Character Bios:
Shadow Dragon (SD for short):
Age: 17
Sex: Absolutely!
(the authors mom walks in and hits him in the head)
Ow! What the hell was that for!
Stop being perverted
Ok fine
Sex: Male
Powers: Can go Super Sayajin 2 (Although doesn't work in Eva universe for some
reason) Can turn into a black were-wolf (Note: Eyes will glow white when
transforming to this form)when provoked can turn into a thirty foot black dragon
(Note: In the Eva universe he instead turns into an Eva sized dragon, also he
looks like Liu Kang in the second Mortal Combat movie) breaths fire and can fly,
(Note: Symptoms for this transformation are red eyes, twitching, loud swearing,
similar to turrets and will swear for no apparent reason, will not answer when
addressed, it is suggested that when this transformation is taking place you run
as far away as possible
Description: True appearance is un-known, he wears black armor similar to Zero's
armor from the MegaMan X series, all that is known about him is that he has long
blond hair and green eyes
Likes: Anything Kawaii, Chibis, cat-girls, a good fight, anything Eva related
Dislikes: Woman in pain, innocents being threatened (The JSSDF will pay!),
threatening and\or insulting any one of his goddesses (Auska, Rei, Hikari,
Belldandy, and Dita from Vandred)
Note: SD is an SI
Lauren
Age: 18
Sex: Female
Powers: Can perform the Inu-yasha 'Sit' on SD, the rest of her powers are un-
known
Description: Shoulder length brown hair that curls up at the bottom similar to
Selphy from FF 8, brown eyes that match her hair
Likes: Hitting SD, Dogs, animals in general, hitting SD, hanging out with the
guys, and hitting SD
Dislikes: Perverts, hentais, and SD's "womanizing"
Note: Lauren is also an SI and is friends with the author
Sagara Souske (everybody calls him Souske)
Age: 15
Sex: Male
Powers: Can turn the most heroic act into a complete disaster usually ending
with a severe beating by Chidori
Likes: Guns, big mecha, piloting mecha, Chidori but wont say anything
Dislike: Pretty much everything non-military related
Anime: Full Metal Panic
Tifa Lockhart
Age: 21
Sex: Female
Powers: Strong martial artist
Likes: Cloud, fighting, a good drink
Dislikes: Shinra, Sephiroth
Game: Final Fantasy 7
Vash the Stampede
Age: Un-known
Sex: Male
Powers: Expert shot, arm cannon, can get out of the worst situations with ease
Likes: Peace, a good drink, pretty woman
Dislikes: Other people's pain, killing, violence
Anime: Trigunn
Auska Langley Sohryu
Age: 14
Sex: Female
Powers: Can pilot Evangelion Unit-02
Likes: Shopping, piloting Eva, teasing Shinji
Dislikes: Her past, Shinji's constant apologies
Anime: Evangelion
Whew! Sorry that was so long but I figured it was needed since SD and Lauren are
SIs, now on with the show!
(the camera turns on and we find SD sitting in what looks to be a jail cell with
Souske sitting next to him)
...YAAAAAWN! Man that was a good dream, me, Auska, Rei, and a lot of whipped
cream and cherries
HENTAI!
(a small metal tin comes flying through the air)
::CLANG::
Ow! Hey what the? Oh...hi Auska
(Auska and Rei are sitting in a cell directly across from him, on closer
inspection Shinji and Touji are in the cell next to them and Tifa and Lauren are
in the cell next to Auska and Rei's)
Why would pilot Sohryu and myself with whipped cream and cherries be fun?
…Are you serious?
Yes
…Umm well you see…oh never mind, once we watch a lemon you'll know
I see
By the way, what the hell are we doing here?
I don't know, father threw us in here after the movie
(SD pokes at the bars a few times causing and electric current to spark)
Reinforced titanium bars, electrified, your dad doesn't hold anything back
does he?
