This fellow married a virgin and wanted to go to special pains to make sure her sexual inexperience wasn't to be the cause of any tension or trouble. He explained that he didn't ever want her to feel pressured into having sex with him, but wanted it to come of her own free will. "In fact, darling," he said to her tenderly, "I think we should set up a little system in code to make all this as simple as possible. Here's how it'll work: when you want to have sex, pull on my thing once; when you don't want to have sex, pull on my thing a hundred times."

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge: The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The hands said: "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The stomach said: "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The legs said: "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge." Then the rectum said: "I think I should be in charge." All the rest of the parts said: "YOU?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't do anything! You're not as important as we surely are! You can't be in charge." So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy. They all agreed that they couldn't take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.