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Mustache Mania

April 16^th 1999

Fifthteenth Edition

*Insert Rocky theme song here*

That's right folks, its yet another edition of Mustache Mania. This is the official fifthteenth edition, this issue we will put to an end for this season name that song. Introduce a new character and aswell welcome back an old friend in the Adventures of Mustache Man. Also we have some summer predictions, a list to let you know if you are an 80's person and much much more!

Adevntures of Mustache Man...

Howdy, The other day I was relaxing outside, when it hit me. The One Legg'id Man is still on special assignment. I though it was about time to check up on his progress. This is what he said in his report:

Mustache Man:

I have disabled the enemy's stong hold. Rico Suave's gang has been almost completely disbanned. the few members left have been trying to repair and regain control of the land for weeks. I have been awaiting the arrivial of the lastest Mustache multi-function super rocket launcher. The female mail man said that it should arrive any time now. Once I get it, I will be able to totally destroy Rico's gang and weapon depots.

One Legg'id Man

Update: There is a new threat to all of Mustache-opia. :[B --->The Bucked Tooth Avenger. The Bucked Tooth Avenger has joined forced with the Rico Suave gang and has taken One Legg'id Man Hostage I am on my way to save him. He is hold my Jennifer Love Hewitt hostage! DAMN THEM< DAMN THEM ALL!!!!

Stay tuned for further updates in future issues of Mustache Mania

Name that song...

The results for this season are:

People with the most answers are:

Jessica, Shirley and Baz AKA One Legg'id Man.

All three people tied with three correct answers. Congrats on your efforts to all people who participated.

Also there were no correct responses to last week's Name that Song. The correct answer was Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse.

Stay tuned next season with some more Name that song or perhaps some other triva question.

You know you were an 80's kid if... forwarded by ShaddowStar

- You know the profound meaning of "Wax On Wax Off".
- You know that another name for a keyboard is a "Synthesizer".
- You can name at least half of the members of the BRAT Pack.
- You know who Tina Yothers is.
- You wanted to be a Goonie.
- You felt ashamed when Rob Lowe got into trouble for sex with minors and
videotaping it, because you liked him.
- You know who Max Headroom is.
- You ever wore Fluorescent, neon clothing.
- You could breakdance, or wish you could.
- You wanted to dress like the Hulk at Halloween
- You believed that "By the Power of Greyskull," you HAD the POWER.
- Partying "like it's 1999" seemed sooo far away.
- You thought that Transformers were more than meets the eye.
- You wanted to be on StarSearch.
- You remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off.
- You have worn a Banana Clip, or knew someone who did.
- You owned a doll with "Xavier Roberts" signed on its butt or knew someone
who did.
- You knew what Willis was "talkin' 'bout".
- You HAD to have your MTV.
- You hold a special place in your heart for "Back to the Future"
- You know where to go if you "wanna go where everybody knows your name."
- You thought Molly Ringwald was REALLY cool.
- You actually thought "Dirty Dancing" was a REALLY good movie.
- You have heard of "Garbage Pail Kids".
- Punks actually "shocked" people
- You knew "The Artist", when he was humbly called "Prince".
- You actually saw Ted Danson as the MacDaddy he played "Sam" to be.
- You remember when ATARI was a state of the art video game.
- You own any cassettes.
- You were led to believe that in the year 2000 we'd all be living on the
moon.
- You remember and/or owned any of the CareBear glass
collections from Pizza Hut, Or any other stupid collection of glass they came
out with.
- Poltergeist freaked you out.
- You carried your lunch to school in a Gremlins or an ET lunchbox.
- You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the ONLY female smurf.
- You wore biker shorts underneath a short skirt and felt stylish, or know
someone who did.
- You ever had a Swatch Watch, or three.
- You had a crush on one of the Corey's (Haim or Feldman).
- You had a crush on Bo Derek or Heather Locklear.
- You remember when Saturday Night Live was funny.
- You had Wonder Woman or Superman underoos.
- You know what a "Whammee" is.
- You had a crush on Jon BonJovi, or knew someone who did.
- You thought eating Reeses Pieces would attract your own Alien.
- Your name is Jennifer or Jason.
- You have ever called 867-5309.
- You had a poster of Rob Lowe, Kirk Cameron, or Michael J. Fox on your
wall.
- You held the top score on PacMan.
- You had MALL Hair.
- You owned a T-Shirt that said, "I shot J.R." or know someone who did.

IF you can identify with at least half of this list then you, my friend, are a child of the 80's.

Ben's Top Ten...

This week's top ten is, The Top Ten T-shirt slogans:

10) Got Skins yo?

9) Hooked on ebonics worked for me yo

8) I gave Birth to Marlyn Manson

7) 1 bottle of tequilla, 2 bottles of tequilla, 3 bottles of tequilla, floor

6) I'm with stupid

5) Who's yo brotha? Who's yo Brotha?!

4) Who the F*ck is Alice?

3) I'd rather be masturbating

2) Spank me, I'm Irish

1) It's my birthday, spank me

Summer Predictions...by Ben

1) Tequilla will come in Ben sized bottles.

2) The rockweb/Negz union will be a blast!

3) Phil Dohnaue will make a come back in day time talk shows.

4) The KKK will make yet another appearance on the Jerry Springer show.

5) Eric Cartman will find out he has a long lost brother.

6) The Olsen's twins will make yet another movie that will never make it to theatres.

7) Hulkamania will make a come back

8) NASA will bread flies in space to make a "super fly" race that will eventually be used as a war weapon, but will back fire and they will take over professional baseball.

9) TV's Webster and Arnold (Webster and Differn't Stokes) will make re-union specials.

Deep thoughts...By Gental Ben

Why is that Hamburgler has been caught on tape, shown on nation al TV but never arrested?

Nothing is better than sex,
Masterbation is better than nothing,
Therefore, Masterbation is better than sex!

Please stay tuned for future issues of Mustache Mania. I am not sure when the next issue will be sent out. I will be sure to see you soon when I get back online. So till then, take care and have fun.

Send all questions, comments and submissions to mustachemania@hotmail.com

Also visit the Official Mustache Man website with all current and back issues. If you would like a link from Mustache Man's page, please contact him at mead1a@hotmail.com or mustachemania@hotmail.com or ICQ 5160216 thanks :) please include your handle and or name thanks :)

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