That is correct
(SD does a Homer shriek then jumps into Souske's arms at the icy voice)
...I didn't know you cared
::THUD::
Your services are required again
Wait hold on a sec...you drag us down here and force us to watch a movie,
after which you sedate us and throw us in a cell and now you require our
*services* again?
That is correct
...ok
(everyone else facefaults)
You will be allowed to pick your team this time, you have five minutes
Hmmmm lets see, Lauren, Shinji, Auska, Souske
(said people are released from their cells and are escorted to the theater)
SEATING ARRANGMENT Shinji, Auska, SD, Souske, Lauren
The Games People Play - Chapter 2
Truth or dare is fun
Not you too
by: Zentrode > zentrodie@secondimpact.com
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Standard Disclaimer.
Bitch, bitch, bitch,
(SD holds up a sign with an arrow pointing to Auska)
Whine, whine, whine,
(SD holds up another sign this time pointing to Lauren)
That's the way we cry about somebody else's work!
(Auska and Lauren grab the signs and beat SD with them)
(If you've seen "The Wizard of Oz" you know the song parody :))
I always expected to get flames on this work, and I have.
(trying to hide a flamethrower) Wasn't me I swear!
This time though the flame(s) are actually very pathetic attempts at best.
Hey!
I stand by my pre-readers declarations that the grammar is set. I will not stop
writing this time! As for the humor content, if you're reading this you must
have found something funny; the attempt this time isn't a bundle of jokes and
funny situations, but a more subtle humor.
Enough ranting on my part, gomen. I still have yet to steal the rights to Eva
(and I doubt I will) so don't sue me Gianax, please?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------
The Games People Play
Chapter 2- Set-up
Shinji took his seat on the train and opened up his laptop again. 'I wonder if
Misato-san knows what Akagi-san did with her likeness.'
She's still alive isn't she?
Something tells me that she wont be for long
After a few moments, the PC re-booted again and Shinji found himself actually
staring into Misato's...or rather Minato's face.
Kawaii ^-^
Oh get over it already!
Jealous are we?
(Auska's cheeks flash red for a split second before she returns to fuming)
"Why did you shut me off Shin-chan?"
Yeah why did you shut her down!
Well I er...you see um...
Wait...is the laptop rising?
Dude you really gotta control hormones
the virtual idol asked with a hint of annoyance.
"You startled me...I never expected you to be so..." he trailed off while
looking at the screen.
Kawaii?
Annoying?
Perky?
Um...Misatoy?
(everyone else just stares at him strangely)
"Beautiful, charming, irresistible?" Minato asked while creating a mirror to see
herself with.
All of the above!
Conceited?
Energetic?
Bouncy?
"Alive,"
(all facefault)
he replied to the no-longer paying attention AI interface.
It's sad when you can't get your own computer to pay attention to you
So I'm not that noticeable, so what?!
The only time people know you're there is when your in Eva smashing things
"..."
Yeah, that's what I thought
Several fellow travelers began staring at the freak boy that is actually talking
to his computer, a fewer number began crowding around him.
Come one come all! See the amazing freak boy! Watch him talk to his
computer and drown himself in depression!
Oooooooohhhhhhh, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!
(Shinji blushes furiously and sinks into his seat)
"WHOW! That thing has a real AI unit in it!" on man exclaimed.
Wow really an AI that is so cool man I wish I had one then I'd...
SD you do realize that you not only have Chi but you have an entire
space battle station with built in AI right?
...yeah...but I don't have Minato
(everyone sweatdrops)
"Take a look at that avatar it has...its HOT!" another more desperate man
moaned.
Hey let go of me! I've got to see chibi Misato!
Touji?!
(the door to the theater (which happens to be made of steel) breaks down and
Touji charges in)
(drooling) Oooooohhhhhh, Miiinnnaaatttooo...
Should we move him?
Nah, he's not hurting anyone
Except Shinji you mean
(SD looks over at Touji who is strangling Shinji demanding that he hand over the
laptop)
'Oh no, I don't need more attention,' Shinji thought as the group of onlookers
began to grow and stare at the virtual Misato on his screen. "Minato I'm going
to power you down, ok?"
