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| "HEYYYY VIEWERS!! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO NOT BE ANNOYING LIKE ME??? THEN LISTEN TO EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE APPLIANCE, MIKE THE TV!!! I GOT A DEGREE IN ANNOYINGNESS, SO I CAN TELL YOU WHAT TO LOOK FOR, AT NO EXTRA COST AND NO PAYMENTS |
| UNTIL 2004!! I WILL NOW TURN THE CAMERA OVER TO MARS, WHO'S GRABBING AT THE MICROPHONE IMPATIENTLY AND GROWLING!!! Okay, here's what people need to know. To be accepted into the ZSB, you need to be a rather tolerable person. Mike is a bad example, chosen on purpose. There are plenty of others, such as Tony Danza and Richard Simmons, but you get the idea. The following are bad ways to get attention. |
| DON'T DO WHAT "DONNY DON'T" DOES |
| Admiral: I think the President's decision to bomb France was a little too harsh, even if French people are kinda unbearable. What do you think? DONNY DON'T: HI EVERYONE I'M DONNY I'M GONNA BE HERE FOR THE NEXT YEAR SO HUG ME HOW ABOUT THOSE MILWAUKEE BREWERS DOES ANYBODY LIKE TO DRINK MR. PIBB I DO NOW I'M HERE NOW LICK MY FEET THIS IS THE END OF MY POST I'M ENDING IT OKAY HERE I GO IT'S GOING TO END RIGHT NOW I MEAN RIGHT HERE Alissa: Oh great, this is just what we need. DONNY DON'T: ARE YOU ASKING ME OUT? Donny Don't makes 10 topics in 2 minutes that all have names like "neatosdkfhkhfau&&&#*". A post appears from Hand of Thrawn that says, "Who hates Donny Don't?" Donny counters with a post that says, "Who hates Hand of Thrawn?" Nobody posts. DONNY DON'T: I'M LEAVING NOW!!! YOU PEOPLE HAVE HURT ME SO MUCH I CAN'T BEAR IT ANY LONGER!!! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY YOU NEO-NAZI COMMIES!!!! THIS IS MY LAST POST!!!!! MacDaddy Mike: Donny Don't says he's a man, but he's a woman. DONNY DON'T: I AM NOT!!!!! OKAY, THIS IS MY LAST POST, FOR REAL THIS TIME! BYE." Cauchy: Well, I guess we've seen the last of Donny Don't. Sheesh, he was even more annoying than that "Goofus" person. It's a good thing his brother Gallant moded all his messages, but then again he moded all of OURS as well; talk about a goody-goody.... DONNY DON'T: WELL, I'M BACK BECAUSE I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE SEAMAN BOARD THAT GUY FAERY BEN IS TOO MEAN SO I'LL BE STAYING WITH YOU BUT I MIGHT POST THAT I'M LEAVING AGAIN SO DON'T HOLD ME TO IT Goofus: HEY EVERYONE, AHYUCK, I'M BACK!! I ate a bad mushroom because my mom told me not to and was comatose for 5 months but I'M BACK NOW!! |
| Let's get to another point....try to make yourself clear. For an example of what I mean, I'll reference the Baked Apple Users group, a team of Japanese programmers who made crummy games for Apple Computers back in the 1980's and stunk royal at translation. I had several of their games (and no, the one below isn't called "Zero Wing"). |
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| Although you have to hand it to the Baked Apple Group for their creativity (they managed to come up with an apocalyptic vision for 2001 that DIDN'T involve Osama bin Laden), it's very hard to understand what they say. |
| DON'T DOES WHAT "DONNY DON'T" DO |
| DONNY DON'T: yO GUYZZZZ!!!! Ze|D/\ 0\/\/[]\[]Z j00!! I EtE crEEmed COrN! /\/\AaMaZZZ paNTEEhoZ ez FUZZZZYYYYYYY!!!!!! | |Z d0\/\/[]\[] w|7 d/\ []-[]{}/\/\|#ZZZZZZ!!!!!! YFGYGFyreg8&TYtvb!!!!!! Tatl the Fairy: I wasted thirty seconds of my life reading this; the title for your post said "A man is dying, help me save him." You tricked me! DONNY DON'T: Are you asking me out? Buggiekid: I'LL GO OUT WITH j00!!! |
| The PCA (People's Choice Awards) happen once a month. Do not do this: |
| DONNY DON'T: HEREZ MY BALLLLLLOT!! FAVORIT PERSON: DONNY DON'T LEAST FAVORITE PERSON: EVERYONE FAVORITE COUNTRY: DONNY DON'T FAVORITE SHOE BRAND: DONNY DON'T AIR FAVORITE BUG: THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE DONNY DON'T MAILMAN YOU'VE SEEN IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOU MOST WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH: DONNY DON'T (ACCEPT IT) FAVORITE PLACE IN GREATER EUROPE: DONNY DON'T OUR NEXT PRESIDENT: DONNY DON'T 2 TIMES 9 EQUALS: DONNY DON'T Mars: It's illegal to vote for yourself in every category, and besides that, you're supposed to SEND them in! DONNY DON'T: PHOO ON THAT, I'LL OBVIOUSLY WIN Krosser: I vote "Krosser" for everything again. |
| Naturally, both votes were thrown out, since the maximum number of times you can vote for yourself in any given PCA is two. There are many other things you shouldn't do, in fact there is probably an infinite number of things that are dumb. So I'm going to spare my hands and stop the typing now. Good luck getting accepted into the ZSB; it's as strict as Harvard but hey, it doesn't cost you anything.... |
| Admiral Viscen VII: HI! I'M ADIMRAL! YOU ALL SUCK! I HATE YOU ALL! NOW GET ANGRY AT ME! Bender: This isn't Admiral, this is Donny Don't. I just bet it is. Admiral Viscen VII: HEY!! I AM TOO ADIMRAN AND I SAY THAT YOU ALL SUCK AND YOUR MOTHERS ARE FAT, SO START HATING MEEEE!!! Cribbs: This "smear campaign" isn't going to work, Donny, because we've all been treated like that by Admiral at least ONE time in our stay here. We're too used to it to get angry even if this WAS him. Admiral Viscen VII: I'M GONNA SEND A MILLION EMAILS TO CJAYC SAYING THAT HE SHOULD ERASE THIS ENTIRE BOARD, AND IF HE DOESN'T I'LL FLAME HIS GIRLFRIEND ON THAT ANNOUNCEMENTS BOARD!! HA HA, I'LL SHOW YOU ALL WHO'S BOSS!!! And Donny Don't was never seen again. |