PAM'S HOME AWAY FROM HOME

ODE TO ‘I’m just gettin’ on for a MINUTE”



© 1996, K. Weston
ladyzinnia author of this poem

I got up this morning, but haven’t yet dressed.
My dishes aren’t done, and my house is a mess.
Have not done my work, have not fed the cat,
Just on for a second, and popped into “chat”.

I used to watch TV, I used to cook Mex,
I think I remember I used to have SEX!
I used to walk upright, now roll on my chair,
‘Tho it causes the neighbors and children to STARE!

I wanted to travel around on the Net,
Been too busy chatting to get on there yet!
I wanted to spreadsheet, word process, or paint,
But gettin’ on with 'em is what I just ain’t!

So much to learn and I wanted to, but
I’m too busy chatting and splitting a gut,
“lisnin’” to people like NH and Cin,
Oh, gawd, what a fix I have got myself in!

Then up pops a name on my neat BuddyList,
Think I’ll go out and give HIS tail a twist!
And in comes an IM from some weirdo-guy,
I cuss ‘im, insult ‘im, and tell him ‘bye ‘bye.

Is there a 12-step support group, or such?
For those of us folks who just chat on too much?
If there was a group, I would like it just fine,
Except that it prob’ly would be here on line!

Are there therapists here? I think that I saw some.
It’s got me, it’s GOT me, it’s power is AWESOME!
It’s my new computer, I’ve had it one week,
Now I look in the mirror and I see a geek.

Or maybe a geekess, but I see the signs,
Please help me, please help me, please get me off line!
Or better, please e-mail a burger and fries,
‘Cuz I’m staying ON here, at least ‘til I DIES!!