(sexy tone) You can power me down but you'll never turn me off
COING!
(SD's entire body goes stiff for a moment before melting in his seat)
::AUTHORS NOTES: If you didn't get the COING bit watch some old Bugs Bunny
cartoons and you'll see it eventually::
Using her optic lens to scope out the situation, "Oh you jealous of all the
attention I'm getting, and I was about to change my skin too," she cooed.
Just give me the damn laptop Shinji you're not gonna use it anyways!
But.I.can't.Auska.dropped.it.in.a.pool!
(in tears) No! devil woman ruins my life yet again!
(Auska simply smirks)
'She's to much like the real thing for my taste,' his hand pushing the power
switch.
Nah she's not the real thing till she starts chugging cyber beer
"100,000yen for the laptop!" was the opening bid.
"150,000yen!"
"It's not for sale, sorry" he said while cringing at the push of male would be
buyers.
I don't like the look in that ones eyes
Which one?
The one wearing the pink shirt with the rainbow on it
(Shinji turns green)
The fact he didn't want to sell the laptop was lost on the crowd, (isn't it
always?) and the bid continued to rise until his stop. He got off to the cries
of about 1,000,000,yen (about $10,000). 'Misato-san would kill me if she
learned I sold her to a group of guys, who knows what they'd...do...with it.'
Well a lot of them would learn to type one handed pretty quick
(think about it for a moment) Eeeeeeewwwwwww
Shinji began the short walk back to his apartment.
------------
Meanwhile.
Hikari finally caught up to Asuka. Asuka, who finally caught the wet-boy, stood
over his cowering form gloating. "Finally got my answer."
Shinji _is_ gay!
I am not!
Do we have to go over the evidence again?
"..."
Good boy
"Asuka," Hikari said between her panting, " I...could have...told you that
too...if you had waited."
"Sorry, but I wasn't going to let him escape, it was a matter of pride."
Yeah way to boost ones ego by chasing down a kid who wet his pants
Hey back off jumbo jugs!
You're just jealous ant bites!
(Auska and Lauren collide and a barrier of smoke arises, several noises can be
herd including scratching, hissing, and the occasional cuss)
Hey guys shouldn't we do something?
We are!
5000 yen on Auska!
Same on Lauren!
.........(too busy sweatdropping to place a bet)
'Everything is to you, isn't it,' flashed through Hikari's mind at her friends
boast. "Now that we know what he got; what does it mean?"
"I don't know but I intend to find out. What if he's...you know into that type
of thing?" Asuka asked her still wheezing friend.
"Not that there is anything wrong with that, if he is."
Yes there is
"You wouldn't be able to date if that's what you're asking."
"Me date him! That's a joke right?" Asuka gushed while her face changed to match
her hair.
Hah! Me date spineless wimp boy! Ooof!
(while Auska was in denial Lauren managed to put her in a headlock)
Ow ow ok ok I'm sorry I called you jumbo jugs now let go!
Ha! I win again!
Ok hand it over jock
Yeah yeah take it
"Where would he be now? We could just ask him."
Hey Shinji, you gay?
...No
That didn't sound too convincing
"That baka's probably back at the apartment now." She replied while she had
already started to head back home.
"Why don't we..." Hikari was cut short as she noticed Asuka had, well Asuka
tripped over herself in her hurried state. 'Yeah you don't want to date him.'
(head tilted) Red?
(blushing) HENTAI!
::WHAM::
(in much pain) Ow, but worth it!
------------
At said apartment. "Misato-san I'm home. Hello?" getting no reply Shinji
simple headed to the kitchen.
Goin for the Yebisu already huh
No! I don't drink
Often
Wha? Auska you weren't supposed to say anything!
Oh sorry
Misato was sprawled out on the table with a large and empty sake still firmly in
her hand.
How the hell is the can staying?
Misato super glued it to her hand so it wouldn't spill if she passed
out
'It's a typical weekend. There goes asking her about Minato." He eased Misato
into a more…well less compromising position on the table and booted up Minato
again.
