April18/98

Great! My first question and it's a good one.

It comes to me from Hawaii and I'll call it:

Paranoid in Paradise

She writes:
Would you recommend giving someone you know over the net your real address...just to swap pictures. I mean I trust that person..but the other half of me is afraid what could happen...just paranoid...what would you recommend?

As I see it!:

The net is a wonderful tool and toy but it is filled with weirdos and wackos. Most of them are harmless, but there are a few who come to the chat rooms or conference rooms with the goal of abusing.
I read a stat in a book,I think it is called the Idiots Guide to Chat, that said that 85% of people in chat rooms are lying, over half of them about their age and sex! I have never lied in the chat rooms about myself, and found that stat boggling to my rational mind. I am a 34 year old male, attached, unemployed bum, and have freely admitted as much to those who cared to know.

Or maybe I'm lying! You see, the point that I'm trying to make is this: you never know and can never know who exactly you're chatting with. Unfortunately there are too many deviants that use the chat rooms to get to their soon to be victims.
I've taken a long time to get to my answer and the reason for this is twofold. One, I would hate to find out that something has happened to one of my new Internet friends. Two, your question can be taken to a broader range: Should I personally meet with someone I meet on the net?

My answer, for the above reasons, is.....NO! You are probably very right to trust your gut feeling of paranoia!
After I've gone and said no, let me backtrack a bit. If you've been talking to this person for a long time, you'll get a pretty good idea of whether he's lying or not. If you have been carrying on for a while, and after this long cyber getting to know each other period and you really want to know him/her, then try a phone call first. Work on phone calls for a while. If he's a real player he's bound to slip up sooner or later in the tale he's feeding you.
If after a very long time you decide to meet with this person, plan to meet him in a public place and during the day. Consider bringing a friend along and when you meet with them.

There, have I scared you enough? Sorry if I have but I call ‘em as I see "em!
Back to your original question: Here's an alternative to mailing them: Visit a local computer shop and have them scan the photo you want them to have. If the people working there are decent enough they'll be more than happy to show you how to load and send it through the Internet for you. Cost? I'd say no more then $10. A wise investment. Now you'll also have it ready for your own home page!

Well, that's the Truth as I See It! Disagree if you wish, but I'll stand by it! Write me if you disagree and I give you your own space to rant.

P.S. I wasn't lying about myself, in case you were wondering. Or maybe I just lied about lying!

My opinion of people on the net, specifically those in chat rooms has changed somewhat since I wrote this. I do, though, recommend you proceed with a net relationship with added caution.

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