Top Ten Reasons to be Married to a Crossdresser
10. Satin and velvet are more snuggly than denim and wool.
9. He understands the need for quality cosmetics.
8. You have even more excuses to go shopping, and he will even carry the bags.
7. You can borrow his jewelry & clothes!
6. He understands why you go through so many pairs of stockings.
5. He no longer expects you to get ready for a night on the town in 15 minutes or less.
4. The world needs more feminists in lipstick.
3. You can take the Cosmo quizzes together.
2. You can ask him how an outfit looks, and get an intelligent response.
1. His new friends don't spend all day watching football.
~Attributed to Alexis von Badenberg
1. What do you think caused you to be straight?
2. When and how did you first decide you were straight?
3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is a phase you might grow out of?
4. Is it possible you are heterosexual because you have a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. If you've never slept with someone of the same sex and enjoyed it, is it possible that all you need is a good homosexual or bisexual lover?
6. Whom have you told of your heterosexuality? How did they react to it?
7. Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you leave me alone, but why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others into their orientation?
8. Why do you insist on flaunting your straightness with wedding rings, photos at work and talk of your sexual escapades? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
9. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are straight. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to straight teachers?
10. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed to help you change if you really want to. Have you considered aversion therapy?
11. Considering the battering, abuse and divorce rate associated with heterosexual coupling, why would you want to enter into that kind of relationship?
12. How can you limit yourself to a compulsive, exclusively heterosexual lifestyle and remain unwilling to explore and develop your normal, healthy, God-given homosexual potential?
13. And anyway, why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
I have seen this list credited to many different sources, so I apologize for not giving the author credit.
(Please take this tongue-in-cheek for the fun of it!)
And who wrote the law that gives those homosexuals the right to live together without having to get married? I'm tired of hearing of them living together, having good jobs, driving fancy cars and not having to make a commitment! They should HAVE to get married!
When divorce lawyers take their cut and what's left must be split 50-50, maybe then they will begin to know what "normal" reality means. If they had in-laws poking their noses into their lives and had to support a no-good brother-in-law or sister-in-law, then maybe they wouldn't be so "gay".
It's no wonder they have the reputation of being great interior decorators...with not being married they don't have all those tacky family and in-law "gifts" that must be displayed forever.
When Uncle Joseph has to pay alimony to Aunt Fred, I will be a happy man!
*Work like you don't need the money.
*Love like you've never been hurt.
*Dance like nobody's watching.
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