I'm not sure how that's any less compromising, SD?
Well before we had a perfect shot of her cleavage but now we know she wears
blue lace panties, hard to say but judging from their reaction I'd say this one
is more compromising
(he points to Touji and Shinji, Shinji is pale do to blood loss and Touji is
also pale but drooling gallons as well)
"I'm getting upset with you young man!" the very pissed off and very loud voice
of Minato screeched. "Why do you keep shutting me off?!"
(as Minato) Time for your punishment, give me twenty pelvic thrusts!
Sir yes sir!
Not MY pelvis!
"Shssh! Misato-san is sleeping," he begged.
"I will, if you hook me up to your phone line," the virtual interface smirked.
'Now I'm being manipulated by my own computer...maybe I should grow a spine,'
Behold, the worlds ultimate bitch!
(celebration music plays over the loudspeakers while Shinji sinks so low into
his chair he seems to disappear)
he berated himself while plugging the phone line into the modem jack. He
dismissed the rather pleasure filled sigh Minato let out when he did plug her
in, " Why do you want the phone line?"
Oooooohhhhh, cyber-sex
Pervert
Still a bit scrambled from the 'plug-in' Minato spoke in hushed tones "Need...to
register on-line, Akagi protocol, you are quite a man Shinji-kun."
(blood flies from the chair like when the third angel pierced unit-01's
braincase as Shinji gets a nosebleed)
'The virtual Misato is just as perverted as the real one, that's one good copy.'
He replied to the blushing AI,
Hey Shinji she's stealing your job man
(muffled) Shut up
"Didn't I do the set-up already?"
"You don't understand computers at all, do you?
Nor anything else for that matter
Why do you guys always pick on me?
I have to transmit that info to Ritsuko."
Several moments pass and the data transmission bar appeared and disappeared but
the dial up connection remained. Noticing this the boy quipped, "Something
wrong?"
His answer was..."YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! The Yebisu
website!!" Minato bellowed as she jacked into the Yebisu data stream.
Thatta girl!
She is a real woman!
::WHAM:: ::WHAM::
Real woman huh?
Ow
"She's...getting drunk of digital beer...how will this help me?"
Who want to bet she tries to find a digital Kaji next?
As if the break of copyright wasn't bad enough, the Yebisu chug holler woke the
major. "Who's the dead man that woke me from my dream! And who do I get to sue
for copyright infringement."
Ah, the sound of a goddess
More like the sounds of a cow
"M-M-Misato-san! I can explain...the...the computer Ritsuko-san gave me ha..had
your..." he stammered as the ever approaching Major let out a low growl.
"Let me see that thing!" she replied as she all but tossed Shinji out of her
path. She then heard yet another of her patented screams coming from laptop.
'What did that psycho-hose-beast do?'
Seeing her 'mother' figure sobered Minato up a tad, "Hello Major Katsuragi," she
said to buy time to disconnect herself from the Yebisu data stream.
"I see," was all Misato said as she ran from the room.
"This isn't going to be good," Shinji spoke after seeing the enraged look on his
guardians face.
When is anything in your life ever good?
"Well shall we get started on what you have planned for me Shinji-sama?" Minato
asked oblivious to the fact that she...or rather it was the cause of the Major's
rage.
Sama?...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(blushing) What's so funny?
"Yeah...sure," that being said, he picked up Minato and started for his room and
the game that was beginning to be too much hassle.
All that work just for a hentai game, you know you could save yourself the
trouble by just going to a site ya know
Really? What web sites?
NO BAKA HENTAI!
::WHAM::
He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Misato emerge from her room gun in
hand. "THAT BITCH, SHE SAID IT WAS A JOKE. I WILL SO KILL HER!" She popped a
fresh clip into her sidearm and left the bewildered Shinji in her wake.
I don't think even a full lockdown of NERV could keep her out right now
"Should have expected that," both witnesses said in retaliation to the now dust
trail that once was Misato.
