My Happiness 
 (by Yayan) 

  I have experienced the difficult periods for two 
years. All of them have been caused by my longing that 
hasn't realized. Finally, I felt so stress and 
frustrated. My soul has died and I never thought to 
live anymore. I always was sad that the Lord let me 
deep down good for nothing situation. 

  Although I was facing the terrible time, I still 
have tried to pray and read the spiritual books, 
especially about "Consciousness" by Fr. Anthony de 
Mello. In his book, I have found the best sentence 
which made me fell interested and protected. The best 
sentences are "I don't need you to make me be happy. 
I can be happy without you" 

  Of course, you would think, how I was surprised, 
spontaniously to stop suddenly it's made. That's 
right. And then I asked myself "what's the meaning of 
the best words?" 

  After I have had thera'peutic words, now I can see 
more clearly that juring for two years I have done 
anymistake, namely to condemn myself for the bad 
decision. 

  The event since, I've begun to instropective and 
tried to let go free myself from dependent on the 
other person. Always I tell by myself that "I can be 
happy without anything. My happiness was only myself. 
If I give more time to love and carefulness for 
myself, otomatic I can love the other people without 
except." 

  Now, I can walk on this life with happiness without 
repentence yet. Thanks God. Moreover I have found 
mylife to give the other people. And also may I never 
think to die soon, before to do and to share the best 
for the world.