ch18

At 2:19, the two cars pull up to the studio where ’38 Minutes’ is being taped.
The ten kids race inside to the lobby, where Louie, Brian, Claudia, and Mrs. Raposo are waiting…worried sick.
Claudia- There you are!
Brian- Where have you been??
Louie- You weren’t at the shoot!
Mrs. Raposo- We’ve been worried SICK!
Greg, Frankie, Chris, Jesse, Matt- Sorry…
Brian- There’s no time for that…you’re on the air in two minutes.
Louie- We’ll discuss this later.
Claudia- Hurry, boys!
The five guys rush onto the set, where the host, Sue Blue, waits impatiently.
Sue- There you boys are! My, you’re not quite as punctual as I would’ve hoped.
Frankie- We’re sorry, Ms. Blue.
Sue- Alright, alright. Just, here, sit on these five stools.
The guys sit down.
Director- We’re on in five, four, three, two…(he signals Sue)
Sue- Good afternoon, New York, and welcome to 38 Minutes! I’m your host, Sue Blue. With us today are five boys from NYC, known to all of you as Dream Street. Boys, please introduce yourselves.
The microphone goes down the line.
Greg- Hey, I’m Greg Raposo.
Matt- What’s up, I’m Matt Ballinger.
Frankie- Hey, I’m Frankie Galasso.
Chris- Hi there, I’m Chris Trousdale.
Jesse- What’s up, I’m Jesse McCartney.
Sue- Tell me, how long have you all been a group?
The guys answer this and some more questions as the girls make their way to the back of the room.
Sue- What is your ideal girl?
The five guys stare at their girls.
Greg- I love a girl who can get kidnapped by an ugly fag and still be able to go out in public…
Cameraman- (whispering to the producer) Can we say “fag” on TV?
The producer shrugs.
Greg-…I like a girl who respects peace…likes to have fun…enjoys pizza…weighs less than 300 pounds…
Matt takes the microphone on a cue from Sue.
Matt- I love girls who are athletic…I love going with a girl to the Yankees game…I like smart girls…I love girls who are good-looking…(He nods)…yeah…
Frankie- Someone who likes to have fun…a girl who likes the Yankees…makes Chicken Burgettes…girls named Anna…
Sue- Anna, huh?
Frankie- Well…um…I like the name…?
Chris- Girls who care about hair and its importance really catch my eye. Also, I love when a girl helps me out and cares about me…she’s gotta have a love for peace…
Jesse- Cheerleaders fascinate me. And I love it when girls fall into the same I.Q. category as me. Girls who make me feel dumb…those girls I just like to avoid.
Sue- Riiiiight…well boys, as you know, 38 Minutes held a contest last month entitled “Win a Dream Date with Dream Street”, and you boys are going to call up the five winning girls and take them out for a night on the town!
The girls’ eyes get big.
Frankie- (shifting in his seat) Um…no…we didn’t know that…
Jesse- Excuse me, what?
Sue- Uh…we’ll be right back.
Director- And…cut.
Matt looks helplessly over at Brian and Louie.
Louie- Uh…whoops?
Chris- Whoops? Dude…this is SO not fair…
Claudia- Now guys…tons of girls are just dying to go out with you.
Greg- (smiling) Hey, I don’t blame them.
Matt elbows Greg.
Jesse- But…we have girlfriends…
Sue- Until after tomorrow night, you’re single.
The girls look at each other with confused expressions.
Chris- But…
Brian- Sorry guys…but this is really important to the fans…
Matt- Ugh…this isn’t fair…
Director- And…we’re on!
Sue- Welcome back to 38 Minutes. Sue Blue here with my good friends, Dream Street. Guys, wave to all your fans out there.
The five guys give a weak wave.
Sue- And now…the moment you’ve all been waiting for…the winners of the “Win a Dream Date with Dream Street Contest”! Each member will draw a card from our basket and dial the girl’s number! Are you ready? Alright…let’s go!
A stagehand comes out with a basket full of little papers and hands each guy a cordless phone.
Greg picks a card out, and after reading the name, falls off the back of his stool.
Matt glances at Greg’s card and snickers. He nervously reaches in the basket.
Next up is Frankie, who forces a smile as he digs for a card.
Next comes Chris, then Jesse.
When all five boys have a card, the dialing begins.
Jesse- Hi, is…Ming there?
Voice- (in an Oriental accent) One moment please.
Chris- Hi…is Christina there?
Voice- This is she…
Frankie- Hi…is…Osama there? (He looks up at Sue with big eyes)
Voice- Yes, hang on…she’s just outside in her cave.
Frankie gulps.
Matt- Um…hi…is Pollyanna there?
Voice- (in a Southern accent) Sure, there, cowboy.
Greg- (gulping) Is…*cough*…Nelda there?

