAY'S DAWNING | |
MORNING | GIPSY'S WARNING | |
MOTHER | STRANGLE AND SMOTHER | |
MOTOR | HADDOCK & BLOATER | |
MOTOR | TEA, TWO, AND A BLOATER | |
MOUTH | NORTH AND SOUTH | I gave him a punch up the north. |
MRS. | LOVE & KISSES | |
MUG (FOOL) | STEAM TUG |
NARK | GRASS (IN THE PARK) | |
NAVY | SOUP AND GRAVY | |
NECK | BUSHEL AND PECK | He's got a bushel like tree trunk. |
NECK | GREGORY PECK | down the Gregory |
NECK TIE | LAMB'S FRY | |
NEWS | NAILS AND SCREWS | |
NEWSPAPER | JOHNNY RAPER, A JOHNNY | |
NICE | CHICKEN AND RICE | |
NICK (PRISON) | SHOVEL AND PICK | He’s spending a bit of time in the shovel. |
NIGHTMARE | LIONEL BLAIR | |
NIGHTMARE | WESTON (SUPER-MARE) | |
NIPPLE | RASPBERRY RIPPLE | Look at the thup'neys on her, raspberries like cigar buts! |
NOISE | BOX OF TOYS | Hold your box - they can hear you miles away! |
NOSE | BUGLE | |
NOSE | I SUPPOSE | That rotten drunk gave me a clip on me I suppose. |
NOSE | IRISH ROSE | She gave me a kiss on my Irish. |
NUMBER | CUCUMBER | |
NUN | CURRANT BUN | My meanest teachers were currents |
NUN | HOT CROSS BUN |
OFF | FRANK BOUGH | |
OLD MATE | OLD CHINA PLATE, OLD CHINA | |
ONE'S PAY, PAY PACKET, WAGES | ZANE GREY | |
ORGAN | MOLLY O'MORGAN | |
OUT OF ORDER | ALAN BORDER | |
OUT OF ORDER | BANG ALLAN BORDER | He’s Bang Allan |
OVERCOAT | I'M AFLOAT |
PAIR OF SOCKS | BOBBY ROCKS | |
PAKISTANI | BACON SARNIE | They’ve hired a new bloke at the shop – he’s a bacon |
PANTS | ADAM\'S | |
PANTS | INSECTS AND ANTS | |
PANTS | SAINT VITUS DANCE | |
PAPER, NEWSPAPER | LINEN DRAPER | Has the morning linen come yet? |
PARK | LIGHT AND DARK | |
PARK | NOAH'S ARK | I'm taking my misses to the Noah. |
PARK | PLIMSOLL MARK | |
PARSON (PRIEST) | WINCHCOMBE CARSON | |
PARTY | GAY AND HEARTY | |
PARTY | RUSSEL HARTY | |
PAWN (IN-PAWN) | BULLOCK'S HORN | |
PEE | KEN SMEE | |
PEE, URINATE | YOU AND ME | |
PEELERS (POLICE) | PITTSBURG STEELERS | |
PEICE (LUNCH) | MERLYN REES | |
PENNY | ABERGAVENNY | |
PENNY | COALHEAVER (FROM GIVER) | |
PENNY | KILKENNY | |
PEOPLE | SPIRE AND STEEPLE | |
PHONE | DOG AND BONE | She's always on the dog. |
PHONE | EAU DE COLOGNE | |
PHONE | STRAWBERRY RHONE | |
PHONE | TROMBONE | |
PHONE, TELEPHONE | AL CAPONE | |
PIANO | JOANNA | He sparkles on the joanna. |
PICK | MAD MICK | |
PICKLE | HARVEY NICHOL | |
PICTURES, CINEMA | FLEAS AND ITCHES | |
PIDDLE | JIMMY (RIDDLE) | I've had three pints - I could use a jimmy. |
PIDDLE | NELSON (RIDDLE) | |
PIDDLE, TO URINATE | GERRY RIDDLE | |
PIDDLE, TO URINATE | HI-DIDDLE-DIDDLE | |
PILES | CHALFONTS (ST. GILES) | |
PILES | DUKE OF ARGYLES | |
PILES | LAUGHS AND SMILES | |
