I received the above Bonsai Potato growing kit from my son for Christmas and I thought it would be really cool to not only attempt to gain my own Zen by following the kit instructions, but also to log my Zen'ness for all to see. Perhaps my Potato Bonsai Zen will rub off onto large portions of the populace and make the world a nicer place to live. Tater Love as it were. All underlined links to photographs should open in a new window when clicked upon, if not, just click "back" on your browser to get back to this page.

First, a little Zen background: ~ Zen and the Art of Bonsai ~ "In its most simplified form, Zen is a journey to the mind through spiritual enlightenment and physical meditation. Throughout history Bonsai cultivation has provided people with a tremendous source of tranquility and inner harmony. Traditional Bonsai requires acute attention to detail, patience and discipline. These qualities are perfect for Zen meditation, because they remove the artist from the body by introducing a larger time-scale for the mind to function in." ~ Zen and the Art of The Bonsai Potato ~ "In the modern world, things are different. There just isn't enough time for discipline and patience. The art of The Bonsai Potato can change all of that. You can achieve inner peace in less then 10 minutes a week, guaranteed (Disclaimer: not to be construed as a warrantee or guarantee of any kind). You will discover that nothing is more simple then cultivating a Bonsai Potato. This is a living plant that doesn't need soil, fertilization, water, or even sunlight! If you choose your Bonsai Potato wisely it will, literally, grow itself. You will still benefit from ancient Zen techniques, but in a more modern timesaving context. This enables you to dedicate as little time as possible to self enlightenment, and more time to things that really matter - like television." Televison? The Internet? Oh this is right up my dang alley. My Zen is gettin itchy. Let's begin:

Friday December 31, 2004: I opened my Bonsai Potato kit and sure as shootin, just as the box indicated there is everything inside that I need to start my Bonsai Potato. There is an instruction book, pruning scissors, tweezers (I can only guess) and a traditional display altar. It probably started out as a standard display altar but it turned traditional with the added graphics which I am sure must translate to "El Shrine De La Potato Bonsai®". And now to search out the perfect Zen like potato. The instruction book likens finding the perfect tater to "walking over hot coals with bare feet". I think that I will just look for mine on the floor in the washroom instead. So I grabs the Bag O' Zen, dumps a load of em onto the dining room table and begin my search for the Holy Grail of spuds. Hmmmm... This looks like maybe.... naw. Hey now, how about this sturdy looking... Nope.... Another no go po-ta-toe. But wait! Could it be?? AT LAST! YES! A ZENERIFFIC POTATER! Life is good. Well dang nabbit. I was going to make my Bonsai Potato's home on our brightly lit cheery kitchen window shelf but according to the instruction book my Bonsai Potato is only going to be happy in a dark, warm and humid area. Now there are not many dark, warm and humid areas in this house so I am thinkin thinkin thinkin..... and thinkin some more. Ouch. Hey! This just might work. The doors are closed about 99.99% of the time, so it's dark. Humid? Not too sure about that. Warm? Maybe. Let me do a little bit of the old closer inspection. This might be about as good as it gets. Welp, click here for Bonsai Potato Zen City and stay tuned for the next entry when hopefully the spud speedily sprouts special spuff ("spuff": I claim artistic license). Hiiiii-YAH!   Thursday January 06, 2005: I have to admit then when I first started this Bonsai Potato project, my faith was not quite 100%. I was not confidant in my Zen abilities. I was even less confidant that a potato would do anything at all in my less then Zen'ful life. I would never have been deserving of the title "Grasshopper" and rice paper would have torn beneath my bare feet. But I was wrong. I have offically struck Zen... and it is magnificent. Oh sure, there is some miscellaneous Zen that needs possible pruning (with love) in the near future (when I am feeling reposed enough to even attempt such a thing), and there is even a possible "Past Potato Life Bad Karma Boo-Boo" laceration type deal that has started to show (I will have to keep a watchful eye on it), but I believe I am now successfully Bonsai Potatoing. I am feeling good about this. I am learning that there are possibilties beyond my own life's expectations. My Zen is indeed handsome thus far. Hiiiii-YAH! Sunday February 13, 2005: I know it has been quite a while since my last update, but apparently Bonsai Potatoes are creatures that take their time. I suppose I would not want to be in a hurry to complete my lifecycle either as we only have so much time here on earth, but it is paying off for my Bonsai Buddy. Will you look at this! Fantastic!. Remember those little Zen Zappers that were growing last month? Well now is the time to prune those little Zen Drainers. I thought that it would be a little emotional for me as those small Rogue Karmas had been with Bonsai Potato and I since the beginning. But as I trimmed them, I actually felt stronger. I think it was a good thing. I know it will be for the best in the long run. For the very briefest of moments, right after I pruned the Rogue Karma Zen Zappers from my Bonsai Pal, I could swear he (or she) smiled at me, as if to say, "Arigato, Buddy San." At least I think it was a smile. It happened so fast. I am becoming proud of my Bonsai Potato. We have actually been through quite a bit together, in a passive sort of way. Here is one more final peek for this update of Bonsai Potato. How grand it is. Hiiiii-YAH! Monday March 14, 2005: Holy sacred cow!! Just when I thought that my Potato Zen would not go anywhere but up(which is not that bad I guess), I get widespread Zen! My Bonsai Buddy is SO fly! My little Bonsai Pal has really been workin it for me. I am so at peace now and I owe my Bonsai Potato a debt of gratitude. For starters, I think it is time to give my buddy some well deserved R&R, and that is just what I did. It is the least I could do for all this tranquility just handed to me. I can't believe that this is happening! Bonsai Potato is my friend. It has been a productive (is that a Zen allowed word? Productive?) month, and I am truly humbled (and impressed) by my oh so Glorious Bonsai Potato. Until next time... Hiiiii-YAH! Monday March 28th, 2005: Konnichi wa Visitor San. Mensooree, which means "Welcome, come in". I am updating my Bonsai Potato website today because my little Zen Filled Friend, my Bonsai Buddy, my Potato Pal may not be with us for much longer. He has shown no physical growth for some time now (spiritual growth never ends, or at least that is what the instruction manual says) and he may be at the end of his long and spiritual journey (in this world). I am getting teary eyed. I truly hope that I am wrong as I am not quite ready to part ways with the pocket sized Yoda® of my life. However, if it must be that way, it must be that way. Que sera sera san. So I present to you, and I humbly desire it not to be the last time, the one, the only (in my life), Honorable Bonsai Potato Stay Zenalicious until next time... Hiiiii-YAH!

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