WE SHOULD LEARN BY THEIR EXAMPLE HOW NOT TO LIVE OUR LIVES.
Die Speed Racer Die!: Four more young people are dead! Why? Because the dumbass behind the wheel made the stupid choice to speed (supposedly he was racing with another car), and ended up plowing into two innocent people who were just on their way to pick up a pizza! What the fuck is that!?! I really feel for the two innocent victims (who luckily survived), and also for the three passengers in the speeding car who died. As for the dumb fuck who was driving the speeding car...FUCK YOU! The choice you made killed three of your friends, almost killed two innocent people, and could have killed more! Now you have all eternity to pay for your mistake you stupid fucking asshole! As for the other dude in the other car (who was allegedly racing with the car that crashed), I honestly hope you're telling the truth. If not, FUCK YOU TOO! If you're partly responsible for this, you deserve to be crucified as well.
Aloha Spirit?: At the recent Hawaii-Alabama football game, everyone was all jacked up about the game being shown on national television. Everyone was excited to show the nation what a great football team we have, what a great state Hawaii is, and how awesome the "aloha spirit" is. So, how did the Hawaii fans promote our beloved state? They did it by booing their own team because they weren't playing well!! What the fuck is up with that!?! Some "fans" (yeah right!) defended their actions by saying: "Oh, we weren't booing the quarterback because he wasn't playing well, we were booing the coach's decision to keep the quarterback in the game." Hello? Isn't that the same thing as booing the quarterback? You STUPID fucks! To all you dumbass couch potato quarterbacks and coaches, why don't we suit your sorry asses up, put YOU in the game, and see if YOU can play better. What's that? No, you won't do it? That's what I thought. You guys should just SHUT THE FUCK UP! Stay at home next time. True fans support their teams whether they win or lose. True fans are what you guys are NOT!
But I'm a Diva!: Okay, I admit it. I watch American Idol. I really enjoy seeing the great talent, but what I enjoy most is watching Simon put all those STUPID bitchy/cocky fucks in their place! We need more people like Simon in high places. Although Simon's not American, he symbolizes what makes America great.
I Just Can't Go On!: This one is actually sad but also STUPID. Some unstable French Chef dude blew his brains out because his restaurant rating dropped by one star. Whoa! Now that's devastating! Hello? Why not just try to make your restaurant better you selfish STUPID fuck!?! Yup, that was a really big help to your family, friends, employees, and customers who could care less about the rating, and would have still supported you. YOU LEFT THEM ALL HANGING!! What's even more STUPID is that a bunch of this dude's peers are crying out against the restaurant critics saying that they drove the unstable dumbass to do this. I really don't mean to offend the masses, but you ignorant-cocky-ass-French-fucks really give your people a bad rap. Why don't you STUPID pussy fucks go do something useful like going to Iraq to take a stand as human shields? We'll make sure our troops bring extra bullets for you.
Human Shields: I'm sure you've all heard about this one by now. There's this group of STUPID fuckers who have decided to go to Iraq, to become human shields in protest of the potential war that's coming. One idiot they showed on the news sold his part-ownership in a music store, packed up his shit, and moved to Bagdhad, and is living in some kind of storage room. They say they are doing it to help save the innocent Iraqi people. Honestly, I really admire the fact that they have the balls to make such a stand for a cause they believe in...but I still think it's fucking STUPID! Sure, many of the Iraqi people deserve a better way of life, but why don't you hippyfucks put your efforts into helping the millions of needy people right here in your own fucking country!?! I know one guaranteed way to prevent this whole war from happening. Mr. Bush should just order the troops to shoot you human shield fucks first to show Sadass Hussein that he means business. Then both him and that freaky N. Korean fucker would run screaming like a little girl into oblivion.
Living Heart Donors: This one really pissed me off, and still leaves me very disturbed. I just found out recently that one of our supervisors has put in her resignation due to potentially serious health problems. Whether this is true or false is not the point. Personally, I'll take it as being true because that is what she told us, and it is not my place to question her. Now I'll be the first to agree that her people skills are lacking in many areas, as was her ability to fulfill her job responsibilities, and she did make some really shitty and downright STUPID decisions. However, given the fact that she is resigning for health reasons, I believe that the right thing to do is say "fuck all that shit", and instead, pray for her health and well-being, and wish her all the best in life. Okay, I've voiced my opinion, and will stand by it. What I found really disturbing was the fact that some of my coworkers were making jokes about it and celebrating immediately after she gave us the news, and had left for the day. How fucking STUPID AND HEARTLESS is that!?! How can they look themselves in the mirror, and justify their behavior? What's worse is that these people are the very ones who are always so proud about their fucking religious devotion and strength. BULLSHIT! How can could you have accepted Jesus into your hearts when it seems like you don't have hearts? If people like you are going to Heaven, then please send me a post card in Hell...because I think I'd rather be there.
