was born and raised in Alexandria , Virginia
many many many moons ago .
My unloving Father was a carpenter ,
sadly afflicted with alcoholism .
He was a good provider , and that's one thing positive
I remember about that son-of-a-bitch !
My mother was somewhat of a saint for
tolerating the emotional and physical abuse
she endured for the sake of the children .

e's dead .

e grew up very poor ,
living in an old pink trailer .
There were five children ; I was the only male .
Our enviroment was so miserable , all the girls
left home by the time they were 16 ,
just to get the fuck out of that hell hole !
My escape was a short stint in the U.S. Navy .
I returned to Virginia , only to make the mistake
of marrying a pregnant ex-girlfriend when I was 17 ,
only because of the fact that I had
not accepted my homosexuality .
Obviously , I was doomed to carry on our family's
traditional cycle of dysfunction , God help us .
Regardless that I knew it was a mistake to marry ,
it resulted in two wonderful children .
My Daughter and I are still very close .
My son , who is in the Navy , has not spoken
to me since my divorce 30 years ago .

fter my divorce , I had decided to stop living a lie ,
and follow my true desire of being with fellow men .
However , my life still was a fucked-up mess
as I wallowed in self-pity and alcohol ,
following the curse of my unbeloved Father .

t 19 years of age , I supported myself by hustling
on the streets and gay clubs in D.C.
I lived in a seedy bathhouse named the 'Regency' ,
where the owner , David , rented cubicles to
down-and-out hustlers , runaways and other derelicts .
We survived mostly on macaroni and cheese ,
soups , and 'fairy pudding'
(known to the well-off as tuna casserole) .
Everybody would share their resources , and made sure
no one went to bed hungry......or sober .

t 25 , I met someone who attempted
to straighten my ass out .
He took me into his home , bought me clothes ,
supplied me with transportation
as a means to find decent employment ,
without ever wanting anything in return .
I guess he seen the potential in me ,
something I never knew was there .
God Bless you , Rusty , I'll never forget you .

fter Rusty , I gained respectable employment ,
and some of my self-respect .
Sadly , I still found myself abusing alcohol ,
my spare time spent alone and drunk .
How I managed to keep my job , is a damn wonder .

hrough my job , I tranferred to Orlando , Florida ,
to what I thought was a new beginning .
After several affairs , and drinking binges ,
I met a good man named John ,
who told me he could love me ,
but only after I learned to love myself .
Thus began my path to recovery .
As of today , I have been clean and sober .
It's been almost nine years . Thank you , John .
Though I regret some of my past , I have managed to
make and keep valuable friends ,
some of which are loves lost .
In fact , one of them is building this web site for me .
Thanks , Dirt Dog ! Remember the good times .

currently live south of Orlando ,
about fifteen minutes from Disney World
I've come a long way ,
and have much to be grateful for .
I hope I haven't bored you , thanks for your time .

If there's one lesson to be learned here ,
it's please love yourself and be good to yourself !