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Mustache Mania

16^thEdition

June 9^th, 1999

Welcome back to the pre-season of Mustache Mania. This is just one of the special summer editions of Mustache Mania. Come September MM will be back to a bi-weekly publication. So sit back grab a beer and enjoy........

Adventures of Mustache Man...

Update:

I have reached Rico-Suave's hide out, but with the Bucked tooth .... (:[B .... watching over the base it's hard to find out where my Jennifer Love Hewitt and One Leg'id man are being kept. The homing device i put on my Jennifer tells me she and probably One Legg'id Man are being kept some place in the west wing. I am currently staking out the place getting to know the schedule of the guards while I await back up from Sucky-Sucky .... :~O .... So I will keep you all up-to-date.

Name that song...

Yes another season is about to begin for name that song. All scores have been erased so the slate is clean. good luck!

"I love myself I want you to love me, When I feel down I want you above me, I search myself I want you to find me, I forget myself I want you to remind me, I don't want anybody else....."

Please send all resonses to mustachemania@hotmail.com

Top 10 things learned at Rockweb...

by Allison

10. You can learn a lot being a lurker.

9. People argue and complain just as much in their fantasy internet-world as in the real world.

8. Not all people you meet in real life from the internet are weirdo's.

7. More people lurk than talk

6. Glenn only comes into Rockweb to do the nekkid dance.

5. There are girls out there that will do anything (and I mean ANYTHING) for attention.

4. Most People enjoy talking to themselves.

3. Some peope have WAY too much time on their hands. (including myself)

2. It's a hassle for guys with long hair to be clean. AND the #1 Thing Learned at Rockweb is....

1. YOB stands for Young Obedient Boys.

Things that I have learned already this summer...By Ben

The summer holidays brings many experiences and each experience teached us something new. Hopefully we learn...for the better...frim these experience but more often than not we don't.

One of my main experiences that I have had, and which I have leared not to do again...well so far anyways. I ,learned that the truck springs i make are heavy and when flipping them over make sure ALL your fingures are out of the way.

I have also learned that there are some pretty studid people in this world. I really don't have the time to explain this it would take for ever just to tell you half of it. But anyways the really really really short version is LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES!!! if not from the first time at least after the fourth or fifth time "r"!

Moths, I hate mothes. Yes those little whitish things that fly around. It's impossible to kill them all, and when you get rid of two or three there are like twenty more flying around. The worste part about them is that they are so damn cocky! i'll kill like one or two and then on will sit right on my computer screen. Or when you swat one but miss it, the damn thing will fly so close to your body that you can't swat it again.

The finaly thing that I learned I actually just learned tonight at rockweb. I learned that Mongrel likes porn.

Adventures Of Mustache Man...

Up-date....

I just recieved word from a Sparticus he wants to help me save my Jennifer Love Hewitt and One Legg'id Man aswell take out Rico Suave and :[B and their gang!

Rules for Driving...forwared e-mail

*When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass.

* Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car.

* The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it.

* Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work.

* Always look both ways when running a red light.

* Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in.

* Making eye contact revokes your right of way.

* Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.

Usless facts and stuff...compiled by Ben

*note the following has not been checked for accuracy*

Most toilets flush in E flat

It is illegal to get fish drunk in Oklahoma

If you live in Michigan, did you know it's illegal to place a skunk inside your bosses desk?

In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice cream in your back pocket

Mailing an entire building has been illegal in the U.S. since 1916 when a man mailed a 40,000-ton brick house across Utah to avoid high freight rates.

According to a british law passed in 1845, attempting to commit suicide was a capital offense. Offenders could be hanged for trying

It is expressly illegal in Texas to have oral [relations] with fowl

It is against the law to play dominoes in Alabama on Sundays.

Trivia Time...

This is a new section to MM. It works much like name that song. Each edition of MM I will ask a trivia question. If you know the answer e-mail the answer along with your name or handle and if possible the edition number. The following edition I will post the correct answer along with the standings of people who have sent me the correct answer. G'luck!

This week's question:

What are "hoodoos"?

Send your answers to mustachemania@hotmail.com

Deep thoughts...By Ben

If the brand name of my computer is IPC (intelligent person computer) Why is it so stupid?!

why is it that so many people come to the bar every night but they forget their ID at home? oh but they say they are of age...

Phrase of the day...

hookt on fonics workt four me two!

Real life drama in the life of me...by Ben

As some of you have been informed, during my spring break an incident had occured. Many people have been asking me about the outcome so I thought I'd take this opertunity so all courious people will know. I was at the bar...a rivial bar because my mom thought that the bar I work in is too violent...Anyways I met up with my friend we were having a great time winning lots of prizes. Well next thing I know, my friend's fiance walks in and he didn't like the fact that she was out having a good time especially with me cause he doesn't like...someone not liking me get that eh. Well my friend told me not to leave the bar because her fiancee was waiting outside for me. I didn't really care I was having a grand 'ol time. I got up to goto the washroom and sure enough the fiancee walks in. He was kind enough to wait till I was finished taking Herbert for a walk. He stood there at the door and didn't want to let me out. He started getting pissy, I was mellow keeping my cool. His buddy then walked in and I was like great 2 on 1 ohh well I have had worse odds against me. His buddy tried to calm him down but that just made him mader. I ended up he punched me once just above my eye caught me just right to make me bleed all over the Kokanee vest I had just won. He took off real quick. He was then dragged out by the bouncers. I went to the bar that I work in across the street with my friend and got cleaned up a little. Then my friend and I went to the police station around the corner and filed assault charges against him. The guy then tried to get charges of "sexual harrasment" put up against me, but my friend and his now ex-fiancee wouldn't go for it because I did nothing to her. He went to court 3 or 4 times and in the end nothing happened to him. The judge told him if he screws up again he'll get a $500 fine.

Send all questions, comments and submissions to mustachemania@hotmail.com

Also visit the Official Mustache Man website with all current and back issues. If you would like a link from Mustache Man's page, please contact him at mead1a@hotmail.com or mustachemania@hotmail.com or ICQ 5160216 thanks :) please include your handle and or name thanks :{)

Official home page:

http://www.oocities.org/CollegePark/Theater/1649/mustache.html

***NEW***

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thanks :{)

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