My Parking Space: I'm sure many people know what a pain in the ass it is to find parking when they go to work everyday. And I'm sure that everyone who doesn't have this burden are sincerely grateful...NOT! Some people I know have the most ridiculous and childish outlook on this matter. The organization I work for shares a parking lot with a couple of other agencies. There are more than enough spaces (none of which are marked or reserved, but all are nearby) for everyone to park in. It's first come, first served. Some people, however, feel that just because they've been parking in the same space for many years; means that it's their personal parking space. They'll ask people to move their cars, and even resort to childish antics such as sticking notes on the windshields of all those "inconsiderate" people who have the audacity to steal "their" parking space. They'll even go so far as to reserve "their" space by putting things like buckets and potted plants in the middle to prevent other people from stealing "their" parking space. FUCKING STUPID!
No Fear or No Brains?: I just saw the story of this dumbass on the local news. The dude was spear fishing off Yokohama Bay, and literally came face to face with a Great White shark approximately 15' to 17' long (so he says). He was lucky, though, as the shark dove downward, and swam off on its way allowing him to make it safely back to his kayak. They interviewed this guy on camera, where he said his adrenaline was pumping, but that after he calmed down, he went back into the water. BACK INTO THE WATER!?! WHERE THE 15' GREAT WHITE SHARK IS!?! YOU STUPID IDIOT!! I can understand your desire to overcome your fear, but couldn't you have done that another day, and instead paddled your almost-shark-food-lily-white ass safely back to shore? I'm truly happy that you lived to tell your tale, but must also point out the fact that your act of what you consider courage and bravery is a prime example of what we mean when we say..."DUMB HAOLE!"
Tragedy Through Stupidity: Dead at 18 years old...all for the sake of seeing who's car was faster. What a waste of life. I really feel for this kid, and for all his family and friends. Hopefully (but highly unlikely), all you dumbass racer boys (and girls) who think racing on public streets is cool will wake up, because the next one to die might be YOU! You might even take a few of us with you, and that ,YOU FUCKING IDIOTS, is UNACCEPTABLE!
Toxic Copycats: Did you hear the news about the recent mercury exposure in the Aiea/Halawa area? It was big news here in the Isles. That's why you also heard about another mercury spill in Waianae a few days later. And...I'll use my psychic powers here...you'll probably here about another one somewhere else in a few days. I can just envision all these idiot kids stealing the family thermometer, going out to some public area to break the thermometer; and spill the mercury so that they can see it on the news and say to their friends: "Hey look! I was the guy with nothing better to do who did that! Aren't I cool?" Hopefully, their friends will say, "No, you're just STUPID!"
Copycats: These are those dumbasses that follow in the footsteps of other sickos' wrongdoings because they want "attention." STUPID fucks! I really and truly feel for those who have lost loved ones in tragedies such as all these school and workplace shootings that have been going on. However, isn't it obvious that the extensive media coverage of all these tragedies plays a significant part in "inspiring" these sick fucks to continue the violent trend? If we are going to give these events extensive media coverage, then what we need is politically incorrect media coverage where the "alleged" perpetrators are publicly humiliated, and portrayed as being totally STUPID! I honestly think this would deter at least some of the copycat idiots from repeating this bullshit! Yes, PUBLIC HUMILIATION is the name of the game.
