2.15 A Day In The Life
a day in the life of xena and gabrielle...fighting a warlord and giant all in the same day!
my
comments:
this is one of the favourites amoung xenites because it's so different from
the rest. in this episode you can see how xena and gabrielle relate to each
other from day to day either by playing games or teasing each other....or
taking a bath together!! gotta love that scene.
i enjoyed the feel of the episode too. especially the camera work, as it looked
like it was all done by a portable hand-held camera.
Written by
R.J. Stewart
Edited by Robert Field
Directed by Michael Hurst
Guest Stars
Murray Keane as Hower
Alison Wall as Minya
Willy De Wit as Zagreas
Tony Billy as Largo
Jim Ngaata as Gareth
Disclaimer: No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world.
TRANSCRIPT
[Waking Up]
Sold: Now, shes ours! Hah-hah!
X: Some breakfast? Yeah! Come on! Come
and get me! Oh,
youre so good! Gabrielle!
G: Xena!
X: What? Where dya think youre going!
G: Xena, this was our only frying pan.
Why do you do that?!
You do have weapons, dont you?
X: I like to be creative in a fight. It gets my juices going.
G: Can we cook with your juices?
Sold: Ohh! Could you guys talk about this some other time?
X: Oh, yeah-- Ive cut off the--
Sold: -- flow of blood to my brain. Ive
heard all about it.
What do you want to know?
X: Who sent you?
Sold: Zagrayas-- he wants to loot a little
village not far from
here that had a big harvest this year.
X: What village?
Sold: Piedmont. Zagrayas said you were
in the area, so-- he
sent us here to stop you before you could get in his way.
X: Looks like were going to Piedmont. All right, Gabri--
Sold: Hey! Hey!
Sold: Ow!
X: Oh, sorry I, um-- I guess I havent totally woken up yet.
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[Finding Your Way]
G: Which way?
X: I dont know. Ive never been here before.
G: Xena-- you know-- you should have asked
for instructions
when you had the pinch on that guy.
X: Well, you were there. Why didnt you ask him?
G: Oh, like you would want me to butt
in on one of your pinch
interrogations?
X: Why not? You ask good questions.
G: Really? Thank you.
Hower [H]: Yo! Yo!
G: Xena-- here comes a guy. Lets
try this. You put the pinch
on him and Ill ask the questions.
X: Hey!
G: Ow!
X: Why dont we just try asking him
the regular way, first,
huh?
G: All right. Excuse me, sir. Do--?
H: Are you Xena?
X: Yes. Hmm?
H: Oh, ah, my-- my village is in great
danger. Can you help
us?
X: Is Zagrayas after your village too?
H: Not Zagrayas. A giant wanted us to
pay him protection
money. But we didnt have enough. So he says hes gonna come
this afternoon-- and flatten our town.
G: Two villages in dire straits. I _hate_
when that happens.
Well-- I guess well just have to methodically examine the needs
of each village, and then-- determine where we can do the most
good. Yeah?
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[Making a Decision]
G: All right-- now Ive made a list
of the pros and cons.
Which village is in greater danger; which has the most to lose;
giant versus warlord, and so on. Now, Im sure with careful
consideration of the facts, we can come to the right decision.
X: Heads-- we take on the giant.
G: Of course-- thats another way.
H: Oh, ah-- Laurel. Its this way.
G: Hey! Hower! Does your village have
a store that sells
frying pans?
X: You know, I really dont wanna hear about this all day.
G: Look! Ill drop it. I suppose raw meat cant kill you.
X: Fine.
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[ACT I]
[Traveling]
G: Are you male or female?
X: Male.
G: Living? Dead?
X: Oh, I am very dead.
G: Were you killed by a certain Warrior Princess?
X: Yes.
G: Well, that narrows it down-- a little. Huh. Atyminius?
X: No.
G: Hmm. Ah! Ah, I almost go you that time.
X: No, you didnt.
G: What are you talking about? I was this close.
X: You were this close cause I let you get this close.
G: Well see.
X: Oh. Hower-- how big is this giant?
H: I dont know. He-- hes never
been to our village before.
And he just sends threats through a messenger.
G: Well, how do you know there really is a giant?
H: Weve heard hes already
destroyed a village in the next
valley.
X: So, hes never been to your village.
We may be able to use
that to buy some time. I had no breakfast, all right? Hower, is
there a creek nearby?
H: Ah, yeah-- just over that ridge.
X: Great. Lets take a detour and eat.
G; Fish sounds good. You know, a frying
pan would come in
handy right about now.
