What Happened
to Nicholas

I didn't want to include on Nicholas' Place,
but there have been many questions as to what
happened to Nicholas.

On the morning of January 11, 1995,
Nicholas and I were in the car driving to
take him to the babysitters and then for
me to go on to work. The roads were icy
here in Ohio.  A man was on his way to
work driving 55 MPH, on an icy road mind you,
I was driving 40 MPH.  The man attempted to
pass a car, he then slid into my lane hitting
the front end of my car with the side of his.
I don't remember this morning, but I can tell
you what others have told me. I was unconscious
following the accident due to impact my face took.
And that my Chevy Spectrum was about three feet shorter
than it was before the impact. Nicholas was
taken in the ambulance to the hospital with me,
singing Barney songs the whole way, from what
I am told.  He continued to sing these Barney
songs in the hospital. They had no idea that
there was anything wrong with this little boy
who was singing all the time. As they were getting
ready to do the one test that would have let
them know what was wrong with him, his heart
stopped and they could not get it started again.

It was later learned that his little heart was
bruised and bleeding. That was his only injury.
There was no way of them finding this out
when they were  following the hospital procedure.
I am at the point I don't know who to blame.
I want to blame someone, but there's really
no one there to place this blame on.  I know
that most people would blame the driver of the
other car, and I did for quite some time.  But it does
not bring Nicholas back to me, this thought just
stays inside of me and does nothing but torture
me and build hatred towards this man.

It is done, I can do nothing to change it,
I can only try to go on with my new life.
It is a new life, it will never be the same
as it was before. My life had Nicholas in it,
he is gone, and so is my "normal" life.


If the driver of the other car had just
thought more of all the other vehicles on
the road that morning, this accident could
have been prevented. It doesn't take much
to be a considerate driver. If this man
would have taken a little more time that
morning, the accident would have never happend.

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