"We'd rather fight the evil before it's morning cup
of coffee... still wearing their fuzzy bunny slippers."
- Corey
"We get there and they say 'We're not open yet, would
you like some coffee while you wait?'."
- Corey
Rules for Ryan's Wacky Game
1. Do not give freaky little kids a magical item that
you don't know what does.
2. Do not steal and/or break anything which is protecting
a town, or even the world, from doom.
3. If something breathes, something or someone else
can make it stop.
4. If you create some great evil, don't tell anyone.
It's better that way.
5. A part of your soul is the same as the whole.
6. If you can take out a little one, then you can
take a big one... I think... unless it swallows you whole... oh, wait,
it did.
7. You can't physically hurt something if you're unconsious.
8. If you kill a baby dragon and piss off momma dragon,
just kill one of your friends' kids and it's all good.
9. Don't steal a major artifact from one of your friends
or party members if you can't get away very quickly.
10. If you worshipped the Doughnaught, you'd understand.
11. If you need money, you can cast mount, sell the
horse to some innocent stable hand, and leave town (Editor's Note:
This doesn't work)
12. If Athena is pissed at you, don't tell her that
you met Hades and think he's a "nice guy".
13. If you have a cryptic book that takes time, just
skim it to go faster.
14. If you don't feel too good and you don't know
why, and then someone does something and you feel better, but you don't
know why, then... oh well."
15. That is so racist. Just because one brownie
has a darker skin than another doesn't mean that it is tastier than the
other brownies.
16. Sacraficing yourself twice is better than once.
17. If all else fails, cast calm emotions.
18. If you turn evil, wipe it off of your shoe.
19. Do not take the Doughnaught's name in vain.
20. In a blizzard, you don't skin the wolves for warmth,
you skin them for money.
21. If an ice city transforms into a giant golem,
you do not cast fireball on it.
22. Do not convince a kraken to help you.
23. If you get ripped in half, you don't get any more
healing.
24. If you have an item that can save the party, don't
use one of the wishes on turning a blade of grass into a flying blade of
grass.
25. If you create a lot of evil and a wand of wishes
just so happens to fall into your possession,... wish you were never born.
26. See rule 24, then don't do it more than once.
27. Do not free the child being held captive in a
dragon's lair.
28. Don't try to take a magical item for a shadow
dragon.
29. To dodge a meteor swarm, use chalk.
30. Do not pick what is in the payday box over what
is behind the curtains.
31. The greatest shop is actually where you play rock-scissors-paper
for magical items.
32. Never give away your ability to cast calm emotions,
...even for the Doughnaught.
33. Got kraken problems ... plane shift it.
34. The convert someone, call them a heretic.
35. If the cleric is dying, give him more constitution.
36. The followers of the Doughnaught are like the
Catholics. We don't kill unless it's beneficial for us. (Editor's
Note: This is not the opinion of the editor).
37. Next time, be sure to have enough chalk to fit
the airship through the door.
38. NEVER reincarnate some one in Ravenloft.
39. If you lose your favorite spell, find a new one,
... like plane shift.
40. Give the Shadow Dragon the quest of finding a
million followers for the Doughnaught. It'll give him something to
do.
41. Just like curiositiy kill the cat, tumbling killed
the halfling.