PILES | METRIC MILES | |
PILES | MICHAEL MILES | |
PILES | NUREMBERG TRIALS | |
PILES (HEMORRHOIDS) | CHALFONT ST GILES | Me chalfonts are playing up. |
PILES (HEMORRHOIDS) | FARMER GILES | Blimey, I ain’t ‘alf suffering from me farmers |
PILES (HEMORRHOIDS) | NOBBY STILES | Me nobbies are acting up again |
PILES (HEMORRHOIDS) | ROCKFORD FILES | Me Jim Rockford's are giving me gip! |
PILES (HEMORRHOIDS) | SIEG HEILS | I’ll stand if you don’t mind - me sieg heils are acting up today. |
PILES (HEMORRHOIDS) | SLAY ‘EM IN THE AISLES | Me slay ‘ems are playing me up. |
PILL | JIMMY HILL | |
PILL (BIRTH CONTROL) | JACK AND JILL | She’s on the Jack |
PILLOW | TIT WILLOW | |
PILLOW | WEEPING WILLOW | |
PINCH (STEAL) | HALF-INCH | |
PINCHED | HALF INCHED | |
PISH | LILLIAN GISH | |
PISS | ANGEL'S KISS | |
PISS | ARTHUR BLISS | I’m just popping out for an Arthur |
PISS | GYPSY'S (KISS) | Blimey - no more beer till I've 'ad a gypsy's. |
PISS | HIT AND MISS | I've got to have a hit before we go out. |
PISS, URINATE | SNAKE'S HISS, SNAKE'S | |
PISSED | BRAHMS AND LIZST | |
PISSED | SCHINDLER'S LIST | |
PISSED (DRUNK) | BRAHMS AND LISZT | He's well Brahms and Liszt , don't give him any more to drink. |
PISSED (DRUNK) | OLIVER TWIST | I 'ad one over the eight last night and got completely Olivered. |
PISSED (DRUNK) | SCOTCH MIST | ‘e was completely scotch mist last night. |
PISSED, DRUNK | ADRIAN QUIST | |
PISTOL | LADY FROM BRISTOL | |
PITCH (STALL OR STAND) | HEDGE AND DITCH | |
PLONK, CHEAP WINE | HONKY TONK | |
PLONK, VIN BLANC, ANY WINE | PINKITY PLONK | |
LUCY LOCKET | Keep it in your Lucy. | |
SKY ROCKET | I've got nothing in my skies. | |
POLICE | DUCKS AND GEESE | |
POM, POMMY | TO AND FROM | |
PONCE | CHARLIE RONCE | |
PONY (25 SOVS, 26POUNDS25, OR ANIMAL) | MACARONI | |
POOF (HOMOSEXUAL) | IRON HOOF | He's a bit of an iron. |
PORK | MICKEY ROURKE | |
POST, MAIL | HOLY GHOST | |
POUND NOTE | READIES (NELSON EDDY'S) | |
POUNDS (CURRENCY) | QUID | |
POUNDS (CURRENCY) | SOVS | |
POX | BOOTS AND SOCKS | |
POX | SURREY DOCKS | |
PRICE | CURRY AND RICE | |
PRICE | FRIED RICE | |
PRICK | HAMPTON WICK | He gets on my wick. |
PRIEST | BAG OF YEAST | |
PRIEST | FAR EAST | |
PRINCE | PEAR AND QUINCE | |
PRISON | BOOM AND MIZZEN | ‘e’s off to the boom for a bit. |
PROSTITUTE | MALLEE ROOT | |
PUB | NUCLEAR SUB | I’ll meet you down the nuclear at 5 o’clock |
PUB | RUB-A-DUB-DUB | I'm off to the rub-a-dub-dub. |
PUB | RUDDITY DUB, RUBBITY | |
PUB (OR CLUB) | RUB-A-DUB | |
PUFF (MARIJUANA) | MICKEY DUFF | Here, mate. Got any Mickey? |
PUG, PRIZE FIGHTER | STEAM TUG | |