***

The five girls storm out of the studio and get into Meagan’s car.
Tory- Drive fast.
Meagan- No problem.
The car backs out and turns off onto the street, speeding off towards the hotel.
Amy- Why did he do it?
Anna- I don’t know…but they did…and now Frankie has a date with a girl named Osama.
Melissa isn’t all that upset.
Tory- Melissa, why aren’t you upset?
Melissa- Guys, Greg has a date with Nelda. I don’t see anything to worry about.
Meagan- Matt is going to go out with “Pollyanna” or whatever her name is.
Amy- Jesse’s got a date with Ming.
Tory- Well, poor Chris got stuck with “Christina”. How confusing is that?
Anna- Geez…we shouldn’t have been so naļve.
Meagan- We should have known this would happen.
Tory- But I loved Chris…
Amy- Same here…except I loved Jesse…
Melissa- Guys, everything will be ok. It’s just one date.
Tory, Anna, Meagan, Amy- Whatever.
The next fifteen minutes are reflective silence.
Meagan- Hey, there’s Ben and Jerry’s.
Anna- Let’s go! I need some junk food right about now.
Melissa- (as the Diablo pulls into a spot) Technically, ice cream isn’t a junk food. You can eat it when you want to lose weight…if you eat the right kinds that is…
Amy, Tory, Meagan, Anna- Shut up…

***

Back at the hotel later that night, Frankie, Matt, Greg, Chris, and Jesse all sit around in their hotel room sulking.
Matt- I shouldn’t have been so stupid…Meagan was the best…now I have Pollyanna…
Frankie- Man…I’d rather give up ravioli for a year than have Anna mad at me…
Chris and Jesse nod, too sad to talk about it.
Greg- I’m gonna call Melissa…I have to talk to her. I don’t think she’s mad at me.
Chris- Ok…shut up, Greg…
Jesse- Why wouldn’t she be? You’re just as bad as the rest of us. A liar…a cheater…a felon…(He lowers his head in a pitiful weep)
Frankie- (sniffing, patting Jesse’s shoulder) It’s ok, man.
Greg- Guys…I was lucky enough to score a date with the beluga whale.
Chris- You call that lucky? I call it torture…
Greg- No…don’t you see? Melissa knows that Nelda doesn’t have a chance with me. She won’t be worried.
Matt- And Meagan’s supposed to think Pollyanna has a chance with me? The girl herds cattle…
Jesse- And Amy’s supposed to think-?
Frankie- Just…stop right there…
Greg- (getting out his phone) I’m calling her.

***

Meanwhile, at Ben and Jerry’s…
The five girls sit at a table, laughing away. Seventeen empty ice cream cups are scattered around the table.
Amy- (moaning) I’ve never been more bloated in my life…
Anna- Understandable…you did eat 13 of these ice cream cups.
Meagan- Well…eating gets her mind off Jesse I guess.
Tory- Jesse? Oh no…that reminds me of Chris…
Tory hits her head on the table.
Tory- Ow…
Melissa’s phone rings.
Melissa- Be right back.
Melissa gets up and walks over near the restrooms.
Melissa- Hello?
Greg- Hey Melissa. It’s-
Melissa- Greg. Hi.
Greg- Hi…um…listen, about what happened today-
Melissa- Don’t worry…I know. Nelda doesn’t stand a chance with you and you’re only doing this for the fans’ sake. I’m totally ok with it. As for the other four…they’re…
Greg- Pissed off?
Melissa- Right. Something like that.
Greg- Well, the guys feel really bad. You should see them…(Chris elbows him) Ow…
Melissa- (she looks over at the girls’ table) We have to get them back together.
Greg- I know…this is killing my four pathetic band mates…(He is nailed with four pillows) Ow…
Frankie- (in the background) We have a plan, Greg. You can hang up now.
Greg- (to Frankie) Right, pal. (Back into the phone) I’ll call you a little later…will you guys be at the hotel tonight?
Melissa- Yes…unless Meagan keeps driving right past it…but Tory wouldn’t let that happen, because her hair stuff is still in our hotel room…and so is Amy’s furry rat thing that dances on the carpet…and Anna’s Chicken Burgettes…and my Useless Knowledge key chain…
Greg- Yes, I see. Well, then I’ll call you soon. Love you.
Melissa- Love you too.
*Click*
*Click*

