The Foam Rubber Challenge
     On Saturday, September 23, 2000 Foam Rubber played at the Blarney Stone at 154th and Cicero. Pat Keiner and Chuckie/Kevin opened for the Rubber as Cavalcade of Ass. They played "All Night Long" by Lionel Richie and "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama, among other shameful songs of the 80s. They had a percussionist who used only a small bass drum, a pair of bongos, a symbol and a tambourine. There was a skateboarding dog out on the patio. I am not making this up.
     Before Foam Rubber took the stage, Soter had to get into his George Washington costume. The band gathered outside, near the entrance to the bar while Soter put on the knickers, the three cornered hat, the long coat, and the powdered wig. It was still kind of wet outside, but Soter had to put on these long, silky tube socks and pull them up to his knickers. As someone passed by to go in the bar, Soter said to them, "I'm not gay, I'm George Washington," as if they had asked.
     Foam Rubber played well that night, which was strange.Washington
     In the middle of the show, Soter did the Foam Rubber challenge. If you've never seen this before, it is the point in the show where Soter asks simple questions to cute girls in the audience, then rewards them with stupid prizes. He got some girl up on stage with his usual charm, "You! Yeah, you. Come on up here!" The girl stood there on stage, embarrassed to be standing next to the father of our country, George Washington. Soter asked into the microphone, "What's your name?" The girl yelled into his ear, "Sheila!" Soter said, "Okay, Debbie! Hey everyone, this is Debbie!" The bar unenthusiastically yelled back, "Hi Debbie." Soter laughed that "game-show-host" laugh. The girl looked confused and frightened. "Okay, Debbie, if you can answer one simple question, you will win this Foam Rubber T-shirt!" She nodded. T-Shirt

     "Debra," Soter said, "May I call you Debra?" "Sure, whatever!" she said, throwing her arms in the air. "There are three kinds of fish you can catch in the Great Lakes: big mouth bass, whitefish, and perch. Now here's the question: What are the three kinds of fish can you catch in the Great Lakes?"
     Silence. The girl looked confused. Soter dangled the Foam Rubber T-shirt in front of her. The girl looked to the crowd for help. She laughed nervously, and said "I don't know." Soter said, "Listen carefully, there are three kinds of fish you can catch in the Great Lakes," he ticked them off with his fingers, "big mouth bass, whitefish, and perch. What are the three kinds of fish you can catch in the Great Lakes?" She hesitated. Then guessed, "Big mouth bass, whitefish, and perch?" Soter yelled like a maniac, "That's correct! You win! Thanks so much for playing, Debra, here's your shirt - don't stretch it out." Then Soter rolled his eyes and made a face as if he couldn't wait for her to get off the stage.
     The band closed the show with Prince's "Purple Rain." Mark, the sound guy, got a little crazy with the volume and we blew a fuse in the middle of the song. There was no more sound coming from the microphones, no guitars, no keyboards, just drums. Instead of a proper, climactic ending, the night petered out with a drum solo.
     When Soter started packing up his gear, the manager came up to him and said, "You're not done! You have to play until two o'clock." Soter was dumbfounded. It was about 1:15 am. "Well, that was our last song, and besides we blew a fuse, so we're done." Soter said. "No you're not. Check the contract," she said. "There was no contract. We did this on a handshake," he replied. "Besides we started early. We brought the opening act." She wasn't hearing any of it. "You have to play until two. That's what we agreed to!" Soter pointed out that the microphones had all been taken down and the fuse was still blown.
     "The fuse is back on. You can play," she said. "Well everyone else has put away their stuff," Soter said. Then he offered jokingly, "I guess I could do some finger-picking." She was still adamant. So Soter strapped on his guitar and started playing. She walked away.
     Without a microphone, Soter had to shout. He looked like a kid who had to stay after school serving some weird musical punishment. He had to stand there and entertain. Everyone else around him was packing up gear or talking with friends.
     No one more than five feet away could hear what he was singing. But this was probably a good thing because he was singing in a hillbilly accent shit like, "Y'all better check yer contracts / when you play this bar! Cuz yer s'posed to play 'till two, and she won't have it no other way…"
     The moral of the story is, never miss a Foam Rubber show.
 
 

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