X: Get off it, Gabrielle.
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G: Are you a warlord or royalty?
X: Warlord.
H: Doesnt she need a fishing pole?
G: Its much too conventional for her. Are you Dagnine?
X: Nope. What do you like, Hower? Trout or perch?
H: Trout.
G: Ill take salmon.
X: Wrong kind of creek; wrong season; wrong--
G: Fine-- how about eel?
X: Eel.
G: Mmm.
X: See that? Horse tracks, lots of them.
Looks like Zagrayas
army forded the creek here recently. It means it wont be long
before they strike at Piedmont.
G: What a shame that litle village has to be looted.
X: Im not gonna let that happen, Gabrielle.
G: Xena, you cant stop it. You cant
be in two places at
once.
X: I dont have to be. One eel coming up! Here you go!
G: Ah, thats funny-- yeah.
H: Let me ask you something, Gabrielle.
Does Xena ever think
about-- settling down and getting married?
G: No-- she likes what I do. I think she
likes what shes
doing. No, I dont think settling down is for Xena.
H: Hmm-- maybe she just hasnt met the right guy.
G: You know, anythings possible,
Hower. Hower-- I saw some
wood lying around. Would you mind collecting it? Were gonna
have to cook these, somehow! Thanks-- good shot. Another ones
fallen for you.
X: Again?
G: Yeah.
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X: Why does this always happen?
G: Its the blue eyes, the leather.
Some guys just love
leather.
X: I think a wardrobe change is in order.
G: You could wear chain mail.
X: Yeah, but I think thatd just attract a kinkier group.
G: Youre probably right.
X: On the other hand, I could just stop
bathing and wear a
smelly wolf skin. Thatd turn em off.
G: Thats true. Of course, youd also be travelling alone.
H: Flowers for a flower.
X: Oh-- thanks, Hower.
H: Did you see that?
G: What?
H: She _took_ the flowers-- she likes me.
G: Oh, boy.
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X: Gabrielle-- what do you think youre
doing?! Oh-- thats
just great. Its gonna smell like fish for days!
G: Well, what was I supposed to use, huh?
You threw our only
good cutting knife at a warlord last week. I bet its still
sticking out of his thigh.
H: Ill wash it off for you, Xena.
X: Thats all right, Hower. How far
are we away from your
village?
H: Its about two more hours-- due east.
X: Good-- we can find it on our own. There
is something you
can do for me.
H: Anything.
X: I want you to deliver a message to
Zagrayas. Tell him not
to worry about anything. I wont get in his way if he doesnt
get in mine.
H: Thats it?
X: Yeah.
G: I dont understand it, either.
But I learned that she works
in mysterious ways.
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[A Call From Nature]
G: And the bacchae _crushed_ their victims
like a python!
Python, right. And the bacchae fell on their victims like hungry
wolves. Thatll work. You used my scrolls?!
X: Now, take it easy. There were no good
leaves in the bush.
I used a piece that didnt have much writing on it!
G: Y--
X: The giants coming.
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[Giving Directions]
G: I hope I spelt Laurel right.
X: Who cares?! Giants cant spell.
G: You know, how do you know hes
coming this way? I havent
heard him in a few minutes. Maybe-- maybe hes gone another
route.
X: Theres a giants burial
ground close by. I figure he might
wanna stop there on the way. Lets go. Gabrielle!
G: What?!
X: Come on.
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[ACT II]
G: Light or dark hair?
X: Dark.
G: Fat?
X: No-- buff.
G: Hmm. Toxeus.
X: No-- thats interesting.
G: What? Huh. Theres actually something
interesting about
this place, Xena? Hello-- this is like every other village weve
ever been in. You know, for once, you think somebody would try
something new-- line the road with birch trees or--
X: No-- I mean, theres no one here.
Minya [M]: Ooh! Quit wiggling! Stop wiggling,
you-- rotten
goat!
G: Hello.
M: Youre-- you-- youre Xena, arent you?
X: Yes.
M: All right! I finally get to meet the--
the Warrior Princess
herself! Ive heard about all your adventures. How you
unchained death, and-- and liberated Prometheus, and-- nailed
that Callisto witch.
X: Listen. I-- Im just here to--
M: You are the main thing, the real deal,
you know?! The
number one attraction! And, um-- you must be ah-- uh-- oh-ho--
um-- Lariel. Whats it like to travel with the hottest warrior
in the butt-kicking bizz, huh? Does she sleep in the--?
G: Well.
X: Hey! Lady, were on a mission.
