I am a loyal fan of Mother Love’s hit TV confessional “Forgive or Forget”.
I enjoy the passion, the pain, the drama, the catharsis, the sincerity,
and the sagas. I do not always agree with Mother Love’s eternal optimism.
Unlike her, I believe that certain betrayals and abuses are indeed beyond
forgiveness. Clearly, the daughters of James Byrd agree with me.
I was deeply moved and extremely proud of the guest appearances of Byrd’s
two beautiful daughters. Children often reflect the best within their parents.
Byrd’s superior fatherhood is evident in the demeanor, class and spirits
of these strong, articulate and defiant young women.
It was a touching letter from a parent of one of Byrd’s murderer’s that
prompted
this special episode. It was a truly beautiful letter full of empathy
and shame. It was an apology penned by an innocent parent of a guilty adult.
Actually, no one can ever really apologize for another adult.
It is for this reason that I am so very proud of Byrd’s daughters. They
resisted
Mother Love’s habitual unconditional and emotionally suicidal urgings.
And, they
respectfully rejected this blind forgiveness of their father’s rabid
slayers.
Unlike those elders in Mother Love’s generation, Byrd’s daughters and
I represent a New Afrikan. We refuse to love those who hate us. We have
found such love to be wounding to the psyche and the soul. We refuse to
sing woeful marching songs. We prefer songs of revolution over anthems
of lament. We will turn no other cheeks. We reserve our entire warrior
bodies for raging global battles of race, gender and class.
Byrd’s daughters were sincerely grateful for the heartfelt letter penned
by a monster’s parent. Yet, they proudly await the slaughter of that same
monster. Their gracious appearance on this show honored their father’s
memory. Their defiant public call for vengeance will honor his legacy.
They have forever illustrated precisely how one can defy the myths of cowards,
by refusing to pretend that masochism is courage, or that racist sadism
can be cured.
There are positive and negative forces inherent in every emotion. Rage
can be fuel for revolution. Hatred is most destructive when it is absorbed,
left to fester without constructive expression. Hatred and rage can heal
spirits when they are directed at those who seek to destroy souls, just
as they lynch corpses.
Beware: It is suicidal to love those who do not love you. Malcolm put
it best (from Malcolm X: Speeches at Harvard by Archie Epps)
: “It is absolutely inhuman for a man to let a dog
bite him and not fight back. Let someone put water hoses on his women,
mother, daughter and babies and not fight back. He is sub-human. The day
he becomes a human being, he will react as other human beings have reacted...Not
a single white person in America would sit idly by and let someone do what
we black men have been letting others do to us. The white person would
not remain passive, peaceful and nonviolent...” As always, I agree
with Malcolm.
I am 35 years old. I am younger than Mother Love and older than the
daughters of James Byrd. I speak for generations who will forever refuse
to embrace our
enemies. We will never pretend to be beyond the nightmare of the American
dream deferred. We are integrated with caution. We are optimistic with
realism. And, we will NEVER forgive the monsters who murdered James Byrd.!!!
I submit this column in the spirit of a kindred and eternal African,
revolutionary,
gay warrior named Claude McKay. The following is his classic poem "If
We Must Die":
If we must die-let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Making their mock at our accursed lot.
If we must die-oh, let us nobly die;
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
Oh, Kinsmen! We must meet the common foe;
Though far outnumbered, let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one deathblow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we will face the murderous, cowardly
pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!