---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 11:03:07 EDT From: Patricia L ElmoreSubject: NA: Alone at the Shrine? Hope all are having a happy Memorial Day. Just an idea for the long weekend (which began yesterday, but I was busy). How about a round robin tale of what's going on at the Shrine? Anyone who joins in gives permission for their *character* to be used in the tale. I'll even begin. If this fizzles, no problemo. Just thought it might be fun to provide mail for those at home, thirsting for Nunkies. ***************************** Summer Doldrums . . . or, how I spent my weekend at the Shrine by . . . hopefully various people "Hello!" Patt called cheerfully into the long hallway as she stepped through the alley doorway, *private entrance* to the Sacred Shrine to Nunkies. She set her suitcase down and took a moment to breathe in. Fragrant incense and the scent of white roses clung to the air. The mature Cousin smiled. . . nothing like coming home after a long absence. It had taken the Third Cousin quite awhile to put her personal family affairs in order. She'd kept touch with NA activities through e-mail correspondences with friends, but it wasn't anything like being in the Toronto-based hub of Nunkieness. The Shrine was the heart, the soul, of Nunkies-worshiping. Being away from it led to stray thoughts of others--not bad thoughts, mind you. Just stray. When Patt found herself victim of a lustful urge for a foreign gentleman, she knew it was time to head for Canada. She packed her clothes, kissed her Mom, hugged the dogs, smooched her photo of Oded, then headed the pickup truck north. Three days later she was stepping across the Shrine threshold, looking forward to a good wallow in addiction. "Hello!" she shouted again. No reply, except the bouncing echo of her own shrill voice. Patt winced. "Well," she mumbled, "they're not worshiping in the anterooms, so maybe they're all in the main hall." Then a terrible thought crossed Patt's mind, quickening her step. "Sure hope the HP didn't call a special meeting, and I'm late for it. She gets pretty darn testy when an NA comes in late for a gathering . . ." Patt stepped gingerly into the main hall and cast a furtive glance around the massive room. No sign of human, or non-human for that matter, life. A confused look crossed the Third Cousin's brow. The last time it was this quiet was during the W . . . The mature one dropped her canvas bag with a resounding thump "HELLO?" Just a tinge of panic permeated Patt's voice. [They couldn't have declared WAR while I was gone. They couldn't have! I can't have walked right into a seige and be surrounded by Dark Perks or Mercs or any of those other IRK-some people who live to make an NA's life miserable. I can't have!!] "HELLLLLOOOOOO!!!!!!" Patt was moving quickly now--her trotting version of a run. She darted through the main area into the kitchen/lab. No one. She hurried to the back of the Shrine, peeking into the Green Room, the Library, the many other rooms where NAs congregated to revel in their addiction. No one . . . The Sacred Pond was empty, except for the gastly cold visage of Screed's face, sandblasted into the bottom. [Well,] Patt thought, [I wouldn't really want to swim in there either, I guess.] She glanced at Screed's smirking face, winced again and fled from the room. The Sacred Cold Showers were void of near-meltdown bodies. The Sacred Sauna was much less than steamy. Patt was quite worried, not quite scared. Even in wartime, the metal-plated Not-So-Vestal-Virgins would be present, armed to the teeth with chocolate and watchful of all entrants to the premises. Patt ran back into the great hall, passing quickly to the entryway which connected the Shrine to the Jeweled Peach restaurant. A large wire gate had been strung across the connecting way, effectively eliminating any entrance to the eating establishment from the NA side, and vice versa. Patt noted with shock that the gate was padlocked, and no amount of shaking would open the way. The Third Cousin fell back into the great room, breathing heavily. Her knees were quaking and her lungs felt full of fire. Something awful, beyond words, must have happened to bring the Shrine to such a state of isolated ruin. The thought hit Patt with such intensity she felt she'd suffered a blow. "THEY'VE ALL BEEN HAULED OFF BY THE CANADIAN REVEUE AGENTS!!" The Third Cousin shrieked. She turned to run, to flee from this den of silence and stife, but as she did she encountered total darkness, a wall of black before her eyes. Patt reached out, tentatively touching the void. It was soft, silky, and yielded slightly to her probing fingers. Patt slowly began looking upward, then gasped in an absurd combination of pain, pleasure, angst, etc., at the face which was staring down at her. LaCroix. ******************* End part 1 ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 12:08:29 EDT From: Patricia L Elmore Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--part 2 Summer Doldrums . . . or, how I spent my weekend at the Shrine Segment 2 -- Where, oh where, did all the NA's go? by Patt Elmore ******************* Patt whirled quickly, but not quickly enough to avoid the claw-like clasp of Uncle's hand on her shoulder. LaCroix turned the Third Cousin back to face him, and Patt reacted with instinctive emotion. She shrieked. Uncle narrowed his eyes, giving the wayward NA his most decisive non-verbal repremand. Patt's pitch only increased, her wail seeming even more loud than usual, due to the emptiness of the room. Finally, Patt quieted, her throat now scratchy and constricted with overuse. During her scream, LaCroix had remained motionless, except for certain facial gestures of discontent. Now, as the Third Cousin's shouting subsided, LaCroix cleared his voice and addressed her pointedly. "So nice of you to make an appearance, Ms. Elmore. I would have appreciated more promptness, though." "Huhhh?" Patt was vaguely aware that her jaw had dropped to her knees. Little things began to come at her like flies . . . Uncle had not shaken her aggressively to silence, he was addressing her politely, he wasn't threatening to kill her . . . "My request for your presence went out two days ago," LaCroix continued, releasing his hold on the NA's shoulder. "I would have expected your arrival to be more . . . timely." Patt gulped. "I left Louisiana three days ago, Sir. I was on the road and didn't get your message, I guess." LaCroix smiled . . . almost softly. Patt suddenly felt as giddy as Fleur must have felt. Her knees almost buckled again, but she remained standing through sheer force of will. "Psychic premonition?" LaCroix continued to smile. "I don't know whether to be pleased or frightened, Ms. Elmore, especially when considering the link is with you." [Still LaCroix.] Patt shook off the Fleur-ish mode and grinned inwardly. Then she frowned. "Where is everybody? Where's Louis?" "Msr. Cabon is in Florida for the week . . . vacationing," LaCroix replied smoothly. "Your NA sisters are either non-disposed or running errands on my behalf." "Errands?" Patt's eyes narrowed with suspicion. LaCroix smiled . . . this time, the sharkish, cold smile of absolute control. "Errands," he repeated. Patt waited until LaCroix was ready to continue. His long pause was for drama's sake, and he was obviously pleased that the very verbal mature cousin was listening intently. "As you are aware," he finally began again, "the *NunkMommy* has announced her return to the Shrine. This was perhaps the most pleasurable news related to my addictive followers that I have received in a long, long time. Her reappearance is especially helpful now that so many new, young addicts are cluttering the premises--they need guidance, purpose, rules . . ." "Grout duty," Patt muttered. LaCroix ignored her, " . . . and leadership so that they can best reach their goal of enlightened worship of . . . ME." The cold, impassioned grin again. "When the current NA first came into being several years ago, I admit I was unsure of how I felt about having a distinct following again. But, I must admit, your activities have *amused* me . . . most of the time. I would miss not having you about." "You would?" Patt felt her ego bloating. LaCroix stared at her for a moment. "Well . . . most of you anyway." Properly deflated, Patt stood her ground and waited. "So, what has this got to do with beckoning the NA forces and sending us all on erands?" "I have decided to do something special . . . to mark the return of the NunkMommy," LaCroix replied, beginning to strow around the room. He extended his arms with a flourish. "I've decided to redecorate." "Errrr, you can't do that," Patt said quietly. "It's against the fanfic rules--no permanent altering of the Shrine." Uncle stopped walking and faced the Cousin. "I'm LaCroix." "And you'll be answering to the non-sensible PTB if you mess with this building," Patt replied, her words bolstered by knowing she had right on her side. "I will deal with *that* young woman when I chose to do so. Now, as to why you were summoned, here." LaCroix thrust a legal-size sheet of paper at the Third Cousin. "This is your list. Get to work." The writing was extremely small and the task list rather daunting. "What is all this?" Patt moaned. "Think of it as a *scavanger hunt,*" LaCroix grinned, obviously pleased with his choice of words. "And, I expect you to have it accomplished by tomorrow evening. Some of your friends have already received their lists, and others will be arriving shortly. You may work as a group or give them individual assignments to accomplish . . . I really have no preference for how you achieve my goals . . . only that you do." And, with those parting words, LaCroix vanished upward, leaving Patt staring at the long, long list in her hands. She looked down at the tiny print and read the first line. "New over-stuffed harem pillows . . ." It was going to be a very long day. ********************* End segment 2 ------------------------------ Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 12:35:28 EDT From: Ntkiss@aol.com Subject: Re: NA: Alone at the Shrine? I wanna play! Sukh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was time to get out of the Harem for a while. She'd weathered Nunkies trying to take over and, now, it seemed she was permanently in trouble over something she said. All Michael ever said to her anymore was 'the white room'. The last blowout had been over that kilt caper, but did the MacCousin get blamed for her part? Well, yeah. "Where are you going?" Sukh looked up from packing her bags to find Michael and Angel both standing at her door. Damn those crossovers! "It's a long holiday, I'm going to hang with my other friends." Sukh slipped her NA badges into her bag. "I'm betting it's that guy from that movie," Angel snorted. "You mean the Tattooed Desert Dude," Michael was not looking happy. "Once a Renegade Addict, always a Renegade Addict." "I can come and go as I please," Sukh growled as she hefted her bag over her shoulder. "Do you have your cell phone?" Michael asked as she pushed past the two mother hens in her doorway. "Why? Are you going to reach out and touch me?" She moved toward the secret underground Harem entrance. "In case there is a mission." Michael was not amused. Of course. Mr. Stoneface was never amused. "I'll be back on Tuesday." She reached up and gave both Michael and Angel a peck on the cheek. "And yes, I have my cell." ~~~~~~~ "What took so bloody long?" Giles pulled away from the curb in the Citroen. "Michael and Angel." "Oh." Giles smiled at her, then looked for the side street to get to the back of the Jeweled Peach. "And you're sure you'll be safe at this Shrine?" "Giles, not you too." Sukh sighed and pointed out the way for her favorite Librarian. "I'll be fine. I just miss my shrine buds, even the Ratpackers." She smiled as she started to flashback into the last WAR and the fun they'd had. "The light's green, now which way?" Giles interrupted her reverie. "There is good. We have a rule about the secret entrance and characters from other TV shows." "I see." Giles pulled over and let Sukh out. He stood at the sidewalk with her and took off his glasses to clean them. "Well, be careful. I don't want my favorite research assistant to come to any harm." Sukh gave him a soft kiss of the cheek. "I will. See ya on Tuesday." She turned and walked off into the Toronto afternoon. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Hello?" Sukh called into the empty-looking shrine. Her voice echoed off the tiles and faded. She went to her room to set her stuff on the bed, then to get her NSVV gear on. Halfway to the locker room she tripped over another suitcase. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ TAG! Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 13:29:13 EDT From: Patricia L Elmore Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums--part 4 Summer Doldrums--part 4 "Tag?" Patt looked up from the list, startled by the sound of falling items. Someone else *was* in the Shrine!! The Third Cousin quickly ran up the steps and almost fell over Sukh, who was picking up scattered clothing off the floor. "Sukh! What are you doing in my undies?" Patt said, aghast as the smaller woman lifted up a large pair of white lacies. "I tripped over your suitcase," Sukh muttered in reply. "Why did you leave it in the hall like that?" Patt smiled sheepishly. "I think I had a flashback or something . . . I kind of zoned out and just dropped it." "Oh," Sukh eyed the other Cousin. "Having TOG thoughts, are we?" Patt ignored the insult. "Nope, just got things on my mind. Are you here in answer to Uncle's All-Points-Bulletin?" "Wasn't aware he'd put one out," Sukh said, picking herself off the floor and shutting Patt's baggage carrier with a sharp snap. "I just needed some time away from my other menfolk. They were being demanding and a real pain. I wanted some quiet time." Then she looked at Patt sharply. "Nunkies put out an APB? Why?!!" "Something to do with the NunkMommy coming back. He's given a task list to us. Here, take a look." Sukh accepted the long list and began perusing it with interest. She alternately giggled and gasped, then handed the paper back to Patt. "Have fun, Third Cousin." Patt shook her head. "LaCroix gave this assignment to all of us." Sukh shook her head. "He didn't give it to me--you're in possession of the silly thing. I'm tired, need to rest, and I must edit." "Posh," Patt replied. "Your services are needed by Nunkies . . ." "And Michael, and Angel, and Oded and . . . "Leave the TDD out of this," Patt growled. "Or what," Sukh growled back. "Get to work!" a familiar, deep voice boomed from somewhere down the hall. "Yeech!!" both women grabbed for the list, effectively tearing it in two. "Youch!" Patt gasped, holding the top part of the paper. "I'm sure glad you got that half," Sukh laughed, heading down the hall toward the exit stairs. "I've had enough of harems, and I want no part of finding new pillows . . ." "Yeah," Patt yelled at the vanishing addict, "but at least I don't have to go steal a backhoe." *********************** End Part 4 From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 13:21:21 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums To: nunkies@world.std.com Oooo...I wanna play. Just be warned--I have taken sinus medication. Christy **************************** The short redhead paid the cab driver and stood in front of The Jeweled Peach, wondering just exactly how she was supposed to get inside since the establishment seemed closed. "Great, Christy," she said to herself. "Your first trip to Toronto, your first chance to visit the Shrine to Nunkies, and the Peach is closed!" She started to wonder if perhaps the message from LaCroix hadn't been some kind of elaborate joke played on her by her non-FK "friends." Wasn't there supposed to be some kind of private entrance somewhere? She cursed herself for not having printed out the map of the Shrine. Sometimes being a newbie could be SO annoying. Oh well, nothing for it but to fake it. She headed down the nearby alley and soon spotted a door that was slightly ajar. Pushing it open, she tentatively stuck her head inside. "Hello? Anybody home?" There was no answer, but she thought she heard a distinct grumbling sound in the distance. Following the sound, she made her way through the Shrine, gazing about her excitedly. This was the Shrine! She was actually here! She sighed dreamily. She stopped when she found the source of the grumbling noise. Directly ahead of her was a woman staring unbelievingly at a sheet of legal paper covered with what appeared to be a list...a very long list. "Um...hi," Christy said tentatively. "I got this message saying it was urgent that I come here." With a puzzled look, she took in the empty Shrine. "Maybe I got the dates mixed up or something?" Looking up from the list, the mature addict eyed the newcomer dubiously. "You're one of the new addicts, aren't you?" "Sure am. Christy Stillman, at your service," came the answer. "'At my service.' Well, isn't that handy?" Patt grinned broadly as she approached the newcomer. "Patt Elmore, Third Cousin...mature addict...yada yada." The redhead blanched slightly. "The one with the beer bottle?" "Yep. What of it?" "Nothing really. Just wondering whether or not it's safe to be this close to you. Generally people who wind up standing this close to you manage to get into deep do-do. I've read the fanfic...." Patt shot Christy an evil look. "Yeah, well, it's safe enough right now. Besides, we won't have TIME to get into trouble." She waved the list under Christy's nose. "His Nunkiness has decided to redecorate." "But, I thought there was a rule..." Patt cut her off. "Apparently, himself has decided that HE is the one who makes the rules now. Come on. There are some folks already on errands and more on the way. We have to have this done by tomorrow evening. Time's a wastin.'" The mature addict shooed the newbie toward the main hall. ***************************************************************** To: nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--part 6 From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 13:50:33 EDT With a slightly unwilling Christy dogging her footsteps, Patt headed for the Shrine exit with her half of the now not-quite-so-long-but-still-daunting list of stuff which Nunkies had assigned her to do. Sukh was a relative old-timer in the NA clan, so she would be fine working independently, or picking up helpful addicts as she went. Christy, on the other hand, was a flat out fledgling NA and needed the helpful guidance from one of Patt's maturity. Besides, carrying twelve peacocks back to the Shrine might require assistance . . . "Errr, Ms. Third Cousin, Ma'am?" Patt turned to find the redhead not following her anymore. This did not please the mature one, and she frowned at the new NA. "What?" Christy took a tentative step forward. "I know that the assignment is important, and I really want to help, but I just got here and I'd kind of like to freshen up, look around, try on togas . . ." "Later." Patt's tone left no room for argument. "Just drop your extraneous stuff, and let's go." "Do we get to drive in the Jaguar?" Christy asked, her bright eyes hopeful. Patt snorted in response. "LaCroix let me drive the Jag? You *are* kidding, right? Nope . . . we're taking my truck . And, be thankful we are because of what's on this list." Patt shook the paper with passion. "May I have a look at it?" Christy smiled, her hand reaching out tentatively. "Once we're in the truck, kiddo, I'll let you hold it to your heart's content," Patt replied slyly. "Heck, I'll even buy you a drive-thru souvlaki." Christy's expression brightened. "Oh! That sounds GOOD!" She began following Patt out of the main room. "Yea, it does," Patt agreed. "Now, kid, you got any idea where we might find some anti-gravity boots?" ********************** From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 14:10:46 EDT Subject: NA: Alone at the Shrine? To: nunkies@world.std.com This is my first attempt at an FK Round Robin. If I step on a few toes, please don't hurt me too badly, and the horse is innocent!!! Jennifer and Coup (that's my horse) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----- ~Arrival~ Jennifer sat astride her eight-year-old Thoroughbred gelding. They'd been together for four years, and, as she stroked his dark bay coat, she could hardly believe that they had actually pulled this off. This was Canada, and not far from where she and Coup now were was the Shrine to Nunkies. They had travelled cross country from Oklahoma to reach it. Granted, they had used horse trailering survices for parts of the journey, but the fact that Jennifer had left the barn with Coup, and he had behaved himself most of the way made her almost as happy as the sight of the home of the Shrine. It had been quite a chore for Jennifer to convince her horse to come with her to the Shrine. He had Diviant tendencies and was disappointed when he'd found out his owner wanted to visit a different vampire. Then, when she had pointed out that LaCroix *was* related to Divia and promised him a Divia carrot dispenser for his stall, he had relented. They'd left several nights before, just after Jennifer's graduation. Drusilla and Spike had come to see them off. "Do you have your daisies, love?" Dru had asked Jennifer as the human girl checked her packs again. "Right here, Dru," Jen had answered, holding up the plastic flowers. "Take good care of them," Drusilla admonished her, brushing her fingers lightly over the cloth petals. "I will. Don't worry," Jen said. Then, she almost dropped her pack and the flowers when the red-clad vampiress hugged her. It was *not* good to be that close to Dru, no matter *how much* they liked each other. Jen didn't exactly want to be Dru's lunch. Jen let our her breath in a gasp when Dru finally released her and stepped back. "Well, love," Spike said, leaning againt the tack room wall with his hands in his pocket, "I hope you 'ave a good trip. Remember, if I 'ear anything about this bloke of yours mistreating you-" "Spike!!!" Jen cried. "This 'bloke' has had my devotion longer than you, and he is *not* going to destroy me." Jen sincerely hoped it was true. She'd only been up close and personal to Nunkies twice, once when she'd had a bad day at school, and again at her Senior Prom. "I'm not saying that 'e will," Spike was saying. "I just want you t' know that, if you need me, I'll come." "Thanks," Jen said, smiling a little, "but I think Coup and I can take care of ourselves." She gave Spike a quick peck on the cheek - the fact that he was sane made it easier than hugging Dru - before leading Coup out of the barn and into the night. "Need a leg?" a voice came out of the darkness as she approached the gate. "Angel," Jen said without looking. The dark vampire appeared before her, a slight smile on his lips. "You were expecting Xander, maybe?" "No, not really. And yes, a leg would be nice, wouldn't it, Coupers?" Jen's horse nodded. "Well, let's go then," Angel replied. Jen quickly checked her tack once again, tightened the girth, and dropped her stirrups. Then, she stood at her horse's left, one hand holding the reins and Coup's mane, the other resting on the front of her saddle, and her left leg bent back behind her. Angel cupped his hands around her knee. "One, two, three!" On three, Angel lifted and Jennifer jumped, swinging smoothly into the saddle. She bent down and said, "Thanks, Angel." "Anytime." They clasped hands for a moment, and then Jen was gone, posting Coup's smooth trot as she disappeared into the night. Jen smiled. She was ready to go to the Shrine. She'd dressed in her favorite black tanktop and her tan riding breeches for this last ride. She hadn't wanted to mess with her tall boots on this trip, so she'd worn her ankle-high paddock boots and her black chaps. Coup was well-groomed and in his colors: burgundy and navy, the same as on Jennifer's helmet cover. Jennifer shortened her reins and adjusted her seat in the saddle, then gave Coup a quick squeeze with her calves. All the years of training paid off as the Thoroughbred broke into a smooth canter at her cue. They kept that pace until they almost reached the Shrine. Then, mindful of her horse's need to cool down, Jen slowed him to a walk for the last few minutes of the trip. When she reached the Shrine grounds, she dismounted. She saw first to her horse, then removed her helmet and pulled out her hair tie, letting the dark brown locks fall out of the pony tail she always wore when riding. Jennifer led Coup onto the grounds, not quite sure what to do with him now that they were here. Finally, she decided he was cool enough to eat, so she replaced his bridle with a dark leather halter and took the feed and small feed pan from her pack. She poured the feed into the pan, and put it on the ground. She left Coup eating and admonished him, "No sneaking off, or I'll make you watch that bad horse tamer movie again." He snorted at her. She ignored him and moved towards the Shrine. But before she could enter, a hand touched her shoulder. She stopped suddenly, holding in a cry of surprise. Then, she turned around slowly. She beheld a tall figure, clad completely in black. "Vader, how many times have I told you. Not now! You can torment Luke later!!!" The Dark Lord of the Sith remained motionless. "I am not pleased with your progress." "Look, Darth, I'll get to that fanfic soon, I promise. Now, why don't you go compare notes with Exar Kun, okay?" The Dark Jedi nodded, and disappeared. Then, Jennifer heard footsteps behind her. "Not again," she sighed. As she turned, she started to say, "No, Xander, you *cannot* go out with Buffy in my next-" Jennifer froze as she saw who was there. "Uh, L-L-LaCroix," she stammered as she took in his imposing form. She gulped, fully expecting him to give her one of his looks. Then again, she could almost swear that he was on the verge of smiling. A closer look at his eyes comfirmed it. He was actually *amused* by her nervousness. "Come here, my dear child, and call your Diviant horse, as well." Jennifer nodded, then turned in Coup's direction and gave a sharp whistle. He came, carrying his now-empty feed pan with him. Jennifer moved mechanically as she took the pan from him and repacked it. She then turned to regard LaCroix, her hand resting on the crest of Coup's neck for support. The gelding merely regarded LaCroix with the same mildly interested expression he did everyone. He could smell that the vampire didn't have anything worth eating. He would have been very forward if he had. LaCroix spoke again, and his voice sent shivers down Jennifer's spine. "Now then, we need to have a little discussion, Jennifer." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Next!!! Be kind to the horse. :-) Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 18:14:22 -0500 From: Nightstalker To: nunkies@world.std.com Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums Oh, sure, I finally get home, and the story's gone without me. Is it okay for a latecomer to jump in? If not, ignore this. