Sunday, July 22 7:45 pm

As I write this, hard core Indian music is throbbing outside, alternating with sickeningly twangy country songs. That's right--the neighbours are having a party. Leave it to those happy-go-lucky kooks to throw an Indian hoe-down. Oh well. To counteract the damage, I have my brand-spanking-new Alicia Keys CD on repeat. Can I tell you, I LOVE this CD. Love it. Love it. LOVE IT. Whenever I hear her song 'Fallin', I imagine I am the one with that knock'em dead soulful voice, lounging on a piano in a smoky blues club, belting it out with all my might. And if I turn up the volume loud enough to smother my own voice, I sound just as good as she does. I have discovered that is the trick. It's not that my own voice is bad--it may sound a little wobbly and questionable a cappella, but put Alicia Keys or Whitney or Mariah as my back up singers, and turn them up loud enough, and I sound FANTASTIC. It's a wonder Sony isn't beating down my door as we speak.
My cousin Maya visited this week from New Orleans. She is without a doubt the coolest cousin in the family, probably because she's adopted. Nobody who is truly born and bred in this family could be that cool. She's always had a rather large adventurous streak; she's lived in Columbia, the Carribbean, New York City, and basically everywhere else. This time she brought a video of her climb up Mount Kilimanjaro ('Kili,' as she affectionately refers to it,) last year--it was phenomenal. She also had a video of her safari trek through Africa (where she happened upon a pack of lions feasting on a newly killed giraffe) and her Indian/Christian wedding in Las Vegas. We are not worthy. She is one of those woman who writes a memoir when she's 90 and never regrets a single thing in her life. Amazing.

And speaking about grabbing life by the horns and living on the edge, I have recently started studying for the Business School exam. I know, I know--it is a crazy and adventurous decision--it was either that or becoming a groupie for Weird Al Yankovic. Hey, live life on the edge, I always say. Plunked down $1,200 hard earned dollars for a review course that guarantees me a good score--they damn well better, for that price. I went to a practice review last week and got killed, proving how futile my attempts at independent study are. I was not sure about this biz school thing, not sure I coulod conform to the cookie cutter life of Corporate Canada. But then I realized, I don't have to. I can still do PR or work for an NGO and do all those good things--it's just about not giving up on my dreams. Now if only I could convince those stuffed suits on the admissions committee to let me in...
IAnd finally, you're bored, here are some fun things to do:
1) Design your own engagement ring at www.adiamondisforever.com and then email it to your casual boyfriend, or better yet, random co-worker. Watch the hilarity ensue.
2) Go to www.dollheads.com and read the adventures of Faith in New York. It has now become a compulsive obsession with me...
NEWS FLASH!!!!
I have just managed to get my 'Stuff I Wrote' page up. Thanks to good old Yahoo, it looks like crap, but you can read it!! And I promise, the writing is better than the design!

Thursday, July 12 - 6:12 pm

YAHOO PAGE BUILDER IS A PIECE OF CRAP. Just thought you should all know that. I can't wait until I get 5 free seconds in my life to go read up on HTML and never have to deal with this crap anymore. I apologize for some of the links not working; I am still trying to figure out how to make things work...
Good Things That Happened Today:
1) Talked to my friend Emma, who I have always thought I shared a special connection with, though I didn't know her well until recently. Realized that we are on the same wavelength about a lot of things (such as our latest adventure--and our firm conviction that it is important to be mad crazy once in a while) and that she is a real kindred spirit. I can't wait to have a wild, wacky summer with her. And share her cool nailpolish ;)

2) Got drawn into the whirling vortex of Felicity once more. I am hopelessly addicted to that show. John Ritter was on today--sad to see good old swingin' Jack as the perverted kook that hits on Felicity. So glad I am not in the public eye so that if i have a downward spiral in my career, not everyone will be there to witness it..

Bad Things that happened today:
1) My stupid computer and my stupid Outlook conspired against me to reduce my work output to nil today. Good thing I work at home and have felicity to pass the time. Realized that without my email/scheduling program, I am reduced to a hopeless, quivering mass of jelly. I need to make re-occuring appointments in my calendar! i need to send emails marked high priority! I need to click neat little checkmarks next to tasks on my task list! Outlook, COME BAAAAAACK!!!!!!
Do you think there's a support group out there for people like me?