M: And-- we stayed behind to help. All
the other villagers--
theyve run to the hills-- except for me and my boyfriend, Hower.
Youve probably met him already. Where is he?
X: Ah-- hes doing me a favor. He told me about your problem.
M: Well, I want you to know-- Im
ready to do anything you
need. Im as strong as a bull-- and I can read. Thats a pretty
rare combination in these parts. So-- whats you plan? Your
strategy? Howre you gonna whip this overgrown fleabag?
X: I dont know yet. Im gonna have to think this one out.
M: Fine-- What can I do to help you concentrate?
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G: Mezentius?
X: No.
G: Who could it be? Dont-- dont tell me.
M: Is it too hot?
X: No, its just right.
M: Ill go get some more.
G: What are we going to do about the giant?
X: I dont know; it hasnt hit me yet.
G: You know, we could get Minya to round up the mirrors.
X: Mirrors?
G: Yeah-- in case hes wearing a
helmet. You know, like
Goliath.
X: Oh.
G: You can reflect the sun onto him. Hell
take off the helmet
and expose the giant soft spot.
X: Ive already done that.
G: Yeah, I know-- and it worked. You know,
you dont have to
be original every time you fight, Xena.
X: I suppose not. Here, now Ill
do your back. Oh-- thats
enough, Minya.
G: Shes in that, Ill
do anything for the Warrior Princess
haze.
X: Yeah-- well, shes a good kid-- I suppose.
G: You know, her boyfriend is in love
with you. Hmm. Guess
Ill have to straighten that out, too.
X: Why you?
G: Because I do the sensitive chats.
X: Well, that doesnt mean that I cant.
G: Why do you have to be so competitive about everything?
X: Oh, and youre not?
G: Im less competitive than you are.
X: Thats enough, Minya! Thank you.
M: Sure. Have you got your plan yet?
X: Well--
G: We want you to collect all the mirrors in town.
M: Is that what you want, Xena? A mirror is part of the plan?
X: Yeah-- for now. What?
G: You said, for now.
X: So?
G: Youre not gonna do that again, are you?
X: What?!
G: You know what. We set up a perfectly
good plan, and then
you change it at the last minute.
X: Well, you gotta be flexible. It comes
with the job. Are
you sitting on the soap?
G: I was wondering what that was-- hmm.
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M: Hello, Hower! Xenas here! Isnt
she incredible?! So
strong, so-- confident, so brave, so--
H: -- beautiful.
M: Well, shes all right-- if you like that type.
H: Xena-- I delivered your message to Zagrayas. He--
X: -- wanted to know what I was up to,
and decided to hold off
his attack on Piedmont till he could figure it out. And, he
wouldnt agree to my offer.
H: Thats right. How did you know that?
X: I used to ride with Zagrayas. Hes
got nerves of mush and
he wouldnt trust his own mother. Hower, I want you to go back
to him, and tell him that I dont mind if he sacks Piedmont, but
hed better not come anywhere close to Laurel. Got it?
H: All right-- anything you want, Xena.
Well-- Im going now,
Xena.
M: Bye, Hower.
X: Hey! Hower, say goodbye to Minya.
H: Bye.
M: Hes running. Ive never
seen him run for anything but a
meal.
X: When Hower gets back, one of us has got to talk to him.
G: Hmm. Minya-- is this your frying pan?
M: Yeah?
G: Do you wanna trade?
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[Practice Makes Perfect]
G: Ah, yeah! Sinteres.
X: No.
G: Was it someone you fought before I met you?
X: No.
G: Fine-- who was it?
X: Theodorus.
G: Theodorus? Xena, Callisto killed Theodorus.
X: Yeah-- but she was in my body at the time.
G: Y--
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M: Oww! Oww!
X: Hey!
M: The rotten thing came back and bit me!
X: You gotta be careful with it. What
are you doing with my
whip, anyway?
M: It isnt your whip, anymore. I
traded my best frying pan
for it-- fair and square.
G: Look-- we have to cook our food. I
am still waiting for the
fish I had for lunch to stop brying to swim upstream!
X: No, this isnt about cooking, is it?
G: I dont know what youre talking about.
X: I messed with your scroll, so you--
you traded my whip for a
frying pan? I want it back.
M: No! It belongs to me! You dont
get that concept very
well, do you? The whip is mine. The frying pans yours. Hower
is mine! Shes yours.
G: Hmm.
X: Im going to go check on the giant.
Move all the mirrors up
the north end of town.
M: Youre not the only tough broad
around here, you know?! You
can run, but you cant hide! Warrior Princess, my--!
