This story is written in the style of Marvel Comics' "What If" ... in other words, it is an alternate universe to my regular stories (which are an alternate universe to the Sailor Moon Canon, but that's another story ...(no pun intended)) What went differently in this universe should become pretty clear in the first few minutes of the story.
by Chris Davies
Episode 101: "I'll Remember The Love That You Gave Me."
She woke up, gasping for air, trying desperately to banish the images from her mind: standing in a circle of light, surrounded by four unknown, utterly familiar girls, feeling her vital energy surge forth from her body ... then collapsing. Dying. Alone.
Serena, the quiet voice of her common sense murmured, if seven years of psychotherapy aren't going to get rid of that nightmare, why do you think hyperventilation will suddenly banish it?
Serena told her common sense to get bent, but gradually slowed her breathing down to normal levels anyway. The sun had not yet come up, and a glimpse at her alarm clock confirmed that it was nearly half past four in the morning. Gee, she thought, five and a half hours of sleep ... I think that's some kind of a record for me! Mom would be thrilled!
She rose up from her futon, padded barefoot into her apartment's kitchenette, and poured herself a glass of orange juice. As she slowly sipped it, Serena struggled to find a positive side to this situation.
"Well, I get to watch a sunrise ... and hey, I have six and a half hours to get ready for my interview! Wow, this early riser stuff has its advantages after all ..."
The sun was slowly starting to slip over the horizon as she stared out the window, resting her chin on the windowsill. As always, when given time to think and reflect, her thoughts turned to the nightmare. She had known those girls, somehow ... some of them looked something like girls who'd gone to the Crossroads Junior High with her, but she hadn't known those girls very well. Just a few conversations, really. She had been very good friends with the girls in her dream ... nightmare. You don't die in dreams.
A faint noise caused her to look to the side, and she saw a small, lean black cat perched on the fire escape. The cat seemed to be staring at her, almost. What an odd kitty ... where had she gotten that crescent shaped scar?
Serena decided to try to make friends with the cat. "Hey, little lady, would you like some milk?"
The cat looked almost surprised at the offer, and seemed to be bracing to jump to Serena's window ... then changed her mind, and dashed off in the opposite direction.
Oh well. Can't win 'em all. Serena smiled, refusing to let her loneliness get her down, and went to brush her hair.
* * *
The black cat descended down the fire escape to where a white cat with a similar "scar" was crouched, waiting.
"Well?"
"Another nightmare, that's all. I went to check on her, and she was all right."
Dryly. "Another nightmare. Gee, I would never have guessed ..."
"Don't start, Artemis."
"We should tell her. We should have told all of them, a long time ago."
"We didn't, though, and we're not going to."
"She's been having the same nightmare for the last seven years, Luna. The memories are so close to the surface that it would only take a single lick of a mind touch ..."
"No."
A long silence ensued.
"You're cruel, to inflict nightmares like that on her."
"Not really. I have the same one, every time she does ..."
* * *
Serena stepped out of the elevator, and nervously scanned the crowded newsroom. Ah, there it was ... a door with the name Molly Osaka, Editorial Department Chief. She walked quickly across down to the door, and knocked once.
"Come in!" Molly's familiar, strangely accented voice sang out.
"Um, is this the office of the editor who's looking for an editorial cartoonist?"
"SEH-REEENA! Oh, boy, it is so grrr-eat to see you again! C'mere!"
With a minimum of happy tears, the two old friends embraced. It had been nearly three years since Serena had last seen Molly, at her wedding to Melvin, and they had only had a few phone calls in all that time ... until Serena had seen the ad in the Tokyo Globe, announcing that the Globe's old editorial cartoonist was retiring. She'd called to set up an interview, and received the shock of her life to hear from Molly.
"Have a chair, this won't take a minute." Molly sat behind her large desk, and gestured for Serena to sit in one of the two chairs in front.
Molly picked up the portfolio of sketches that Serena had mailed to the Globe. "I've looked at your work ... it's GORGEOUS, Serena, GORGEOUS. I knew from the first moment I laid eyes on it that you were the perfect cartoonist for the Globe."
"Thank you ..." Serena said, blushing.
"All that doodling you did in High School really paid off, I guess ..." Molly went on, and Serena couldn't help but notice that her smile was just a bit colder, her tone a little harsher. "I bet you'da been a big hit at University!"
