| I dont even pretend to be appropriate in my reviews. They are stream of conciousness, and somehow, surprisingly liberal this summer. My arbitrary star rating system is this: 1star: So bad it's funny, and therefore in a different category. 2stars: Terrible, avoid. 3stars: Eh. 4stars: Good/Decent.. 5stars: Doesn't exist. |
| This summer's offerings: |
| Star Wars ep II: 3stars I would have liked for Hayden Christensen to decide whether he was going to use a proper British accent like Ewan McGregor, or a colloquial American one like Natalie Portman. Oh well - variety = spice of life? Also, John Williams should know by now that for his music to be taken seriously, the actors have to be able to live up to it. I had a good laugh at the musical effects every time we were shown Naboo. Yoda made up for it, though. |
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| Spiderman: 4stars I didn't want to see this, but someone dragged me out to it then I wound up enjoying it. Although some special effects looked fake, that didn't mess up the movie. I liked how the movie revelled in its corny, good guy/bad guy super hero-y-ness. Tobey Maguire managed to be the nice guy and the cool super hero at the same time - good for him - and Willem DaFoe was appropriately scary. But Kirsten Dunst's obviously-bleached-white teeth irritated me. Other than that it was good. |
| Reign of Fire: 1star What the hell was up with this movie? Who came up with this idea? "Hey guys.... let's make a film.. about humans fighting DRAGONS!" "That's been done." "oh... well, let's set it in the 21st century!" "uh.... Ok." Many problems arise from this thesis, including but not limited to : Can't the humans overpower animals with cool hi tech weapons in the 21st century? and Where do the dragons come from? and Why is this movie set in England? Also, I don't think there was much dialogue in this movie. In fact, a good 70% of the dialogue appeared in the preview. And why is there only one male dragon? How did the species stay alive in the first place? Well... I had fun criticizing the movie; that was its strongpoint - easily made fun of. |
Hey Arnold!: 2stars This was disappointing (this coming from a Hey Arnold fan), because it just wasn't funny enough. This proves that when you put a kids show into the realm of social improvement (ie saving the neighborhood), things go bad. That's right kids: If you are doing community service, you are not having a good time. There were some decent scenes - the MIB parody was appropriately timed, and even more amusing considering that, well, Arnold is white and Gerald is black (the cartoon never really takes advantage of that). The best scene had Helga finally confessing her love to Arnold. See? Themes from show = good. The script writers should have kept to a less serious plot. |
The Importance of Being Earnest: 4stars This didn't get great reviews - apparently standards go up when the movies are based on great pieces of literature (unless that literature is LOTR)- BUT I thought it was good. I read the play a long time ago and don't remember much, so I can't compare very well, although I can't think of any glaring differences. Colin Firth gets a point for making funny faces when his picture is taken at Lady Bracknell's. And the writers also get points for including the line about ringing the bell in a Wagnerian manner. |
Croc Hunter Collision Course: 4stars Best movie of the summer - or thereabouts. It didn't have pretensions of dark social commentary, it wasn't a bad sequel to some other movie, and the crocodile was definitely scarier than anything in Reign of Fire. It was simple and funny. Yes, they had to make up some convoluted plot in order for a collision to happen, but the cops were funny - the guys at least. Also, Terri is buff. And Steve is funny no matter what sort of program he's appearing in. |
Spy Kids 2: 4stars The first Spy Kids was good, and the second one was good too - why was the first good? It was clever and well acted and had this fantastical quality to it. This all applies to the second one. It must be mentioned that Juni got a great, unexpected line about "one necklace to rule them all." The theme park was amusing; its good to see someone pointing out how stupid some rides are. The amount of gizmos and gadgets didn't annoy me - some people had complained about that. The movie is aware that it is in danger of being bogged down by the hi-tech toys, so director/writer Rodriguez sticks our heroes on an island where their gagdets dont work. As for the other special effects: the movie is so fantastical that the idea of gorilla-spiders is not jarring and out of place. And Juni's hair is a very unusual color anyway: If you can deal with the color of Juni's hair, you can deal with gorilla-spiders, damn it. |
Lilo and Stitch: 3stars This is another bad Disney cartoon movie. I think the bad Disney cartoon movie has become a genre unto itself. (Lion King was the last good one, and people of my generation know it.) I mean, nobody spends that much money, with that many talented artists and voice over actors, and still makes such gigantic crap. This wasn't even one of the worst ones. However, it apparently didn't attempt to be funny. There were way too many adult themes in this movie for me. Genetic experimentation, the thanatos instinct, broken families - SOCIAL WORKERS? The whole "ohana means family" theme is worn out whether you use a Hawaiian word or not. And if we're being so multicultural, Disney, why is there one Hawaiian song in the movie then a bunch of Elvis? I'm sick of hearing about how nice and refreshing it is for a Disney character to like Elvis rather than evil pop culture music of the late 20th century. Oh yeah, Elvis - we're moving up in the world now! If Disney really wants to challenge its audiences they can make a story about a kid who likes classical music! Hah ha ha - no, classical music is reserved for nerds and/or 15 year old psychopaths. |
| Movie Review Thoughts |
| Four Feathers: 2 stars Someone not to be named dragged me and a roommate to see this movie. That was a mistake. There were too many closeups in this movie (-what, I'm surprised?) My roommate and I could not sympathize with the main character, and the movie liked to hit you over the head with simple ideas. : The Englishmen praying to god for help civilizing the savages. ! Did that really need to be shown - did he really have to be kneeling? All this after the introductory paragraph told us that the Brits thought they were god's gift to mankind anyway. In addition to being overly obvious and didactic, the movie also had entirely too much melodrama. Rugby should not be played in slow motion. And of course, Heath Ledger should stick to teen movies for the time being. |
| Fall season kicks off with: |
| Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: 4stars So American audiences are smart enough to understand Chamber of Secrets, but not Philosopher's Stone... Ah well. This movie was good. "Good"? Yeah. A few little complaints: Some of the dramatic scenes are getting old - like the big sweeping aerial shots of Hogwarts accompanied by John Williams music. He must have written all of 8 new bars of music for the second film. Like LOTR the pacing seemed a little off. It snowed early at Hogwarts this year and there were apparently NO POTIONS classes either. (It's only so Harry Potter without the kids groaning in Potions class, come on.) - all this in the name of buffing up the action sequences. I think Rowling's pacing is fine - not as slow as Tolkiens, eh? Also: Draco Mafoy's hair gets increasingly blonde and slicked back with each new movie - by the third one he's going to be bald. But other than that, the movie was fun. I still think they've captured the atmosphere and characterizations well, even if they have to cut details. I would have liked to see Lockhart's robes of mauve, but Branagh could be funny in any color. The effects were good as usual, and it was scarier than the first. It has been verified: Lucius Malfoy does NOT start to curse Harry when he frees Dobby, although he does pull out his wand.. But in the movie, he definitely starts to say what sounds suspiciously like the Death Curse. Well, fourstars anyway. It's a lot better than the rest of the offerings this fall. |