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Get up here now, cherie." LaCroix's voice was dark as he spoke to the Addict he had sent to Egypt for some R&R. "Lemme get this straight--you want me to come up there from this heaven you sent me to in order to relax--" "Cherie, if you don't come to Canada now, I will instruct the HP to revoke your shrine priveliges and bust you to newbie rank." Chris thought it must have been serious if he was threatening to bust her rank. "Okay, okay. I'll get the big O to set me up with a carpet. I'll be there in a bit." "You will ride up in the chopper stationed at the back of the villa. Have--" the smile in LaCroix's voice was apparent "--the big O pilot. He has had all the requisite lessons." "Yeah, okay." Chris knew that LaCroix was aware of her sense of humour and was taking the banter as it was intended--a joke. "See ya in a few hours." "Goodbye, cherie." LaCroix beeped of his digital phone. Odd though her sense of humour was, she was worth it--they were all worth it. Satisfied that Chris would be here soon to join in their little game, he relaxed into the embrace of the litter-like chair he'd had installed on the ceiling--luckily none of them had looked up yet. "Oh, man." Chris set the golden phone back in its cradle. She turned to the dark, long-haired guy beside her. "Od, we gotta get up to Canada pronto. The General's on the warpath, and I, for one, don't wanna be in his way." The pout was evident in his voice as he replied. "I hate piloting that thing. Why couldn't I just ride on a wing like last time?" "Come on. I can show you where Iowa is on the way up." Chris shimmied out of the pillows and stood up, wrapping her silk kimono about her. "Od, you owe him, remember?" He flicked his dark gaze up to meet her level green one. "I'm keeping you here for an extra month for this." "Oh, like that's gonna be a problem. Now get dressed and get in that chopper!" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chris--who's trying to think of another name so she and Christy don't get confused. From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 14:39:35 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh's Turn To: nunkies@world.std.com Heh! This is fun! Sukh AWOL from the book for a day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A backhoe? Where in the heck was she going to get a backhoe in Toronto. The gold-dusted male strippers were no problem, the scale model of Pompeii in edible honey sticks and baklava was a snap (thank goodness for the UF). She went to her room and pulled out her cell. "Birkoff? I need a backhoe ASAP." She paused for the laughter to die down. "No, really, I need a backhoe outside the Harem entrance in two hours." She paused as she found her little black Janette dress. "Yes, Walter can drive it." She hung up the cell and turned to find Nunkies standing behind her. "My are you the resourceful one," he drawled as she clutched her dress to her. "I assume my bulletin didn't make it through the security of the Harem?" "Um, no." "So the MacCousin won't be joining us?" LaCroix frowned and Sukh was caught up in watching his elegant eyebrows draw toward his pale eyes. "A pity. I had the perfect errand for her." "I can help, I have a MacCousin badge." Sukh blurted before realizing what Pandora's box she just opened. Nunkies smiled. "Really?" Then he handed her a short list. "Perhaps while your looking for the rest of the Third Cousin's list, you can take on the MacCousin's search also." "Umm, sure." She looked at the MacCousin's list. A set of plaid Roman armor, in MacNunkies tartan, four kegs of Granny MacIntyre cider, a pound cake life size Roman chariot complete with four Devils food cake horses, and two hundred replicas of A certain Roman cup in silver. "No problem." She waved her dress at LaCroix, and shooed him out of her room. "I have to dress for my mission." "There will be no La Femme Nikita talk in my shrine." LaCroix growled as he turned and stalked off. Sukh stuck out her tongue at his black clad back. "You will pay for that later." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TAG! Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:01:27 -0700 (PDT) From: Arymede Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums To: nunkies@world.std.com Well, here goes. Excuse the newbie, please. -------------------- Ary gazed at the computer screen. She had too much to do now. Graduation next week, dance shows coming out of her ears, desperately trying to pass social and biology, a best friend going through emotional breakdown... But, when Nunkies calls, NAs answer. She picked up the phone and called the airport. ~~~~~~~~ Ary walked up outside the Jeweled Peach. Secret entrance, hmmm, secret entrance. She circled the building twice before noticing the slightly open door. She peeked in. "Helllooooooooo? Is anyone home?" A couple people standing in the room jumped at her loud voice. "Uh, sorry. So, what am I supposed to do?" She stepped fully into the Shrine, closing the door behind her. One of the people whom she didn't recognize glanced at her unusual attire (jeans, hunter green velvet tunic, bandolier of throwing knives, longbow and arrows strapped across her chest...), and asked "So, who are *you*?" "Um, yeah. I'm Ary, newbie extrordinaire, recent heir to the title "Resident Evil Freshman", UFer, Cousin, Glowworm, and other things. I don't post much. Why am I here?" _________________________________________________________ To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt's part From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:19:23 EDT Christy! I just couldn't wait any longer to post. **************************** "Hehehehehe." Patt's distinct giggle sent a chill down Christy's spine. Hanging with the Third Cousin was assuredly an adventure, but there were certain elements of terror which the young woman had not been expecting--well, had *hoped* she wouldn't encounter. Christy watched with interest as Patt's derriere emerged from the cabinet it had been stuffed into. The rest of the mature cousin quickly followed. Patt sat back on her heals and held her treasure up triumphantly. "Heart of the Ocean!" Patt's grin was quite bright behind the soot which now covered her face. "I knew if it were *anywhere* other than at the bottom of the sea, it would be in a RatPacker den." "Uh, huhh," Christy took the offered necklace and looked it over, her mouth twisting slightly. "You sure this isn't just a copy--looks kind of tarnished to me." "Real silver tarnishes when not polished, my dear Sullivan," Patt poopoohed the other NA. "Now, get a cloth and clean it up." "Why me?" Christy whined. She was beginning to feel the affects of flunkiness and found it a bit tiresome. A promised early evening trek through Toronto had been interesting, but they had never left the Shrine proper, and she found Patt's orders a bit . . . obnoxious. Patt gave the young Cousin a glaring look. "Fine. I'll clean up the jewelry. You go find . . . this." She pointed to the list, which appeared to be expanding, and indicated one of the items. Christy read it and went pale. "You want me to go get . . . THAT??!!" "It's on the list, kid. You can handle it." "But . . .!" Patt had finished rummaging through a drawer and, with a happy noise, produced a cloth and bottle of polish. She sat down at the kitchen/lab table and began working on the blue-bejeweled necklace. Christy waited, but Patt showed no signs of acknowledging her. "What if I can't . . .?" Christy began slowly. "Then you can have the honor of explaining your failure to Nunkies," Patt replied, never taking her eyes off her polishing. With an unhappy sigh, Christy headed through the swinging doors which led out of the kitchen/lab into the main hall. In a few minutes, the young addict's voice filtered back to the mature one, causing Patt to smile. "Just where *are* the Sacred Stables, anyway?" ************************** To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:50:57 EDT Tammy used with permission. **************** Patt finished the polishing and placed the necklace on the sideboard. She smiled when she noticed that she'd been whistling, quite pleased at how much of the list she'd been able to accomplish. But, there was still so much to do. She picked up the half-legal-size paper where Christy had dropped it, looking at the next item which needed attention. Easy. She reached for the telephone. "One wall of decorative brick with Celtic design coming up." "Leo's Loadstone," a voice replied after three rings. "Hey, Leo, glad to find you home at this hour," Patt said cheerfully. "I have a job for you, and there's a bonus if I have it by mid-morning." Transaction details completed, Patt hung up the phone and picked up the task list again. Her eyes had just focused when the delivery door bell gonged loudly. "Darn that loud thingee," Patt yelped. When the gong went off, it always startled her, and this time had been no exception. Then, her face brightened. "I'm impressed by your promptness, Leo ole buddy, but the bonus ain't getting any bigger." Patt unlatched and threw open the back door. Then she screeched and slammed it shut again. "Hey, let me in!" an Irish-accented female voice, accompanied by fistive pounding, yelled from behind the door. "Why?" Patt inquired cautiously. "Because Nunkies ordered me to come here, so here I am." "You're an Addict?" Patt opened the door slightly and peeked through the narrow opening. "Yes," the disheveled brunette answered, busily brushing herself off. "Now please admit me." "I'll admit you're an Addict if you say so," Patt replied, still holding the door only slightly ajar, "but I'm not letting you inside without more information." The younger woman sighed. "All right. My name is Tammy. I'm a Nunkies Addict, a Dark Perk, a NightShifter and I've just been accepted into the newly formed Enforcers!" "How nice for you," Patt drawled. "But I'm not too crazy about the long trench coat. You're not packing weaponry, are you?" "Oh," Tammy said, understanding Patt's concern. The Irish woman smiled sweetly. "I'm quite harmless, but I do have this . . ." At the sight of the overly-stuffed duffle, Patt yelped again and slammed the door shut. "Hey, let me in," Tammy yelled, pounding on the metal door. "I can be quite helpful, you know. I don't have time for this nonsense--I dropped exams, flew over here and parachuted from a plane, just to make Nunkies proud. Now, let me in so I can complete my duties and return to my studies." Student activities, though she'd been out of school for a long, long, long, long, long, long (well, you get the idea) time, were something Patt could relate to. Slowly, still doubting the intelligence of her decision, the Third Cousin opened the delivery door. Tammy stepped gingerly inside and faced the other addict. "Thank you muchly, I'm sure," the dark-haired woman said. "You're welcome, I'm sure back," Patt replied. "So, you got the *report now* message from LaCroix, too?" "Yes," Tammy replied, "and though I'm pleased at his confidence shown in requesting my presence, the timing is terrible." "Your studies?" Patt guessed. Tammy gave the other addict a withering look. "Well, yes, that and this assignment conflicted with my first Enforcer Party. Drat it. And, I think I ripped a boot 'chuting out of the plane." "Ahhhhhh," Patt watched with interest as Tammy inspected her attire. "You looked dressed for battle." "Always," Tammy grinned brightly at the thought. "I live for adventure." "Good," Patt nodded, "Then you've come to the right place. Nunkies has plenty of adventure brewing for you." "Brewing?" Tammy ticked an eyebrow at the other woman. "You're not planning mayhem of your own, are you?" "No, no, no," Patt shook her head. "LaCroix gave us this task list, and we can use all the help we can get, 'cause he wants it completed by tomorrow night." Tammy looked dubiously at the piece of paper Patt was waggling in front of her. "Origami?" she asked sweetly. "Close," Patt admitted with a nod. "But he wants it bigger, roomier and with plenty of bedspace. Being a DP," Patt matched Tammy's grin before it had started to fade with understanding as she looked at the list item Patt was indicating, "I'm sure you can handle it--he wants it pink. ***************************** End of this part From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 16:52:08 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh To: nunkies@world.std.com Sukh twirled in the dress and frowned. It was going to be hard to drive a backhoe in this, besides it had a few wrinkles that needed to be steamed out. No problem, she looked in her bag and pulled out her black Harem mission pants and shirt. She snagged her dress and hung it up to dewrinkle for later. She had just finished when she heard someone call out. Reinforcements! She entered the shrine to find two more of the new Addicts milling around the bust. "Kewl!" she said as Pat emerged from the lab room with a necklace that looked vaguely familiar. The mature cousin and Sukh grinned at each other. "I'll take the one in the trenchcoat, and you can have the redhead." Sukh announced as she headed toward the Sacred stables. The chariot better still be there. So what's your name?" Sukh motioned for the dark haired Newbie to fall in step with her. "Nite." "Well, Nite, have you ever driven a chariot?" Sukh asked as they approached the stables. Nite raised n eyebrow at her in a manner most Nunkies-like. Another newbie was standing in front of the stables, frowning and biting her lip. Jennifer was sitting atop her beautiful gelding looking at her list and frowning. "So, who wants to help me hook up the other horses to the chariot?" Sukh rubbed her hands together. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TAG! From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 18:14:07 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy's part To: nunkies@world.std.com Christy wandered through the halls looking for some sign of an entrance to the Sacred Stables. Finally, she found the place by simply following her nose. Green eyes sparkled as they lit upon the prize she sought, but the darned thing looked awfully heavy. Leave it to Patt to trick her out of polishing the necklace and manipulate her into having to lug a full suit of Roman armor from the stables and back into the kitchen. She looked at its slightly tarnished state and sighed. "I'll bet I wind up having to polish all the metal on it as well." She shook her head. "Oh well, at least I seem to have her convinced that I'm young. That's a plus. Of course, she could simply be referring to my fledgling status." Looking around for something--anything--that she could use as transportation for the heavy breastplate, she spotted a wheelbarrow. After making sure it had been properly cleaned after its last use, she started loading it with the armor. She couldn't resist holding up the leather "skirt." Obviously too big for her. In fact, now that she looked carefully at the armor, she could see that it was definitely man-sized. Her breath caught. Could it be? Was she actually touching the General's own armor? Her fingertips drifted over the breastplate, eyes glazing over dreamily. She could almost see him standing there, red cape billowing, ice blue eyes hard with command.... "Hey, kid. You gonna haul that stuff in here or drool over it all day?" Her reverie broken, Christy looked up to see her self-appointed keeper standing in the doorway, hands on hips. "Oh, sorry. Were these--*his*?" She indicated the armor with a trembling finger. "That's the story. Well, let's get on with it. Still got a lot of work ahead of us. Bring that on into the kitchen/lab and start polishing." Lifting the handles of the wheelbarrow with a grunt, the fledgling followed her mentor from the room, suddenly very grateful that she'd been weight training for the past few months. As she sat in the kitchen/lab carefully polishing the breastplate, all the various buckles and even mending some of the leather straps, Christy actually found herself...content. The Shrine, even though she still had trouble finding her way around, had the feel of home. She and Patt seemed to be finding the items on their list without an excess of trouble, and so far she had yet to be incarcerated--a fate which seemed to follow anyone hanging with the Third Cousin for very long. The mature addict had finished polishing the "Star of the Ocean" and was now looking over the list again, Heineken in hand. She looked at the fledgling NA. "You about done over there?" "Yep. Just finishing up the repairs on this last strap." "Good. Ready for your evening tour of Toronto? We have a few errands to run outside the Shrine." Green eyes gleamed in anticipation. "Sure! Let's go." As they piled into Patt's truck, the redhead asked, "Where to now, o mentor of mine?" "We're on our way to the Raven." "The Raven? Um, aren't there like, vampires there who *aren't* LaCroix? Vampires who might not know that we're addicts...who might not even care?" The green eyes widened as she gulped convulsively, hand instinctively going to her throat. "No guts, no glory, kid." ***************************** To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 19:07:27 EDT Before heading toward the Raven, several interesting this had occurred. Leaving Christy to her armour polishing, Patt had carefully placed the now shiney necklace in a file cabinet drawer which she had neatly labeled "Nunkies Remodeling Stuff." "Why in the world would Nunkies need remodeling?" a youngish voice chirped from behind the mature addict. "He's perfect the way he is." "Ack!" Patt cried, spinning around to face the unknown intruder. The girl tilted her head and looked at the Third Cousin carefully. "Kind of easily spooked, aren't you?" "Hang around this place as long as I have and you'll be spooked too," Patt replied, turning back to lock the file cabinet. "Just who are you, anyway?" "Name is Pristine, also known as NiteFlyer, and I'm a Nunkies Addict," the girl said proudly. "I'm here to help Uncle." Patt sighed. "You new ones are coming out of the woodwork, aren't you? Welcome to the NA Shrine, Pristine. I'd offer you one of those little silver cups, but drooling will have to wait until later. His Nunkiness has given us a task list and," Patt took the paper out of her shirt pocket and began unfolding it, "here is your assignment . . ." Pristine held up her hand. "Don't bother, ma'am. Nunkies has given me my own personal list," the new addict held up her own sheet of paper. "I met him earlier." The dark haired girl sighed in rapturous contentment. "Errrr, that's nice." Patt looked at the other woman carefully. "So, why are you hanging around the Shrine if you have a list to accomplish?" "Came back for tools," Pristine grinned. "Was told that the Sacred Tool Shed could be annexed off the anteroom/alley entrance, so I was cutting through to there. I do expect I can find a very large drill there, right?" "Oh, yea," Patt nodded. "We specialize in large drills. Help yourself." As Pristine moved to pass Patt, the mature addict spoke again. "I'm confused." "Is that an unusual condition for you?" Pristine's eyes flashed in amusement. "No, but I could have sworn that a girl name Nite left with Sukh awhile ago." "Was she wearing a trenchcoat?" Pristine asked with interest. "Yep," Patt nodded. "That would be Tammy then," Pristine said. "I met her earlier outside the delivery entrance. She seemed perturbed at the time." "Yea, yea, yea." Patt made a shooing motion with her hand. "That's all been taken care of." "Perhaps Tammy borrowed my name because she was going undercover," Pristine suggested. "Works for me," Patt grinned. "Ain't it nifty the way we clear up confusion?" "A talented woman you are," Pristine smiled, again moving past the mature addict. "Now, you'll have to excuse me because I have work to do." Patt watched as the petite addict disappeared out the door. "Least she could have done was take the wheelbarrow back out to the stable," Patt mumbled. "Everybody's too busy doing Uncle's bidding to help each other. Sure wish we had the HP here to keep order." Patt bit her tongue and rolled her eyes, flabbergasted that such a thought had entered her head. Now, she and Christy were navigating the night streets of Toronto, heading toward the Raven. Patt hummed, an off-tune noise which belied her own nervousness at having to go to the well-known watering-hole of vampires and odd humans. Have to keep up appearances for the newbies, right? "Do you have to make that noise?" Christy said, giving Patt a glaring look. "No, but I "am" making this noise," Patt countered. "Beats *dead* silence, don't it?" Christy sat back in her seat, none too happy. "Why do we have to go to the Raven?" she pouted. "Because . . ." Patt replied. " . . . it's on the list that we do so." The establishment was lit up and buzzing when Patt pulled the truck to a stop in front of the canopied entrance. A rather large, hunky bouncer walked over to the pickup and glanced past Christy to study Patt. "You can't park here," he said firmly. "I'm an acquaintance of a friend of the owner," Patt replied. Then her countenance grew thoughtful. "Or, is *he* the owner now. I get my time lines mixed up in these things." "Janette DuCharme owns the Raven," the hunk stated flatly. "And," he looked the two women over with disdain, "I'm sure she doesn't know either of you." "Well," Patt huffed slightly. "We're friends of Lucius LaCroix," Christy said quickly, before Patt could irk the bouncer. Patt had a habit of irking people, you see . . . The hunk shifted his eyes to Christy and considered her words. "LaCroix, huhh? What do you want here? You're not exactly dressed for partying, and you both," he sniffed, "smell like cleaning formula." "We're here on the orders of Nunkies," Patt announced, waving her list. "We have an assignment, and we will fulfill it." "Okay, but if you're jerking me around and make any trouble in there, I will serve your livers to my pet gargoyle," the hunk replied, moving to open the door on Christy's side. "I'll have Sven park your truck for you." "Thanks," the two women called back to the bouncer as they entered the Raven. It took a few minutes for their eyes to adjust to the muted light, but soon they both found themselves staring down into the wriggling mass which crowded the Raven dance floor. Patt scanned the long bar and found her objective, leaning against the highly polished wooden surface, a crystal glass of blood-wine deftly held in her exquisite hand. Patt tugged at Christy's arm and made her way through the crowd to Janette's side. The taller woman looked at the addicts, an expression of disbelief clouding her pale face as she observed the appearance of the two addicts. Then, as if she suddenly understood something, her face relaxed. "Oh, you must be the plumbers. Harry," Janette waved at another bouncer-type at the end of the bar, "show these . . . people . . . to the ladies room, won't you? Happy unplugging," she said, making a motion to shoo the smelly women away. "We're not here to fix your toilet," Patt said huffily. She held the list out to Janette, who instantly recognized the handwriting and then stared at the women in surprise. "We're here for decorating tips." ************************* From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 19:15:27 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh To: nunkies@world.std.com "Let's see, Hey Jennifer, do you think Coup could be talked into helping roll the Chariot out of the Stable?" Sukh lifted the wood and gold shaft and grunted. Jennifer smiled. "I seriously doubt it, but I'll help." She slid off her horse and secured him nearby. Between the three of the addicts, they managed to get it to the courtyard of the stable. It basked in the moonlight, a faint glow of the gold warming the NAer's faces as they checked it over to make sure it was drivable. "Looks good," Sukh finally pronounced. "Lets get the horses hooked up." It took a good half hour and one near escape of the General's coal black Friesians' but it was done. "Something is still missing." Nite scratched head as she watched Sukh check the traces and make sure the Chariot was ready to go. "I know," She raced back into the stables and rooted around. She came out with four Red Ostrich plumes and attached them to the brow strap of the bridles. "Perfect!" Sukh climbed in and wrapped a leather strap around her wrist. She gathered up the reins. '"Come one Nite, Let's roll." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: JBejar1989@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 19:59:23 EDT Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums To: nunkies@world.std.com "I knew I should have worn a more sensible pair of shoes," Jill muttered as she limped up to the door of the Jeweled Peach. The Shy One sighed as she leaned down to ineffectually wipe at the dust marring her black suede boots. "Five feet, nine and a half inches wasn't good enough...Oh no! I just had to give in to 'Oh My God! I'm turning 30 insanity' and buy these 4 inch heels." Jill sighed, gave up on the dust marks, straightened up, wriggled her aching feet one last time, and reached for the door to the Peach. It didn't open. She tugged again. It still didn't open. "I do not believe this! Drive all the way up here a day early. Drive all over town looking for a parking lot that doesn't cost an arm and a leg. End up walking 15 blocks to the Peach, and it's closed! I just do not believe this." Jill, ceased ranting and began rummaging through the bottomless pit she called a purse. Car keys, wallet, address book, appointment calendar, empty Heineken bottle, plastic silverware, sharpies, camera, scrunchies...She stopped pulled out a red velvet scrunchie and pulled her long, curly, honey brown hair up into a pony tail, then continued her search. "Ah Ha," she exclaimed triumphantly as she pulled put a packet of emails and a map of the Shrine. She began to mutter to herself as she skimmed the pages. "Msr. Carbon is outta town, Patt and Christy just left for the Raven, Sukh and Tammy are out and about, stables, armor, chariots, hmmm... Where is that secret entrance?" "Problems, Roomie? A cheery voice called out. "Rae! Love the boots! Let's go see what everyone is up to, shall we?" The two continued chatting as Javiette led the way to the Shrine's Secret Entrance. ******************************** From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 20:05:02 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums-Sukh To: nunkies@world.std.com Umm, Sukh?" The trenchcoated girl looked at the Renegade Addict's gleaming eyes and backed off a step. "Umm, I have a confession to make." "Hurry, we have things to find." Sukh wondered if it was her imagination or had Nite had suddenly developed an Irish accent. "I'm Tammy." "Oh." Sukh thought about it for a moment. She had assumed the girl walking to the stables was Nite, so it was not really Tammy's fault now was it? "No problem. Tammy, let's roll. Jennifer, can you keep up?" Jennifer was getting a leg up from a very familiar looking vampire from another show. Angel gave them both a worried look and started to open his mouth. "Don't even think it," Sukh warned him. "But.. a Chariot?" He watched as Jennifer trotted Coup over next to the Golden Roman conveyance. "Hey, It's an Addict thing." She watched Angel melt back into the velvet shadows of the stables then turned to Tammy as she finally took a hesitant step into the chariot. "Use the wrist straps." Jennifer shot her a look and wrapped the leather securely around her wrists. Sukh turned on her ear comm. "Birkoff, we're rolling." "Where?" Sukh groaned. That was not Birkoff. "Michael, butt out, I'm on a mission." "For that vampire." Michael's French accented voice was deceptively soft. "Yes." "Is that why Birkoff is locating a backhoe?" "Yes, Are you finished interrogating me?" Sukh clicked the horses out of the alley and turned the four-abreast team onto the street at a sedate walk. "For, now." Michael fell silent as she turned on the Chariot's Stereo. Salsa music startled Tammy. "What's that for?" Tammy and Michael asked at the same time. "It helps me drive." She turned to Tammy. "Brace yourself." She yelled to the team Latin, leaned over and slapped the reins on the dark backs of the horses. They took off pell mell with a start and a huge jerk. Sukh gave a good Texas yell as the Chariot flew down the street, Tammy screamed, then clung to the side as Sukh raced down the street. "What the hell was that?" Echoed in her ear comm unit as she leaned low over the front of the chariot and encouraged the horses. "A Chariot." She yelled over the wind. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: "Shele" To: "nunkies" Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Shele Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 20:11:29 -0700 "...mumph...mmrrrr...abandon rate went up? Rrruygn....duplicates in the file." Shele tossed and turned in her bed. "....hmpppn... calls converted to uppercase?!" Sadly, the effort of having two jobs was beginning to wear quite thin on the not-so-young Addict. Finally, with a shouted "Is *anybody* watching the queue?" she woke up from her fitful sleep. "That's it! Call centers and file extracts be damned, I'm outta here. Who's with me?" She gazed across the storm-beaten landscape of her bed. Fredde, her eighteeen pound momma's boy of a cat merely arched his back to extend his body further along hers. Was he signalling his agreement or just trying to lure her into sleepyheadland? His body rolled belly upward and she was made to understand that he would not follow her this time. She looked across to Coquette, the one-eyed pirate cat, who mouthed her assent. Yes, she would follow her beloved person to the ends of the earth -- provided, of course, there would be treats and caresses along the way. "I'll be taking the car and quite possibly an airplane, too." A lone green eye closed and Coquette's head fell dejectedly to the bed. Shele sighed, hoisting herself out of bed. "Now, where to go, where to go? Somewhere I can be happy. Somewhere I can _rest_." A smile crept over her face, , it had been too long since she'd turned herself northward. ******** Hours later, her rental car pulled up in front of the Peach. Its parking lot was oddly empty for a Sunday dinner-ish timeframe and it was only when she approached the door that she saw the crude sign. "'Gone Fishin'? What kind of bull is that?" She raised her voice and directed it at the building. "I want food!" Receiving no answer, much less a hail of foodstuffs, she turned to the shrine. "Guess I'll have to get the old-fashioned way...By stealing." Empty suitcases in the hall, clothing carelessly hanging on the furniture, bickering in the distance -- it could only mean one thing, she was home. Shele smiled to herself, this was just like old times. And just like old times, whoever had left their belongings strewn about the foyer was going to get Grout Duty -- if they got caught, that is. "Whoever left their... undies!... on the General's head is going to be in big trouble, if you-know-who walks in!" She waited for the mad scrambling of Addicts on the run. And waited. The distant noises continued with no sign of abatement, but as she thought about them, the sound was less like bickering and more like scavenging. No, this sound was definitely less furtive than that. "Curious, indeed." "You're very astute, you know." The words, plain and cleanly spoken, draped themselves on her like a lightweight velvet stole. His approach had been silent, as was befitting a creature of his ilk, and only his words had betrayed his presence. She waited, whether to gather enough self control to turn and face him or for him to continue his train of thought, she wasn't sure. When he did resume speaking, it was with words that chilled her to the bone. "They are, indeed, scavenging, and I wish for you to join them. In fact, I have here a list of items I know only you can...." "What a minute. What *one* minute." Shele turned on her heels and stared at the vampire. "I'm not here to work, I'm here on vacation! You know, 'V-A C-A-tion, in the summer sun!'? So you can just take that glare, and the two big blue eyes that are producing it, to someone more intimidated by you. Okay?" "I--" She raised her hand to staunch the flow of words. "I mean it. If playing Age of Empires and eating candy are the only things on that list, then I'm your girl. If they're not, well, good luck with the next Addict who walks through the door." He seemed to carefully consider his next words. "You should know that I've considered revoking your status as Poet Laureate. Your heart doesn't seem to be in it anymore and there are others far more capable on the list. Why even Pa-, Pa-.... *that* *one* has written an oddly amusing refrain or two." "Hey, I suppose that it's your perogitive, and I am quite aware that, despite my feelings, I've hardly written a rhyme in the last few months. Besides, I agree with you, Patt does have a way with words. I'll start moving my stuff out of the alcove right now." Shele paused for a second, then turned to go down the hall. "Wait." Her retreating footsteps stopped, but she didn't turn. "It's a very short list, really. Much shorter than what I've given the others. And.... I've got a present for you... a Darth Maul light saber." Shele turned slowly, "Do I get it now or do I have to wait?" "You can have it when you've brought back all the items on your list." they each thought to themselves. "If I get it then, everybody else will be mad that they didn't get something. But if you let me have it now, I can say I brought it with me. Unless, of course, you _did_ bring everyone gifts and this 'present' isn't so special after all." She watched his face for a sign that he'd been caught, but his eyes were focused on the drapes. She rolled her eyes. "As you wish, I'll have it brought over within the hour." He turned his gaze back to her. "Over time, your behavior has grown exceedingly disrespectful. You're fortunate that I'm so forgiving -- it would not be so difficult to replace you." She turned and continued her trek down the hall, mumbling all the way. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard it before." As she made her way around a corner, she twisted her head and called out over her shoulder, "And I better get a present at the end like everybody else! Oh." LaCroix stood in front of her, a good eighteen inches away. She slowly tilted her head, , until she meet his eyes. "You forgot your list." Before she could retort, he was gone. "....Oh." She looked down at the list. "Oh man! You want me to get fifty gallons of *what*?" She repressed a shudder while opening the door to her room. "I don't _even_ want to know what that's for!" *************** To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 22:23:15 EDT Had to try one more time and see if Christy added more to our arc. This is for Rae. ************* Jill and Javiette moved easily into the anteroom hallway, closing the alley door behind them. "Five-foot-nine and how much?" the shorter addict looked up at her companion as they walked down the hall. "That's about it," Jill replied. "Depends on the heels and my ego." Rae giggled. She clicked along in her boots, matching the taller addict stride for stride. The women broke from the hallway into the main Shrine chamber and looked around. Rae noticed Jill's awestruck look and grinned. "First time?" Jill nodded. "This is even grander than I expected. Makes a girl proud to be a Nunkies Addict." "I'm still a Vacquera first," Rae smiled, "hence the nickname Javiette. Vachon is my main man. Black and motorcycles till I die." "Uhh, huhh," Jill smiled back. "Is that why you wear a little General on your bootie there?" "A girl has to cover all angles," the shorter, blonde addict grinned widely. "Besides, he makes an excellent chin smasher, when necessary." The women continued across the expanse of the room, stopping briefly to emit sighs at the Shrine alter. "Where do you think the others are?" Jill said, looking around the room. "Probably in the kitchen, scarfing chocolate and that Tari . . .Tari . . . wafer stuff," Javiette replied. "Let's go check out the lab." The two women were disappointed to find no other addicts in the room, but were delighted at the find they did make. Javiette went straight to the refrigerator and found what she sought--a large platter of Death-by-Chocolate and a bottle of Roman Candle. "Ahhhhhh," Rae said, the rapture clearly defined in her voice. "The NA's know how to eat almost as good as the FODs. Ever been to one of the picnics?" "Nope, but I'm sure they're something to write about," Jill replied. "Hey, what's this?" She reached down to retrieve a piece of paper which had fluttered to the floor. "I think it fell off the refrigerator door when you closed it." Javiette took the sheet, skimmed it and noted the signature at the bottom. "Darn," she grunted, tossing the paper away. "Patt is still trying to give the orders. Guess she needs another lesson in how to behave." "Wait a second, Rae," Jill said, retrieving the note. "This says that these are LaCroix's orders." "Patt and LaCroix aren't exactly on speaking terms, if I remember right," Javiette snorted. "Why would she be acting as his sergeant, or something like that?" "I understand your animosity toward the Third Cousin, Javiette, knowing your history. But, do you really want to risk not carrying out this assignment in case it *is* at Nunkies' directive?" Rae chewed her Death thoughtfully, mulling over Jill's words. "What does that note say again?" "'If you arrive at the Shrine and find this note,'" Jill read from the list segment, "'your assignment is to secure the following three items: A 6-foot adobe cineraria with five outlet chambers, six-hundred peach votive candles with matching silver-lace holders and enough garland to shroud the Shrine proper. ~~ Third Cousin Patt.'" "And the postscript?" Javiette narrowed her eyes at the taller woman. "'And, if you have time, please scrub Screed's face.'" Jill looked up from the paper, smiling sheepishly. "I'm gonna break that addict's face," Javiette took a long draught from her Candle. "I'm gonna kick her till I can't kick no more . . . right after I run some errands." ******************************* From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 23:56:13 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy To: nunkies@world.std.com The chic female vampire stared blankly at the two women. "Decorating tips? How about a few wardrobe tips instead?" she said, sniffing disdainfully. "Nope, Janette, not tonight," Patt answered quickly, seeing that Christy was highly tempted and seemed enthralled by Janette's shoes. "LaCroix wants to redecorate the shrine for the NunkMommy's homecoming, and he has us all running our little tushies off to get it done by tomorrow evening. Decorating tips...now, please. You know how he gets when he has a bee in his bonnet." "Shoes...cute shoes," Christy said as her eyes glazed over. "Shoes are good. We like shoes." The Third Cousin smacked her, effectively breaking the trance. "No shoes. Not now. Decorating, remember?" "Sorry, o mature mentor. Shoes and chocolate are my main weaknesses." "Just don't let it happen again." Janette observed the exchange and shook her head solemnly. "Addicts," she sighed. "And LaCroix chides Nicolas for having his human pets." She rolled her eyes. "Lah." Gliding gracefully from the bar stool, she led the women toward her private rooms. She looked closely at Patt. "Aren't you the one so often in disfavor?" "That would be me." She glanced at Christy. "And you're following her around? Are you suicidal, dear?" Christy glanced at Patt. "Well, I had my doubts at first, but things really seem to be going quite smoothly. I am a newbie addict, after all, and in need of guidance. Heck, I'm actually beginning to feel like we might just get through this weekend with our necks intact." She smiled broadly. It was right about then that all H-E-double hockey sticks chose to break loose at the Raven. ************************* From: "Tranquility Starr" To: "Nunkies Anonymous" Subject: NA: hehe Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 00:58:55 -0500 Aw, heck, why not? Tranq. ~~~~~~~~~~ "Darn jetlag." The short little addict with the outgrowing red hair adjusted her sunglasses and squinted at the slip of paper in her hand. She remembered that the back entrance was in the alley, and she slipped around the side of the building, toting her bag. Eww...nice dumpsters...but she was rewarded with the back door. Quietly, she turned the knob and slipped in. Tranq'd never been in the Jeweled Peach before, so was promptly astounded by the opulence. Her eyes went to the suitcases, sprawled clothes, and lacy white undies. "Darnit, did I miss the fun?" Her bag went thumping to the floor, as she began to explore... "Hello????" ************************** From: "Nite Flyer" To: Subject: NA: A bit of treasure Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 02:51:49 -0400 Little did i realize that a mere ordinary day could suddenly place me (to my joyful glee) in The Shrine of His majesty Nunkies..........and so my thoughts wandered (where all good NA members thoughts usually wander) ........I share them with my dear comrads and call this little one TREASURE .........Timeless does gold so shine in a dream where life is ours, to grab a distant shining star and fly from looming towers...Our castle just a glimpse away from shady groves beyond, my heart of heart's abandon still holding one true love....My keepsake so delighting, every sense and taste, exploring and enticing uncharted, savored place......A territory unexplained invited in my life, the one I turn to calling in every depth of night.....My grace and pleasure yours, Lacroix in shadows mine. My lord of lost illusions, the gem I longed to find............ (Happy hunting ladies and thanks for fitting me in Summer D.) Niteflyer................... **************************************** From: Ravenx3744@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 04:03:35 EDT Subject: Re: NA: Doldrums To: nunkies@world.std.com Wow, I know I'm behind, but I got a really good excuse! I was stuck in the middle of the desert camping (ick). Anyways I'll give this a shot. I know it's short but I'm still recovering from my camping ordeal =^_^= --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Talia stepped out of the cab, a large suitcase in one hand and a blue cat carrier in the other. She was wearing a black t-shirt with a vampiric smiley face on it, black cut off jeans, and combat boots with smiley face laces. Her reddish brown har hung loose and she blew her bangs away from her face. She walked tentativly into Nunkie's Shrine looking around. "Um, Hello?" she called out. A mewing sound came from the cat carrier. Talia put down her suitcase and opened the carrier. A small black and white tuxedo cat, who looked more like he was part ferret and rabbit with a small pink nose and a spiked collar, crawled out. "You okay Thorne?" she cooed as she patted him on the head. Thorne squeaked at her and looked around his surroundings. Talia saw his eyes go wide when he realized that he was in a new place that was just ripe for exploring. She tried to grab him, but he was too fast as he skidded down the hallway. "Augh! Thorne, come back!" she screamed as she abandoned her luggage. She wandered down hallways hoping that some vampire wouldn't find Thorne and think he was an after dinner snack. ************************************* From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 10:42:47 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--More Christy; More Raven To: nunkies@world.std.com Sorry, woke up with an inspiration and had to act upon it. ****************** A strident female voice could be heard over the music. "They're here! I know they are! I saw Patt's truck! Let me in, you animated side of beef!" The vampiress and her two human charges turned to see a woman struggling with the muscular bouncer, trying desperately to get inside. The aforementioned side of beef was having a hard time keeping his hands on her, though. The raving lunatic could dodge like a number one, draft pick running back. Christy turned to Patt and said, "Is this where we yell, 'Look, a dinosaur!?'" "Nah, kid. We save that one for *real* emergencies. That's just Glennis." She smiled. "Janette, why don't you just let her in before something...untoward...happens." The owner of the Raven glared balefully at the addicts. "Mon dieu! If you were not LaCroix's, I would kill you all myself!" She gestured to the bouncer, and the woman walked by him calmly, but couldn't resist the temptation to stick out her tongue at him as she passed. She'd never heard a side of beef growl before.... "Glennis!" Christy squealed. "Finally, we meet outside of a chat room!" The two addicts hugged. "Hey, I needed to escape from the family for a while, anyway." Glennis smiled. "I hate to break up this tender reunion," Janette spat, "but I believe you ladies...and I use the term loosely...are here for a purpose. Let us accomplish this purpose so that you may be out of my unlife as quickly as possible, non?" She whirled and strode toward her quarters, the mortals following her as quickly as possible. As she entered the tastefully decorated boudoir, she grabbed a book from the shelf and shoved it toward the three. "Here! This book holds all of my best decorating secrets. Take it and leave this place!" Patt reached out for the book, then recoiled in fear. "No way I'm touching THAT!" Glennis and Christy peeked from behind Patt at the cover of the book. Gasping, they shielded their eyes much as vampires cowering in front of a religious icon. "Such cruelty, Janette!" gasped Patt. "I knew there was darkness in you, but THIS..." She gestured at the book, the cover of which read: "French Country Decorating: Spend a Weekend, Get a Whole New Look" by M. Stewart. "You know, Patt," Christy said with a pleading look, "I watch a whole lot of the Home & Garden Channel. I'll bet I could fake it with the decorating stuff. Let's face it, I'd rather get drained on the spot than have to read one of Stewart's books." She looked at the cover and then averted her eyes again quickly. "You're probably right," said the mature addict. "At least with fangs in your throat the dying's quick." The Third Cousin looked at Janette. "Thanks, but no thanks. I guess we're just gonna have to handle this one on our own. Is there a back way out of here?" "Yes," the vampire hissed, deep blue eyes beginning to glitter with golden flecks. "And the sooner you use it, the better off we *all* shall be." ************************************************* To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt -- Tranq, Talia and Ary From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 11:46:01 EDT Tranquility Starr picked up the lacy underwear gingerly, and dropped it quickly to the floor. "Hello!!!!" she called out again, only to be answered by silence. Tranq continued to explore the Shrine, savoring the wondrous decadence she'd only been able to read about up until this moment. "I'm in the Sacred Shrine of Nunkies," Tranq breathed aloud. "I am truly blessed." The tiny redhead continued her exploration, touching busts here, running her fingers along tapestries there. "Odd, though," she began to think aloud, "that no one has appeared to greet me. The NA group doesn't have a reputation for shyness, and I've never heard of this place being empty. Wait a minute! I'll bet they're all practicing their trampoline skills. That would explain the flying underwear!!!" With not a small bit of excitement, Tranq retraced her steps and headed for the rear main area of the Shrine. Since the trampoline had not been set up in the large anteroom off the Shrine proper, she suspected it might be in one of the game rooms. A small streak of fur passed between her legs, causing Tranq to lose balance and pitch forward, just as Talia came round the corner. CRASH, BANG, BOOM, THUD, ETC. ETC. ETC. The collision was spectacular. Arms, legs, torsos -- all entwined in a complex jumble which even sophisticated computer graphics would have been hard-pressed to duplicate. "MEOWWWWEEEEERRRR" "THORNE!!!!" One of the entangled addicts shouted. "Here, kitty! Don't go being breakfast, pleeeeaaasssseee!" "Get your smiley foot off my hand!" Tranq shouted into Talia's ear. "Get your hand off my butt!" Talia retorted. She twisted her head and watched in dismay as the small black and white cat disappeared between two columns. "Don't get excited," Tranq braced her free hand against Talia's shoulder and pushed hard. "And, hold still if you want us to get free." "Who made you boss?" Talia yelped as Tranq pushed hard against her. Then, noticing the red hair, Talia's voice grew a bit smaller. "You're not the High Priestess of Nunkies, are you?" "Never met the lady . . . and I use the term with reverence," Tranq said, unable to suppress a grin. "In fact, this is my very first time in this den of vestality. Now, stop struggling, take a deep breath and hold still." Talia's eyes grew sharp. "What are you gonna . . . . doooooooooooooowwwwwwwwweeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" "There!" Tranq cried triumphantly, pulling her leg through Talia's crossed ankles. "We're free." "You killed one of my smileys!" Talia protested, staring at her torn boot lace which lay dis-raveled on the floor. "Plenty of smiles to go around," Tranq said, hustling up off the tile and extending a hand to the other addict. "Especially when Nunkies makes an appearance." *sigh* Talia echoed Tranq's sigh and accepted the help up. Then she remembered her purpose for running helter skelter though the Shrine. "THORNE!!" "Don't worry about your cat," Tranq assured the other addict. "No Carouches in residence this story. [so far] so no one should be looking to chomp down on her. She'll probably hook up with some of the other Shrine critters and have an adventure of his own. From what I understand, depending on who's in residence at the time, they house quite a menagerie around here--cats, dogs, birds, goats, camels, horses, a donkey and even an iguana." Talia's face brightened. "That sounds reassuring." "Yep," Tranq grinned, moving away from the other women. "At worst, kitty Thorne would be a side dish -- hardly worth a nip." "Hey!" Talia moved threateningly to follow the other woman, but stopped short before she ran into the back of the now-still addict. She looked over Tranq's shoulder (not a hard thing to do) and felt her mouth plop open in awe. Just entering the Shrine was an interesting visage dressed in green tunic and jeans. "Who are you supposed to be -- Robinette Hood?" Tranq quipped. "Nope, just an addict here to follow my General into battle," the new arrival said proudly. "I am Evil Freshman Arymede. I got the message to come and dropped everything." "Except your cutlery," Talia grinned, reaching out to stroke one of the knives in Ary's bandolier. "Kind of makes you hungry, don't it?" "Time for a trip to the kitchen/lab?" Tranq suggested eagerly. "I've heard that the eighth wonder of the world is in there." "Yummmm," Ary agreed. "Evil Freshmen live for food, and the thought of torturing Freshmen when we're Sophomores. Hehehehehe." "Wait a minute," Talia said, her voice suddenly edgy. She reached out and caught Tranq by the shoulder. "Don't the rats live in there?" "RatPackers," Tranq corrected the other woman. "And, so far I haven't heard or seen any of them--active ones anyway." "Still, don't you think we should look elsewhere first? Like for reinforcements?" Talia suggested hopefully. "Maybe Tal's right," Ary said, sensing Talia's extreme discomfort. "Let's go check out some things before we hit the kitchen." "Okay," Tranq agreed. "I was heading to the game room anyway when I *ran into* Tal. Why don't we go there first." Their destination agreed upon, the three addicts headed for the rear Shrine area. Noting no one in the glass-enclosed soundproof communications room, they kept moving. They almost passed the door marked "Green Room," but something jogged in Ary's brain and she couldn't resist pushing the wood and vines aside. Talia and Tranq were down the hall when they heard Ary's gasp of excitement. Hurrying back to the room, Tranq and Talia skidded to a stop when they saw Ary standing, in rapturous state, next to the edge of the . . . "Sacred Pond of Nunkies," Ary sighed. Talia walked over, peeked over the rim of the water and began to nod. "Yep, it's our pond all right. And there's old Screedo just a-grinning at us." The three women looked at each other, their faces twisting in disgust. "Yeowwwwwww," they cried in unison. "Appropriate reaction which I would expect from anyone who claims to follow me," the deep velvet voice spoke from behind the addicts. Slowly, Talia, Tranq and Ary all rotated and stared at the figure in black, now standing before them. "Welcome, my newly acquired nieces," LaCroix smiled with sharkish friendliness. "I'm delighted that you responded to my summons so promptly and," he looked pointedly at Ary's attire, "with such . . . enthusiasm. Now, here are your assignments." ************************* From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 12:03:23 EDT Subject: NA: Doldrum---Jen and Coup To: nunkies@world.std.com It doesn't look like this worked when I sent it last night, sooo.... Ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble!!! ------------------------------------------------ Jennifer leaned low over Coup's neck as they galloped with the General's chariot team. She had to admit, those horses were like nothing she'd ever seen before. The Friesan's were massive, and their black coats immaculate. Not to mention those bodies were amazing. She'd kill to own horses with those builds. Their massive chests and hindquarters, and their slender, well-formed legs promised balance, strength, speed, and agility unmatched by any other animals in existance. Sukh was a pretty good handler, too. Jennifer wondered where she'd learned to drive. She was also *extremely* grateful that Coup hadn't had to help pull the chariot. She didn't really want to see him harnessed to *anything,* not after what she'd heard of the *last* time he'd been hitched to a cart. At the moment, she was also too bewildered by the events to think about the fact that she was actually letting her horse gallop. After Nunkies had met her outside the Shrine, he'd asked her to follow him. In a few minutes, she'd found herself at the Sacred Stables. Her jaw dropped when she realized that there was such a place. Her pulse quickened at the thought of what could be inside. Was Nunkies a horse enthusiast? Had he known the great horsemen of the ages? What did he know of Xenophon, or Colonel Alois Podhajsky? Had he seen the Godolphin Arabian, Secretariat, or Man O' War first hand? It was only after she realized that both Coup and LaCroix were giving her odd stares that she stopped fantasising about Nunkies's horsiness and focused on the matter at hand. Whatever that was... "Now, Jennifer, I have a very *special* job for you," the General purred in her ear. They'd stopped just outside the stable doors. "I want *you* to help your fellow Addicts prepare my horses and chariot." "You want me to *what*?" Jennifer exclaimed. "Come now, Jennifer, you've been working with horses for over six years. I should think that a little thing like this wouldn't phase you." "But LaCoix, it's been three years since I've actually harnessed a horse, and even then I had a *lot* of help." Her protest was met by silence and an icy cold stare. Jennifer bowed her head and sighed. "All right," she said, "I'll do my best." LaCoix smiled -in his own way-. "That's my Chevalier Addict," he said, taking her chin in his hand and tilting her head so her eyes met his. "I'm counting on you, ma chere." With that, he disappeared, leaving Jennifer and Coup alone. And so, Jennifer found herself inside the Stable, grooming four magnificent stallions. Each had his own grooming kit, with the finest brushes available, and on his stall was posted a name and list of the things LaCroix wanted Jennifer to do. This one needed sugar, that one a gentle back rub to ease his tension. To make matters more complicated, LaCroix wanted the horses clipped. Jennifer rumaged around until she finally found the electric clippers, and set to work cutting bridle paths and shaving whiskers. When she was finally finished, she thanked every supreme being she knew off that the General had not wanted the horses to be braided. She was going out the door to check on Coup when she noticed a piece of yellow legal paper tacked to a message board. It was addressed to her... from Uncle. She sighed yet again and took it up. A few minutes later, Sukh and Tammy found her outside the Stable, fretting over the list and the task of harnessing the team. With their help, the four horses -Julius, Cassius, Brutus, and Antony- were soon ready to go. As they travelled further from the Sacred Stables, a question popped into Jennifer's mind. "Hey Sukh!" Jennifer yelled over the wind of their passage. "What's the deal with Angel? You known each other long?" "Ask me when we get there," Sukh responded. Jen gladly dropped the subject when she realized that, though the chariot had clear passage on its side, there was an old log blocking her path. "Well, Coup," she muttered, "it's time to show off, I guess." She sat up and slowed him to a decent pace, counting her rythm carefully as they approached the obstacle. When the time came, Coup gathered himself and launched his half ton form over the barrier. Jennifer whooped as they landed on the other side. Sukh smiled at her, but Tammy stared at her like she was nuts. Jen laughed and said "It's what I live for, besides Nunkies, at least." They finally slowed to a brisk trot and then a walk when they neared an old building. They stopped at an old farm building. Jen dismouted and threw Coup's reins over his head and his stirrups over his saddle. The other two Addicts left the chariot after Sukh secured the reins so they wouldn't get tangled in the team's feet. "So, what are we here for?" aked a slightly pale Tammy. Jen held up her list. "The original 'Ben Hur' chariot harnesses. They are purported to be kept in that barn. Oh yah, he also wants us to find the 'undiscovered' works by some Baroque artist in there. Can't remember which one..." "In there?" Tammy asked, eyeing the decrepit structure. "Come on, where's your sense of adventure?" Sukh said. Jennifer and Coup were already heading in. She took Tammy in tow and followed. ---------------------------------------------- Okay, who wants to take up the storyline and explain the Ben Hur thing? To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Patt -- Patt/Christy/Glennis From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 12:34:24 EDT Hey Christy! You go girl. Your morning inspiration was divine!! And, Sukh, looks like Christy nabbed Glennis away from you. Oh, well. *********************** The three women ran swiftly out the back door of the Raven, halting briefly in the alley to catch their breath. "That was a near escape." Glennis puffed in exhaustion. "Almost as scary as a hard drive crash. What do we do now?" Patt was bent over, hands pressed against her knees, her chest heaving. "I'm thinking." "That's even scarier," Glennis responded. "I wanted a bar fight," Christy pouted. Patt glared at her. "You'd better be glad that you wrote the Martha S. thingee, 'cause if you'd started a bar fight at the Raven, we'd all be anatomical study aids about now. You do *not* stage bar fights in the Raven." "I want a bar fight," Christy repeated. "Don't worry, Chris," Glennis walked over and draped an arm around the newbies' shoulder. "This is Patt writing--there *will* be a bar fight before the weekend is over. It just needs to be on neutral ground--away from fanged types." Glennis looked at Patt for confirmation. "Right?" The mature addict growled in reply, straightening her posture at the same time. "Right," Glennis concluded, clasping her hands together. "Now, what's next on the list?" Patt eyed the new arrival with suspicion. "What do you know about the list?" "Errr, ahhh, errrr, ahhh . . ." Glennis grinned crookedly. "A . . . friend told me?" "What friend?" Patt pressed, her tone allowing for no argument. "Errrr, ahhh . . . Vachon." Glennis shrugged her shoulders, her grin fading slightly. "Damn Slacker!" Patt shouted upward as the darkened alley resounded with a dark chuckle. "Get out of my hard drive!!!" "Get a new computer!" the voice of the Spaniard bounced off the buildings lining the alley. "You sure do need one. It is getting awfully cramped in this old 486." "Like I don't know!!!" Patt shouted back. "Whow! Talk about dinosaurs," Christy offered. "Patt?" The Third Cousin whirled to find Glennis smiling sheepishly at her. "Can we go for camel rides?" Patt threw up her hands, turned and began stalking up the alley. "Sure, why not? I'm just a poor abused addict with nothing to do but tax my imagination to please the masses. Bar fights, camel rides -- I'm just here to amuse everyone. That's my calling." Mumble, mumble, mumble. Christy and Glennis glanced at each other, then obediently began following the swiftly striding Patt out of the alley. They were too far away, however, to effectively intervene in what happened next. As Patt reached the far end of the alley, a dark black car of expensive design braked suddenly in front of the path of the mature addict. Two very large young men jumped from the Jaguar and bustled a howling Patt into the vehicle. Doors slammed and the car sped off, leaving Christy and Glennis gaping in its wake. "Someone has kidnapped the Third Cousin!" Christy cried, coming to her vocal senses first. "What do we do now?" "I have Patt's spare truck keys," Glennis said, holding up the ring. "Let's give chase!" "But, I have Nunkies' list!" Christy replied. "Which is more important -- saving the mature one . . . or doing Nunkies bidding?" The women stared at each other for a moment. "What's next on the list?" ********************************* Okay, Chris. You and Glen have fun. I'll be back with you both in the future. Patt ___________________________________________________________________ From: JBejar1989@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 13:05:16 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Jill & Javiette To: nunkies@world.std.com "A 6-foot adobe cineraria with five outlet chambers, six-hundred peach votive candles with matching silver-lace holders and enough garland to shroud the Shrine proper. What on earth is a cineraria?" exclaimed Javiette. "Well, it says here that a cineraria is a common hot house plant of the composite family with heart shaped leaves and colorful flowers. A cinerarium is a place to keep ashes of cremated bodies and a cinerator is a furnace for cremation." Jill pronounced triumphantly as she closed the Websters New World Dictionary before returning it to the depths of her purse/backpack. "What? What?" Jill held out a handful of honey sticks and nonchalantly tucked the handcuffs that had fallen out of the bag, back in. "Honey stick?" she offered. Javiette blinked. "Thanks." "Hmmmm...Candles, holders, and garland...Check, check, and check." Jill crossed the appropriate items off the list. "What? Where?" asked Javiette with a puzzled look. "In the back of the van." Jill shrugged and offered Javiette a sheepish grin. "The girls' Bridging ceremony was last week and I haven't unloaded the extra stuff yet." "Ok, a 6-foot adobe cineraria with five outlet chambers...not your common hothouse flower I presume. I don't know about you, but I do not want to be the addict responsible for bringing a large furnace type object into the shrine." Javiette looked inquiringly at the taller addict. Jill nodded back. "I vote we hold off on that until we get confirmation from a more reliable source. Soooooo...that leaves...." Both women wandered towards the sacred cold pond. "No way, no how am I going to..." Jill began. Rae reached over and grabbed her arm. Both addicts turned to each other and began to smile. There was only one reason the three addicts standing at the side of the pool would have that look on their faces. They quickly scanned the room for signs of Nunkies. "Damn! We missed him." Jill muttered. "Just my luck." Rae looked over at Jill and whispered quietly. Two sets of blue eyes met in perfect understanding, and a dangerous grin spread across their faces. "Meltdown alert!" they called in unison. Water balloons filled the air as they began to bombard the three dazed addicts as fast as they could produce them from the bag slung over Jill's shoulder. ************************** Well, I'm on my out the door. Off to Toronto for real to see Nigel at a charity appearance tonite. Play nice... See you tomorrow.... Jill aka the shy one From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 16:33:50 EDT Subject: Re: NA: Doldrum Update--the players To: nunkies@world.std.com It's short. It's probably cheesy. It's what you get when Mom's cleaning house and telling me to get off the computer. :-) ------------------------------------------------- It turned out not to be *too* hard to find what they were looking for in the barn. The paintings were stored in the loft amongst the remains of straw bales. They were covered with dust sheets and in remarkably good condition. They had the typical feeling of Baroque art, detailed and passionate, but one thing made them stand out. Each of the figures depicted in them had glowing eyes of green, yellow, and even red. A few of the subjects had fangs exposed, and all were obviously vampires. The chariot harnesses were easier to find. They were hung in the tack room on blunt iron hooks fixed to the crumbling walls. Jennifer sneezed as she lifted them up and threw two sets over Coup's back and the other two sets over her shoulders. The leather was gray with dust, and the brass tarnished. "I wouldn't be surprised if my list says to clean these off, too," she muttered. Then, she put them into the chariot with the paintings and mounted her horse. "Well, O gracious experienced one," she said to Sukh as the other Addict took up the team's reins, "where to now?" "We have a backhoe to meet, or did you forget?" Jen slapped her forehead with her hand. "Yes, I did. Why do we need a backhoe?" "For one thing, Nunkies wants it. Now let's get going, okay?" "Yes Ma'am," Jennifer said, throwing a cheesy mock salute. Sukh urged the team into a brisk trot and Coup followed without being asked. On their way, Sukh tossed some questions at Tammy. "So, Tammy, can you drive a backhoe?" "I could try," Tammy said. "Good," said Sukh, "otherwise I'd have to teach you to drive these boys." She nodded towards the horses. "Uh, Sukh," Jennifer suddenly said. "Yes?" asked the more experienced Addict. "Care to tell me why Screed and about five other Carouche-looking vampires are standing in the middle of the road?" ------------------------------------------------- Your turn, Sukh. :-) From: "Tranquility Starr" To: Subject: NA: Re: Summer Doldrums--Patt -- Tranq, Talia and Ary Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 17:15:54 -0500 Ahhhh!!! The first thing she saw after looking was a green water balloon as it pelted her in the face. Tranq. was not happy! ~~~~~~~ Sorry for the cruddy post, guys, I'm sleep-deprived as it is. I think I'll demote my status from writer to participant. I hereby allow you guys to do anything you wish with me except anything involving livestock. Tranq. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 17:48:19 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy & Glennis sans Patt To: nunkies@world.std.com "You know," Christy said to Glennis, "that black Jag looked kinda familiar. Wish we could've gotten the tag number. Think maybe we should call Nicky-poo and alert him to the fact that I'm missing my mature mentor?" "Hey, Patt's good at taking care of herself. Besides, TOG would like nothing more than to stick us all behind bars and throw away the key." Glennis said as she skillfully maneuvered Patt's truck through the Toronto traffic. "Um, you don't think the slacker's going to try to wrest story control from us, do you? I mean, how could he have known to tell you about the list if he hadn't been reading? And what if he's reading ahead again?" "Never mind about that now. If he's of a mind to try to get story control again, he'll give it a try. If not, he'll lay low. Slacker that he is, he'll probably just sit back and let US do all the hard work. Now, what's the next item on the list?" "Oh my," Christy said in a small voice. "Oh my." "What is it?" "This one's going to get us in trouble. I *knew* if I followed the Third Cousin around too long, I'd wind up a fugitive from Canadian justice! I'll probably wind up surrounded by Mounties!" the redhead wailed. She stopped short as she considered her last statement and grinned. "Well, okay, so maybe being surrounded by Mounties wouldn't be so bad...." Glennis was beginning to lose patience with her friend, the ex-Queen o'Denial. "What ARE you blathering about?" "The Loft. We have to go to the Loft and get TOG's universal remote." Glennis considered the statement. "Well," she offered, "at least he doesn't kill people anymore." "Yeah, but with a couple of addicts, what do you want to bet he'll consider a return to the dark side? *Especially* if those addicts steal his beloved universal remote." "Well, in that case, YOU get to do it. I'll wait in the getaway vehicle. You're so new, you could plead ignorance. You know, just say it was an initiation prank or something." "Couldn't we just find the nearest Wal-Mart and buy an exact duplicate?" Glennis gave Christy a level look. "You really want to take the chance that Nunkies won't know the difference?" Christy sighed and said, "Let's go get the durn thing. At least it's the next to last item on this godawful list." ************************** To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Patt -- Jules/Patt From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 17:54:14 EDT Wedged between the two Amana-sized menfolk squeezed into the backseat of the Jaguar, Patt felt a bit uneasy. Lifting her eyes slightly, she began assessing the situation. The first thing she noticed was expected--the auburn tresses of the High Priestess of Nunkies gleamed like flame before her eyes. The second thing she noticed was unexpected. Instead of the HP occupying the coveted driver seat, a burly fellow in chauffeur attire was behind the wheel. "Hey, Jules." Patt tried to make her voice as cheerful as possible. "Long time, no see." "For which you should be grateful," the HP replied, never turning her head. Silence. "Errrr, Jules." "Yes, Patt." "What's with the bodyguards and the driver-type? Don't you usually like driving yourself?" A dark snort, followed by a choking cough. "LaCroix felt it might be ... safer if I had a driver, at least until that minor accident last War is expunged from my record." Silence. "Jules?" "Yes, Patt." "I'm getting kinda cramped back here? Are we going to be driving for long?" "I'm not sure, dear." Jules turned her profile to Patt and addressed the driver. "Fleet, just how far away *is* Lake Ontario?" A few moments later, the Jaguar braked easily in front of a small, but busy, coffee shop. Helped by one of the back seat boys, Jules exited the vehicle. "Wait here," she instructed the men, then turned to face Patt for the first time. "You, come with me." Cappucinos ordered, the women sat opposite each other. "So, how goes the *scavenger* hunt?" Jules asked easily. "Okay," Patt said, trying to sound calm. Then she grinned. "Is that why you're back in town--LaCroix summoned you, too?" "I did change my Paris vacation plans somewhat, upon Nunkies' request," Jules replied, inspecting her perfectly manicured fingernails. "Called you back to do grunt work like the rest of us," Patt's grin broadened. Jules' eyes glittered dangerously. "Careful, Elmore. I still have the power to punish you--severely." Patt sat back, subdued. "That's better," Jules noted. "Now, back to your task list--how much more do have to do until you've completed it?" Patt sat up, now grinning proudly. "Just about got it all done. Maybe I'll make Nunkies proud this . . ." The Third Cousin's face was growing quite crestfallen as her patting of pockets produced no Nunkies' list. "Don't bother, Patt. You don't have the list anymore," Jules took a sip of her recently arrived coffee and smiled sweetly. "It was pilfered while you were at the Raven." "Now who would have done that?" Patt complained, but grew quiet as the HP's smile widened. "You?" "I was at the Raven when you and your two . . . friends, bumbled into the club," Jules said. "Knowing approximately your reason for being there, I asked one of Janette's *friends* to lift the note from your person. Since it wasn't particularly interesting, and I perceived that your personal attention would not be needed to finish the tasks, I instructed Janette's friend to return the note to one of the other addicts--Christy? She seems to be rather bright . . ." "So I'm not needed anymore, as usual," Patt sat back dejected. "Another failure chalked up for good, old Elmore." "Don't worry yourself about it, dear. This whole project was doomed from the start." Patt gave Jules a wary look. It wasn't too often that the HP had anything ill to say about anything relating to LaCroix. Jules' statement of her feelings about LaCroix's remodeling plans was almost sacrilege. "Errrr, are you through with me?" Patt was very uncomfortable sitting this close to the auburn haired priestess. "No," Jules replied. With elegant grace, the HP reached into her bag and extracted a rolled parchment scroll with polished ivory handles, neatly tied with a strand of silk cord. "While you were off gathering trinkets, I was given orders to supervise the actual construction." Jules loosed the cord and gently spread the parchment out on the table. "WOW!" Patt breathed out a gasp as the plans were spread out before her. "Check out that new fireplace! What's that squiggly line there?" The Third Cousin indicated a curve which ran across the length of the Shrine proper." "We'll get to that in a minute," Jules said impatiently. "Right now, I'd like you to look at the second floor." "What second floor?" Patt blinked. "It's gone." "Exactly," Jules agreed. "Nunkies' redecorating plans call for gutting almost two-thirds of the addict sleeping cells to create a Sacred Upper Meditation and Study room. Also, the plans call for enlarging the sleeping quarters of the NunkMommy, High Priestess and Scribe." "Figures," Patt muttered. Then she pointed to an area on the scroll. "There are four bedrooms, Jules. Who gets the fourth one?" "Down, girl," Jules admonished. "That room has been designated for the ScoutMistress. Nunkies feels that with her duties--keeping track of the scouts and their numerous, often delicate, activities-- the ScoutMistress needs extra space in which to work." "That, and he's always had a soft spot for Fleurette," Patt muttered again. Then something caught the Louisiana woman's eye. "Jules . . . what is this little room added on to your bedroom here?" "Oh," Jules smiled sweetly. "That's my new private billiards room." "Ahhhhh." "Back to business," Jules said, shaking off her glazed look. "Yea, with the second floor sleeping chambers gone, where does Nunkies plan for us to sleep?" Patt whined. "This is where LaCroix's construction plans become more . . . profuse," Jules replied. She rolled the scroll out further. "He would like to add a third floor of more elegant sleeping chambers," she stretched out more of the parchment, "and build a rooftop courtyard," she rolled it out further, "a wall-based, covered walkway," further still, "and *turrets.*" *sigh* "KEWL!" Patt's eyes were fixed on the marvelous modifications which Nunkies had proposed. She looked up at Jules and spoke eagerly. "Can we build a tower, too? To keep the baddies, like the Grand High Poobah, in? Huhh, can we?" "How do you propose we pay for this?" Jules asked quietly. "Isn't Nunkies going to pay for it? "There's nothing in the plans that would indicate that to be fact," Jules sighed, rerolling the scroll and retieing the ribbon. "And, with us already having problems with the Canadian tax people and our money problems with the Cayman bank account . . ." "We're flat broke," Patt finished for the HP. "That's about it," Jules agreed unhappily. "Therefore this project is just that . . . just a project." "Just a dream," Patt nodded. "And all of our work has been for nothing but LaCroix's amusement." "Perhaps not," Jules smiled. "Most of what the addicts have been gathering so far is garnish, and can be used in the Shrine as it currently stands. And, as it was chosen with Annie's tastes in mind, it will make a nice homecoming celebration for her." "Okay, but the others are going to be disappointed that their efforts were kind of wasted, considering what the ultimate end would have been." "But," Jules instructed the other addict, "only *we* know of the real construction plans. Unless we tell them, the addicts will be clueless and, therefore, no happy little triumphs will be dashed." Patt thought this over for a minute. "I see what you're saying. Say nothing, and votive candles will be good enough." "Exactly. And, to make everyone feel even better, I suggest we throw a little *victory* celebration." Jules reached for her cell phone and began punching numbers into the device. "I'll make reservations at Ying's Things--it's a new Chinese restaurant which makes a Kuo Pa Jou Tin to absolutely die for." "Sound's good," Patt grinned. "And, I guess we should actually be happy that the actual building plans fell through. Just think about how ticked off a certain little person of our mutual acquaintance would have been if she'd have had to go onto the website and put up a new floor plan .gif." Jules smiled slightly in reply. "Patt, one other thing." "Yes, Jules? "There's a backhoe parked in the Jaguar's parking spot in front of the Peach. Move it." "Yes, Ma'am." ********************************* Okay, guys. The weekend adventure is about to wind down for me. You can keep hunting if you'd like, but anyone who wants to be in the restaurant/fight arc should have their search arcs wrapped up and be heading for Ying's Things by 7 p.m. CST. I'll log on at 7:15 and check for posts at that time, then write and post the *bar fight.* Thanks for joining in. You've all done great!! Patt ************************ From: "Tranquility Starr" To: Subject: Re: NA: RE: Ary, Tranq and Talia Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:42:10 -0500 After the well-aimed water balloon beaned her in the face, she jumped back, and dove for cover behind a pillar holding a bust of Nunkies....Hehehee...they wouldn't dare throw anymore her way, lest the destroy the precious bust.... What she wouldn't give for her paintball gun right now! Tranq. searched for Talia and Ary, and spotted them behind a nearby palm. "Guys! We're kinda out numbered! Ideas would be really skeggin' right about now." *************** From: Ravenx3744@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 20:07:14 EDT Subject: Re: NA: RE: Ary, Tranq and Talia To: nunkies@world.std.com Talia shrieked as a water balloon exploded on the back of her head. She dove for cover behind a convieniantly placed potted plant. She winced when she saw one of the water balloons hit Tranq squarly in the face. Talia reached in her pockets to see if she had anything useful to help them out. All she could find was a handfull of pixie stix. She smacked herself in the head when she realized all her good stuff was in her suitcase which she left somewhere in one of the hallways. Talia turned to Ary, who had joined her behind the plant as they were pelted by more balloons. "Got any ideas on what we should do? I'm all fresh out of 'em. " ***************************** Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 18:52:25 -0700 (PDT) From: Arymede Subject: NA: Doldrums - Ary, Tranq, Talia To: nunkies@world.std.com Ary turned to the drenched Talia beside her. "Come on! Us newbies can't be messed with like this! When they strike, we strike back!" Talia looked at her with an uncomprehending gaze. Ary grinned wickedly. "Well, we're already soaked, aren't we? Let's go get them wet!" She gestured towards the Sacred Cold Pond. Talia began to get her drift. They managed to get to the pillar Tranq was hiding behind with a minimum of incoming water, and explained the plan to her. Ary quickly took off her weaponry, which was damned uncomfortable, anyway. "I don't want them to rust," she explained. "What *is* the deal with those, anyway?" asked Tranq. "Well, I've been led to believe that when Nunkies calls, we come running. So, Nunkies called, and I came. Despite the fact I was in the middle of another story at the time. Anyway, let's go!" Ary ~ tDB Gone for now... ******************************************************* From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:04:57 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy/Glennis/The Remote To: nunkies@world.std.com Glennis turned off the lights as she quietly rolled the truck to a halt next to the warehouse which served as Nick Knight's home. Getting out, the two addicts carefully considered the best way to gain (illegal) entry to the Loft. Nodding decisively, Glennis reached behind the seat of the truck and pulled out a length of rope. "What?" asked Christy. "You planning to lasso the remote from here?" "Nope. You're going on a little climbing expedition," said Glennis as she began tying a knot in the rope. "Let's see," she mumbled to herself, "Is it 'the squirrel goes around the tree and down the hole' or 'the squirrel comes out of the hole and around the tree?'" "Climbing? As in 'up?'" Christy gulped. "Um...Glennis, did I ever mention to you that I'm afraid of heights?" "Hmmm?" answered Glennis, still trying to figure out the tree and squirrel puzzle. "No, I don't think you did." "Well, consider it mentioned." "That's nice, dear," said the preoccupied addict. "Do you really want to explain to Nunkies that you were too afraid of heights to get Nicky's remote for him? He'd probably just fly you up to the top of the CN tower and leave you there for a week or two in order to help you get over your fear." A whimpering sound came from Christy's general direction. "All right, I'll do it, but I'm, by God, NOT going to like it!" "There's a brave girl," smiled Glennis as she slipped the rope over Christy's head and guided it up under her arms. "First thing we have to do is get you on the roof." "Roof?" "Well, of course. How else do you propose to enter through the skylight?" **************************************************************************** After much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth, the ex-Queen o'Denial reached the relative safety of the warehouse roof and stood at the edge of the skylight. She was in luck. It was open. Christy scanned the skies above her, making certain there were no incoming vampires. Normally, Nick only left the skylight open for his kindred. There didn't seem to be anyone aloft, but one never knew when the other shoe might drop. Walking to the edge of the roof, she called to Glennis, who was busy tying the other end of the rope to the truck. "Okay, doesn't look like anybody's home. What the heck are you doing?" "Getting