"Uh ..."
"But ... that's just how things go, you know? And I guess you're good enough to get by without a college education. Right?"
"Molly, is this leading up to something?"
"Oh ... yeah. Let me make this completely clear, Serena. I busted my ass to even get the Editor-in-Chief to give you a second thought. If you screw up ONCE, you're out the door faster than you can say, "Minky Momo". NO FOOLING AROUND. Get me?"
"Molly ..." Serena gasped.
"Nuh-uh. I watched you through elementary, junior high, and high school. I know exactly what sort of a person you are. You are lazy, irresponsible, and unreliable. You blew every opportunity that you were ever offered. This is IT, Serena. This is the last chance anyone is ever going to give you."
Serena stared at her ... friend? Molly's eyes were hard as agates, and her mouth was set in a rigid line.
"I won't screw up," Serena said quietly.
"Good." Molly was smiling again. "You gotta come out to dinner with me an' Melvin tonight! Celebrate good times!"
"Maybe some other time, Molly ... I've got a date tonight ..." Serena lied.
"Oh, bring him -- it IS a HIM, right? -- along!"
"Molly! That's not funny! And no, I think I'm gonna want to be alone -- with him -- tonight!"
"Okay, some other time. No problem! We want your first cartoon tomorrow afternoon, okay? For the evening edition."
"Okay ... well, I guess I'd better get going! It's been nice seeing you again, Molly. Say hi to Melvin for me!" "Oh, yeah, he told me to say Hi to you. So'd Chibi-Usa!"
Serena stopped in the doorway. "Chibi-Usa?"
"We gave our daughter your middle name, Usagi. We call her Chibi-Usa 'cause it's kawaii! Want a picture?"
"Uh, thanks." Serena stared at the picture of a one and a half year old baby, with reddish-blond hair and Melvin's dark eyes. Kawaii.
"I guess I'll probably give my daughter your middle name, Naru ... when I get around to having kids," Serena said.
"Oh, that'll be good!" Molly enthused. "Now, I reallllly gotta get back to work, Serena ... see you later!"
Serena walked out of the office, and made it into the elevator, before she finally gave vent to the anger she was feeling. That lousy, stuck-up, stinking, stupid, conceited ... COLLEGE GRADUATE! she thought, furiously. Who does Molly think she is, anyway?! What kind of way is that to treat a friend?!
The answer, which sucked away all the anger and just left an empty ache, was obvious ... the sort of friend who was now an employer, on whom one's actions reflected.
But still ...
As she stepped out of the elevator onto the ground floor, Serena continued to stew over what had just happened. She needed this job. Her efforts to sell her own manga had come to naught, and the makers of the Sailor V manga hadn't even bothered to answer her letters ...
Serena crumpled the picture of Chibi-Usa up in her hand, and tossed it over her shoulder in anger.
A "bonking" noise resulted. "Ow!"
Great ... Serena sighed, and turned around to apologize to whoever she'd hit ... and her jaw refused to move.
"Aw ... not YOU again," Darien Chiba groaned. "Can't you throw anything without hitting me on the noggin, Meatball Head?"
"I can't help it ... your head must be magnetic to things I throw!" Serena snapped, and turned to leave.
"So, I hear you're starting as the new editorial cartoonist here tomorrow!" Darien called after her.
"Yes! I am."
"Too bad. So much for the quality of the editorial page ..."
"What are YOU doing here?"
"I guess you don't read the Globe," Darien said smugly. "Although it was a stretch to imagine you reading, period. But you must not be familiar with my regular column in the Entertainment section."
"Oh yeah ... now I remember ... you're the one who reviews all the hentai anime, right?"
"I don't review JUST lemon flicks, thank you very much!"
Suddenly, it occurred to both parties that their argument had attracted an audience, who were busily watching from the sidelines. With a final gasp of exasperation, Serena and Darien went their separate ways.
"Love?" one of the onlookers asked.
"Anything BUT," his associate replied.
* * *
She ordered Okonomiyaki in for dinner ... alone. She started work on her first cartoon, having gotten an idea to offer a somewhat scathing comment on the quality of commercially produced Okonomiyaki. Eventually, after a few false starts, she decided to call it a day.
So she went to bed.
The two cats crouched on her windowsill, which she had foolishly left open. They argued, softly.
"She deserves to know the truth, Luna."
