The suicidal child: his sister's story
Though this website is formatted as a weblog, it is not a commentary or a journal of daily events. It is a journal of sorts, but it is a retrospective look at the seventeen years of my brother Peter's life, particularly the last eight, during which he was, and is, suffering from clinical depression.
As I will be revealing information of a deeply personal nature, as well as medical records regarding Peter's condition, out of respect for my family, I plan togive little in the way of information by which any of us could be identified. I am Adelaide; I am 22 years old; I attend college in Canada. Our mother has a degree in psychology, a fact whcih is relevant only insofar as it made her inability to understand Peter all the more frustrating - and frightening. We are a Jewish family and our grandmother, Sylvia, with whom we were very close, died in 1991. Other than that, most of the details in this story will be of a personal and introspective nature.
I expect that at times I will be harsh in my descriptions of my parents. Over the past several years, in particular, during my last two years of high school, I was very angry with them, and I maintain that handled many things quite poorly. I am not angry with them any longer; it has been four years sinc I left home and they have recognized their errors. But it is important that these aspects of the story be told.
Why am I writing this? Catharsis. Reaching out. The past nine years have been somewhat tumultuous for us all, and writing things down allows me to assess things more thoroughly. But, moreover, I hope that these writings are helpful to anyone who is living with, or raising, a suicidal child or young teen. I had no one I could talk to other than my parents, whose perspective reflected their own experiences far moreso than my own; other teenagers couldn't begin to fathom what it was like to live with a child who wanted - and tried - to kill himself.
I am not a doctor or a psychologist; I offer only my own experiences. Nevertheless, you are invited to mail me to comment on this site or if you just want to talk. I can be reached at hisoldersister@yahoo.ca.