ready to lower you into the Loft, of course." "Shouldn't you be doing that by hand?" "Not enough upper body strength," came the reply. "Don't worry, nothing bad will happen. Trust me." "Famous last words," muttered the newbie addict as she sat on the edge of the skylight and waited for the rope to go taut. When it did, she slipped off the edge and hung dangling like a chandelier over Nick's unliving room. She spotted her quarry on an end table near the sofa. Giving two quick tugs on the rope, she found herself slowly being lowered into the room. Reaching the floor and allowing some slack in the rope, she snatched up the remote and tugged once again. Slowly but surely, she was lifted toward the skylight once again. She breathed a sigh of relief and then heard the elevator motor start. Someone was coming! Christy's feet had just cleared the skylight when Nat stepped from the elevator. "Nick? Nick, are you home yet? Are you up there on the roof?" Running as quietly as possible to the side of the building, Christy saw Glennis standing beside the still-running truck. "Hurry!" Glennis said. "I just saw Nat go in the building. TOG can't be too far behind!" "It took me 20 minutes to climb up here, Glennis. Just how the devil do you expect me to get down in less time?" They both spotted the Caddy at the same time. "Jump!" Glennis yelled. Christy hesitated a moment, torn between images of lying smashed on the pavement below and having her throat torn out by an enraged vampire. Oh sure, Nicky would angst over it after the deed was done, but.... She opted for the better part of valor and jumped. Luckily, the overstuffed harem pillows that she and Patt had picked up earlier in the day broke her fall. She pulled the rope over her head as Glennis jumped into the driver's seat and drove away from the scene slowly, so as not to attract attention. Christy ducked down into the bed of the truck as the caddy passed them and pulled into the garage. Glennis stopped down the street and let Christy get in the passenger's seat. Grinning from ear to ear and green eyes shining, Christy held up the remote control. "We did it, girlfriend! We got TOG's most prized possession!" The crack of a resounding high five broke the silence of the night as the giggling addicts drove away. ************************** Back in the Loft, Nick rode up the elevator wearing a puzzled expression. That truck had looked awfully familiar. And why was it carrying a load of what had appeared to be harem pillows? He shrugged. Maybe he'd have a flashback about the truck later on that would help him solve the mystery. Sliding the lift door open, he strode over to Nat, giving her a peck on the cheek. "So, are you ready for tonight's movie?" he asked. "Yeah. How about 'Key Largo?'" replied Nat. "Sounds good." Nick reached for his remote, only to find that it wasn't there. He was certain he'd left it right there on the end table. "Nat, have you seen my universal remote?" "No, can't say that I have," came the answer. And so Nick Knight did the only thing that any male, living or undead, would do in such a circumstance. He tore the place apart looking for his precious remote. ****************************************** From: "Shele" To: "nunkies" Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Shele Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:11:05 -0700 **knock*knock** In the darkness, a green eye opened and slowly focused on the closed door. A moment of silence passed, and the eye began its retreat upward behind a drooping lid. **knock*knock** At this, both eyes opened, and Shele stumbled over to the source of the noise. Opening the door cautiously, her eyes grew even wider as they followed the hand, poised to rap once more, down past the leather-clad wrists and muscle-bound forearms, up to the firmly rounded biceps, sloooooowly cross the finely-worked leather vest, and finally up to the broad smile and twinkling eyes that shone down on her. Casting furtive glances down the hallways, Shele grabbed a fistful of leather-clad man and pulled. She wondered if the cat scrappling down the hall would tattle on her, but decided the furry creature might know when to keep its mouth shut. "Well, well, well. Look what we have here." She took the grand tour of her 'guest'. "Does Madame KiKi know you've come home?" "Well, I...Hey!" Black locks danced as his head swiveled to watch his captor, the grand tour having taken on a decidely 'touchy-feely' aspect. "No, she doesn't know I've come home, because I haven't -- I'm on break. I'm supposed to give you this." Shele clapped her hands, "More presents?! Glorious day!" As she tore into the smaller-than-a-breadbox container, her heart sank. Yep, nestled within the tissue stuffed confines was a Chicklet-filled *toy* lightsaber. Her eyes narrowed as they espied the accompanying note. 'I trust you have almost completed your tasks.' She shook her raised fist at the sky, "Sometimes, LaCroix, you go too far!" It might have been her imagination, but she thought she heard an answering chuckle. Movement to her left caught her attention. "Where do you think you're going, Ted?" "I have to get back to the phones! Madame Kiki will have a fit if I don't get back, pronto!" "Pronto? *Pronto*?! You just remind *Madame* Kiki that you're mine and when it's time for War, dear boy, you'll be right back here as full-time mascot for the Nunkies Addicts!" She called through the already closed door, but did not get an answer. "Do you hear me? Full-time!!" Frowning, she picked up the list Nunkies had given her. 'Fifty gallons of strawberry gel, 3 gross legos and a bookcase.' It was just like him to be maddeningly vague. She opened the door and saw the cat still standing in the hallway, dumbstruck, as it were. "'T's okay, it wasn't the real God of War, just a look-alike from our last War." She cooed. "He's really harmless, trust me." The cat was only slightly moved by this declaration and watched the PL stumble away, mumbling to herself the whole way. "There once was a vampire named Screed On mousies and ratsies he'd feed His face 'though not wretched 'Twas forever etch-ed Somewhere little kids shouldn't pee......d ....peed.... "While swimming along Addicts found A sight which helped fight the pound 'Though some thought it neat-o Screed dressed in a Speedo Was something.... round, drowned, sound... ground, browned, gowned.... " The cat listened as to the sound growing fainter and weighed his choices. Follow the sound or return the way he came and perhaps get captured by his person. He turned and retraced his steps. *********** *********** -shele, who is disastrously behind From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 19:42:27 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Christy/Glennis--The Final Piece To: nunkies@world.std.com "Just one more thing left on the list," Christy crowed. "And what might that be?" "Potted palms. One hundred of them." "And where are we supposed to get potted palms?" Glennis inquired, her euphoria over their safe getaway with TOG's remote control beginning to die as she considered this newest challenge. "What about that Feliks guy? Isn't he the plant vamp?" "Well, yeah, but why should he give us 100 potted palms? Heck, why would he HAVE 100 potted palms?" "Hey, I'm the newbie, remember?" Christy said indignantly. "I'm having enough trouble just coming up with this stuff." "Okay, okay. Don't get your panties in a wad," Glennis said. "Sheesh!" She turned down the road leading to Feliks' All-Night Nursery. Oddly enough, upon arrival at Feliks' place, the vampire was on hand to greet them. "The HP called ahead and ordered these," he explained as he helped them load the truck. "She figured you two would manage to figure out that this is the only all-night nursery in Toronto." Christy gave Glennis a victorious look. Glennis stuck out her tongue. They both giggled. Truck ponderously loaded and nearly scraping the pavement, the two women thanked Feliks for his assistance and started to pull off. "Wait!" he called. "I almost forgot to give you your message." The truck stopped and two heads stuck out of the cab, which was stuffed with potted palms and resembled a miniature tropical rain forest. "The HP says you're to drop off all your items at the Shrine, clean up and dress for dinner and join the rest of the addicts at a restaurant called Ying's Things for a victory celebration." "Thanks again, Feliks!" Glennis said, waving merrily as she pulled out into traffic. "Cheers!" **************************** Having finally unloaded all the crap...um...decorative items gathered over the course of the weekend, Glennis and Christy treated themselves to a lovely hot bath and a trip to the Sacred Sauna. Glennis looked wonderful in her clingy black silk dress and heels. A replica of Nunkies' sword stickpin skewered the high collar of the Chinese-inspired dress. Christy had opted for the emerald green off-the-shoulder green silk with which Nunkies had gifted her during her Disney World fantasy. A strand of pearls and pearl earrings completed the outfit. Wearing their finery, they crawled into the now-clean cab of Patt's truck and headed for the restaurant. "You know, Glennis," Christy said. "I'm really feeling badly about not putting anybody on Patt's trail." "Yeah, me too," said Glennis. "But I just have this sneaking suspicion that she'll show up at the restaurant." "Maybe she just left us on our own as a test." "Yeah, maybe." The two drove on in silence, trying not to contemplate what fate may have befallen the Third Cousin. ***************************** From: "Shele" To: "nunkies" Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Shele III Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 21:13:36 -0700 "Gel... gel... who would have fifty gallons.... hmmmm. Are strawberries even *in* season in Canada? And what about the legos? Three gross? Three gross of what kind of legos? What size, what shape, what color? At least the bookcase is a little easier. But how many shelves? How tall?" Shele felt two eyes bore into her back. "Yes, I'm talking to myself, what's it to ya? Oh, hi Jules! Didn't know you were here." "I'm just on my way out actually. I thought about inviting you along, but it doesn't look like you've finished your chores yet." The High Priestess stared pointedly at the list held in Shele's hand. As her gaze returned to the Addict's face, Jules arched an eyebrow. "In fact, I doubt you'll even be able to join us for dinner." "Dinner?!?! But I'm starving! This isn't fair!" "Fair? Since when has LaC-- *life* been fair? If you were so interested in dinner, you shouldn't have wasted so much time playing with your toys." "But Ted was hardly even here! He only stopped by for a few seconds." Seeing that the HP had not been moved by a tsunami of understanding, Shele decided that she'd chosen the wrong toy. "I didn't know it would break if I twisted it that way! I promise I'll clean up all the Chicklets when I get back from... shopping! Yeah, shopping for the things on my list! My list from LaCroix! Well, could you guys at least pick me up something? Please?" At last the High Priestess sighed, true it was one of those certified, verified, bona fide, and slightly countrified, 'Why Me' kind of sighs, but it was heaven to Shele's ears. "We'll see." "Thank you, Jules! That's all I'm asking -- just a chance!" Shele hurried around the corner and out the door before she could get herself in more trouble. Once she'd gone half a block, she turned to make sure she was alone. "We'll see? *We'll **see***? I don't see her gallivanting around searching for the odds and ends of the universe. Noooo, she's back at the Shrine, sipping her tea and chatting with Nunkies.'Would you care for more tea, my dear?' 'Oh, yes, Nunkies, if you please!' 'One lump as usual?' "You know me too well, darling.' " So involved was she in her ranting, Shele didn't notice the black car as it pulled up beside her. Nor did she notice as the car started moving to keep pace with her. No, it was only when the blackened rear window slid down to reveal the High Priestess, that Shele knew she was not alone. She smiled weakly at the auburn haired occupant, who merely shook her head and motioned the driver to move on. Shele suddenly remembered KC's Law: The only thing that cures getting caught, is not getting caught doing something else. She looked at LaCroix's list and started to smile. Soon the smile became a grin, which somehow turned into a cackle. The people she passed on the street turned and stared in wide wonder, but Shele didn't stop -- she was on a mission. On a mission on foot. Her feet skidded to a halt and she turned to see her car, now a full two blocks away. "Ah, there you are, my little rental wheels! Are you ready to take a trip?" The cackle returned to roost. ************* ************* -shele, oh-so-slowly catching up From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:19:05 EDT Subject: NA: SummerDoldrums-Sukh/Jen, Coup, & Tammy To: nunkies@world.std.com I hate when family time eats into your writing time... I'm catching up! Sukh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Oh, man!" Sukh slowed the team and turned on her ear comm unit. "Houston, we have a problem." "Tell me," Michael answered. "Carouches." Sukh frowned as Screed started to approach the skittish horses. "What?" "Hold on," Sukh watched as Screed looked over her horses, then came to the side of the chariot. "Aye 'ear yar tail there's a forlick 'ere about -" "Do you know where we can get," Sukh scanned her list. " Fifty dozen ostrich plumes, and twenty Cirque d' Soeil tightrope walkers?" "Aye kin man-'andle h'it!" Screed ran his hands over the Chariot "but ya gotta slick me paws foirst n' mostest." "One sec." Sukh turned and whispered to Michael. "I need foil, really good stuff, maybe some Arctic tents and sleeping bags with the foil cloth." "Why?" "To get my mission done. I need a couple of dozen each." "I can get it in thirty minutes." "Deal. Screed, I can give you shiny pretty clothes and tents for all your buds. Half now, half on delivery of the goods to the Shrine." Screed nodded and smiled. As Sukh set the chariot back in motion with a "High Ho Nunkies" and a whiplash inducing jolt, the chariot, Coup and Jennifer took off. Ten minutes later Sukh slowed down again. She could see the bulk of the backhoe in a streetlight, but that wasn't Walter sitting in the driver's seat. "Jennifer, hang back. If there's trouble hightail it back to the Shrine." Jennifer nodded and slowed Coup to a slow trot behind the Chariot. "What's wrong?" Tammy watched Sukh stiffen. "Nothing. Be ready to run." Tammy's eyes widened. "That wasn't reassuring." "It wasn't meant to be." Sukh reached into her trenchcoat and took out her special Section Tranq gun as they got closer to the backhoe. "Michael?" "Yes." "Walter isn't on the backhoe." "Yes." Sukh relaxed a fraction. "I didn't know you knew how to drive a chariot." "Your spying on me aren't you?" Sukh put her gun away. "Actually, I'm handing over the backhoe. I've sent Walter to find the foil you need." "Oh." Sukh pulled up to where Michael sat, looking very unhappy in the seat of the backhoe. "I don't like doing favors for that vampire." Michael growled as he stepped down to the ground. "Besides, I've heard that other TV shows were involved." Jennifer walked Coup over. "Just Buffy for us, and you guys." Jennifer grinned. "So far." "And Angel?" "He's around." "I see." He held out a wrapped object. "The MacCousin said you needed this." Sukh peeked in the package. "Cool beans. Tammy is driving the backhoe." Michael handed Tammy the keys. She climbing in the small construction equipment and started it up. "I need you back in the Harem by Tuesday night. Dorf is on MR until after finals." "Will do." Sukh clicked to the Friesians and wheeled the Chariot around. Tammy managed to get the backhoe in the right direction after an interesting lurching circle maneuver. "Hey, Sukh!" Tammy called as she rolled along. "Yeah?" "This thing isn't very fast." "Okay." Sukh turned to Jennifer. "Find the paint." She handed Jennifer a scrap of evil pink cloth. "In this shade, and fifty super soakers." "Will do." Jennifer wheeled Coup around. "Rendezvous in forty minutes." Jennifer nodded and took off. "Tammy can you find your way back to the Shrine okay?" "Sure." "Good I need to make a pit stop at the Hive." "I could follow you there," Tammy suggested as Sukh gathered the reins and wrapped herself to the body of the chariot. "I'll be there and back before you get to the Shrine," Sukh pointed out. Construction equipment wasn't known for speed. "True. Meet me on the way then?" "Sure," Sukh promised as she slapped the reins and clattered off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:35:56 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Sukh, Jenneifer,Coup, & Tammy(Again) To: nunkies@world.std.com Sukh pulled up short as her five Carouche buds from earlier showed up. "What now?" "We have a change of plans, I'm thinking." Jennifer was back at Sukh's side, a Carouche leading one unhappy Coup. Coup was trying to nip the offending vampire. The vampire flashed his teeth at Coup and he settled. Another Carouche had a kicking and yelling Tammy in his clutches. Where was Michael when you needed him? Sukh sighed as Screed approached. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There now, that should fix it so Patt's post will follow... Sukh To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- lead up to the dinner From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 21:47:18 EDT Gotta get ready for the dinner, ladies: Read this post. This is where you all are now! And, Chris. Thanks for bringing OD. Since I'm the first one to have posted lusty intentions toward TDD, I lay claim to the pleasure of abusing our dinner guest. ************************* "Halt!!" A rather authoritative female voice announced from the Green Room door. Five addicts, in various state of soak and stress, turned to face the High Priestess. "Stop this foolishness, clean up and get ready for dinner," Jules announced. "We have reservations at Ying's Things for 10 p.m." The auburn-haired woman spun on her well heeled heal and strode from the room. Javiette, Jill, Tranq, Talia and Ary all glared at each other. "This isn't finished," Javiette muttered as the addicts marched out of the room. ******************* "Flying is dangerous," Od muttered as he skillfully landed in the park area on Queen Street near the Jeweled Peach. "Much safer to ride horses." "True, but this was much faster," Chris noted, jumping out of the chopper. She looked down, startled, as her beeper went off. She checked the number and grinned. "Just in time for dinner," Chris grinned at her dark-haired companion. "Let's go get dressed." "I'm not going in *there*," Od stated flatly. He looked around quickly and spotted a hotel down the street. "I'll get a room, change and meet you at your haven in one hour. That will give you sufficient time?" "Yes, my love," Chris smiled sweetly, gently touching the TDD's face. "This is probably a good idea, because I'm not crazy about sharing you with these over-lustful ladies." "None of them can match you in lustiness," Od smiled. Then his face went to mock sternness. "One hour. Be prompt." "Yes, my sheik," Chris smirked, then dashed down the street to the Shrine. ************************************************************************* Jennifer, Sukh and Tammy stood staring at the carouche-types blocking their path. "I have a *really* bad feeling about this," Tammy said quietly. "No, kidding," Sukh added. From her chariot perch, she looked up at Jennifer, regally astride the very tall Coup. "Can you jump that, kiddo?" One of the animal-nipping vampires caught hold of the bridle of one of the Friesan's. "Let go of that horse!" Jen cried out indignantly, as Sukh struck at the vampire with her whip. "Ya an wha' girlie group gonna make me?" the carouche snarled. As Sukh struck out with the whip again, another of the sub-vamps grabbed for the crop, pulling the leather from the addict's hand. "'Ere, now, we ain't 'ere for this type of no-sense," Screen announced, coming forward and alternately slapping the two carouches' heads. "We 'ave orders from 'is monkiness to deliver these lovlies to "is Shriners place." The sub-vamps reached for the addicts, intent on grabbing one arm each. The addicts had other idea. Jennifer firmly planted a boot in the nose of one of her would-be assailants and gave him a hard push. The only female carouche present grabbed for Tammy, causing the tall addict to shriek, make a *V* with her fingers and poke at the eyes of the vamp. Sukh dove out of the chariot, determined to retrieve her property. The vamp laughed and dodged the woman's attempt to catch hold of the whip, then scooted behind her and snapped the crop against Sukh's neck, pinning her to his chest. "Sop it now!" Screed cried out, obviously worried that he was losing control of the situation. "If we mess this'n up, the Monkey 'ill 'ave our 'eads fer sure." "The carouche is right," the velvet voice of LaCroix broke up the brawl. "I need all of you ladies back to the Shrine to get dressed, immediately. Now, cooperate with these . . . creatures." "I'm not leaving my horse," Jennifer announced adamantly. "And, I'm not asking you to, little one," LaCroix smiled. With a raising of his hand, the General instructed the carouches to various angles around the chariot and the thoroughbred then, in unison, the vamps lifted into the air, their precious cargos suspended between them. "OH!" Jennifer cried out as the airborne Coup whinnied in excitement. "Just like Pegasus!!" "Why not?" LaCroix smiled from where he flew beside her. "After all, Pegasus *was* born from Medusa's blood." *********************************************************************** From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:42:31 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Jenneifer,Coup To: nunkies@world.std.com This is my last post. A T-storm is coming in. Been fun, everyone. --------------------------------- Jen sighed as she wiped the last of the grime from her. It had been a long weekend. Upon her return to the Shrine, she had put Coup up in the Sacred Stables with Uncle's permission. Now, she smiled as she drew one of her favorite dresses out from her bag. She was glad it hadn't wrinkled. The dress consisted of a straight, ankle lenght skirt without a slit. A dark red velvet flower-vine was stylized on the black fabric. The top was in two pieces. The first was a silky burgundy tank top. Then, Jen covered it in a black, short-sleeved wrap. The long ties trailed down from her waist to her knees. She put on some of her favorite jewelry: a claddaugh ring on her right hand with the heart pointing inward, black teardrop earrings edged in silver, a delicate silver tennis bracelet, and an obsidian pendant of a unicorn on a short silver chain. Then, it was time to put on make-up and curl her dark hair. She applied the pale base and light blush, and then carefully put on the gray eyeshadow, light mascara, and dark lipstick. Afterwards, she curled her hair under, and put on a little vanilla perfume. She checked herself in the mirror. All was perfect. She walked out of her newly assigned chamber to meet Sukh and Tammy. --------------------------------- That's it for me. Night. From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 22:56:27 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Sukh&Jennifer To: nunkies@world.std.com "Man, I smell like horse." Sukh wrinkled her nose as she walked through the shrine. Various Addicts scuttled around. A water balloon sailed toward her form out of nowhere. "Crap!" She ducked and ran for her room. She slammed the door and tried not to laugh. "Sukh." Sukh looked around to find Angel in a dark corner. She was going to be in deep dodo if Nunkies found out Angel was in her room. "You can't be here," she hissed at him. "I have something for you. LaCroix said I could come in." "Right." Sukh held out her hand. He placed heavy box in her hand. She gasped and grabbed at it with both hands as it started to fall. Angel got it and set it on her bed. "I do appreciate you doing this, but it is time for you to return to your reality." Nunkies voice startled Sukh as she whirled to face the door. Nunkies walked in and opened the lid, then tipped the box to spill over her velvet coverlet. Gold peaches spilled out, tiny charms for the addicts' presents. "Do you approve?" He asked as he held one up. "Yes." "Then get ready for dinner, and you will have one." He gathered the charms up and left. Thirty minutes later she was dressed in her best Janette dress and finishing up her eye makeup as a knock sounded on her door. She opened the door to find Jennifer, looking very spiffy, smiling at her. "Come on in. " She picked up her UF choker that she had been gifted with as the past leader of the UFfers in a WAR and had Jennifer help fasten it. "I'm ready. Let's go find Tammy." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Patt -- A whole lot of addicts From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 23:33:31 EDT "I don't wanna," Patt's cry sounded quite plaintive as it pierced the mostly empty Shrine of Nunkies. "You will," Jules instructed. "And we'll hear no more of your foolish complaining. I have just broken up a brawl in the Green Room, and I don't need this fight with you. If you want to represent this organization, you *will* dress properly." "I don't wanna *dress* at all," the Third Cousin continued to protest. "The closest thing to a dress I wear is my maroon toga, and that's only when Nunkies is expected to stop by. If you think you're gonna make me wear evening wear for the other addicts, you're nuts." "You *will* wear a dress . . . and stockings . . . and heels . . . and makeup." *Gasp.