"Quite probably, but I'm not going to tell her."
"I'm going to have to insist! It isn't FAIR, Luna."
"Life's not fair, Artemis. It never has been."
"All right. You don't want to restore Serena's memories, fine, great, whatever. But WHY can't we track down and give Mina back her memories?"
"Because Mina is capable of taking care of herself ..."
"Says you! I lost track of the number of times I had to help her out LONG before I decided to bring our two groups together ... hell, that was one of the major reasons for the merger! I needed your help! Not that I ever GOT much ..."
"Artemis, don't be petty. We don't know where Mina is, we don't know where Lita, Raye, or Amy are. We DO know where Serena is, and this is where we're staying."
"NO."
"What?"
"I can't DO this anymore, Luna. I can't stand lurking in the shadows of her life. Either you restore her memories, or I swear that I'm leaving."
"No, Artemis, and don't bother trying to bluff ..."
The white cat stood up, smacked the black cat across the face with one of his paws, and leapt to the fire escape, heading down the stairs at maximum speed.
"I don't bluff," the voice came up to the stunned black cat.
After a few moments, the black cat recovered, and her features twisted into an expression of anger. "FINE!" she yelled. "Who needs you! I took care of her for months before you EVER showed up, and I did it without the help of bloody Central Control! Screw you, Artemis!"
Serena slept through the argument, through the sudden spasm of tears that shook through the black cat at the end of her diatribe. She was busy in her nightmare.
* * *
Grocery shopping is one of the most boring, pointless exercises known to humanity, Serena grumbled to herself as she walked through the produce department. Half the time, the food she bought here went to waste as she put it in the fridge, ate out, and forgot about her fruits, vegetables, and meats.
Suddenly, Serena noticed something very strange happening a few aisles over. There was a weird, blue light pulsing over there, and an occasional hissing noise.
What on Earth?
Serena slowly made her way to where the light was coming from, and peeked down the aisle.
The creature ... the YOUMA (where did that word come from?) was over seven feet tall, had two arms as long as Serena was tall, and huge red eyes. All along the aisle there were people slumped to the ground, giving out sudden moaning noises when the blue light that emanated from the youma (why was that term so appropriate?) pulsed.
Serena could see, in the distance, the store's handful of security guards slumped to the ground. It seemed that the store had somehow been evacuated without her realization ... she'd probably been too busy reading her shopping list ...
WHY IN HEAVEN'S NAME AM I SO CALM? There is a MONSTER not twenty feet from me! A part of Serena's brain was screaming at the rest of her to start running, AT ONCE, for the doors ...
And then the youma saw her, and she knew that it was too late to run. It began moving towards her, slowly. It could tell, somehow, that she was too paralyzed with fear to do anything ...
* * *
Oh, no.
The worst case scenario that Luna had been dreading all these years had finally come to pass. She'd studiously avoided asking herself what she'd do if Serena were ever endangered by a menace from the Negaverse ... but now it was happening, and the stupid, stupid girl hadn't had the sense to run!
What was she going to do?
And the answer was on her instantly.
* * *
"SEREEEEENA!" the voice, a mature woman's voice called out from not too far away.
Serena slowly swung her head around to stare at the black cat that had been staring at her two nights ago ... and realized that the cat had spoken to her.
Before she could express her disbelief in this event, the cat bellowed a single word, as her eyes glowed.
"REMEMBER."
And she did.
Princess of the Moon Kingdom. Loved, respected, honored. Dying in fear and misery. Being reborn. Student. Always running from any sort of responsibility. Awakening. Fighting. Growing. Loving. Losing. Watching her best friends in all the world die in horrible ways. Standing alone. But not alone. Releasing her final, devastating attack. Dying. Wishing. Reborn. Never knowing the truth.
Until now.
"MOON."
The monster's slow pace had halted as it stared at the sudden change in its incipient victim's manner.
"PRISM."
The victim seemed angry, but not frightened anymore. What could possibly have changed?
"POWER!"
And with a flash of radiant light, the monster knew, entirely too late, what was going to happen.
The young girl's body dissolved into the light, and the light began to solidify into another form. First the clothes -- armor over the vital anatomy, and weapons. Then the physique -- somewhat more powerful than it had been seconds ago. And through it all, the eyes remained constant. Eyes that were filled with anger, and pain, and frustration.
And at last, the transformation was done.