I'm surprised she didn't call in an N2 air strike
After the initial shock wore off Shinji remembered what he had hidden in his
room and he smiled, 'I'm home alone.' With that thought he fled to his room,
pulled out the CD's and set the first in the tray.
"Playing games are we," Minato spoke for the first time since the Major's exit.
"Yeah, you can't tell anybody," he commanded while he navigated the set-up
screen and initiated installation.
Now Minato is a computer so 'she' does know what is going on inside her, for the
most point, so after the install screen booted up she couldn't remain quiet.
"Isn't that cute of you Shin-chan, but don't let this become a habit. Not
healthy for young boys like you to...play such games."
" It's not like 'that,' really it isn't,"
Sure it isn't Shin man
Really it isn't!
Then why are you hiding it from everyone huh?
Um well you see...uh that is...well I...crap
he said distantly as his mind was focused on his task until...
"ERROR...ERROR, failure to install" popped up on the screen.
Looks like you'll have to wait to play 'Auska's wet n wild adventures'
What! You...you...HENTAI!!!
(the screen pans out to a lovely view of the geo front while the sounds of an
unearthly beating can be herd from within, when the camera returns all we see is
a puddle of what used to be called Shinji Ikari)
That...should teach you...some manners...hentai
"Minato, stop playing around!" Shinji said with irritation clearly etched on his
face.
That's looks like a claw mark
(Auska, who was sitting in her chair checking her claws, retracts them as SD
looks over)
(nervous) What do you want baka!
Minato's face appeared on the screen blushing, "It's...not my fault I don't know
what's wrong."
Well she was connected to the Yebisu website, I'm surprised she can talk
"How is that possible, you're the computers AI!?!"
"About that...you see I don't really know much about computers."
Seems Ritsuko did too good a job
"Ritsuko chose a very bad model."
"I'll try again ok?" a few minutes later the blue screen of death appeared.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! You guys still have that?!
(the others just nod solemnly)
'Great, I know more about computers than my AI support,' he shut down the
frazzled AI. He then started to think of somebody that 'could' help him;
anybody, then a bird smacked his window signifying his mental breakthrough.
"Kensuke."
Ah-Ha!
(SD jumps up from his seat, a bolder attached to a rope swings down and connects
with SD sending him flying into the screen, an electrical discharge then sends
him flying from the screen to the back of the theater where he lands with a
heavy crash)
(sweatdrop) So...mental breakthrough?
(an image of Washu appears on the screen)
No I just wanted to test my new forcefield
(from back of the theater) I give it an 8.5 for distance! ::THUMP:: and a
9.0 thump factor
Thank you, enjoy the rest of the show!
'How could I be so dense?!'
(singing) Let me count the ways!
he stopped and decided not to go down that avenue of thought.
Only smart thing you've done all day
"Now go get Kensuke to help me." With plan in mind Shinji wrote a short note
about where he was going and headed off to the Aida residence.
(bump and grind starts playing over the loudspeakers)
SD!!!
It wasn't me! Honest!
(meanwhile in a hidden control room Gendo Ikari sat with his hands covering his
mouth in the Gendo Ikari position with a small smile spread across his lips)
In typical fashion, five minutes after the third child left the apartment the
second child and friend arrived. "Shinji, get out here and explain yourself!"
(returning to his seat) This is like a bad soap opera
You watch soap operas?
Well I...you see there was this one time...ok ok I watched Days of our
Lives once because some guy shot up a wedding with an Uzi alright!
That's still not an excuse
So then what was the entire first season of 'The Care Bears' doing at
your house?
What! You saw...that...aw crap
"Don't you think you're taking this a bit to far?" Hikari squeaked.
(as Hikari) You promised that we wouldn't use the double until tomorrow
(Shinji and Touji get massive nosebleeds and Auska turns red, weather from
embarrassment or anger is up to you)
"No I need to know what that boy's up to!" came the German's reply. Believing
her cause just, that being domination of the third child's attention, Asuka set
into search and destroy mode. After checking his room, and remodeling it during
the search, she checked Misato's room.