***

Greg- Ok…what’s the plan?
Matt- We’re taking them out on separate dates.
Frankie- We’re going to romance them right back into our arms!
Chris- They’ll be begging to take us back.
Jesse- Yep…uh huh…
Greg- God…begging, huh? Don’t get too carried away, guys…
Greg’s four pathetic band mates nail him with four more pillows.
Greg- Ow…
Frankie- I call our hotel room!
Matt- What? That isn’t fair!
Chris- Why do you get it?
Frankie- (grinning) I’m the oldest, remember?
Jesse- I will take Amy to Arthur On Ice!
Chris- Good idea…Arthur’s so totally awesome…(He and Matt start to laugh)
Matt- I’ll take Meagan to…my favorite lacrosse field!
Greg- Oh there’s romance…catching a ball in a net…
Matt- Fine…scratch that idea…
Chris- I can take Tory to…Central Park! We’ll rollerblade!
Frankie- Right…how about you, Matt?
Matt- I’m not sure yet…

***

Meanwhile, the girls are still at Ben and Jerry’s…
Melissa- Guys, are you angry with them?
Tory- No…just sad, hurt, confused…
Amy- Depressed…
Anna- Well…I am sort of upset…but it’s not Frankie’s fault…
Meagan- Yeah…I guess it’s not totally Matt’s fault…it was FORCED upon him…
Tory- Well…Chris…I don’t know…
Amy- Jesse being with another girl’s gonna make me mad jealous.
Anna, Meagan, Tory- Exactly.
Meagan- Hey…I have an idea…why not make them a little jealous- just for one night?
Anna- How so?
Meagan- We go out on dates of our own.
Tory- With who?
Meagan- Well…people we like as friends…like me, I’d go with Brody.
Amy- That really hot kid from Pennsylvania? He’s got hair like Chris…only…not as tall…
Tory- Hair like Chris? How could he just be a friend?
Meagan rolls her eyes.
Anna- Oh…I see. Nothing serious. Good…I’ll go with Beau.
Melissa- Ooh he’s cute…he’s a baseball player, right?
Anna- Yep…that’s why I picked him. (Her dazed smile quickly turns into an evil one) That and the fact that he LOVES the color red.
Amy- How come?
Anna- He says whenever you stop at a stoplight and it turns red, you just…STOP.
The girls all silence their giggles.
Tory- I can go with Winston…you know, from camp.
Melissa- Oh camp, eh?
Tory- Yes, camp. It’s very fun and recreational. Anywho…Winston is my favorite guy there…I’ve showed you my pictures, right?
Meagan- All 689 of them.
Anna- They are…so much fun…
Tory- Exactly. So I will go out with Winston.
Amy- Gee, I don’t know who I should go out with…
Melissa- Me either…
Meagan- I wouldn’t fret…I’m sure Amy has Bert and Ernie’s number.
Amy gives her an evil look.
Anna- From Dream Street to Sesame Street. That is SO Amy…
Tory- This is so exciting…I have to go back to the hotel so I can get ready for my date with Winston.
Meagan- Dude, it’s tomorrow night.
Tory- Well, no need to be rushed at the last minute. Besides, I need to exfoliate.
Amy- You need to what?
Tory- (rolling her eyes) You know…air my skin…let nature make me more beautiful…if that’s possible.
Meagan and Anna roll their eyes, shaking their heads.
Amy- Oh, you mean like stick cucumbers on your face. That’s very beautiful, Tor.
Melissa- Guys…I don’t know that I want to make Greg jealous…besides…I don’t know who to go with.
Anna- Oh well…guess you and Amy can chill…maybe watch a little Rugrats…eat some fruit snacks…
Amy- Yeah!
Melissa- No…I’ll find someone…
Amy- Oh, come on…(She makes a sad face)
Melissa- Change the fruit snacks to popcorn and we’ve got a deal.