Sick...of Work: Everyone has at least one coworker like this. You know, the one that regularly calls in sick, and you KNOW that this person isn't sick. Or he just takes every opportunity he can to leave work early regardless of how it affects his coworkers. Basically, he's a self-centered fool who hates his job, thinks his job is beneath him & believes that he deserves better, thinks everyone else is stupid & that he's such an awesome, intelligent dude, believes that having a hangover is a legitimate reason to miss work, and/or just plain doesn't want to be at work because of more important things like watching wrestling, or drinking beer and smoking weed with his buddies. Give me a fucking break! Show some responsibility! There are many people who would rather be doing other things besides working, but come to work anyway because they have their priorities...like paying bills! If the only bills you have to pay are for your beer and weed, you'd better show up for work when you're supposed to you idiot! Also, if you must miss work because you partied to hard the night before, then don't go around bragging about how cool you are because you drink, and smoke weed because it means you really CAN'T handle it. Bottom line: If you don't give a shit about your job, then spare your coworkers the unnecessary hardship by quitting. I sincerely wish for you all the best, and hope that you are a "successful" person...in all aspects of life. Hopefully, good opportunities will come your way soon so that you may truly begin to live a fulfilling life, and stop being so fucking STUPID!!
No More Gore!: Unbelievable! This was the first time I ever voted, and look what happens: recount, appeal, demand another recount, demand for recount rejected, appeal the denial for another recount...and on and on and on. They should just put Bush/Cheney and Gore/Lieberman in the ring, and let them WWF it out. Imagine that...Bush jumping from the top rope to deliver a thunderous elbow smash onto Gore! At least it would be fun to watch. Give it up Mr. Gore and stop being stupid...YOU LOST! But I guess I'm pretty stupid too because I voted for your sorry ass!
USA vs CUBA: Everyone's heard about this by now. It's the "tragic" story about the little Cuban boy who was miraculously rescued from the ocean after the ILLEGAL immigration boat he was on sank while on its way to bring ILLEGAL Cuban refugees to the U.S. The result? An international "tug-of-war" between the USA and Cuba. How is that? What's the problem? The boy is six years old. Send him back to his father! Then, when he becomes an ADULT, he can decide for himself if he wants to climb his ADULT ass on board a fucking Gilligan's Island-doomed-to-sink-raft, and try and row himself over here. If the boat little Elian was on had made it to the U.S. along with the other refugees, I'm sure there would be a lot less sympathy for the kid. My message to the thousands of Cubans crying for little Elian's return: You can have him back! Help him as much as possible to grow up to be a good, responsible person. My message to the U.S.: Send him back to his father, and take care of the millions of kids in America who need just as much help, if not more, than one little boy who's probably better off with his father in the first place.
See You at the Red Light...Dumbass: At first, you see these assholes in your rear view mirror, coming up fast, weaving from lane to lane, trying to get where they are going as fast as they can. Then they fly past you like you're standing still, but the next thing they know...they're stuck at the same red light as you...Doh! Dumbasses!
Stupidity of the Self: I guess it had to happen sooner or later. I must now write about myself on my own "stupid" page. For those who work with me, you already know this story. For those who don't, I'll just give you some advice: Never, never, never try to smash a can of spray paint with a sledgehammer. But if, for some God-forsaken reason you do attempt this, washing with orange pumice hand-cleaner will get your face and hair squeaky clean. Yup, I felt pretty damn after that.
Damn Slobs: Don't get me wrong, I like my co-workers, but many of them are fucking SLOBS! They leave their half-empty cans of soda, or their half-eaten articles of food on the tables. Hello!?! What, do they think someone else is going to finish it for them? Fucking The damn trash can is five feet away, but NO...they have to leave their candy bar wrappers, crumbs, and whatever else they fucking consume all over the place...everywhere except where it's supposed to be...THE TRASH CAN!
More NBA Idiocy: I heard that during the earlier part of the lockout, some fool NBA player tried to organize a charity exhibition game for the NBA players "in need." NBA players in need of what!?! Another house? New rope chains? Higher priced hookers? If these guys "need" anything, it's a solid kick in the ass. They want charity? How about a charity carnival with a "Kick-an-NBA-Player-in-the-Ass" booth. The players would be lined up, you pay a quarter, and get to kick them 25 times as hard as you can...50 cents for groin kicks. Hey, I'd be the first guy in line with $30 in quarters, and my steel-toe boots.
NBA (No Brain Assholes): One of those NBA players, Kenny Anderson, was finding life difficult during the lockout. He was quoted as saying he might have to sell one of his eight cars to make ends meet. ONE of his EIGHT cars!?! Get a job you dumbass!
NBA SUCKS: Yet another bunch of cry-babies complaining about not getting enough money. I guess a few million per year is hard to live on these days. Damn inflation! Basketball is my favorite sport, but I say cancel the fucking season...cancel next season too already! Hey, if you guys are having trouble paying your "bills," get together with Judge Aiona...that Zippy's chili is a real good seller.