Oh my god Auska's turned into a terminator!
(Auska turns to SD, one of her eyes is red)
(innocently) What are you guys talking about?
All Hikari heard was a loud THUMP and a string of German swears from her vantage
point in the kitchen. 'Whose fault will it be this time?'
1000 yen on Shinji!
9000 on me!
10,000 on the beer!
"DAMN MISATO'S EMPTY COLLECTION!"
Pay up!
Damnit! And I thought for sure that she...wait a sec, you've seen this
before haven't you?
Maybe
You cheater!
The class-rep nearly nodded at the accusation and spotted the hastily written
note on the table, which she promptly read:
{Misato-san
Went to see Kensuke. Having trouble with you-know-what. Be back as
soon as it's taken care of.
Shinji
p.s. I'll bring some take out home for supper.}
"Asuka, Shinji's not here. He went to Kensuke's." Hikari informed the now
emerging redhead.
"What else does it say, a reason why?" Asuka asked while nursing her bruised
behind.
Need a hand?
Do it and you'll be joining the lance of longenus
"Something about you-know-what and take out for supper, think he'll bring back
enough for me?"
'You've become such a moocher lately,' scowled the 2nd but she replied, "he
always does, and I bet it's more than just that Bishonen Yatta cd."
"You think?"
"Maybe, not that there is anything wrong with that,
Yes there is!
you know where Kensuke lives?" Asuka's goal set.
"Yes, but can't we go shopping instead? I don't really want to chase Shinji-kun
all over the city."
Auska I think you're about to prove yourself wrong
No fic Auska don't do it!
"Fine, tell me where he lives and you can stay here or whatever you want, I want
answers!" her fist raised in a battle pose, 'and save him from changing his
sexual preference, not that anything is wrong with those who do.'
Yes there is!
Especially when a girl likes a guy who does swing that way
Huh what are you talking about?
Nothing!
Hikari drew a small map and told her friend how to reach the military otaku's
home and like a bolt of red lighting she was off. She rat at speeds that would
have made the Flash green with envy.
Why run when you can rat!
------------
At the Geofront security sensors were blaring and nameless techies were in a
panic.
You guys have a lot of nameless techs don't you?
Nameless techs make good decoys
(eyes momentarily flash red) Grrrrrrrrrrrrr...
The security system was loudly declaring that an intruder had entered the
compound and was incapacitating any guard that got in its way. Lieutenant Maya
Ibuki was at the control panel issuing the orders.
The shy woman having a hard time with her new job, "Section 2 advance to
corridor T-3...no S-2 and await engagement."
Makoto wanting to return of silence, and his manga reading, that Maya was
interrupting asked, "Maya, shouldn't you tell Akagi to escape?" His hope was
that would shut her up but...
"Why, she's with Ayanami in ...her..SEMPAI!!"
(eyes red) Oh no, Ritsuko better not even think about it!
Oh crap!
Uh oh...wait why am I scared...oh crap! He's gonna...he's gonna what?!
Um Lauren, why does SD have red eyes?
You'll probably find out soon enough and my advise when he does, run,
run as fast as you can and hide
But it was to late the blip that indicated the intruder had already bypassed.
'Ritsuko, death, kill, beer, dismemberment, Yebisu,' all floated inside the now
temporarily insane Major's mind as she tried to open the door to the mad
scientists lab.
(over loudspeaker) Hey I resent that!
You shut up you sicko!
She was about to shoot the lock off when she heard a very soft almost completely
monotone voice, and guess whose voice that was.
"Doctor, that will be painful." Voice one said.
(SD's eyes flash again turning blood red and glowing)
To which the doctor replied, "Not like you haven't done this type of thing
before."
(SD's eyes flash again)
"That is irrelevant, it will still hurt. It is bare skin."
(SD's head kinks to the side in a spastic jerk)
"Be thankful we don't have an audience today." The firmer voice said.
(SD is now shaking as his eyes glow)
"Will you take that out of me now?"
Can't...take...any...more...Akagi...will...DIE!