* "I knew you were the master of fiendish torture methods, but I had no idea you could be so cruel!" Patt wailed. Jules was busy raiding the Sacred Wardrobe Closet, tossing garments right and left. "No, no, no -- not the right look." "My *right* look is jeans and a tee-shirt--preferably black to help mask my bulk," Patt offered. "Pooh," Jules replied. She lifted a shimmery gray sheath from the rack and eyed it critically. "We really need to have a garage sale," she mewled. "This has been here since the 60's." "Were we here in the 60's?" Patt asked innocently, fingering a turquoise sequined gown before she realized it was the HP's. "Perhaps not us and not here," Jules replied, "but, as you are well aware of, the sisters of Felidia have been in existence for ages." "You gonna tell me *the* bedtime story again?" Patt asked with the eager voice of a child. "NO, I'm not." Jules snarled. "Now, get to work and find a dress." A short time later, the HP *ahh-haaed* in triumph and produced a stunning copen blue silk with Celtic motif stitching around the neck and cuffs. Patt had to admit, if forced to wear a dress, this was quite an outfit. Not quite as unwillingly as Jules had expected the Third Cousin to be, Patt took the dress and headed for her private bedchamber. As it turned out, the mature one cleaned up quite nicely and met Jules at the stair landing with her hair properly coiffed and her makeup applied pretty well for one with little practice. Jules, clad in black and slinky, nodded in approval. "Let's go," Jules said. "We want to be at the restaurant early, so that we can make sure that everything is perfect." The two women exited the building via the alley entrance, just as Christy and Glennis were entering via the kitchen/delivery door. *************************************************************************** Ying's Things was a tastefully decorated Chinese restaurant with all the trimmings. Paper lanterns, aglow with warm light, hung from the ceiling. Ink sketches of landscapes, flowers and animals were hung along the walls. The ruby carpet was plush and the black enamel tables gleamed brilliantly. Several carved beasts, including elephants, tigers, and a stork, held positions in the corners, mute observers to the activity within. "This is exceptionally nice," Patt admitted as she followed Jules through the restaurant to the private dining room which had been prepared for the addicts. She sniffed the air hungrily as they passed the buffet-serving area. "Oh, I just hope it tastes as good as it smells." "We're not buffet-ing tonight, Patt. We're being catered." Jules took hold of the mature addict's arm in an attempt to prevent any possible straying. "Come along." The table setting was lovely beyond words--tiny wooden pagodas nestled among white lilies and fresia. At the center was a life-size ice sculpture of a Roman Soldier of regally erect stature. "Oh, very, very nice," Patt grinned, scarfing a cherry tomato from the hors d'oeuvres tray. "Yes, quite," Jules said dreamily, running a finger along the *General's* thigh. "And, just about the right temperature." From the doorway, Arymede giggled. Jules turned and regarded the five addicts, now scrubbed and dressed in appropriate finery. "Sit down, ladies. Have a carrot and some sake." "The least they could have done was have ole ice-man in a toga," Javiette grumbled as she sat down directly in front of the sculpture. "That would have been nice," Tranq agreed, positioning herself opposite the Vaquera. "But, maybe, they thought such a distraction would impede the supper." "Hmmmm, they might just have been right," Talia noted, seating herself beside Tranq. She smiled down the table at Ary, who was alternately giggling and staring with awe at the ice. "I still prefer chocolate," Jill noted, sitting down beside Javiette. "Who doesn't?" Glennis grinned, entering the room with her usual flourish. Christy followed, but when she sighted the ice sculpture she stopped short and gulped. Glennis turned back to the new addict and picked at her arm gingerly. "This is nothing, kiddo. Wait until we get back to the Shrine, and I show you the HP's windchime collection." The addicts chatted among themselves, picking at the snack tray and sipping rice wine from tiny cups. "We're not late, are we?" Tammy burst into the room with the widest grin an addict could have. "We did hurry." "I could have stayed up there all night," Jennifer's grin was just as wide and matched Jules in dreaminess. "It was absolutely divine. The only thing which could have made it better was if Nunkies had been in the saddle behind me." "Or in the chariot," Sukh mused. "Talk about a meltdown moment-- Nunkies at the reins, with a strong arm encircling you waist." The three new arrivals sighed and plopped into their chairs. "Hi, all." Pristine walked into the room, smiling politely. "Who's that?" Jules leaned across the table, giving Patt a questioning look. "Addict Pristine," Patt replied. "She's the one who was hunting the drill." "Oh," Jules leaned back, a worried expression on her face. "Ohhhhh," Pristine murmured as she passed the snack tray. "Dumplings-- my favorite." It was now ten p.m. Jules glanced at her diamond watch, then at the kimono-clad woman who stood politely by the entrance. Jules nodded and dinner began. They made it through the ginger salad and soups without an incident worse than Patt dropping her ceramic ladle-spoon. The Third Cousin had giggled nervously, then quietly accepted another from the ever-attentive hostess. The entrees were varied, each served in pewter-covered chafing dishes so that they could be shared among the addicts. Feng Kuo, Cha Chiang Mein, Mee Feng Jou--the list of flavorful offerings was endless. "What do you call this stuff again?" Patt asked between mouthfuls of steak and blanched tomato. "Ching-Chiao-Chao Niu-Jou," Jules repeated for the fourth time. "Sounds like a Star Wars character," Patt grinned, slurping an errant bean sprout through her lips. Jules gave the Third Cousin a testy look, causing Patt to offer Jules a silly grin. "You can take the girl out of the country, but . . ." "Evening to all!" Chris glided into the room, her dark satin dress making soft, swishing sounds as she walked. "Sorry I'm late. I got . . . " she turned and smiled at her now appearing companion, ". . . distracted." "Hmmmm," Jules looked at the dark-haired stranger in interest. "I wasn't aware we'd given permission to bring *dates*, Addict Chris." "Well, if we didn't, we should have," Chris replied, smiling up at TDD as he pushed her chair in for her. "They're very nice to have around." She looked pointedly at the Priestess. "You might like to try it--sure beats waiting around, hoping Nunkies will drop by." "Yeowch," Glennis whispered to Ary. "Low blow." Jules quickly squelched the reddening of her face and addressed Chris with mock sweetness. "Ahh, dear, but *dating* interferes with other Addict activities. If you have too much time on your hands, perhaps we should assign you more grout duty, hmmmm?" "I don't think Nunkies would particularly care for that," Chris replied smugly. "He's informed me that he's very happy with me just as I am." "I'm sure . . . NOT THERE!" the High Priestess said sharply, causing Od to stop short of sitting down in the only chair now available--the opposite head of the table from Jules. The HP smiled at the man, who she had to admit was rather handsome, and said more quietly, "that's reserved. We're expecting a *special* guest. Sorry . . . you weren't expected." "No problem," TDD smiled back. "I'll just eat in the main dining room." "Excellent decision," Jules called after the vanishing Arabian, and before Chris could protest. "Charge your supper to the Shrine." "Score one for the HP," Sukh murmured to Jennifer. "Now," Jules said, picking up her wine glass. "I would like to propose a toast. To our master, our addiction--to Nunkies." Over the glass, Jules stared at Chris, challenging her. Chris glared back, but said nothing. "And, I'd like to add a toast," Glennis stood up, wriggling to adjust her clingy dress. She held her Sake cup aloft. "To Annie, the NunkMommy. May she return in triumph!" "Here, here," several addicts cheered and sipped at their drinks. "When is Annie due to arrive?" Patt said through a mouthful of vegetables. A veggie dropped from her lips, causing the Third Cousin to moan in dismay. "I love that miniature corn." Using her chop sticks, which she usually did deftly, Patt tried to skewer the corn, but ended up flipping it upward. The tiny yellow veggie made a graceful arc over Christy's head, flew down the side of the table and landed with a *plop* in Javiette's tea glass. Drops of tea spewed from the over-filled container, soaking a large section of Javiette's dress. The Vaquera stood up, glaring across Christy's head at the Third Cousin. "You again," she snarled. "Hey, you chose to join *my* club," Patt retorted. "What did you expect?" "Sit down, Rae," Jules ordered politely. "In this case, I really think it was an accident. Apologize, Patt, and try to be more careful." Across the table, Tranq and Talia had been watching the interplay among Patt and Javiette. The two women nodded at each other and, with matching sneaky grins, flung twin pea pods in Rae's direction. One of the pods landed in the lap of the intended target. The other landed and stuck to Jill's forehead. "Oooppps," Tranq and Talia giggled guiltily. ************************************************************************* Well, this is taking longer to write than expected. And, why should I have all the fun. You can all write and post some *food fight* scenes if you'd like. I'll wrap things up when I get home from work tomorrow night. The fun continues for one more day. Don't ya just love long weekends? Take care and goodnight. Patt ************************* Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 15:23:10 -0500 From: Nightstalker To: nunkies@world.std.com Subject: Re: NA: Summer Doldrums Sorry, Patt, I'm not much for food fights. Chris looked up halfway through dinner and stared at Jules in astonishment. "Oh my gosh . . ." She noticed Jules looking back at her with a mixture of puzzlement and anger. "Madame Jules, may I be excused? I'm feeling rather poorly." Indeed, her normally pale skin was almost deadly pale and her eyes had lost some of their glitter. "Very well." Jules dismissed her with a wave of the hand. Chris stood and made her way out of the dining room, heading for the ladies room. She stepped carefully down the hallway leading to the restrooms and had almost reached her destination when a dark shape with glowing red eyes jumped her. The Addicts could hear the scream plainly as if it were in their ears. Jules and Patt jumped up from the table as Jules motioned for the other Addicts to stay put. Another sharp cry split the air. "ELMORE!" Jules and Patt rushed down the hall to see the dark shape about to strike. "NO!" called Patt sharply. "Bad Spark! I told you, no biting Addicts!" Spark halted in mid-bite. "But I'm hungry!" "No. What are you doing out of your room, anyway?" "I was hungry." "Well, get back there!" Patt glared at Spark as he slunk off. "You okay?" she asked of Chris. "Yeah. He didn't bite me. I thought he was supposed to be on a leash." She wasn't angry, just feeling a little ill. "Must've slipped his tether." Chris looked up at Jules. "I'm sorry I acted so. I seem to have caught a touch of the smugness virus. It pops up at the most inopportune times. Nunkies sent me to stay with Od to prevent yet another mental breakdown. I think he sent Monica to D.C. for the very same thing with Walter. He's the one who told me to bring Od with. I think I'm just going to stop at the Shrine for a bit. See if a nap will help." Jules was about to remark on this when spluts were heard in the direction of their dining room. "Do you hear what I hear?" she asked Patt. "Sounds like spluts." Patt and Jules traded glances. "Food Fight," they said in unison. They headed back to their dining room at full speed as Od gently guided Chris to the door and to the waiting car. Next? Chris ******************************************************************* From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 15:44:21 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Jennifer and a little food To: nunkies@world.std.com << You can all write and post some *food fight* scenes if you'd like... The fun continues for one more day. Don't ya just love long weekends? >> What? One more day? And food fights? Hah hah hah hah hah hah!!!! Here goes. Look out, everyone!!! ----------------------------------------------- Jennifer glanced at Sukh and asked, "Does this always happen? I haven't read enough of the fic to know." Sukh grinned. "You did join Nunkies Anonymous for fun, didn't you?" "Well, now that you mention it, I *do* remember reading some chaos in one of the wars..." Jennifer surreptitiously loaded some soft veggies onto her spoon, held it so it made a catapult, then took careful aim and... WHAM!!! "Sorry!!!" she called to the newbies at the other end. "Nothing personal!" Then, she ducked as miniature corn came flying her way. It landed in Sukh's lap. "Oh, you just wait..." Sukh muttered, grinning mischievously at the other addicts. Meanwhile, Jen had snuck under the table with her spoon in one hand and a small plastic bag in the other. She was gathering the pieces of ammo that had landed on the ground relatively intact. No one was going to out-food-fight her. " 'ello, love." Jen looked up, startled. "Spike," she hissed, "you're not supposed to be here. If Nunkies finds out-" "Oh, Nunkies this, Nunkies that. I just dropped in to give you a little advice, me being an expert on behaving badly and all." Jen eyed the blond vampire suspiciously. "What kind of advice?" "They do call you Dru for a reason, don't they love?" Jen grinned. "Yah, they do." "Then show 'em why, dearheart. Tah tah, now." Spike disappeared, and Jen laughed softly to herself. "Time for some daisies." She pulled the artificial flowers from her purse by the leg of her chair, and quickly clipped them into her hair. "Where have you been?" Sukh asked her when she resurfaced. "Making plans," Jen said. Sukh wasn't sure if she liked the odd gleam in Jennifer's eyes. "Jennifer, what are you-" Too late. Jen had already sent a massive load of fake flowers and real vegetables that had seen better days before the foodfight at Patt. Then, in quick succession, she launched more of the mixture towards Tranq and Talia. "Every woman for herself!!!" she cried. "Jennifer!" Sukh exclaimed. Jen turned to her and grinned. "Just call me Drusilla." Then, she focused on the mayhem again, choosing her next target carefully, and yelled across the din, "Do you like daisies???!!!" ----------------------------------------------- Hey, I told you to look out. Don't take anything personally. I'm just letting my Dru-ish tendencies out. Jennifer, aka Drusilla Nunkies Addict, Un Chevalier de la Nuit "Do you like daisies? I plant them, but they always die. Everything I put in the ground withers and dies."---Drusilla, BTVS, "School Hard" "Sorry, I was in the moment." Drusilla, BTVS, "Becoming 2" *********************************************************** Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 15:58:41 -0700 (PDT) From: Arymede Subject: NA: Doldrums - Ary's revenge To: nunkies@world.std.com Ary was off in her own little world again. As the NAs would soon discover, she did this quite often. But when something wet plopped into her lap, she shook herself out of it and looked down. Food? Who threw *food* at me? A glance at the table proved that question unanswerable. But it had taken a lot of kicking and screaming to force her into this dress, and danged if she was happy with it being dirty. She grabbed a napkin and tied back her long, still damp hair, and gathered up a large load of rice in some hot sauce. Target was picked at random, aim locked, and the food ended up full in the face of one Javiette... ------------------------------------------------------------- From: "Nite Flyer" To: Subject: NA: Doldrums-Saving Dumplings Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 19:37:06 -0400 The new NA member with the dark brown eyes and raven's hair sat with her head down nearly being hit with a giant flying bowl of rice. What did they care if she found the drill and after all she liked dumplings. Pristine, after all knew the real reason she was here and who her dedication was to. What was a bit of rice on her new lace black dress any way as long as she could serve Nunkies. Being new here was no picnic........at least not until now.....hee hee revenge is sweet! Almost as sweet as .......Chocolate Mousse!!!!! Splat! Splash! Fling!.........................Niteflyer ********************************* From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Tue, 1 Jun 1999 20:07:36 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight To: nunkies@world.std.com Christy looked around her at the unfolding scene of chaos and mayhem. She desperately wanted to join in the fun, but was horribly worried about her lovely green silk dress. After all, it *was* a gift from Nunkies. Looking around hurriedly, she spotted a side table...empty all but for a vinyl tablecloth! The lightbulb went on, and she dashed over to the table, snatched up the tablecloth and wrapped it around her precious dress toga-style. All right! A toga...a food fight in progress...and all after surviving a really great scavenger hunt with no bodily harm and no criminal record! She felt her eyes begin to tear up. Now she really felt like a true addict. She sniffed and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye then chucked the sentiment and joined in the fracas with a good ol' Rebel Yell. "Yeee--haaa!" she hollered, scooping up a handful of Shrimp Lo Mein and tossing it indiscriminantly toward the other end of the table. Going for another dish, she yelled, "Woo Hoo Gai Pan, anybody?" She was having so much fun that she hardly noticed the chocolate mousse that flew past her head. She did take notice, however, when the Kung Pao Pork landed in her hair. Grabbing a towel, she wiped the hot sauce from her head before it could get into her eyes. When she flipped her head back up, it was right in the line of fire of yet another barrage of mousse. Wiping the gooey mess off of her face, she stuck a finger in her mouth. Hmmm...not bad. She went in search of an untouched dish of chocolate mousse. Let the others fight for a while longer if they wanted. Chocolate was not to be wasted! *************************************************** To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight #1 From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 21:20:30 EDT Sorry to everyone who came in late and wanted to join in. We're really trying to wind this down, so I'm only writing in those already participating and a person who contacted me last night, before I started the food fight stuff. Thanks for your understand, and we'll meet again in the future. ~~ Patt ************************ "I'm really uncomfortable here, Jules," Patt commented as a partial plate of prawn chow mein sailed by. "I'm not very happy about the situation either," the auburn-haired HP ducked to avoid a non-transparent spoonful of stir-fried beef with transparent noodles. "No . . . I mean that I'm *really* uncomfortable," Patt pulled at her high collared dress and frowned. "Least you could have done was let me wear food-fighting attire. But, noooooo, I had to dress up to be doused with ginger dressing." "This is all your fault!" Jules glared at the mature one. "And, to think I defended your initial attack as an accident." "The corn was an accident," Patt glared back. "But, don't tempt me or the next veggie won't be." "What?" "Who?" "Where?" "Duck?" "What?" *THWAP* For some reason, a soy-soaked celery earring appeared to offend the HP's strict sense of fashion. She picked the soggy succulent from her lobe and stared at it in disbelief. "Someone," Jules said softly as she surveyed the room, "is going to die." Patt decided standing next to the HP was no longer a safe option. While looking for a safer hideout (should have taken Spark back to his lair personally), she noticed something alarming and instinctively lunged forward. "Hold it, Pris! We don't *throw* chocolate!!" Patt reached for the large bowl of Mousse, determined to save it. As she did, two skinny arms reached up from under the ebony table and snatched the platter from Pristine's hands. Just as quickly, the Mousse disappeared, only to be replaced by familiar, giddy laughter. But, Patt had no time to confirm her suspicions as a loud "incoming" rang through the room. Javiette, side dish in hand, was stalking Arymede. The Vaquera had a very determined gleam in her eyes which caused the Sherwood Nunksister to scrabble backwards in alarm. Seeing their comrade in obvious peril, Talia and Tranq decided intervention was called for. While Talia pelted an advancing Rae with Ramen, Tranq grabbed a bottle of seltzer from the arms of a passing barman. "Waves away!!!" Tranq cried, letting the water gush forth at full throttle. Javiette sputtered and swiped at the liquid splashing her face. "Jill!" the Vaquera shouted. "I need *fire* power!!!" "And you shall have it, my leather-clad amigo," Jill cried. The ShyOne boldly reached to the middle of the table, grabbing the condiment tray. She quickly bucket-brigaded a selection of offerings to Rae--including hot mustard, Szechuan sauce, and a bowl of those tiny little red peppers which, if you bite down on them, really *do* make your eyes glow. Meanwhile, down at the other end of the table . . . "Remind me again that I joined NA for the fun," Jennifer looked mournfully at her daisies. They were blotched and sticky with red goo-- more sour than sweet. "Come on, addict, where's your spirit? Not gonna let a little moo goo poo poo on your parade," Sukh chided the other woman, though she didn't move from behind the chair back she was using for cover. "Where's that old Drusilla charm you were chattering about?" Jennifer blinked blankly. "Drusilla? Charm? Same sentence? Dead kittens and wilted roses, but never charm." "She spiked charm . . . or is it the other way around?" Sukh said thoughtfully. "Heck, I've been editing too long. All the lines are running together. I need nourishment." From out of nowhere, a skinny arm appeared from the other side of the chair, offering the addict a steaming cup of hot tea. "Thanks," Sukh called to the disappearing hand. She started to take a sip of the tea, then paused. "This has an odd smell . . ." Jennifer toward the other addict, pulling her own chair/shield with her. She sniffed the fluid and frowned. "Smells kind of . . . cheesy." "This whole scene of us cowering like Knighties is cheesy -- not becoming of Patt at all," Sukh said, downing her now sweetly fragrant tea. "Come on Elmore, you can do better than this." Sukh stood up, impervious to all flying objects. "U F-ish Power! Pillows away!!" Well, spring rolls and dumplings, anyway. ************************* Don't worry. More to come. Patt ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 22:23:44 EDT From: Patricia L Elmore Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight #2 Christy's pillow, however, wasn't as . . . firm. As the toga-clad addict sat happily licking her chocolate bowl, an unexpected elbow struck her on the back of the neck, pushing her face into the pudding. "Nice mask," Pristine noted as Christy lifted her head. Then, the Drill- toting Addict's face broke into a fiendish grin. "You know what you need for a *black* eye, Christy? A steak." Before Christy could react, Pristine lodged a large portion of Pepper Steak against the coated addict's brow. Christy spluttered against the meat, inhaling a good portion of the cracked spices as she did. Her nose began to twitch. "AHHHH . . ." The bustle of activity closest to Christy paused, several addicts turning toward the newer member. "AHHHHHH . . ." Quite a few addicts had now ceased their individual feuding and were staring at Christy. Sensing impending Vesuvian doom, they began moving away from table-clothed woman. "AHHHHHHHHHH . . ." "Hi, everybody! I'm . . . "CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" " . . . home." Annie Raper looked down at the snarl of seasoning and beef which were now embedded into her exquisite ruby gown. The curly- haired woman lifted her head, her pretty face distorted in disbelief. Christy shook her head, successfully flinging chocolate and sauce from her eyes. She blinked and looked around the now deathly-still room. Following the direction all eyes were looking, Christy noted the stately figure standing at the doorway, dripping duck sauce. "Errrr, who's that?" Christy asked as she observed Glennis inching away. "That," Glen smiled pityingly, "is the NunkMommy." "We're cooked," Tammy whispered to Sukh and Jennifer as she joined her friends. "Like pork on a spit," Sukh nodded. She'd been around long enough to know that mere grout duty would not be sufficient to quell the beast now brewing in Annie's heart. "She's spent a lot of time with Nunkies, right?" Tranq said softly to Talia. "Been with him since the start, I hear," Talia replied, never taking her eyes off Annie. "Knows all his tricks." "And, he's really very fond of her . . . like would kill if someone messed with her?" Ary offered. Talia nodded. "That's what I heard. She's his main squeeze. They even do opera together." "Ohhhhhhhhhhh," Ary and Tranq both slunk back, putting as much distance as possible between themselves and the NunkMommy. Annie finally lifted her eyes from her dripping gown and stared into the room. She saw many unfamiliar faces, simple cordwood to feed the fire within. She was looking for something . . . someone else. Then she saw her. "Patt," Annie seethed. The mature addict looked up, startled. "What?!! It wasn't me!!" "It doesn't really matter," Annie's face broke into a devilish grin as she reached for a miraculously untouched bowl. "You make an excellent target-d'abuse. Pate' away!!" A large portion of meat strips and wine sauce flew across the room, striking the Third Cousin's face as if it was magnetized. Patt started to smile, enjoying the fact that Annie was indeed home and had joined the antics. Then an awful aroma assaulted her nostrils and she turned to Jules for confirmation. "What did Annie hit me with?" Jules inspected the pattern. "Run Tsa Chin Kan," she announced. "Which is?" "Deep fried lamb kidney and livers." "Livers?" Patt repeated the loathsome word. "LIVER? She hit me with LIVER?" "I take it Patt isn't fond of liver," Javiette observed with gleeful interest. "So it would appear," Jill agreed. "Do you sense a resumption of Agin- food-Court?" "Oui," Rae grinned. ************************************************************************ more to come To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--food fight--part 3 From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Tue, 01 Jun 1999 23:26:07 EDT Jules stared in incredulity as Annie flung another dish into the recommenced pandemonium. "Annie!" the HP shouted. "What are you doing?" "Practicing my pitch," the NunkMommy replied. "Think about what your doing!" Jules' voice held just a tinge of panic. "What would Nunkies think if he walked in right now?" "He'd consider us idiots and leave immediately," Annie called back as she ducked a foo young frisbee. "So, let's hope he doesn't drop by." "Annie!" Jules voice was pleading. "We have to stop this now . . . think of the insurance premium!" "She hit me with LIVER!" Patt could hardly contain her rage as she dodged nimbly through the airborne debris, intent on reaching her target. "I am covered with LIVER. All the tomato sauce in the world will not remove this smell. LIVER." A thin hand darted from under the table, running a finger across the dripping hem of the passing addict. The hand disappeared and a sucking sound could be heard. "Tasty," a squeaky voice said. Javiette noted with irk Patt's maneuvering out of her range. "She's not getting away from me that easily. We have a score to settle." With a whoop, Javiette jumped up on the table, kicking dishes as she did. Porcelain crashed to the floor, sending meatballs and mushrooms rolling. "Elmore! I want a piece of you!" Rae cried. "Plenty to go around!" Patt yelled back, whirling to face Javiette. "Come and get it!" Javiette leaped, with intentions of landing on the Third Cousin's back. Patt used her agility training and stepped aside, causing the Vaquera to simply collide with Patt's hip and bounce off. Javiette landing on her rump, howling in protest. "Hey Javi," a familiar masculine voice called to the floor-bound addict. "Are you really into this scene, or are you ready to go party?" Rae looked up at a grinning Vachon. For once she was glad that her face was smeared with cherry sauce, because she was blushing like crazy. "Red looks good on you," the Spaniard teased, holding his hand out to the Vaquera. "I looked ahead and Patt's finale lacked certain finesse. Figured she needed my help on the rewrite, so here I am. What say you grab your friend and we go find a private place to play? Know of any good hay barns?" "JILL!" Javiette shouted, allowing Vachon to pull her to his side. "We're history." She looked at Patt and smiled wickedly. "Later." "No problemo," Patt replied, giving the Spaniard a wink. "Thanks for the help." "Get a bigger computer," Vachon ordered, hustling a grinning Javiette and Jill out of the