Welcome to this most recent edition of the Bigoter! Since that last time we published we have been Very busy pursuing the interests of this community against the CRACKPOT LOONIE-LEFTIES and WORK-SHY SOCIALISTS who seem determined to ruin our way of life! Recent protests on Queen's Road perpetrated seemingly by STUDENTS with nothing better to do with their time have, in this humble reporters opinion, demonstrated that their ideas about so-called global capitalism seem to have come from the back of a cornflake packet! If they like communism so much. why don't they go and LIVE in Russia. Not likely!!

The simple fact is that although these ideas look good on paper, they simply do not work in reality. Perhaps if these sandal-wearing idealists had REAL jobs in the REAL world then maybe they might start to see the 'politically correct' principles they acquire from their 'degree courses' in a different light!! We at the Bigoter believe it is not only our right but our duty to keep the tax-paying public informed about these kind of events, that threaten to infest our community with this kind of namby-pamby 'eurotalk'. Mr Chirac, frog off!!

THE GOOD OLD DAYS

In this edition. Major Colostomy continues his frank, revealing, if somewhat confused series about his experiences of post-war Clarendon Park, and how today's generation can learn from the past.

Episode 6 - Keeping the Hun at bay.

Recent coverage in the media about converting our system of weights and measures to placate these faceless non-elected Eurocrats brought back a whole host of memories for me about the last time this happened in Britain. I refer of course to the decimalisation of our monetary system in the late 1960's. I can see many parallels between these more recent changes with what occurred back then. I feel the important thing to remember is that despite the obvious advantages of the newer systems in terms of convenience, ease of use and standardisation across the globe, this system was designed and implicated by foreigners! My goodness, have we forgotten the events of 1939? The Europeans are simply not to be trusted, for reasons I will now expand on in disturbing depth.

The Germans: A devious and secretive race obsessed with conquering the globe through one way or another. What they failed to do by force in 1939 they now try to do again by plying our country with unnecessary and confusing Eurobabble. Truly the most dangerous nation in Euroland.

The French: One would think after we pulled their little frog's legs out of the fire not once but TWICE when the Hun were on the march, there would perhaps be some debt of gratitude from the garlic-munchers. But, as we have seen so many times, the French are a spineless race of work shy layabouts! Instead of recognising the obvious authority of the Queen in these matters, the French seem to prefer to hold up our truckers, impound good English beef. and set fire to our sheep! Give me a roast beef sandwich over a 'croissant' any day of the week. The Italians: The eye-tay's seem to have about as much decisiveness about their policies regarding currency as they did about their allegiances during the WWII. One minute they'll be backing the crown, the next stabbing us in the back as they scuttle off to Berlin to cower behind the Fuhrer! If one needed any further assurances about their staggering incompetence, simply take a look at their standards of construction! Does PISA ring any bells??? The Swiss: Where were they when hordes of Jerries were swarming out of the Fatherland? At the front line with the brave boys of Blighty? Fighting on the beaches perhaps, losing life. and likely limb to Bosch propelled weaponry? Or in Whitehall, putting their efforts alongside that of Churchill and Kitchener as they spent day and night dreaming up new plans to defend our shores against the sausage-eaters? NONE of the above!! The Swiss were, as they always are, cowering in their lofty snow-covered palaces in the Alps, eating chocolate and making cuckoo clocks! Even when their OWN borders were threatened by the squareheads, the Swiss STILL relied upon the might of English steel to push back Hitler and his cronies.

I think that these examples alone would be sufficient to convince any right-thinking person about the sheer folly of submitting any more of our way of life to Euro influences. It would be a black day indeed if the British housewife were ever to come back from her weekly shopping trips with 1/2 kilo of this and 200 grams of that. Blacker still if these goods had been priced in 'Euros'. Remember - although we can't see it at the momennt, these schemes WILL have some ulterior motive! Once we let them in, we'll be drinking their foul black coffee for breakfast and eating genetically engineered snails for lunch! God save the Queen!