May 14 2006, So Desperate for You
W here there is Love, there is Light on the darkest night.   

May 13 2006, One Year Later
I f you told me that I would be where I am now, doing what I am doing, I would have thought you laughable and strange.  It is true then.  God doesn't call the qualified.  [For I am the least of all persons to do what He has commissioned.]  He qualifies the Called.

May 12 2006, Brand New Day
T here is rain today.  I am always comforted by the sound of rain.  When I lean my head out of the window, I am amazed to find a scent of donuts!

Yesterday, I realized the moment had come to make up my mind.  "From here onward, this is the way it shall be..."  I have been so used to carrying this weight around with me that letting go off it seems almost...inconceivable.  [I make no excuses for my short-sightedness.]  But even dreamers must awake.  I have grieved enough in my spare moments.  I don't crave another year of this.

If I could describe what this is about.  There's this scene in Joe vs. The Volcano where Joe is drifting at sea, aboard his luggage.  One dark night, in his despair, he looks up and sees the moon over the horizon.  Fascinated by its beauty and luminosity, he raises his hands as if to hold it, to embrace it, even if just for a fleeting moment.  But as it rises, it slips too easily from his imaginary grip and he is left with his hands fully raised to the heavens.  Overcome, he utters the words, "O Great God [...] I have forgotten...how immensely big You are...thank You...for my life."

I too have forgotten...just how deep and high and wide You are when in reality, You are everything.  Thank You, for my life.