D.D.S. (DISMEMBERMENT DUE TO ): Every New Year, there are always those few dumbasses that blow off a few fingers or even a hand while trying to make homemade bombs. I don't even have to explain this one. Just picture some fool filling up a metal pipe with gun powder, and then trying to pack it with a hammer...BOOM!! Here's a little word of advice to the future idiots who are brave AND enough to follow in their footsteps: GO FOR IT!! The rest of us really enjoy reading about you in the paper.
THE HARD LIFE: If you've gone to my friend's "Idiot Page," you probably have already read about the hard life of Hawaii's poor Court Judges, and their "low" pay. This issue is so fucking that it deserves more ridicule here. These guys make roughly $80,000 - $90,000 per year, and they're complaining that it's not enough to live on. Not enough!?! What the fuck is up with that!?! Sorry Judge Aiona, I used to think you were a cool dude, but now I think you're just a first class idiot. If you were barely breaking $20,000 per year like me, then the people could understand your complaint, but please don't insult us by complaining about a salary that most people can only dream about. If life for you is really that hard, why don't all you dumbasses get together and start a fundraiser...Zippy's chili? Or you could get the state to pawn all that koa furniture in the courtrooms, and give you guys a raise. Yeah right...okay, I've wasted enough time on your sorry asses.
RUBBERNECKERS: We all know who these idiots are. They're those fucks who have to slow down and look when there's an accident. What do they hope to see? Someone's blood and severed body parts all over the ground? If they're lucky enough, maybe they'll get into their own accident while looking at someone else's. Then they can see all the blood and severed body parts they want...their own!
HOLIDAY SHOPPERS: I used to refer to holiday shoppers as being just like the animals in the zoo. But I just realized that the animals in the zoo are actually well-behaved compared to all the "bargain-bonehead-Xmas-shoppers" (even wild animals have better manners!). People lining up outside toy stores from 8 hours before they open just to buy a fucking talking doll. People jamming into Wal-Mart at midnight to buy cheap SPAM. Word of advice folks: GET A LIFE!! Oh well, I guess we need this kind of in the world. It gives the rest of us something to laugh at. One more thing: I would like to sincerely apologize to all the animals of the world for comparing you to that of the worst "animal" of all...the [human] holiday shopper.
SOCCER FANS: These people are real dumbasses! I just recently saw news footage of a soccer player get hit in the head by an open switchblade that one of the fans threw from the stands. I've also seen videos of referees getting chased & beaten up, and riots. What a bunch of fucking idiots!! ...just one of the reasons why I can't stand soccer.
RADICAL PRO-LIFE ACTIVISTS (DIPSHITS): They believe that all babies must be given the chance to live happy lives. And how do they express their beliefs? They gun down people at abortion clinics, or worse, they BLOW UP abortion clinics; killing doctors, nurses, mothers...AND the unborn babies. Hello!?!
LEFT TURN DUMBASSES: Now these guys are really irritating. They'll try and make a left turn out from a business establishment (i.e. gas station, restaurant, etc.) across three lanes of cars stopped at a traffic light...and there's a sign right in front of their face saying: NO LEFT TURN. Could this be an example of assertive driving, or impatience? No, I just think it's
PARKING LOT VULTURES: Parking Lot Vultures are those lazy-ass people who'll circle a half-empty parking lot 5 times so they can find that "perfect" parking space. I guess it's too much of a burden to park a little further away, and walk that extra 30 feet. And sometimes they want YOUR parking space. They'll stalk you with their car and take your space after you leave...even though there were a couple of empty spaces a few cars over!!
BUTT-HEADS: Why do smokers have to throw their cigarette butts out the car window? Hello!?! Isn't that why cars have ashtrays? The worst ones are those that ARROGANTLY flick their cigarettes out onto the sidewalk when the fucking trash can is about five feet away!! I guess it doesn't look "cool" when you courteously put out your cigarette, walk over to the trash can, and toss it in.
SHOPPING: Why do people wait until the cashier is done ringing up their purchases AND THEN they decide to start writing their check? And to make it worse, they are writing a check for only $7.50!! And let's not forget that inevitable question..."What's today's date?"
DISCLAIMER: The word "stupid" is used here in reference to a person's behavior, NOT the person. If you are offended, then you are probably feeling guilty because you do the exact same things I am writing about!
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