room. "Now who we gonna throw stuff at?" Talia whined as she watched the two J's being escorted away by Vachon. "Each other?" Ary said, then slapped herself for the suggestion. "No, that wouldn't be good," Tranq said. She looked around the room and gasped. "Who is that addict over there? The *clean* one?" "That's Pristine," Talia replied. "Not for long," Ary announced, reaching for the Moo Shu. In unison, the three addicts lifted their lethal lo mein and took careful aim at the dark haired Drill-mistress. Pristine, seventh sense finely honed, looked up in time to note that she was quarry. The usually cheerful addict felt her face pale. One addict, no problem. Two--she could probably defeat easily. But, three?? "Use yer noodle, L'l fly," a thick accent addressed the dark-haired addict. "That bit-o-rice yer wearin is okee, but ya don wanna get yer shiney dress-up all dirty. Come with ole Screedy." The Carouche grabbed Pris's hand and began dragging her from the room. "Let me go!" Pristine cried, struggling to free herself from the Ratter's grip. "Pristine looks like she's in trouble," Ary, Talia and Tranq lowered their bowls and watched the drama. "Should we help her?" "Help!!" Pristine cried. "Go help her!" Patt wrote. "First and foremost, she's a fellow NA in need of assistance. You can continue your adventure elsewhere if you'd like, or go to bed." "Right!!" the three women agreed and ran in the direction Screed was dragging Pristine. "Aym not doin this fer yur body," Screed assured the scuffling woman as he pulled her into the alley behind Ying's. "Aye jes want yer drillsie." "Take it!" Pristine cried, thrusting the tool at the Carouche. Screed licked his lips in triumph as he reached for his prize. But, before Screed could grasp the drill, a thin hand darted from behind the dumpster and grabbed the implement. "Libs!" Screed cried as the rest of the thin figure came into view. "Ain't no one drillin yewrself but me," Libby announced. She pressed the *on* button and twirled the bit in Screed's face. "Yew got that?" "Yew got me," the Carouche grinned crookedly, holding both arms aloft. "I'm out of here," Pristine announced. She lifted the hem of her dress and scurried back toward Ying's backdoor. As she reached it, three addicts tumbled out. "Darn!" Pris cried. "We're here to rescue you!" Ary, Tranq and Talia announced. "Go home--the four of you," Patt wrote. "The fan fic fairies are tired." *************************************************************************** One more to come. To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums--Food Fight -- part 4 From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Wed, 02 Jun 1999 00:28:06 EDT "Is this farce about finished?" Jules demanded, giving Patt a scolding look. "Just about," Patt replied, her eyes never leaving Annie. "I just need to write a really good revenge scene." "Save it for another time," Jules said. "There will be plenty of opportunities in the future for you and Annie to . . . play." "But she threw LIVER at me," Patt protested. "Which you've made note of repeatedly," Jules pointed out. "And, if you keep harping on the subject, you do understand that the fact that you revile liver *will* be used against you in the next real WAR?" Patt paused her forward assault on Annie and straightened, digesting Jules' words. She turned a pale face toward the HP and meeped "Oops." "Yes," Jules said, arching an eyebrow at the Third Cousin. "Time to quiet down, wrap this puppy up and settle down. And, speaking of settling, I do *not* want to get stuck with the bill this time." "Okay, okay . . . it's my fiasco, so I'll pay for it." Patt reached for her wallet and withdrew her Gold card. She handed it to a shouting gentleman, whom she assumed was Mr. Ying, and waved him away. "You did that with panache," Jules smiled in approval. "Now--I want to go home." "And, I guess you want LaCroix to escort you?" Jules smiled sweetly. "He'd better, or you won't be writing NA fic anymore." "Gotcha. But, Jules. Do you really want LaCroix appearing at this exact moment?" "I want him," Jules said flatly. "Now." Patt winced. "Are you sure?" "Yes." Jules' voice was as soft as a tiger's purr. "Now." Patt closed her eyes. "Well, it appears that the *redecorating* has taken an interesting turn," the deep velvet voice was like a caress in Jules' ears. She turned to LaCroix, her face the epitome of cool chicness, as befit the High Priestess of Nunkies. Except for the smear of gravy on her left cheek. "Green would have suited you better," LaCroix observed, reaching out to tilt the HP's chin for better viewing. "Have you considered spinach?" Jules turned and looked at Patt. "I know who will die, now." "Not my fault," Patt held up both hands to feign-off attack. "You wanted him." "Annie, ma cherie," LaCroix called as he noted the NunkMommy trying to slink away. "Your homecoming is not exactly as I had planned, but it is good to have you back in my fold." Annie turned. "It is? You really missed me?" LaCroix released Jules, walked to Annie's side and clasped her hands in his own. "I've watched you from afar, cherie. Never a day went by that I didn't desire your return." He touched Annie's fingertips gently to his cool lips. Annie felt a little giddy and unable to speak. LaCroix smiled. "Go clean up and we'll start celebrating your homecoming--personally." Annie gulped hard, unable to move. LaCroix turned and tossed some keys in Jules direction. "I'm re-instating your Jaguar privileges, Jules. Don't abuse them." "That's it?" Jules was miffed and mortified, though too dignified to show it. "Annie gets you, and all I get is a stinkin car?" "Would you prefer a truck?" LaCroix's words sounded threatening. "I'm going back to the Shrine," Jules announced, tossing the keys upward and catching them easily. "I need a shower." She swept past LaCroix, but he caught her arm as she passed. "Scrub well, dear," he cooed. "I'll be calling on you later." Then he straightened and looked at Annie. "Run along, too, Ann. I'll meet with you shortly." Jules took Annie's arm and helped her exit the room. Once the NA leadership was gone, LaCroix turned back to the six addicts still present. "Clean up this mess," he instructed. "We'll discuss punishment later." Then, with a soft whoosh, Nunkies disappeared. "I'm not cleaning nothin'," Patt announced, sitting down in the nearest nearly clean chair. "I paid good money so I wouldn't have to clean." "What we need are some really buff bus boys," Sukh announced. "That would make the clean-up chores much more palatable." "Done," Patt snapped her fingers. Six extremely attractive, hunky waiter-types wandered into the room, assessing the damage. They looked around, muttered something like "could be worse--we've catered to FoDS" and began cleaning. One of the hunkiest walked over to Sukh. "You kinda messy, Missy," he remarked, starting to dab at her with a wet cloth. "This will work," Sukh smiled. "We'll catch you next story, Patt. Come on Jennifer, Tammy. Let's clean up." "You do like horses, don't you?" Jennifer asked a blonde beefcake with shoulders as broad as Texas. "Yes'um," the man drawled, then grinned at the woman. "Filly's too." "Looks like he has a *leg up*," Tammy smiled. She turned to begin her own chores and found herself facing the chest of a dark haired hunk. "You're taller than me!" she breathed, looking up into the face of Apollo. "And I can see more than your hair part," the handsome fellow smiled back. "You've got great eyes." "Okay," Patt said, looking at Christy and Glennis. "That leaves just the three of us." "Saved the best for last?" Glennis asked. "I want my camel ride," Christy whined. "You promised me a camel ride." "He's hitched out in the alley, if Screed didn't snack on him," Patt announced. Giggling with glee, Christy raced to the alley and began clapping with delight. Standing in front of her was a genuine Dromedary with silky cloth saddle and bangled reins. "Very stylish, Patt," Glennis said approvingly. "So, how do we get up on that thing?" "You need the help of a hero who is familiar with camels," a deep voice addressed the women. Dark hair flowing, dark eyes shining, TDD stepped from the shadows, resplendent in his flowing black robes. "I thought you were with Chris," Christy said, as Od helped her up on the camel. "The young one grew ill and took to her bed," Od replied, now assisting Glennis to her place on the mount. He smiled brilliantly at Glen. "The young ones . . . they wear out so fast. That is why LaCroix keeps sending them to my villa to rest and recuperate, I suppose." The camel stood and TDD took the lead rein. Glennis looked down at Patt and smiled. "Thanks for sharing." "Don't thank me too fast," Patt called as the addicts rode away with TDD beside them on horseback. "I kind of borrowed the camel from the zoo and there's an APB out on him. You might end up spending the night in jail, you know." Patt could not discern the women's muffled reply. With a sigh, she re- entered the restaurant and made a quick check of the cleaning progress. Things were going fine--a few more minutes and you wouldn't even be able to tell the addicts had been there. "Hi, Patt," a familiar voice broke into Patt's thoughts. Standing at the counter was Shele. "Hey, Shele. Didn't know you were about. How's it going?" "Fine. Just finishing up some errands for Nunkies and figured I'd stop in for some carryout. He's got a redecorating project going, you know . . ." ******************************* End of my part in this tale. Carry on the adventure if you wish, but Patt is retiring. Got too much to do the rest of this week. Have a good one and I enjoyed it all. Thanks for joining in. Patt ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 20:51:05 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums - Epilogue, Part 1 To: nunkies@world.std.com Well, Patt tied up all the loose ends except one. When last seen Glennis and Christy were riding away from Ying's Things on a stolen camel led by none other than TDD. You'll recall that Patt mentioned there was an APB out on the creature, and it hardly seems fit to let them get away with THAT, now does it? ******************************* Glennis looked back at Christy. "What was it that Patt just said? The camel knows his ABC's?" "No," said Christy, a sick look on her face. "There's an APB out on the camel. The camel's hot, Glennis." Shaking her head and nodding in Od's direction, Glennis replied, "No, honey, the camel *driver* is hot." She melted a bit as TDD flashed a brilliantly white smile in her direction. "Glennis, do you realize that we are riding on a stolen critter? Filched, heisted, misappropriated, pilfered, purloined, swiped, rustled. We're in deep camel cookies, babe." "You've been using that thesaurus again, haven't you?" "Glennis! Think with your brains instead of your glands for a few minutes here. We're about to be arrested for grand theft camel!" Glennis looked around. "Well, I don't see any signs of hot pursuit just yet. Maybe we can make it to Od's hotel." She turned to the darkly handsome one. "We *can* stop and freshen up a bit, can't we? I feel like the floor of a movie theatre after a Saturday matinee." "Of course, my little desert flower. I shall personally see to it that you are made...comfortable...once again," the TDD purred, eyes smoldering. Christy had to grab Glennis before she melted right out of the saddle. Rolling her eyes, Christy turned to Mr. Looks-Great-in-a-Burnoose-but-Still-Isn't-Nunkies. "Look, could you lay off the sweet talk until we actually get there? We *are* close, aren't we?" She looked around furtively for police cars. "Very close indeed. We have arrived, my frightened dove." Od smiled his most winning smile. "Sorry, babe. My heart belongs to Nunkies. Save the charm for Glennis." "It's not your heart I'm interested in," came the silken reply. Glennis swooned. ******************** "A camel? Who would steal a camel?" Nick said aloud. "Hmph! Probably the same sort of person who would break into a man's home and steal his universal remote!" Suddenly, his vampiric vision picked up a tall, tan, humped creature with two women on its back being led by what looked to be a Bedouin on horseback. The woman in front turned to speak to her companion. It was the driver of the truck carrying the harem pillows that he had passed on the fateful night when his beloved remote disappeared! The truck! Suddenly, he remembered where he'd seen the truck before. "Elmore!" he exclaimed. "Who else could possibly be so devious as to steal my remote...er, and the camel as well, of course." Still, neither of the women looked like Patt Elmore. He should know. He'd had her behind bars enough to know the face. Just then, the strange entourage turned a corner and disappeared behind a hotel. "Eighty-one kilo to dispatch. I have a visual on the missing camel. There are three suspects--one male, two female. Male appears to be wearing a burnoose. I'm checking it out." "Ten-four, 81 kilo. Do you require backup?" "Not at this time. Eighty-one kilo out." Nick pulled the caddy into the parking lot and followed his unsuspecting suspects into the building. The burnoosed one handed a room key to the ex-driver of the truck. "Room 1228, my dear. You and your friend go ahead. There are two bathrooms in the suite. Why don't you use the one with the large jacuzzi." The woman's companion had to grab her in order to keep her erect. " I must see to the animals before taking my ease." He kissed the woman's forehead (was that sweet and sour sauce below her left eye?) and left the building. Nick was torn. Should he follow the dark man and see to the safety of the critternapped camel or follow the women who might be able to lead him to his remote control? His decision was swift. He left the building and flew to the balcony of room 1228 to lie in wait for the women. They had some explaining to do! ****************************************************************************** From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 00:04:45 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Epilogue, Part Two To: nunkies@world.std.com Nick slid the balcony door open slightly, then slipped back outside as he heard a fumbling at the door. "Darned credit-card-slidey-thingee keys!" said a muffled female voice on the outside of the door. "Never can get the stupid things to work." "Give it here," said the second female voice. "I have to be in the jacuzzi when you-know-who gets back!" Nick was almost certain he heard eyes rolling. The door opened and the two female suspects entered. The ex-driver of the truck zipped in the door and made a beeline for the master bedroom. Within seconds, splashing sounds could be heard on the other side of the bedroom door. The other female, a short redhead, entered. Nick had never seen such a sight. The silk dress was pristine--not a spot on it, but the hair looked like it had been moussed...with chocolate. The woman sighed and tossed her purse on the couch. This was it. Nick was going in. "Freeze," he said, sliding the door fully open with his foot and sticking the gun in the room ahead of him. "Get your hands in the air!" A wide-eyed redhead met his gaze. He gestured with the gun, and two small hands slowly raised above her head. "Nick?" "How do you know my name?" he demanded. He searched through his flashbacks, but this woman was in none of them. "We have a...mutual acquaintance." She smiled demurely. "Could I lower my hands? I promise I'm not armed...not even with food." "Not until you answer a few questions." "Questions? About what, detective?" Christy was starting to get nervous now. There was a certain camel downstairs in the parking garage being fed right about now. She hoped Nick hadn't noticed him. "Last night, someone broke into my Loft and stole something very important to me. I saw your friend driving a truck past the warehouse just prior to my discovering that it was missing. I also noticed a flash of red hair burying itself in a pile of harem pillows." "*Overstuffed* harem pillows, Nick." "Ah hah! So, you *were* there!" "Crap. I always get *way* too talkative when I'm tired. I'm getting too old for this." Christy sighed. "Look, Nick, I don't have the remote, okay. Search the room, search my stuff," she gave him a coy look, "search me, if you like. I don't know where it is, and I don't care. My arms are getting tired. My hair feels like it's turning into cement, and I'm just plain exhausted." She did her best to look bedraggled and pitiful--not a particularly remarkable feat, since everything she had said was true. About that time, the tall, dark and studly one entered the room. Nick covered him with the gun, gesturing for him to join the redhead. "Remove the scimitar from your belt, place it on the floor, and kick it across the room," Nick instructed. An alpha male staring match ensued. Christy, totally disgusted with the whole macho thing now, gave them both a scathing look. "Just do it so we can get on with this scene and get some durn closure here, okay? It's getting late, and I have a RL job to go to tomorrow!" she sniped. The burnoosed one did as he was bid. "Nick, I'm putting my hands down now, and I'm going to take a bath. Baggy pants here is on his way to the jacuzzi. Glennis is bound to be pruning up now she's been waiting on him for so long. You can have a seat and wait for me. I promise I won't be long. If it'll make you feel better, you can dig through my purse looking for your precious remote, but I promise you IT'S NOT THERE!" Whirling, she stomped into the second bedroom and slammed the door behind her, leaving two stunned men standing in the living room. Nick holstered the gun and gestured TDD toward the door of the master bedroom, where plentiful splashing sounds could still be heard. "She has story control. Guess you'd better hit the jacuzzi." He raised his voice to be heard over the running bathwater in the next room. "And I AM going to check the purse!" *************************************************** From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 00:43:18 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Epilogue Part 3 To: nunkies@world.std.com A much cleaner female suspect emerged from the suite's second bedroom, wrapped in one of the hotel's chenile robes and drying her now shining red hair. Nick, now sitting on the couch, watched as she came out and reconsidered her earlier offer to allow him to search her. "Now," said the vampire detective. "I think we should talk." He gestured to the couch cushion next to him. "Uh-uh, Nick," she said as she sat in the chair opposite him. "I have no desire to become the neck of the week." The sound of giggling and splashing rose and fell in waves from the master bedroom. "I think I'm going to be ill," Christy said. "How did you know I was looking for my remote, Ms....." "Stillman. Christy Stillman--Nunkies Addict. I know you're looking for your remote because, well, I sort of took it. You know, if you hadn't left it lying around in such a obvious place, there's no way I could've found it and gotten out in time. You'd have caught me red-handed." "It's all my fault," Nick angsted. "I should hide the remote. People from other factions are always being tempted by it. They know how much I depend on it, and they can't resist tormenting me by taking it. I'm sorry." "It's okay, Nick. I'll forgive you this time," Christy offered generously. "Of course, there's still the matter of the camel down in the parking garage. The one I saw you and your friends with earlier. The one that was reported stolen from the zoo. An act, which I might add, would fit in with an addict's rather...eccentric...activities." Crud. He'd seen the camel. She listened to the sound of happy splashing in the jacuzzi. Glennis was her friend, and she was having such a good time. Christy hated the idea of getting her arrested at this point. She sighed and bit the bullet. "Those two had nothing to do with it. I wished for a camel ride, and the fanfic fairies provided. In your own words, Nick, 'It's all my fault.'" ************************************************************************* Christy looked around the precinct as she was taken to be fingerprinted and have mug shots made. At least Nick had let her fix her hair and makeup. He had even mentioned how stunningly the dress brought out the green of her eyes. But he had still arrested her for camelnapping. Now, she was about to see a side of the station house that she would really rather have avoided. She was led to a cell. Detective Nick Knight made two more arrests that evening. One, a dangerous criminal, the other, a woman found carrying Nick's purloined property. Christy was moved to the latter's cell in order to accommodate the former. "Well," said a pert voice as the bars slid open to admit Christy, "they seem to be running a special on short redheads this evening. I don't suppose you're wearing non-sensible shoes, too?" ********************************************************************************* From: br1035@ix.netcom.com Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 14:27:44 -0500 (CDT) To: nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums... I want to congratulate everyone who participated in the round robin! You did a magnificent job, and, though I was late reading the proceedings, you all had me ROTFLOL! When this is all well and truly wrapped up, I'd love to add the jolly goings-on to the Peach page, archived as our first NA fracas. Everyone really outdid themselves, and you should all feel proud of the extrordinary amount of talent and wit you shared on list! Now, to explain my absence... Bons non-sensible PTB ******************************* Summer Doldrums: Slacker Scribe Sentenced Bonnie wriggled around in the less-than-comfy chair provided by the O.S.I.R. central lab, trying to achieve a more seductive pose. This is a difficult endeavor when one is only five feet tall, lacking in a plantation of leg surface with which to tease and tantalize a would-be planter. When one is five feet tall, it's a big accomplishment when one's feet actually reach the floor. Silently cursing while she outwardly fluttered her lashes, Bonnie wished for the seventh time that she had access to one of the Shrine divans. Even short people can drape languidly over peach brocade. It had taken her *hours* to get the rest of the team out of the room, and Bonnie was fully determined to take advantage... Releasing a soft sigh, then shooting a ravenous smile at the iron-gray haired man across from her, the Scribe said, "I do so adore hearing you expound your equations, Professor Axon. I'm so happy you're interested in studying the laws of fanfic physics in more *intimate* detail." Peter Axon frowned, as he was wont to do when confronted by anything perplexing or displeasing. Peter Axon could be found frowning about 75% of the time. Now, some would label such an effusion of discontent as reminiscent of TOG, but they wouldn't do it in Bonnie's hearing without wearing earplugs and body armor. 'Nuf said. Peter was still frowning, but now he stood and began to pace as he thought. Finally, the professor paused in front of Bonnie and said, "From what you're telling me, fanfic fairies are neither subject to any continuity regarding time, nor space." Bonnie nodded up at him enthusiastically. "Nor wardrobe! Speaking of which, have I shown you my new non-sensible sandals?" That said, the perky redhead raised one leg high in the air (she'd become much more flexible since she started that cardiac kickboxing). Being short, of course, her foot only reached as high as his abdomen, so Bonnie conveniently rested the tip of her bronze-painted toenails against Axon's unconveniently covered washboard stomach. Bonnie smiled again, slowly this time. "Non-sensible shoes consistently break the laws of physics as you know them." An pseudo-innocent blink-blink followed. "Go ahead. You can study me more closely." For a moment, Axon frowned at the proffered specimen of podiatry-bills-waiting- to-happen. Then, he remembered that he wasn't always a studious stick-in-the-mud, and he hadn't had anyone of legal age come on to him for at least a season and a half. Well, not counting that time he spent in prison... The cute painted toes trailing a delicate path down his stomach were attached to an equally cute redhead. Peter's frown evaporated, tranforming into a Nobel Prize- worthy smile. "You're a very interesting subject." Bonnie nodded knowingly. "I've consistently baffled some of the finest minds in Nunkies Anonymous." Peter's hands began tracing slowly from the redhead's foot in the direction of her knee. "Do you want to cut out of here? My motorcycle's parked -" "Where you won't be using it for several hours yet," a silky voice broke in. "You have too much work to do." "Frank!" Peter exclaimed, then dropped Bonnie's foot faster than you can say 'caught.' Bonnie had experienced a moment of panic. After all, Frank Elsinger was a living ringer for Nunkies. He even had The Voice. That was enough to spawn a temporary qualm of guilt combined with fear. Elsinger was not, however, Nunkies. He wasn't even a pod person trying to impersonate Nunkies. Bonnie quickly recovered, instantly regaining her confidence until she noticed the mouth pinch of the-man-who-wasn't-Nunkies-or-an-alien when Peter called him 'Frank,' as though that name held a bitter aftertaste. Uh oh. That was a bad sign. This was Nunkies-impersonating-Elsinger. Bad, bad, bad. Bons thought, "And Peter...Leave Ms. Rutledge's file with me," The Voice commanded. "I will be taking care of her case from here on out." Peter Axon appeared mulish as he tossed the said file the would-be-Elsinger's way, though he remained silent as he loped out of the room. Bonnie, however, did not suffer in silence. "Boooooooo! I never get to have any fun unless it involves shoes or throwing a party for *you*!!" Peeking at LaCroix, the Scribe noted the fury rising in the master vampire's visage. The Scribe scanned the room for any conveniently-placed columns for her to duck behind. She was out of luck. "*You,*" LaCroix hissed, grabbing her firmly by the upper arm (In retrospect, Bons would be thankful he displayed that much restraint. Dragging her by her hair would have been much more painful. Being slung over his shoulder, giving O.S.I.R the fanny salute, would have been much more embarrasing.) and marching her out of the room, then through Central Lab. "You have an incredible degree of nerve, pussyfooting around Axon instead of obeying my missive ordering you to the Shrine for a mission." LaCroix's expression was thunderous. "You missed everything! Even the 'Woo Hoo Gai Pan' Jules had made in your honor!" Bonnie was prone to bouts of giggling when she was afraid or stressed. "'Pussyfooting around Axon'? Please, sir...