***

Back in the guys’ room…
Matt- I’ve got it! Chinatown!
Greg- Dude…?
Matt- Yes…because I love Chinese food. Who knows, maybe Meagan does too.
Jesse- Why not go some place she would like?
Chris- Yeah…like Jesse and Amy’s date to Arthur On Ice.
Frankie- More like a third grade field trip.
Jesse- Watch it…I was thinking of making you guys those plastic gorillas…but you’re really pushing it…
Greg- Go…uh…to a game.
Matt- What game? Oh…how about the Yankees…no, we’ve already gone…
Chris- You could go to a hair salon.
Matt- Gee thanks I think I’ll pass.
Jesse- Or maybe you should go to Chuck E. Cheese.
Frankie- Are you serious?
Jesse- (shrugs) Just a thought.
Matt- Hmm…
Frankie- My date will be great. I have everything all planned out.
Greg- And what is your plan?
Frankie- I pick her up at 5-
Chris- You mean take two small steps across the hallway.
Frankie- Right.
Chris- Right.
Frankie- Then we come back here.
There is a pause…as the other guys wait for more.
Jesse- And…?
Frankie- And that’s it.
Jesse- I don’t get it…
Matt- Just consider him a genius, Jesse. Wait…that’s it! The hotel room!
Frankie- Uh…I called it.
Matt- Noooooo….their hotel room! It’s perfect! That’s where we’ll go!
Chris- Ok…that’s like calling a girl and being like “Oh, I am going to take you out on a date” and she goes “where?” , and you say “oh, your house”…
Greg- I have to admit, Matt, that’s pretty smart thinking. Just…in a dumb sort of way…
Jesse- What are your plans, Greg?
Greg- Well, since Melissa already loves me, we’ll probably just chill at the mall or something.
Jesse- The one with Fuzziwig’s Candy Factory?
The four older ones ignore him.
Frankie- So…what are the plans for your fan dates?
Chris- Christina and I are going to some art show…(he makes a face)
Jesse- Ming and I are going to some ‘Chinese Interpretive Dancing’ class…
Matt- Pollyanna is taking me to some cattle herding show…
Greg- Well…Nelda and I were going to go to Friday’s- food, whaddaya know- but we decided against it because apparently, the manager was mad cause when she took off for the bathroom, some pictures fell off the wall or something…
Frankie- Well, Osama and I are going to a vegetarian restaurant and then to some “Save the Whales” fundraiser…
Matt- How nice…

***

Later that evening, in the girls’ room…
Meagan and Anna are sitting on the floor in front of the TV, watching the Yankees game. Amy is showing Melissa her newest issue of “Cheerleading: A Sport”. Tory sits in her bathrobe in the corner chair, cucumbers on her eyes and an avocado mask on her face.
Anna- Yes! Go Shane!
The two girls slap hands.
Tory- What happened?
Meagan turns to look at Tory in shock, since it is so obvious that Shane has got a hit.
Meagan- Oh yeah…you’re blind…
Amy- See here, Melissa? That’s Cheerleader Chelsea. She knows all the right moves.
Melissa- (making a face) Mm hmm…
Meagan- So what does ‘Cheerleader Chelsea’ have that you don’t? An I.Q. point or two?
Amy- Um…huh? No…anyway, Cheerleader Chelsea is like the Derek Jeter of cheerleading.
Meagan turns, smiling.
Anna- Amy, you can’t have a sports icon be the equal of a non-sport icon.
Amy frowns, tilting her head to the side.
Tory- I don’t really care what is a sport and what’s not a sport.
Melissa- That’s because you’ve never played one.
Tory- And I don’t intend to.
Amy- Tory, you should join cheerleading. We could use you on the squad.
Tory- Gee Amy, thanks, but I’d rather jump in a puddle of mud.
A pout forms on Amy’s face.
Meagan- I can’t wait till tomorrow night. Brody and I are going to Central Park to catch up on old times.
Tory- Old times?
Meagan- Yeah…we were next door neighbors growing up. Me, him, my brother, and his friends used to play tackle football everyday after school.
Tory- I see, childish games…when did that stop?
Meagan- Uh…last year.
The four others snicker.
Anna- Beau and I are going to an arcade…we always used to play video games…he’d win me those stuffed animals.
Melissa- Oh yeah…I remember one time I touched one of your dumb stuffed hippos and the thing exploded and beans went everywhere and you got all mad…
Tory- Those stuffed animals are so cheaply made. I’d never touch one.
Anna- Guys, shut up.
Tory- Winston and I are meeting some of our camp friends at a restaurant to talk about all our camp memories and look at pictures…(She sighs)
Melissa- Glad I won’t be there.
Amy- Right, you’ll be with ME!
Melissa- Lord help me…