Well, let me tell you that I was once where you are. I have a totally homophobic father, who keeps repeating that homosexuality is disgusting, perverted, and immoral. But is it really? Is it that disgusting for a man and another man to have sex the same way a man might with his wife? Is it really disgusting for a woman and another woman to do in bed exactly what a man might do to his wife?
Being gay isn't part of who you are. It's part of what you are. Who decides their skin color? Who chooses their parents? Who decides where they are born? It's the same thing for homosexuality. Of course, some choose to be that way, or have other reasons to be gay or lesbian. But for most of us, it is how we were born. Tell me, who would choose to be something that is hated by society? Who wants to be something that would make them have to hide and pretend to be someone they aren't, just to be able to keep a job, a client, just to keep from getting beat up by their classmates?
The one thing you should not attempt, though, is to become straight. I know some people who have tried, they got married to someone of the opposite sex, had kids, and watched their marriage fall apart. Others have just tried dating heterosexually. They convinced themselves that they loved their partner when they didn't. After a while, they realized they really weren't attracted to the opposite sex. They then decided to stop acting like cowards and stopped hiding from the truth. Yes, being gay, lesbian, or bisexual can be very hard. But so can anything else. If you really want to live a happy life, you will. I believe that we all face the same amount of difficulties in our lives. It's just our ways of looking at them and dealing with them that totally change everything.
Some people chose to hide, others decide to be out. Some choose to be discreet about it, but will not lie if asked directly. Those who would rather stay in the closet do it because society isn't always very warm towards gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. You might lose some friends if you decide to tell them that you are gay. But if you do, then it means that those so-called friends aren't really friends. A friend should be a person who stands by you no matter what, someone who won't judge you and who will accept you for what you are. If you lose a friend because of your sexuality, yes it is tough. But if you don't give up and you keep being yourself around others, you will find that it is a lot easier for people to accpet you.
Other people hide because they don't want their parents to know. Some parents might disown their son or daughter. Since your parents are usually the ones who provide you food, a shelter and love, you don't necessarly want to lose them. For a lot of people, keeping their job might be an issue. It is almost certain that if an elementary school gay teacher was to be out, many parents would complain that they don't want a "faggot" or "child-rapist" teaching their kids. That is all because of stereotypes.
This "faggot" or "dyke" that you're talking about could be anybody. It could be your mom, your brother, your cousin, your best friend, your bus driver, your boss, your priest, the mayor of your town, it could be your own kid! If you use homosexuality as a put-down, you may be offending someone you love!
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