PUNTERS | HILLMAN HUNTERS | |
PURSE | GREY NURSE |
QUARTER | FARMER'S DAUGHTER | |
QUEEN | IN BETWEEN | |
QUEER | BRIGHTON PIER | |
QUEER | GINGER BEER | I don't know about that - sounds a bit ginger. |
QUEER (GAY) | KING LEAR | e’s a bit King Lear. |
QUID | SAUCEPAN LID | |
QUID | TEAPOT LID | I'm down a teapot already. |
QUID, ONE POUND STERLING (OBS.) | FIDDLEY-DID |
RACE | CHARLIE CHASE | not in the Charlie = not worthy of consideration |
RACING DOUBLE, THE DAILY DOUBLE | FROTH AND BUBBLE | |
RAILWAY LINE | BALL OF TWINE | |
RAIN | ANDY CAIN | |
RAIN | KING OF SPAIN | |
RAIN | PLEASURE AND PAIN | Any more pleasure and we'll be swimming. |
RAT, AN INFORMER | CABBAGE TREE HAT | |
RAT, NON-UNIONIST | TIT FOR TAT (2) | |
RAW | BALE OF STRAW | |
RAZOR | DAWN FRAZER | |
READIES (CASH) | DUANE EDDIES | |
READIES (POUND NOTES) | NELSON EDDY’S | ‘e’s got a pile of nelsons! |
REASONS | FOUR SEASONS | |
REDDIES | NELSON EDDIES | |
REEK | ANCIENT GREEK | |
REMEMBERANCE DAY POPPY (FLANDERS POPPY) | XEROX COPY | |
RENT | BURTON ON TRENT | They've raised my burton again. |
RENT | BURTON-ON-TRENT | |
RENT | DUKE OF KENT | I can't afford to pay the Duke of Kent this week |
RHYMING SLANG | OLD JACK LANG | |
RIDE | CHARLIE PRIDE | |
RIDE | VIRGIN BRIDE | |
RING | HIGHLAND FLING | |
RIVER | BULLOCK'S LIVER | |
RIVER | SHAKE AND SHIVER | He jumped right into the shake |
ROAD | FROG AND TOAD | Hit the frog, Don't ride your bike on the frog. [See Road => Kermit] |
ROAD | KERMIT | ‘e took off down the kermit. [From Kermit the Frog => frog and toad => road.] |
ROTTEN | GONE AND FORGOTTEN | |
ROTTEN | REELS OF COTTON | |
ROUGH | BRIAN (CLOUGH) | |
ROW (ARGUMENT) | BARN OWL | Went up to the dole office today. 'Ad a bit of a barney with the geezer behind the desk. |
ROW (ARGUMENT) | BULL AND COW | Had a right bull with my misses last night. |
RUM | FINGER AND THUMB | |
RUM | TOM THUMB | A wee bit of Tom and I'm off. |
RUM | TOM THUMB (1) | |
RUM, BONOX AND RUM | DAD AND MUM |
SACK | TIN TACK | |
SACK, BED, E.G. "HIT ROBERTA" | ROBERTA FLACK | |
SALOON BAR | BALLOON CAR | I'll be at the balloon. |
SALT | HAROLD HOLT (1) | |
SAUCE | DEAD HORSE | |
SAUCE | ROCKING HORSE | |
SCAB, NON-UNIONIST | HANSOM CAB | |
SCAR | MARS BAR | |
SCARF | CRY AND LAUGH | |
SCHOONER, BEER | LILY OF LAGOONA | |
SCORE | APPLE CORE | |
SCORE | BOBBY MOORE | |
SCOT | SWEATY SOCK | |
SCOTCH | GOLD WATCH | |
SCOTCH | PIMPLE AND BOTCH | He enjoys a good pimple. |
SCOTCH (WHISKEY) | POCKET WATCH | |
SCOUTS | BRUSSEL SPROUTS | He's always been a brussel. |
SEA | HOUSEMAID'S KNEE | |
SEE YA LATER | BAKED POTATA | |
SEEN | PEARLY QUEEN | |