"I am the hacked-off fighter for love and justice, SAILOR MOON! On behalf of the moon, I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! And yes, you bloody git, THAT MEANS YOU!"
Circle kick to the creature's head knocked it off balance. Another blow to the creature's groin sent it slamming to the floor.
"MOON! TIARA! MAGIC!"
And that, as they say, was that.
Luna slowly poked her head around the corner. Sailor Moon was standing over the small pile of dust that the youma had left behind.
"Ser ... Sailor Moon?" the black cat asked cautiously.
"Not here, Luna. We can't talk here. Let's go back to my place." Serena's voice was low, and flat.
* * *
"How could you do this to me?" Serena asked, her voice now filled with pain.
"It was the only way I could save your life ... I'm sorry that I gave you those memories back ..."
"I'm not TALKING about THAT! I'm talking about keeping my memories a secret from me for SEVEN YEARS."
"I was trying to protect you!"
"Oh, you did a wonderful job of that! You protected me from the memories of the dearest friends I ever had, so that I never knew them! You protected me from the memories of the greatest accomplishments of my life! You PROTECTED me from the memories of the man I LOVED! Dammit, Luna!"
"You don't understand!" Luna cried out.
"WHAT? What do I not understand?!"
"I wasn't just protecting you ... I was ..." The cat was crying now, not the tears of frustration she'd cried so often in dealing with Serena, but tears of grief. "I was protecting MYSELF! You DIED, Serena, and I FELT YOU DIE!"
A long silence, broken only by Luna's sobs ensued.
"I ... couldn't bear to have you be hurt like that, Serena. I was terrified that you'd get killed again if I let you have your memories back ... and I didn't want you to die ..."
"Luna ..." Serena began.
"No! Now you hear me out, Serena Usagi Tsukino! When you died, your last wish was that you would have the chance to have a normal life, unhindered by magic! I was trying to act in accordance with your wishes!"
"Did it occur to you ... ever ... to ask me if my wishes had changed?"
"No. It didn't."
"Well, they have. I don't want to be normal anymore, Luna. I've had my fill of normality, mundanity, whatever you want to call it these last seven years. I want to be special, now."
"All right ... well, you've got your chance ..."
"And I want you to give Darien HIS memories back, too."
"All right."
"And then I never want to see you again as long as I live."
The woman and the cat stared at each other for a very long moment. Finally, Luna closed her eyes, and sighed. "All right."
She hopped down from her seat on Serena's bed, and headed out the window. Luna paused, before she went out the window. "I did it because I love you, Serena."
"People don't keep secrets from people they love."
"Even when the truth will hurt?"
And the cat was gone before Serena could reply to her question.
* * *
She walked into the newspaper office with an unaccustomed confidence, carrying her portfolio under her arm. She strode to Molly's office, and didn't bother to wait for Molly to reply to her knock before entering.
"Good morning!"
"Hey, Serena! What do you have for me?"
Serena produced her cartoon. It was a masterpiece of satire, comparing the government's protectionist trade policies to the slownness of an Okonomiyaki delivery boy.
"Wow! This is great! We'll run it in the evening edition!"
"You really think it's good?"
"Yes, absolutely great!"
"You know, the editorial department at the Tokyo Chronicle said the exact same thing."
"HUH?"
"And they're willing to pay me much more than the Globe ..."
"Serena!"
"And their managing editor didn't threaten to fire me if I screwed up in the slightest."
Dead silence.
"Of course, I said I'd have to think about their VERY generous offer ... and I'm always in the market for a better deal."
Molly's eyes were bulging out of their sockets. Serena almost felt sorry for her.
Then Molly sank down into her chair, all the anger seeming to bleed out of her. "Would it help if I said I'm sorry?"
Serena smiled. "Well ... the Chronicle never offered me an apology ... so that IS a good place to start our negotiations."
Molly let out a long, deep sigh, and her face seemed to be that of a woman who was much older than her twenty-one years. "Look ... Serena ... you don't know what it's like, being your friend. Everyone, all the way through high school, was always asking me why I hung around with a slacker like you. Eventually, I started wondering myself. You had all that potential, and you let it go to waste. Why?"
"I didn't have any drive, Molly," Serena said, quietly. "I didn't want anything badly enough to give it everything I had, back then. And if everyone was asking you why you were hanging out with a slacker like me, then everyone was telling me that I was JUST a slacker."
