| |||||
REVELLERS RUSHED! STRAW CRUSHED! |
SpringHeel Jack Bounces Bank! |
|
Bilskinir Blazes!
Sources report that on the night last, the House Bilskinir, long since
dark, suddenly blazed with light. Swirling streamers of sangyn and
nectarine coldfire were seen shooting and twirling around the House's
topmost minarets and the sound of oompa music could be heard as far away
as the Loma Linda neighborhood. "My cohort and I were doing a little Rite of Chuz on the beach," said a witness who did not wish to be named as her parents thought she was spending the night at her aunt's, "We had just finished burying Frater Astroposis Zeta alive when we heard this weird honking sound. I thought maybe we'd got the invocation wrong and invoked The Whale God Beelzibubba by accident when I saw a big huge light coming from the north. There was Bilskinir, glowing on the cliffs like the Orb of Chaos. It was really wild." The coldfire pyrotechnics lasted approximately fifteen minutes but the oompa musick continued all night long, prompting angry citizens to call on the watch. Militia members led by Captain Inigo Abenfarax de la Carcaza rode to Bilskinir's gates, but were forced to retreat when they were menaced by a particularly aggressive bass line. From 659 to 852, Bilskinir House was the seat of the powerful Hağraağa family. When the Butcher Brakespeare, the last Hağraağa, was executed in 853, Denizen Paimon Bilskinir closed the House and none has achieved entry since. In 856 a guides group led by Rangermaster Bardo Hernandez attempted to shelter in Bilskinir's gardens when the troop got lost in a freak sandstorm. Although no troopers were ever seen again, Rangermaster Hernandez's blood stained compass was dug up three months later on the beach below the House by a water spaniel named Bounce. Investigations by the militia proved futile. Reports that the magnificently blue Paimon had been seen in a South of the Slot yerberia buying galangal oil and four pounds of figs last year turned out to be unsubstantiated. Frater Astroposis Zeta is resting quietly in The Asar Therion Memorial Hospital recovering from asphyxiation suffered when his breathing straw was trod upon in the excitement. |
The Republic Banc and Trust of Califa  was the victim of the nefarious SpringHeel Jack's newest raid on the peace and tranquility of the glorious City of Califa. On Friday, 13th Sol, the night watchman at the bank saw suspicious movement at the back of the building. Courageously setting out to investigate, the watchman (Tobias Gregson, 62, of Tamapeo County) stealthily advanced toward the main vault. "I saw this huge man," Mr. Gregson said, from the hospital bed where he is resting. "He sprang. On me! He had big red boots!" Approximately 100,000 Divas are missing from the vault. Captain Inigo Abenfarax, Commander of the City Militia, has upped the bounty on the outlaw, whose name refers to his trademark sparkly red boots, to 10,000 Divas. "We will no longer tolerate such lawlessness within the City's borders," said the Captain, who last year was convicted in an Angeles court of bribery, mashing and running an illegal bunco game. |
|
INDEX:
Supplement, including a few words by Y. S. Wilce - |
Famous Author To Visit CalifaBy special invitation of the warlord Florian Abenfarax de la Carcaza, author Ysabeau S. Wilce (A Thin Line, Califa in Sunshine and Shadow, and the bestselling Pout) will be in town Calidad 1st to the 15th. Madama Wilce, recipient of the prestigious Alvin Knoblauch Award for Literary Deconstructionism and Social Babble, has declared that the Warlord's invitation was "absolutely thrilling" and "a chance to meet a legend in his own time". For your delectation, Alta Califa has devoted page 5 of this issue to this most loquacious author. Please join Alta Califa in extending a warm and hearty welcome to Madama Wilce! |
 |
 |