SENSE | EIGHTEEN PENCE | |
SEX | OEDIPUS REX | |
SHABBY | WESTMINSTER ABBEY | He’s turned out a bit westminster today |
SHADOW | MUM AND DADDO | |
SHAGGED | MELVYN BRAGGED | |
SHAKES, D.T.S | DUCKS AND DRAKES | |
SHAKES, D.T.S | JOE BLAKES | |
SHAKY | CURRANT CAKEY | |
SHANDY (BEER AND LEMONADE) | NAPPER TANDY | |
SHARK | MARCUS CLARK | |
SHARK | NOAH\'S ARK | |
SHARK | NOAH'S ARK | |
SHAVE | ALL NIGHT RAVE | |
SHAVE | CHAS AND DAVE | I’m off for a chas |
SHAVE | CHAS 'N' DAVE | |
SHAVE | DAD AND DAVE | |
SHAVE | DIG IN THE GRAVE | A quick shower and dig and I'll be ready to go. |
SHAVE | DIG THE GRAVE | |
SHAVE | MISBEHAVE | |
SHAVE | OCEAN WAVE | |
SHEILA | CHARLIE WHEELER, CHARLIE | |
SHEILA | TWO WHEELER | |
SHILLING | THOMAS TILLING | |
SHIP | 'APPENY DIP | |
SHIRT | DICKY (DIRT) | Put your dicky dirt on before the company gets here. |
SHIRT | UNCLE BERT | I've got to press my uncle. |
SHIT | BRAD PITT | |
SHIT | EARTHA KITT | I'm going for an Eartha |
SHIT | TOM TIT | I'm going for a Tom Tit. |
SHIT | TWO BOB BIT | |
SHIT, TO DEFECATE | EDGAR BRITT | |
SHITE | BARRY WHITE | |
SHITE | BEN CARTWRIGHT | |
SHITE | TURKISH DELIGHT | |
SHITS | JIMMY BRITTS | |
SHITTER | LIGHT AND BITTER | |
SHITTER (ARSE) | GARY GLITTER | He kicked him right up the Gary |
SHITTER (RECTUM) | COUNCIL GRITTER | When I sat down there was a pin on my chair! Right up the council gritter! |
SHITTER (TOILET OR RECTUM) | RICK WHITTER | Back in a sec - I’m off to the rick |
SHIVERS | SWANNEE RIVERS (SWANNEES) | |
SHOCKER | BARRY CROCKER | |
SHOE | HOW D'YOU DO | |
SHOES | ONES AND TWOS | |
SHOES | RHYTHM AND BLUES | Get your rhythm and blues on |
SHOES | SAINT LOUIS BLUES | |
SHOES | TENS AND TWOS | |
SHOP | LOLLIPOP | |
SHOUT (ROUND) | WALLY GROUT | It’s your wally, mate (ie. It’s your turn to buy a round of drinks). |
SHOVEL | LORD LOVEL | |
SHOWER | DAVID GOWER | |
SHOWER | EIFFEL TOWER | |
SHOWER | FAIRY BOWER | |
SHOWER | HAPPY HOUR | |
SHOWER | TYRONE POWER | |
SICK | MOBY DICK | |
SICK | PAT AND MICK | |
SICK | TOM AND DICK | He's feeling a bit Tom. |
SICK | TOM DICK | |
SICK | UNCLE DICK | I can't come out tonight - I'm feeling a bit Uncle Dick |
SILLY | DAFFY DOWN DILLY | ‘e’s a bit daffy. |
SILLY | PICCADILLY | I’ve always said he was piccadilly |
SILLY | UNCLE (WILLY) | |
SISTER | BLOOD BLISTER | |
SISTER | KID BLISTER | |
SISTER | SKIN AND BLISTER | She may be his blister but she's nothing like him. |
SISTER | SOCK & BLISTER | |
SIX, IN CRICKET | DOROTHY DIX | |
SIXPENCE | TANNER | |
SIXPENCE | TILBURY | |
SKIN | THICK AND THIN | |
SKIN (CIGARETTE PAPER) | VERA LYNN | Got any vera’s? |