"So, we're both screwed up."
"Yep."
A long pause ensued.
"Are you really gonna go work for the Chronicle?"
"Do I have a job here?"
"If you want it."
"Do I have a FRIEND here?"
Molly smiled. "If you want her ..."
"Then, nah, who needs the Chronicle? What are you and Melvin doing this weekend? I'd like to come over and meet my namesake!"
"Why not tonight?"
Serena smiled, a dangerous smile. "Tonight, I'm gonna be VERRRRRY busy ..."
* * *
She walked out of the office ... no, to be perfectly honest, she strutted out of the office. She'd patched things over with Molly, and now for Darien. Her Prince. The man she'd loved, without realizing it, for nearly seven years.
Marching across the newsroom to where he was seated at his desk, she noticed that he was engrossed in a telephone call. She waited for several minutes, while he (coyly, she guessed) pretended not to notice her. Finally, she'd had enough.
"Ahem. Darien?" He shot her a look of aggravation. "What, Meatball Head? Can't you see that I'm busy on the phone?"
His words, his tone, and his look stunned Serena to her core. He ... he didn't remember her. Why hadn't Luna given him his memories back? It wasn't FAIR!
No, Serena thought suddenly. I will not break down into tears over this. "You know, Darien, for someone who can't remember a hell of a lot about his past, you're awfully nasty to people who are a part of your past that you CAN remember." And then she turned and walked away.
Behind her, she could hear him make a startled exclamation, then tell whoever he was talking to on the phone that something had come up, and he'd call back later. Then he was up, and chasing after her. "Hey, Meatball Head, wait up."
She didn't stop, didn't even slow down. If anything, she increased her pace, heading swiftly for the elevator. Just before she was about to step into the open doors, she heard him call out, "Serena!"
She paused, holding her ground for a few moments. Then she turned around, and stared pointedly at him. "It certainly took you long enough to remember my real name."
"I ... how did you know about my past?"
"Andrew told me, once," she lied. He'd told her himself, but that wasn't part of his memories.
"Oh. I ... I'm sorry about Andrew. I know that you liked him."
Andrew had died in a terrorist bombing a few years ago, while visiting his girlfriend in Africa. At the time, Serena had wept a few tears for him, but she'd been over him for a while before that ...
"Yeah. I did. Is there something else?"
Darien paused. "Yeah. I'm sorry I kept calling you Meatball Head ... it's nasty, and I try to avoid being nasty when I don't have to be."
"Okay. I accept your apology. Maybe we can go out for coffee sometime?"
"Maybe," Darien said, noncommitally.
"Great." Serena stepped out of the way of the elevator door. It closed, and she started heading down.
That's when it got to her, and she started to quietly cry. It wasn't fair! She'd driven away the only friend she had who was aware of her secret life, and Darien still didn't know that he was supposed to be in love with her!
"I ... I tried, Serena."
The quiet voice came from the ceiling of the elevator. Serena looked up, and saw that Luna was peeking out from a hole in the roof.
"I tried to make him remember everything ... but it's like he didn't ever go through it in the first place. There was nothing there to work with ... I'm sorry."
"It ... it's okay, Luna," Serena muttered, trying to hold back her tears.
"I won't trouble you much longer ... I'll just ride the elevator down with you, and then I'll go away."
"No," Serena whispered. "I beg your pardon?"
"I said ... No. I don't want you to go away. I want you to stay with me, Luna. Please?"
"Why? I thought you hated me?"
"I was angry with you ... but I said something to Darien just a while ago that I could have said to myself ... for a guy who couldn't remember a lot of his past, he was mean to people he could remember. You're part of my life that I do still have with me ... so will you please stay?"
There was a long silence. "You've grown up, Serena."
"I kind of had to ..."
"I remember that I was beginning to despair, before you went into the Negaverse, that you ever would ... may I say that I'm very impressed with the results?"
Luna dropped down into Serena's arms, and they walked out of the elevator, looking for all the world like a young woman with her cat. Which is, after all, what they were.
The End
(for now)
Sailor Moon was created by Naoko Takeuchi and brought to North America by DIC. The preceding story, while incorporating aspects of this motion picture which are held under copyright by others, is copyright 1996 by Chris Davies.
Nobody Sue Me Okay?
Serena & Luna Episode 101, 11/01/96