In other news, am in the second week of my new motivational workout plan. So far the only thing I've remained reasonably consistent with is taking the vitamins. Oh, well. Maybe getting some cute new workout clothes will help motivate...I always envy those people that have shirts that say Nike Basketball or Nike Running. Invariably, when I get on a kick like running or yoga or whatever, by the time I bring the shirt home I am over it. And I feel guilty wearing a shirt that says Nike Basketball to sleep. It's kind of like sitting on the couch with a box of cookies watching an aerobics show. You feel guilty for not getting up and doing it, but let's face it, there's no way in hell you're leaving those cookies...
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Tuesday, July 10 - 10:25 pm

A few very interesting things have happened in the past couple of days:
1) Yesterday I went to a gathering called Soul Food which my friend Zoe organized as basically a sounding ground for young activists of colour. It was so cool to hear girls like me on the front lines, fighting the good fight, changing the world...kind of a wake-up call from God that I need to get my ass in gear if I want to have any impact on the world at all, besides a website that only two people read. (Hi Sash! Hi Shaz!)
2) I realized as a result of that gathering that God is trying to tell me something in the form of all the 'coincidences' that are occurring in my life--that if I really feel that I have something of value that must be shared with the world, I better get it the hell out there. And while I was thinking about that, I randomly typed in the name of an author that I love into a search engine and came across her website, in which she went through the same struggle and saw the same coincidences in her life before she wrote her book. Hmmm...
3) I had a beach party for everyone at work, to which my bosses brought their new puppy. They spent the whole afternoon praising it for pooping and gushing about it ("He's sooooooooo cute! Isn't he the cutest dog in the world? You are the cutest dog in the world! Yes you are!") Made me realize the truth in that Jerry Seinfeld bit--if aliens came down to earth and saw one species walking around and another species following them picking up their poop, who would they think ruled the world?

 

Sunday, July 8 - 10:21 pm

Tourist Life
Emma and I dressed up as foreign tourists today and navigated the city in an intensely pretentious, rudely obnoxious but completely hilarious way (her idea). I went as Sophia Loren, complete with huge floppy hat, sunglasses that went to my chin, and a snooty I-am-sooo-worldly accent. Emma was Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's, with her hair in a twist and an offhandedly charming Brit accent...

First stop: the double decker bus that goes around the city, where we insisted on upper-level seats ("But darling, we simply must sit on this level so we can see over this revolting layer of smog,") and generally made obnoxious comments about everything we saw. ("That's the CN Tower? Rather an obvious phallic symbol to have as the pride of the city, isn't it?") Marvellous.

Next we strolled through Prada, Gucci and Chanel, trying on whatever was most expensive and then complaining that is was so last season..."I would give my right arm for that tan butter-soft leather purse," whispered Emma as we sashayed through Gucci, "but then I wouldn't have anywhere to put the bag..." We left in fits of giggles...

Had lunch at Sotto Sottos, craning our necks rather tactlessly to catch an eyeful of any potential celebrities (I thought I saw Suzanne Sommers scarfing down some fettucine Alfredo, but turns out it was a false alarm--fancy, another 50-something, silicone enhanced blonde in the same city!) Lapsed in my pretty-pathetic-to-begin-with Italian accent when ordering, and the uppity waiter looked at me suspiciously. Fortunately, Emma stepped in with her immaculate phony British and ordered "something saucy, please," and winked at him. We shared "Crab cutlettes with a mint and mango coulis," because it was the cheapest appetizer. Tried not to look too hungry as we scarfed it down. Fortunately, the bubbles from all the San Pellegrino we drank helped to fill our stomachs...

Then we went to the lobby of the Four Seasons and acted like we had rooms there, zooming up and down in the elevator saying flighty things in front of important looking people "But darling, if Oscar finds out, he will be put out. After all, 27 affairs in six months is a bit much, don't you think?" )The looks we got were classic--especially from a 50ish matronly woman, who stared us down fiercely but was no doubt upset that she didn't get the same action.

All in all, a pretty entertaining day...reached new heights of superficiality (is that a word?) and had a damn good time doing it, too. We are thinking of crashing an amateur poetry reading next, and reading some phony poems ("The cows graze on the beautiful purple grass...Die COWS! DIE!") Stay tuned...and if you have any comments or ideas for other fun useless things to do, email me...

 

Monday, July 2 - 4:20 pm

I have spent what has felt like the last 15 days and nights at the hospital. My grams was recently checked in to undergo a triple bypass, and is now recovering. Scary. I have never much liked hospitals--that smell of sickness and disinfectant mixed with strained peas has always disgusted me--but this time, than God, it was different. St. Mike's is a gorgeous sunny hospital with lots of colour and comfortable chairs. It seems more like a hotel than a hospital. I think my grandma sees this too, because she looks a lot more comfortable here than she has in other hospitals.

So after a period of heart pounding fear. my grandma is doing much better, which is an overwhelming relief. These flashes of life-without-grandma always scare the crap out of me, although she is 80 years old and truthfully, no spring chicken, as the nurse watching her so tactfully informed me. I always feel like she is this woman of incredible power and strength and character and I might not be able to learn everything she has to share with me, about her life and the world. Scary thought.

In other news, I am rereading Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzugh for what must be the hundredth time. I needed something easy to take my mind off the surgery, and nothing like Trusty Harriet to do that. Sometimes I wish I could be a kid again just so I would be able to carry around a notebook and record the world around me. (Of course, I could still do that, but would probably referred to politely as "eccentric" (read: psychotic) by everyone who knew me.)

And now I think I will go update the "Top Ten Lists" page...

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