SKINS (CIGARETTE PAPERS) | VERAS (VERA LYNN) | |
SKINT | BERNIE FLINT | |
SKINT (BROKE) | BORASSIC LINT | He's right boric. |
SLASH | CHARLIE NASH | |
SLASH | PIE AND MASH | |
SLAUGHTERED | SON 'N DAUGHTER'D | |
SLEEP | BO-PEEP | What I need is a good bo-peep. |
SLEEP | ROLLING DEEP | |
SLEEP (KIP) | FEATHER AND FLIP, OR BO-PEEP | |
SLIPPERS | BIG DIPPERS | |
SMALL CHANGE | KEMBLA GRANGE, KEMBLA | |
SMOKING PIPE | CHERRY RIPE | |
SNAKE | JOE BLAKE | |
SNEEZE | BREAD AND CHEESE | I hate allergies - one good bread after another. |
SNOUT (CIGARETTE) | SALMON AND TROUT | Ere mate, give us a salmon, I'm right out. - See "ins and outs" |
SNOUTS (CIGARETTES) | INS AND OUTS | ‘ere mate, got any ins and outs? (See Salmon and Trout) |
SOAP | BAND OF HOPE | |
SOAP | BOB HOPE | |
SOAP | CAPE OF GOOD HOPE | Go wash yourself - and use the cape. |
SOAP | FAITH AND HOPE | Where's the faith and hope, I wanna wash me 'ands |
SOAP | JOE HOPE | |
SOCK, OR FROCK | ALMOND ROCK | |
SOCKS | CURLY LOCKS | |
SOCKS | JOE ROCKS | |
SOCKS | TON O' MY ROCKS | |
SOCKS, PAIR OF SOCKS | ALMOND ROCKS | Wouldn't it be nice if your almonds matched? |
SODA | MAJOR LODA | |
SON | BATH BUN | |
SON | CURRANT BUN | He's awfully proud of his currant. |
SONG | DING DONG | Everyone gather round the piano for a ding dong. |
SORES | DUDLEY MOORE'S | |
SOT | KENNEDY ROT | |
SOUP | LOOP DE LOOP | Nothing like a good loop on a cold day. |
SOUP | LOOP THE LOOP | |
SOUP | LOOPY THE LOOP | |
SOVEREIGN | JIMMY O'GOBLIN | |
SPANNER (WRENCH) | ELSIE TANNER | Can I borrow your elsie |
SPARROW | BOW AND ARROW | Little bow and arrow fell out of the nest. |
SPECS (GLASSES) | GREGORY PECKS | |
SPINE | LAGER AND LIME | |
SPOON | RUDY MOON | |
SPOT (ACNE) | RANDOLPH SCOTT | I've got a great big randolph on my chin |
SPOUSE | BOILER HOUSE | Me boiler’s always yammerin’ on. |
SPUDS | ROY HUDD\'S | |
SPUDS, POTATOES | CAPTAINS BLOODS | |
SPUDS, POTATOES | STEELE RUDDS | |
SPUNK | HARRY MONK | |
STAIRS | APPLES AND PEARS | Get yourself up the apples and pears. |
STAR | LAH-DI-DAH | |
START | HORSE AND CART | |
STARVED | PEAR HALVED | "Lunch in a bit?" "Yeah, I’m a bit pear." |
STARVIN’ | HANK MARVIN | I’m bloody Hank Marvin. I haven’t eaten all day |
STARVIN’ | LEE MARVIN | I’m Lee Marvin |
STATE | TWO & EIGHT | |
STATE (ANGUISH) | TWO AND EIGHT | He's in a two and eight over it. |
STEAK | JOE BLAKE | |
STEAK | KATE | |
STEAK | QUIVER AND SHAKE | |
STEAK AND KIDNEY | KATE AND SYDNEY | A lovely Kate and Sydney pie |
STELLA (PINT OF) | PAUL WELLER | |
STEW | BATTLE OF WATERLOO | |
STICK | CLICKETY-CLICK | |
STILSONS (PIPE WRENCHES) | HAROLD WILSON'S | |