*teehee*...you're making me blush!" Growling ensued. Bonnie snapped out of her hysterical reverie as her mind centered on an important detail in LaCroix's reprimand. "Wait! Wait!" Bons flapped her free arm at the vampire, a perfect Charade for a Stevie Nicks song. "What missive? You sent me a missive? I didn't get a missive! A-ha! I'm innocent!" They had reached the parking lot of the O.S.I.R. establishment. LaCroix released Bonnie's arm and coldly eyed her up and down. "Doubtful." Strangely, the coldness of LaCroix's visage melted, replaced by an amused, if deadly, smile. "Tell me, Bonnie. Have you checked your e-mail since last Friday?" The Scribe had the grace and good sense to blush penitently. "Uhm, no, sir." "You were too occupied pursuing other prey to go online, weren't you, my dear?" LaCroix continued smoothly. "Uhm...I guess you could put it that way..." Bonnie admitted sheepishly. "I did. You are fortunate that my other, more attentive, addicts are more than capable of handling my desires. It's just as well you weren't there. You tend to cause messes, I'm afraid." At this last bit, Bonnie found a bit of her spirit again. It was very unflattering of LaCroix to tell her she was unnecessary. She liked that in an evil man. It was shameless, absolutely shameless. There was a slight Nunklear glow as the Scribe smiled. "You flatterer." LaCroix allowed himself a short chuckle. He *loved* it when people appreciated his evil. Most of his anger had disappated, though he made sure to continue his chiding of the perky redhead with an air of stern disapproval. "You realize that I am very unhappy with your failure to answer my summons?" Bonnie nodded, displaying just the right hint of remorse. "Yes, sir." "And it will not happen again?" A slight pause. Fingers crossed behind a back. "Uh...yes, sir." "Well, then. I will bid you adieu. I had to take time out from welcoming Annie back in private to deal with you. I shall return to her side." Bonnie appeared confused. "You mean, I'm not getting punished?" LaCroix didn't answer her question. Instead, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an oblong box wrapped in matte black paper. "I presented each of my loyal Addicts with a gift. I won't make you an exception." Bons accepted it gleefully. "Al-right! Being insubordinate rocks!" Her expression sobered as she peeked at her company. "Though I would completely frown upon participating in any insubordination in the future, of course." "Enjoy," LaCroix drawled, then *whooshed!* into the night sky. Bonnie almost bounced as she tore off the wrapping paper. LaCroix gave excellent gifts. Maybe it was a watch, reminding her to keep an eye on her time. Maybe it was plane tickets to his homeland! Maybe it was... Bonnie yanked open the box. Inside was a universal remote. A well-worn universal remote. "But I don't even have cable," Bonnie said, grimacing. She lifted the remote from its box, examining it in incomprehension. "There must be some mistake." There was the sound of a car entering the parking lot. It braked in front of the Scribe, rudely shining its headlights on her full-force so that she had to raise both hands and the remote to shield her eyes from the glare. There was the sound of a car door opening. "Hey! Do you mind?" Bons complained. Suddenly, Bonnie was grabbed from behind and pushed up against the car. Removed from the light, she gazed in dismay as her eyes refocused. She was leaning against a metallic green Cadillac. The universal remote was snatched from her grip. Bonnie groaned. "I don't mind arresting you for breaking and entering, as well as possession of stolen property," TOG announced from behind her. Bonnie's expression became rueful as her wrists were cuffed behind her back. "Silly me, thinking I could committ a transgression and escape any punishment." "And you'll have plenty of time to contemplate the error of your ways in lockup," Nick said smugly. "Lemme guess," Bonnie muttered. "You got an anonymous tip about the location of your stolen remote." "I guess there's no honor among Addicts." "Yeah." Bonnie grinned. "Isn't it great?!?!" ************************************************************************************ Okay, that's my contribution to the masterpiece! :D From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 22:27:10 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Heading Home---Jen's part To: nunkies@world.std.com Well, since Nick seems to be chasing a camel at the moment, and I need him in my story but won't have another opportunity to write for a few days, we'll assume that my little homecoming takes place after Christy's epilogue. Also, I guess we'll assume this happened after LaCroix spent his quality time with the Nunkmommy. He will be returned to her after a brief put down of myself. ---------------------------------- Jennifer was exhausted. She'd been spending a good deal of time in her room, wiping food and flower remains from her body and clothes. She'd hand-washed her garments, and then stuffed them in a plastic back for the ride home. They could be re-washed and dried later. Now, she was back to her horsey self in clean navy breeches and a fitted burgundy tank top. She wore tennis shoes for the moment. He riding shoes were at the Stables with the rest of her less than pristine gear. She sighed deeply. She'd narrowly escaped punishment on Shrine grounds. After several minutes of pleading with LaCroix that she *had* to get back home to help with the garage sale and the packing before her family moved, she had finally earned a temporary pardon from the General. "Remember, Jennifer. This pardon is *temporary*. You *will* serve your sentence in due course," he admonished her as they stood on a Toronto street. "Yes, sir," she said, eyes downcast. "Perhaps I should lock you in a room to listen to recordings of Nicholas', what do you American's call them these days? Ah yes, 'guilt-trips' for an entire twenty-four hours." Jennifer's face fell. She didn't mind Nick, even liked him most of the time, but an entire day of him angsting!!! That was a fate worse than death... She pulled herself together in time to hear LaCroix tell her to think on it before disappearing. "Why do I always fall for the disappearing act guys?" she muttered to herself. "Because you like us," a faint Scottish brogue said. Jen spun around and looked up. "Duncan! What are you *doing here*?!" "I jus' came to see how you were doin'. I heard you took a trip up here, an' I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop by an' see what you were up to. Who was tha' man?" "That was Nu- ahem, the General." "The General?" the highlander asked, raising a brow. "So you don't get all the good women," a new Scottish voice chimed in. "Conner!!! What the-" (see what happens when all of your not-so-real objects of affection take residence in your brain and control of your story?---Jennifer) "Same reason as Duncan," the other Immortal said briefly. "Uh huh. Sure." Jennifer looked to the sky and muttered under her breath, "Why do I always pick up the interesting ones? Just *once* I'd like a nor-" She quickly shut her mouth before yet another member of the opposite sex could burst in on the scene. "Walk you home?" both highlanders asked at once, then glared at each other when they realized what they had done. "Oh no you don't," when Jen saw the look in their eyes. There would be no more fighting in her current storyline. "And no you can't," she went on. "Why not?" they asked at once. Again, they glared. "Because it's my secret, that's why. Ah ah ah!" she said as they started to protest. "No more! I'm leaving, and that's that. Now I want you two to go back to your own realities and stay there!" Thankfully, Jen hadn't had to deal with any opposition when she'd sent the blond bus boy home. He was handsome, and he was interested in horses, but not her type. They exchanged e-mails and promised to keep in touch... as friends. So now, here she was, just finished packing her gear and ready to go home. She was on her way out the door of the Shrine, having said farewell to everyone already, when she slapped her forehead. "Crud!" she cried. "I can't *believe* it! I am so *stupid*!" she ranted as she realized that she hadn't done what she'd told her family and friends she intended to accomplish in Toronto. Had she admitted to going to the Shrine, they would have locked her up in a padded room. No, she'd told them she was there for a book signing and horse clinic that just *happened* to be in Toronto during the time frame of Uncle's "project." She'd taken care of the horse clinic bit, having seen the professional trainer and worked out a cover story with her. She'd managed to bribe her with video tapes of some very promising young horses from Oklahoma who were then for sale. The book signing, however, was that night and ending *very* soon. She couldn't get there on foot, and certainly couldn't take Coup. She didn't have the money to spare for public transportation, either. Jen slung her backpack over her shoulders and rushed out of the Shrine. She'd find some way to get there. Just as she was beginning to cross an almost empty street, a classic Caddy, top down, came roaring towards her. Her eyes grew wide as she froze. The driver swerved and squealed to a halt. Jen stood there, staring at the teal green vehicle and gasping for her breath. The driver rushed out of the car and reached her in record time. "Are you all right?" he asked anxiously. When Jen didn't answer the pale-skinned, blue-eyed, blond-haired man, he placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a light shake. That did the trick. "What the **** were you thinking?! You could have killed me! I can't *believe* you people! Don't you *ever* pay *any* attention to *anything* that's going on around you?!" Nick gaped at her, then stumbled to appease the distraught girl. "I- I'm really sorry, I didn't mean-" "Oh, yah, I *know* you didn't *mean* to! I have your number, mister-" "Knight, Detective Knight. I really *am* sorry about this whole-" Jen held up her hand before he could launch into a true angst-fest. "I *don't* want to hear it." Nick stared at her, speechless. Before he could say or do anything else, Jennifer leapt into his caddy, started it up, and drove away. She screamed back at him, "You should be more careful about when you have those flashbacks!" Nick's jaw dropped even further, if at all possible. She hadn't! She couldn't! But she had, and apparently since she had, she could, and oh his poor Caddy!!! (And oh the poor writer and readers. This is making me dizzy---Jennifer) Nick slapped himself, but it didn't work. He was paralyzed with dismay. His precious Caddy, gone the way of his universal remote! But that hadn't been Patt or one of her cohorts. Suddenly, Nick's brain kicked back into gear. Something he'd seen on her shirt... Wait a minute!!! It had been a button, and not just any button, a Nunkies Annonymous button!!! "Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he cried out, rivaling even Luke Skywalker's famous cry from . Well, this time, he wasn't letting her get away. Oh no, it wasn't enough that his father bothered him. LaCroix had to have a whole legion of trouble waiting to happen. If he was right, that Addict was a newbie, and bound to make mistakes. He'd catch up with her and his beloved car soon enough. ---------------------------------- To be continued... From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 22:39:45 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Heading Home---#2 To: nunkies@world.std.com It keeps going and going and going... --------------------------------- Jen pulled into the parking lot of the huge bookstore and glanced at her watch. Plenty of time, the book signing wasn't over for another twenty minutes. She dug her book out of her bag and entered the store. A figure separated from the shadows and followed her in. Jennifer thanked the author of her latest favorite vampire book again, and headed out the door. There'd been few people at the signing so late, and she'd taken the luxury of engaging in a little conversation over the novel with its creator. Now, she carefully tucked her treasure away, wrapped in an everything-proof bag (available at your local superstore). As she walked out of the store, an arm slid around her waist. "Not so fast, now." "Hello, Spike. Nice to see you again," she said. "Walk me to m- Nick's car?" "Why, certainly." The two climbed in, this time with Spike behind the wheel, and took a rather circuitous route in the direction of the Shrine. They were almost there when Nick landed in front of his precious Caddy. Spike would have run him over if Jennifer hadn't stopped him. She pecked the bleached blond vampire on the cheek. "Thanks for the lift, love. See you when I get home," she said as she climbed out of the car. "Sure thing, dearheart," Spike said as he lit a smoke and wandered off into the night. "Nice car, mate," he said to Nick as he passed the much older and *much* more pi.... (ahem) the much *angrier* vampire. Nick seethed, but kept control as the Addict neared him. "Hi," she said, offering her hand. "Name's Jennifer." Nick ignored it. "You done with my car?" he growled. "Oh, yah," Jen said. "Thanks for letting me borrow it." "You're welcome," Nick said. He *really* wanted to bite this girl, purely for reasons such as vengeance, pain, suffering, nemesis, payback... "Well, I'd better be going if I want to get home on time. Oklahoma's a long way from here, you know." "Figures," Nick muttered. "An Okie Addict. Don't you have any laws in America?" "As a matter of fact, we do, but I'm not an Okie. I'm an Army Brat. Where I'm from depends on your point of view. Now, if you're talking birthplace, then it's Colorado Springs, Colorado. If you're talking..." It didn't take long before Jennifer's list of homes and definitions of home sank Nick deep into flashback/angst mode. She kept talking as she led the dazed vampire back to his car and put him in the driver's seat. She made cerain that the keys were out of the ignition and sitting on the passenger seat. She didn't want LaCroix's son driving around in his condition. She might really get it if anything happened to him. Then again, she might not... --------------------------------- Just one more, I promise. From: LdyofSable@aol.com Date: Wed, 2 Jun 1999 23:07:04 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums/Heading Home---#3 To: nunkies@world.std.com This is the last part. I swear... ---------------------------- Jennifer walked into the Sacred Stables and smiled when her horse actually nickered at her. She pulled a couple of Horse Nibbles cookies from her backpack and fed them to him over the stall door. He looked like he had had no problem at all with staying in a luxuriously appointed box stall. The hay was sweet and fresh, the water buckets clean and full, and the bedding of the highest quality. A door opened into a small, grassy paddock, allowing Coup free access to a grazing and sunning area. Jennifer slipped his halter onto him and led him into the aisle. She tied him loosely to a post by the tack room, and went in to get her things. First, she put on her proper barn shoes and pulled her hair back. Then she pulled out a soft brush. She ran it over Coup's shimmering hide. LaCroix's stables and their occupants were so well cared for, no other cleaning, other than that of the hooves, was really neccessary. Coup sniffed Jennifer's hair as she but his exercise boots on all of his legs, and then put his ears forward when she carried the saddle out. His owner laid the burgundy, gray, and navy pad down carefully, then put the dark english saddle on top of it. She pulled the girth tight and strechted Coup's legs to prevent pinching. Finally, she put her chaps, gloves, and helmet on. She double-checked the tack room, making certain that she had everything before securing her saddle bags. She took Coup's halter off and packed it away. With a few murmurs of "Come on, that's my boy," she had her treasure bridled and ready to go. She waited until she was off the Shrine grounds to mount her horse. As he had before, Angel appeared to help her into the saddle. "You must really get a kick out of that," she said to him from atop her horse. "Oh, you wouldn't believe how literal that is with inexperienced riders." "Yes I would. I taught beginner lessons, remember? Somehow, someone always manages to kick you on their first leg-up. It's not pleasant." Angel smiled. "Have a safe trip home." "We will." Jennifer turned Coup, and trotted away. She passed the alley where she'd left Nick and his Caddy. The vampire was still there, but he seemed to have moved past the flashback/angst stage to just severe angsting. It was a long trip home, but Jennifer and Coup made sure it was a good one. When Jennifer put her horse in his stall, there was, as promised, a Divia carrot dispenser. He happily set to munching on goodies as she cleaned and put up his tack. "Tired?" someone asked her. "Yes, I am. Care to give me a hand, Luke?" "Sure," the Jedi said. "Thanks." Jennifer smiled at one of her few mortal, human obsessions. Then again, he was a mortal with some interesting talents. "So," Luke said, "about that Star Wars/Forever Knight/Animaniacs crossover you've been suggesting..." ---------------------------- It's over!!! :-) Hee hee hee. I'm free! I'm free! Dang it! I have more unfinished stories for other commitments!!! Oh well. :-) No rest for the wicked. To: Nunkies@world.std.com Subject: NA: Doldrums Drum roll . . . From: Patricia L Elmore Date: Wed, 02 Jun 1999 22:28:48 EDT "I'm tired," Patt complained, shifting slightly with discomfort. "Only 2,745,414 more tiles to go," Jules replied. The High Priestess looked quite content and comfortable stretched out on the velvet divan she'd had placed close to Patt's work area. "Make bigger circles and the cleaning will go faster." "This really isn't fair, Julsie," Patt announced, rocking back on her heals and dropping the scouring pad into the soapy bucket. "All the other addicts contributed as much, or more, to the Ying yanking as I did but they aren't down on their knees. Oh, no, they're cavorting around in togas and decorating the Shrine. Stringing garland here, lighting candles there, dusting Nunkies' faces all over the place . . ." "Patt, dear, you're rambling," Jules broke in, never taking her eyes from her manicuring. "If you feel your punishment does not fit the crime, you may always plead your case to a higher court?" "Traffic?" Patt said hopefully. "I was thinking more of LaCroix Court," Jules smiled evilly. "He has quite a reputation as a judge, you know." Patt gave the HP a nasty look. "I really hate it when you've spent some quality time with Nunkies," the Third Cousin said. "You get rather . . . smug." Jules stretched with the grace of a waking Siamese, but said nothing. With a heavy sigh, Patt picked up the Chore Boy and continued scrubbing. "Jules?" "Yes, Patt." "You never did tell me what the squiggly line was." Jules cocked an eyebrow at the other woman. "Squiggly line?" "Yea," Patt said. "You remember . . . on the scroll. The squiggly line on the bottom floor of the Shrine plans." "Oh, that line." Jules smiled. "LaCroix's original plans included the construction of a canal to run the length of the Shrine, with gondolas floating on it." "Kewl!" Patt grinned with delight at the thought of more Nunkies waterworks. "Don't go grabbing your oars, Third Cousin," Jules sat back in her divan and continued her filing. "That, like the other construction ideas, is just a fantasy." ***************************** So . . . I posted again. Anyone other than my mother want to shoot me?? Patt From: Ntkiss@aol.com Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 02:23:35 EDT Subject: NA: Doldrums/Epilogue/Sukh To: nunkies@world.std.com Aha! We really aren't done yet! Sukh ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Well that was much more fun than I thought," Sukh commented as the watched the Busboy o' dreams do her part of the cleanup. She focused on the play of tight muscles across his bare back as ... "Are you finished?" Sukh snapped out of her cheesy romance novel reverie as Michael's voice sounded in her ear. Crap! She'd left her ear comm on. "Umm, not quite," She simpered as the cover model worthy busboy approached her. "Yes, well, I do have things for you to do in my Harem." Ice dripped from each French accented word. "It isn't Tuesday yet." Sukh commented as she took the busboys arm and started out of the restaurant. She reached up and removed her ear comm, tossing it in a nearby trash bin. "Nice eye candy," Angel commented as he walked out of the shadows. "Aw, man, not you too?" Sukh sighed. She had to watch less television. Next Xander would come out of the woodwork, or Duncan, or Mel. Okay, she could handle Mel, especially in a kilt. "Hey I'm just looking out for you," Angel smiled. "Besides I can tell you were irked not to get to see that Tattooed dude in the burnoose alone." "Don't remind me," Sukh sighed. "But Nunkies looks hot in a burnoose too, so I'll get over it." Sukh smiled at the busboy and stepped close to the Harley at the curb. The long haired guy in black grinned at her, then shook his head as Angel gave her a peck on the cheek. "Later, at the mansion. Don't let Michael hog you." Then he melted into the Toronto night. Eric grinned again as he waved off the hunky busboy. "I can take it from here." "Bye." She slipped a piece of paper into the dark haired guy's hand. "My email. Write to me." "I will," he promised as he watched her mount up behind Eric. The Harley revved and Eric turned to her. " I see we've had far too much fun," He turned and reached out to get a stray snow pea from her hair. "Hey, its a Nunkies thing." Sukh grinned back and swiped at a bit of indertiminate sauce on her nose. "What is it with you and the undead?" he asked as he turned back around. "Well, Eric, I have this thing about guys in black. You-although the bird does follow a little to close sometimes: Nunkies-black Armani, Michael-Mission pants, Angel-Black leather. See a pattern?" She teased. "I do." He revved the bike and they took off towards the shrine. Once at the shrine, she hopped off. "Thanks, Eric." Eric shook his head, and fingers a sticky lock of hair. "Anytime." Then he was gone with a growl of the Harley. She snuck in, managing to get past the HP and Grout duty and slipped into her room. She ran into a solid chest and gasped. Icy green eyes stared her down. "And how many other men in different series to you have stashed away?" Michael asked her. Then he got a good look at her rapidly crusting face. "Umm, food fight." Sukh looked for her clothes. They were packed and waiting. "I need a shower." "I'll wait." "Nunkies is going to kill me if he finds you here. Could you at least lurk on the street outside?" "No." Sukh sighed. "Fine." She came out of the shower ten minutes later to find her clothes laid out and a toothbrush nearby. "You didn't really think I'd let you get away with that, did you?" Nunkies was glaring at her. "I don't like to share my addicts." His voice was quiet, too quiet. "And I certainly don't let them into MY shrine." He motioned to the toothbrush. "Feel free to help the third cousin wit her grout duties. Five minutes." "Yes, General." Five minutes later she was kneeling alongside of the Third cousin, scrubbing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bye!!! (For now!) Sukh From: NewCousin@aol.com Date: Thu, 3 Jun 1999 23:46:37 EDT Subject: NA: Summer Doldrums -- Epilogue Part 4 - Finally, the End! To: nunkies@world.std.com Okay, let's put this puppy to bed. I'm leaving tomorrow for Disneyworld, so I'd best get this done tonight. It'll be short and sweet with probably enough cheesy rationalization at the end to keep a whole horde of Screed's sweet little squealers happy. Just wanted to say how much I've enjoyed this whole romp through the park. You're a wild and crazy bunch, and this feels even more like home now. Hugs! Christy ************************************* The two redheads scrutinized one another. Suddenly, Christy felt the pieces fall into place. "Wait! Non-sensible shoes on a short redhead...you're Bonnie, aren't you?" she exclaimed. "We've been missing you. Too bad you couldn't have been here from the beginning." Bonnie grimaced as she remembered how beautifully Nunkies had framed her. "Yeah, tell me about it." Christy looked around the cell. "Pretty boring place they have here. The least they could do is put in a poster of 'Lucius in Repose' or something." The discussion on room decor was interrupted when the doorway down the hall opened to admit TOG and Glennis, who was smiling broadly. "You're both getting out! The charges have been dropped!" she chortled. "No way!" the women said in unison. "Way," answered Nick. "I've dropped the charges against your Scribe since *you,* he indicated Christy with a glare, "have admitted to stealing it." Christy had the good grace to blush slightly. "And, I've also dropped the charges against you, green-eyed lady," he continued with that charming boyish grin. "After all, most of the blame is mine. I really shouldn't have left it lying around in the first place. It's back safe and sound and no actual harm was done." She smiled. "Why Detective Knight, how very chivalrous of you." Glennis broke in excitedly, "And the whole camel fiasco is over too! When TDD and I got your note that you'd been arrested and that Nick was bringing you here, we went to zoo. Tall, dark and studly charmed the pan...um...discussed the matter with the Director of the zoo, and *she* says all is forgiven. The camel checked out none the worse for wear, and since *she* was in such a good mood, *she's* dropped the charges." Glennis pouted for a moment. "Then he had to leave. Seems Chris suddenly started feeling *much* better." "Glennis, I left that note hours ago." Glennis blushed, "Yes, well, it did take us a little while to find it. Then there was the half-hour drive to the zoo and a couple of hours of...um...discussion between TDD and the zoo director...." "Nevermind, girlfriend. I'm just glad to see you. Let's get the heck outa here and get back to the Shrine!" ****************************** The Caddy drove away and left the three women standing outside the still-closed Jeweled Peach in the pre-dawn hours. Going around to the alley, they tiptoed inside. The only sound they heard was one of scrubbing punctuated by the HP stating, "You missed a spot." "This is *not* looking good, guys," said the Scribe. "Grout duty has been assigned, and I have a funny feeling that more heads are going to roll. Ours in particular." "Indeed," said a voice dark and rich as molten chocolate. LaCroix detached himself from the shadows, arms crossed, looking down upon his troublesome addicts. Bonnie groaned. Glennis began to melt. Christy, caught up in the icy blue eyes, just grinned goofily. The HP joined LaCroix, three toothbrushes extended. "You three can change and join Patt and Sukh. I'm sure they'll be most grateful for the assistance." They each grabbed a toothbrush and headed dejectedly for their rooms to change into proper grout-scrubbing attire. Suddenly, Christy exclaimed, "Glennis! What did you do with them?" "Oh! Right here in my pocket, but *I'm* not giving them the things. Grout duty for life is *not* my idea of fun." She passed something small to Christy, who slowly approached the HP and LaCroix. "Um, since we're all going to be a little...occupied...could one of you possibly see that Nick gets these?" A small, mischievous grin appeared. "I'm sure he'll want them back." She extended her closed hand. LaCroix's eyebrow lifted in warning. His patience was wearing thin. Swallowing convulsively, the hand opened to reveal four double-A batteries lined up neatly on her little palm. "Well," she explained, "he just left the durn remote sitting there again. I could hardly let him get away with having dragged me off to jail, now could I? After all, it's not like I stole the whole thing again. Glennis just held them for me until they could process the paperwork to release me." LaCroix held out his hand, and she gave him the batteries. "I will see that Nicholas' property is returned." He gave her a stern look, but amusement gleamed in his eyes. As the three continued on their way, LaCroix turned to Jules. "A bit raw." "True, but training will help with that." Glancing once again at the batteries in his hand, the corners of LaCroix's mouth turned slightly upward. "She *does* show promise, though." *************** *fin* Consider yourself cured of the Summer Doldrums! :D