Title: Normal Day in Arcadia

Summary: Takes place during POV. Why? Because that’s where it ended up. Deal with it. No real plot to speak of. Stuff happens… and then… more stuff happens.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters… but I do have them chained up in my dungeon for my amusement.

A/N: This is a parody, people. Don’t take it seriously. I love the show, but I just had this idea floating around in my head. I mean well in poking fun at it. Anyone who watches on a regular basis should get the jokes. But be forewarned, there is so much sarcasm that it will leak out of your computer screen. Also its in script format because I was too lazy to write in a descriptive story format.

Joan, Adam, and Judith are walking down the hallway. Joan is complaining about her newest crisis.

Joan: Can you believe this? I don’t do video! (She gestures wildly with the camcorder she is holding) I mean, I don’t even know how to turn it on!

Adam looks at her with a puzzled look that is one day going to be permanently stuck on his face because he does it all the freaking time.

Adam: Then why are you doing it?

Joan: (sighs dramatically in frustration): How am I supposed to know? I just do what I’m told.

Adam and Judith of course don’t say anything about this because of the sudden and short-lived deafness that fell over them. And of course they don’t ask her where in the hell she got a camcorder. Because it is completely normal for a high school student to just randomly have a camcorder when they don’t make that much money and their parents are having financial problems.

Judith: I was thinking about giving it a try too. That would be so awesome, a Joanith documentary!

… Because all the Arcadia students have unlimited access to whatever they want, and she can therefore somehow randomly get a camcorder too.

Joan: Hey! We’re talking about ME here. (Starts stomping her foot) ME, ME, ME!

Grace walks up at the end of her tantrum.

Grace: What else do we talk about? We’re good friends but somehow we never talk about anything but Girardi’s newest dilemma.

Joan: (looks at Grace) Grace, why are you here? You know as well as we do that you don’t show up in any scenes with us anymore because my life has been taken over by Judith.

Grace: Sorry, dude. I forgot. Excuse me while I go shove my tongue down your brother’s throat. (She runs off)

Joan looks after her, confused.

Joan: I think something might be going on with her. She’s always running off somewhere, I never see her anymore. (Shrugs) What were we talking about? Oh right, ME!

Friedman walks up to them and grabs a hold of Judith’s arm. He starts reciting Hamlet. You know, because it is entirely possibly to learn the whole play in a few weeks.

Friedman: (with massive puppy eyes) I have finished it my sweet! Where would you like to go for our date, fair Ophelia?

Judith: (shakes him off) Finish the rest of Shakespeare’s plays and I’ll consider letting you speak to me.

Friedman rushes off to do just that, because it makes a lot of sense to go off and memorize a play instead of trying to spend time with her to get her to see him as more than a science freak. Especially since he knows she isn’t going to follow through on her offer.

Joan: (whines) Guuuyys! We’re supposed to talk about ME! What is it? You just don’t care anymore? (She bursts into tears)

Adam: (disgustingly sweet and patient): Of course we care, Jane.

Judith: Yeah, we care about you Jojo. Even though you’re self-absorbed and a bitch to all of us 90% of the time, we love you.

They all hug and the sap is pouring out so heavily that it is filling up the hallway. Other student’s feet are sticking to the floor as they walk by. The three pull away from the hug.

Adam: Maybe we should get to class, yo.

Joan: Class? But how can the world revolve around me if I’m sitting in class?

Judith: Its okay, we can stay out here. As long as there aren’t any plot developing characters in class already, it won’t start until we’re there.

Joan: We have physics, right? (Rolls eyes) We can go, but only because we are all in it together. Although it doesn’t make sense that you two and Grace would be able to be in AP physics. Or me for that matter.

They head to class and sit down. Mrs. Lieshak begins to drone on about something that we never hear because her voice magically fades when Adam and Joan start talking. Judith isn’t there because she is never shown in this class, even though she is supposedly in it. Luke and Grace walk in five minutes late. Lieshak rolls her eyes when Grace passes her and ignores that Luke came in late, because he is science student of the year. They both have smiles on their faces.

Joan: (turns to Grace) Were you off somewhere with my brother?

Grace: (mock scowls) Of course not! I am angry at the world like usual and definitely did not spend the last ten minutes swapping spit with your younger brother. And even if I were, you wouldn’t know because we are incredibly stealthy.

The sudden and short-lived deafness takes its toll again as well as a loss of short-term memory, causing Joan to forget she ever had suspicions. She turns back to talk to Adam, ignoring Grace again. Grace gets up and goes over to the table in front of her and sits in Luke’s lap.

Joan: (to Adam) Maybe Grace has a girlfriend or something.

Because, even though they are such good friends, Joan still thinks she is gay.

A random student who sits nearby is fed up and stands up.

Random Student: Oh come on! Joan, your brother and Grace are together… as in boyfriend, girlfriend, and playing tonsil hockey together!

Joan covers her ears and starts saying “La la la la” really loud during this. The student sits down and everyone is oblivious. Grace and Luke are on top of the table making out, but no one sees it due to the sudden outbreak of blindness. Joan uncovers her ears and looks over Luke and Grace to listen to the lecture Leishak is still giving.

Another normal and completely sane day at Arcadia High.

The End

A/N: Now that I have told my totally messed up thing (not sure this classifies as a story..lol) I will go back to writing “What If”… for those of you who care.