STINK | PEN AND INK | That's a bit of a pen and ink. |
STORY | GRIM AND GORY | |
STORY | JACKANORY | |
STOUT (BEER) | SALMON AND TROUT | Stop by and have a salmon. |
STOVE | LANE COVE | |
STOVE | PURPLE AND MAUVE | |
STRAY | GAMMA RAY | That Mary’s a bit of a gamma |
STREET | FIELD OF WHEAT | He out standing in the field, waiting for a bus. |
STRING | HIGHLAND FLING | |
STRONG | PING PONG | |
SUB | RUBBER DUB | |
SUB (PAY ADVANCE) | RUB A DUB | Guvnor Give us a rub a dub till pay day. |
SUGAR, AFTER TATE AND LYLE | HARRY TATE (FETCH SOME ~) | |
SUIT | BAG OF FRUIT | |
SUIT | WHISTLE AND FLUTE | He bought himself a new whistle for the wedding. |
SUIT | WHISTLE AND FLUTE, WHISTLE | |
SULKY (HORSE DRAWN CARRIAGE) | BIG AND BULKY | |
SULTANAS | SALTY BANANAS | |
SUN | CURRANT BUN | Old current bun's out today |
SUN | HOT CROSS BUN | |
SUPPER | TOMMY TUCKER | You can sing for your Tommy. |
SURE | BOBBY (MOORE) | |
SWAG | WILLY WAG | |
SWEAR | LORD MAYOR | |
SWIM | DARK AND DIM | |
SWIM | TIGER TIM, TIGER | |
SYDNEY | STEAK AND KIDNEY |
TABLE | BETTY GRABLE | |
TABLE | CAIN AND ABEL | Sit yourself at the cain and I'll bring you your Tommy (Tommy Tucker - supper). |
TAIL | ALDERMAN'S NAIL | He's always wagging his alderman's. |
TAILOR | SINBAD THE SAILOR | |
TALE | NEWGATE GAOL | |
TALK | RABBIT (& PORK) | |
TALK | RABBIT AND PORK | He's always rabbitting on about something. |
TALK | ROAST PORK | |
TAN | CHARLIE (CHAN) | |
TAN | PETER PAN | |
TANNER | TARTAN BANNER | |
TANNER (SIXPENCE) | LORD OF THE MANOR | |
TANNER (SIXPENCE) | SPRARSY ANNA | LEND US A SPRARSY |
TAP (BORROW) | STAR'S NAP | |
TAP (BORROW, ASK FOR A LOAN) | CELLARFLAP | |
TAP (FAUCET) | TREE AND SAP | |
TART | LIONEL BART | |
TART (SWEETHEART) | MERRYHEART | |
TATS, TEETH | CRICKET BATS | |
TAX | SEALING WAX | |
TAXI | JOE (BAXI) | |
TAXI | SLAPSIE MAXIE | |
TEA | DICKY LEE | |
TEA | GYPSIE LEE | |
TEA | JIMMY LEE | |
TEA | MOTHER MACHREE | |
TEA | ROSY LEA | I've just put the rosy on. |
TEA | ROSY LEE | |
TEA | WASP AND BEE | |
TEA | YOU AND ME | |
TEETH | HAMPSTEAD HEATH | His hampsteads (hamps) are a crime. |
TELLY | NED KELLY | |
TELLY | WOBBLY JELLY | |
TELLY (TV) | CUSTARD AND JELLY | As usual, nothing on the custard tonight. |
TEN | BIG BEN | |
TEN | COCK & HEN | |
TEN | COCK AND HEN | I didn't get much change back from a cock |
TENNER | PAUL MCKENNA | |
TENNER (10 POUND NOTE) | LOUISE WENER | ‘ere, lend us a louise. |
TENT | PAY ME RENT | |
TERRIFIED | BONA FIDE | |
THANK-YOU | SANDSHOE | |
THE HERALD (NEWSPAPER) | JIM GERALD | |
THIEF | TEA LEAF | He's always been a bit of a tea leaf. |