'Ritsuko is assaulting Ayanami? Kami-Sama she's lost her mind!' the statement
triggering the more...ah-em...hentai regions of Misato's brain. A kick to the
door and Misato burst in with sidearm level. " Stop right...now...Rits..."
The scene was not what Misato expected. Instead of a nude Ayanami she found a
clothed one, the doctor didn't have some torture device; she had a needle. But
did that calm her down? If you think so what are you doing reading this. After
her initial shock wore off she remembered why she was here.
(SD stops shaking and his eyes return to their normal green, the others slowly
emerge from their hiding spots behind their chairs)
"..."
Hey uh...SD?...you all right now?
...oh, I guess I sorta over-reacted a bit didn't I?
(facefaults all around)
"Major Katsuragi, why have you broken the door and intruded upon my physical
examination?" Rei asked in that monotone voice we all know so well.
(as Rei) We were just about to get to the good parts
(SD looks at Lauren with fire in his eyes)
Um...nevermind
"I...need to talk to our good friend Ritsuko here so could you leave?" the venom
rising in her throat.
Naw I'm pretty sure that's the Yebisu from last night
"Misato, put the gun down," over her cell phone " Stand down security alert."
Rei sensing her job was done here gathered...no wait she never has anything with
her...herself and left as quietly as she could, that being under .5 decibels.
Damn, Rei would make the perfect assassin...except she forgets I have a
great sense of smell
(not six inches above SD's head hangs Rei with razorwire)
So you knew?
You smell like lavender
(Rei blushes slightly as she drops to the ground taking Souske's seat)
Hey where did Souske go?
He is...'hanging around' I believe is the appropriate term
(meanwhile in another room Souske is hanging upside down from ceiling hogtied
and gagged)
"Now why are you here and so...vocal?" Ritsuko asked while sitting down to
examine the new test data she just collected, 'this will help phase 2 so well!'
"You put MY mind into one of your damn computers!"
"I told you I was going to, and it's not like I have a lot of choices here."
"Give me one reason I shouldn't shoot you right here for what you did! What if
some pervert gets a hold of it"
What do you mean if? It's already in the hands of the biggest pervert of
them all!
(she looks over at SD who is ogling over Rei)
Ok...second biggest hentai of them all
"One, if you kill me you'll be sent to a maximum security prison and from what I
hear they like 'fresh meat.'
(all wince, yes even Rei although nobody noticed)
Secondly, I only had three possible brain wave patterns to choose from yours,
the commanders, and Ayanami's." she said rather matter-o-factly.
I would have picked Rei's
You would you pervert!
"Why not use one of the other two!"
"I wanted to make a GOOD AI, if I used the commanders it would do whatever it
wanted despite what you told it to do, and Ayanami...it wouldn't question the
owner at all, just hai, hai, hai all the time. You are at least in charge of
NERV tactical and should be of some, if only minor, help."
Apparently she didn't pick so well
Like I said I would have picked Ayanami's, at least she would make up lack
of help with good looks
Thank you
(Rei blushes at the compliment but it would have taken the most advanced
infrared sensor to detect it)
The time bomb that was Misato was now defused. The simple and very minor
compliment worked. "You think I'm better than the commander?"
If she used the commanders data it would have immediately worked out
plans to take over the world and use everyone who ever came in contact with it
Well there's one good thing about that
What could possibly be good about that?!
Well you wouldn't have to worry about hackers
Smiling to herself, and at her friends naiveté "Sure Misato, since you're here I
want to show you some pictures and ask your opinion." The major sat down and
was shown Ritsuko's secret project and helped out with what she could.
Man, Misato is denser than Shinji in this fic
"We should get Shinji to help with this, I bet he'd love it."
"You think so?" Ritsuko asked dubiously.
"Trust me, if you saw the game he brought home today you'd understand," she
smiled her 'I'm going to tease Shinji into the ground' smile and continued
working.
Shin man it was good knowing you
I'll get the urn!
Why me?
------------
"Remember you have to make me a copy of that AI unit Shinji, you promised!"