THIEVING | TEA LEAFING | |
THINK-BOX, HEAD | BUNDLE OF SOCKS | |
THIRST | GEOFF (HURST) | |
THROAT | NANNY GOAT | |
TICKET | BAT AND WICKET | I've got a bat for tonight's train. |
TIE | PECKHAM RYE | I’m putting on me best whistle and me new peckham. |
TIGHTS | FLY-BY-NIGHTS | |
TIME | BIRD (LIME) | |
TIME | BIRD LIME | What's the bird? |
TIME | BIRD'S LIME | |
TIP, IN HORSE RACING | EGG FLIP | |
TITS | THRI'PENNY BITS | |
TITS (BREASTS) | BRACE AND BITS | Blimey - what a brace! |
TITS (BREASTS) | BRAD PITTS | Nice pair of brads |
TITS (BREASTS) | EARTHA KITTS | Nice Eartha's |
TITS (BREASTS) | THR'PENNY BIT | Look at the Thr'penny's on her. |
TITTIES | BRISTOL CITIES, BRISTOLS | |
TITTIES | BRISTOLS (CITIES) | |
TITTIES | MANCHESTER CITIES | |
TITTIES (BREASTS) | BRISTOL CITIES | She's got a lovely pair of Bristols. |
TO BASH | FANCY SASH | |
TO MARRY | CASH AND CARRY | |
TO PINCH, TO STEAL | HALF INCH | |
TO RUN AWAY | BOTANY BAY | do a Botany |
TO STAY | JACK SHAY | |
TOAST | HOLY GHOST | How about another round of ‘oly. |
TOES | BROMLEY BY BOW\'S | |
TOES | BUTTONS AND BOWS | |
TOES | OLD BLACK JOES | |
TOES | THESE AND THOSE | |
TOSS | IRON HORSE | |
TOSS | KATE MOSS | I couldn’t give a Kate Moss. |
TOTE | CANAL BOAT | |
TOTE, TOTALISATOR | GIDDY GOAT | |
TOWEL | BADEN POWELL | |
TOWEL | MORTAR AND TROWEL | |
TOWEL. SEE ALSO BADEN POWELL | BOB POWELL | |
TOWN | PENNY BROWN | |
TRAIN | ROARING RAIN | |
TRAIN | SHOWER OF RAIN | |
TRAIN | THUNDER AND RAIN | |
TRAIN GUARD | CHRISTMAS CARD | |
TRAINERS | CLAIRES (RAYNOR) | |
TRAINERS (RUNNING SHOES) | CLAIRE RAYNERS | I’ve got me new Claire Rayners on |
TRAM | BAA LAMB | |
TRAM | BREAD AND JAM | |
TRAMP | PARAFFIN LAMP | |
TRAMP | PARRAFIN LAMP | |
TREY, THREEPENCE (OBS.) | ALMA GREY | |
TROTS, DYSENTERY | RED HOTS | |
TROUBLE | BARNEY RUBBLE (FLINTSTONES) | Stay away from him. He's really Barney. |
TROUSERS | DEAD WOWSERS | |
TROUSERS | LESLEY CROWTHERS | |
TROUSERS | RAMMY ROUSERS | |
TROUSERS | ROUND THE HOUSES | ‘e’s got hisself a new set of round the houses |
TROUSERS FLY | NELLY BLIGH (1) | |
TRUNKS | CHIPMUNKS | |
TUB | BIB AND BUB | to have bib and bub; take bath |
TUBE (UNDERGROUND RAILWAY) | OXO CUBE | |
TUMBLE, TAKE A TUMBLE, TO UNDERSTAND | VIOLET CRUMBLE | |
TUNE | STEWED PRUNE | |
TURD | DOUGLAS HURD | |
TURD | RICHARD THE 3RD | |
TURD (SHIT) | RICHARD THE THIRD | He's a bit of a Richard. |
TURKEY | PINKY & PERKY | |
TWIG | EARWIG |
UGLY | FUG(LY) | |
UGLY FACE | CAMBRIDGE & OXFORD | |
UMBRELLA | AUNTIE ELLA | Wonderful - it's starting to rain and me without my Auntie Ella. |
UNDIES | EDDIE GRUNDIES | |
UNDIES | REG GRUNDY'S (REGGY'S) |
VARSOVIENNA, DANCE | ARSE OVER HEADER | |
VEG | UNCLE REG | |
VICAR | PIE AND LIQUOR | |
VODA (MOBILE PHONE) | WHISKEY (AND SODA) | |
VOICE | HOBSON'S CHOICE | |
VOICE | LET'S REJOICE | |
VOMIT | WALLACE AND GROMMIT |
WAGER (BET) | JOHN MAJOR | |
WAGES | CAT AND CAGES | |
WAGES | GREEN GAGES | |
WAGES | GREENGAGES | I've blown the greengages down at the dogs |
WAGES | ROCK OF AGES | |
WAISTCOAT | CHARLIE PRESCOT | |
WAITER | HOT POTATO | |
WALK | BALL OF CHALK | After a heavy meal I like quick ball round the square. |
WALK | PICKLED PORK | |
WALK | STICK OF CHALK | |
WALL | BAT AND BALL | |
WANK | PEDDLE & CRANK | |
WANK | TOM TANK | |
WANK (MASTURBATE) | BARCLAYS BANK | He's having a barclays. |
WANK (MASTURBATE) | J. ARTHUR RANK | e's off having a J. Arthur |
WANK (MASTURBATE) | PEDDLE AND CRANK | I’m off for a peddle! |
WANK (MASTURBATE) | SHERMAN TANK | e’s a right sherman |
WANK (MASTURBATE) | TOMMY TANK | She’s probably at home doing a tommy. |
WANKER | JODERALL BANKER | |
WANKER | KUWAITY TANKER | |
WANKER | MERCHANT BANKER | He’s a right merchant |
WANKER | RAVI SHANKAR | That referee is a right Ravi |
WASH | BOB SQUASH | |
WASH | LEMON SQUASH | |
WATCH | BOTTLE OF SCOTCH | |
WATCH | GORDON AND GOTCH | |
WATCH (FOB WATCH) | KETTLE (AND HOB) | That's a lovely kettle |
WATER | FISHERMAN'S DAUGHTER | |
WATER | MOTHER AND DAUGHTER | |
WATER | SQUATTER'S DAUGHTER | |
WEEK | BUBBLE AND SQUEAK | |
WHISKY | GAY AND FRISKY | I'll have a gay and I'm off. |
WHISKY | YOUNG AND FRISKY | |
WHORE | DOUG MCCLURE | |
WIFE | BREAD KNIFE | |
WIFE | DUCHESS OF FIFE | Now my old dutch, where are we off to tonight? |
WIFE | FORK AND KNIFE | |
WIFE | TROUBLE AND STRIFE | I'm taking my trouble dancing tonight. |
WIFE (WOMAN) | GOOSEBERRY PUDDIN' | |
WIG | IRISH JIG | |
WIG | SYRUP (OF FIG) | What a syrup. |
WINDOW | BURNT CINDER | Close the bloody burnt |
WINDY | MORK AND MINDY | Cor, it’s bloody mork today |
WISHES | POTS AND DISHES | |
WOOD | DOME GOOD | |
WORD | DICKY BIRD | He left without so much as a dicky. |
WORD | RICHARD THE THIRD | |
WORK | DODGE AND SHIRK | |
WORRIES | FRED MCMURRAYS | |
WRIST | OLIVER TWIST | |
WRONG | PETE TONG | It’s all gone a bit Pete |
YANK | SEPTIC (TANK) | He's not very bright... septic, you know. |
YANK | SHERMAN TANK | |
YANK | WOODEN PLANK | |
YANKS | PETROL (TANKS) | |
YEARS | DONKEY'S EARS | Ain't seen you in donkeys mate. |
YID (JEW) | FRONT WHEEL SKID | He's a front wheel. |
ZAC, SIXPENCE (OBS.) | HAMMER AND TACK |
Graphics on this page are from Moyra's Web Jewels.
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