Kensuke all but begged.
"If I can I will, thanks for helping me set the game up too," Shinji sang out
with joy 'It works it works!'
Yay, Rei's pleasure palace here I come!
HENTAI!
::WHAM::
(yes that's right Rei said hentai and hit Shinji with a mallet)
(Rei blushes furiously as she realizes what she did)
I am sorry pilot Ikari, I do not know what came over me
(SD nods his head knowingly)
That would be the hentai reflex, most woman have them hardwired into their
system
"You have odd taste in games. Want one of mine?" he said offering out another
cd-rom.
Bets anyone?
No!
"What is it?"
"You'll like it," he said while tossing Shinji the game.
"Viper collection*, some sort of action game?" the gullible pilot asked. (see
notes)
Well if you think about it, it _is_ an action game...so to speak
Cool is it a big MECH fighting game?
Hey Shinji, did you know that gullible isn't in the dictionary?
Really?
Yeah really, go look for yourself
Ok!
I...don't believe it...he actually fell for that?
"Something like that, but I need to go Shinji. I've started a guerilla warfare
club and we have a meeting in the woods outside the city."
Right, in the "woods"
Freak
'Explains the camouflage he's wearing,' sweat dropping " you still do that stuff
huh?"
(Shinji returns to his seat mumbling)
So Shinji, find gullible?
Shut up!
(the others start laughing their asses off)
Putting on his 'war paint' and pulling out his new paint gun, "I will not lose,
I will train my troops!"
(as Kensuke) I will train them in the art of homo-fu!
Why don't I doubt that for a second
Hey you guys leave Kensuke's private life outa...this...ah crap not
again!
(the others stare at Touji REALLY strangely)
"Yeah...you do that" Shinji spoke while inching himself away from the freak in
the camo that was hunched over looking at the people on the street.
Oh my god look at that he's killing people left and right, not even babies
are safe from him...there goes _another_ police chopper and three more hookers!
Hey where the hell did you get a PS2 and GTA: Vice City?
Ummmm...
Never mind I really don't want to know now
"They're all against me Shinji, you see it don't you! That's why they don't make
me a pilot!"
No they don't make you a pilot because you'd get slaughtered in the
first minute
Either that or he'd sell NERV secrets on the black market
'No, it's because you're losing your mind.' Closing his laptop, "Well better go
train your men; before they attack you, bye."
Shinji took off like a bat out of hell, and the reason is two-fold. ReasoA
demand, locked his door.
------------
Back at the Aida residence.
"What do you mean he went out into the woods with a bunch of guys?" Asuka asked
with a tinge of wonder in her voice.
That sounded really wrong
This entire fic has sounded wrong ever since they mentioned 'Bishonen
Yatta'
Mr. Aida, not having dealt with Asuka before, answered, "I told you all I know,
so stop bothering me, it's been 20 minutes."
That was his first mistake by answering the door
"I want more answers! Where in the woods, who was with him, was Shinji over?"
"Damn it girl, yes yes that boy Shinji was here right before my son left, will
you take the knife away from my cats neck now?"
Second mistake, you gave her something to threaten you with
Asuka released her hold of the Aida pet cat, "Thank you."
The thankful man watched as the red haired girl left his home, ' I feel sorry
for that boy she's looking for...his girlfriend is very scary.'
What! Boyfriend\Girlfriend! You've got to be kidding?!
It seems that sync training still works
-----------
End chapter 2
------------
Time for questions
And answers!
Why did Mr. Aida think Asuka was Shinji's girlfriend?
Cause he's blind just like his son
What will happen when Asuka finds Kensuke? Shinji?
Someone will need to call the morgue
What game is he playing?
Either 'Auska's wet n wild adventures' or 'Rei's pleasure palace'
What will happen when he plays the new game?
(as Bevis) Boing!
What IS Ritsuko's problem?
Too much coffee and a cat fetish
What is she doing now?
Do we really want to know?
Why is Misato so eager to help her now?
Because it's a chance to tease Shinji