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H: Oh, Xena!
X: Yo, Hower.
H: Zagrayas--
X: -- is moving in this direction?
H: Thats right. How do you know all that? Youre a genius.
X: No, I just know that scum always floats
to the surface. He
wants to see what Im doing in Laurel. He figures there must be
some profit in it.
H: Uh-huh. But why do you want him to
come this way? Then
well have to fight the giant and Zagrayas army.
X: Not if we time things right.
H: What is it? Wow! And I thought I had big feet!
X: Three paces. Its gotta be Gareth.
H: Whos Gareth?
X: Only the biggest and meanest giant
who ever walked the
Earth.
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[ACT III]
M: And thanks to Xena, the Bacchae were
turned into the
beautiful women they were (says with Gabrielle) before.
G: What do you think?
M: Its pretty good. Do you have
one where Xena steals
somebodys boyfriend, or, do you always leave that part out?
G: Minya-- look, Xena would never take
anybodys boyfriend.
She has more integrity in that way than anyone Ive ever met.
She will send the right message, I guarantee it.
H: Minya-- I wanna be real honest with
you. I think Im in
love with Xena.
M: She sent him a message, all right.
G: Xena-- we need to talk about Hower.
X: The giant is Gareth. We dont
have much time. The mirror
plan wont work.
H: Gareth is--
M: -- the biggest, meanest giant ever
to walk the Earth.
Xenas old buddy, Goliath, wanted to get revenge on Gareth for
killing his family. But then, Xena and Goliath ended up on
opposite sides during the Israelite-Philistine feud. And then
Goliath got wasted. I read it in one of her scrolls.
G: Does Gareth wear a helmet?
X: With a heavy nose guard.
G: Well, why wont the mirrors--?
X: No, there are heavy rain clouds moving
in from the west.
There wont be any sunshine to reflect.
G: Whatre we gonna do?
X: Zeus killed giants with lightning bolts.
G: How are we going to get lightning bolts?
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[Trial and Error]
X: There.
G: What is it?
X: I dont have a name for it. But
if I can get it up into the
air, I think we can use it to nail Gareth.
G: Get it up in the air?
X: Yeah, you know? Make it fly. Let the wind carry it.
M: [Snickers] Looks like your precious has got a screw loose.
X: Oh.
G: Xena-- look-- I hate to doubt you after
all weve been
through, but-- I think this is a long shot.
X: Well, _whats_ your plan?
G: Hey, dont get defensive. I just
dont share your vision
here.
X: There were plenty of other times when
you didnt share my
vision.
G: Yes, and you were right those other
times. But, eventually
youre going to be wrong. Call it the law of averages. I just
as soon it not be when the biggest giant to ever walk the Earth
is headed our way!
X: Maybe if I ran with it. All right! Come on.
G: Have faith, Gabrielle. Have faith.
H: [Snickers]
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G: Yes! Woo-hoo! We did it! We did it!
We did it! We did
it! Yeah! When Gareth gets here, were gonna have a-- piece of
parchment floating in the air, with a belt-buckle hanging on it.
Xena, what is this supposed to do?
X: Bring the power of Zeus to Earth. Here--
you take over.
Keep it up there just as long as you can. Im gonna go talk some
sense into Hower.
G: Are you sure you-- you dont want me to--?
X: Gabrielle-- I think I can handle it.
Keep that string
taut.
G: Uh-huh. Xena! Hey! Woo-hoo! Oh! Come here! Come here!
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H: Xena. I was just brushing Argo down
fo you. I think she
likes me.
X: Hower, Minyas a good woman. She
loves you. Youre lucky
to have her. And you got a snowballs chance in Tartarus with
me. You got that?
H: I think youre denying your feelings,
Xena. But I can be
patient. Youll come around. Hmm?
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X: Gabrielle. Gabrielle?
G: You know, I would have had you if I
hadnt done the war
cry.
X: Yeah, sure you would. Its your turn to talk to Hower.
G: Right-- your flying parchments stuck in a tree.
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H: My love for Xena will last forever!
M: OK-- thanks Xena.
G: What did you say to her?
X: I just gave her some advice about handling
me. I dont know
if she really listened. She doesnt trust me, you know? How did
it go with Hower?
G: Not well. Maybe you could kick him around a little bit.
X: Yeah-- No, he might like it.
G: Thats true-- Hmm.
X: You know-- if this works, Ill repay an old friend a debt.
G: Goliath?
X: Yeah-- Ive always regretted that
he had to die. But at
least now I get to even the score for him. The giant that killed
his family is headed toward the wrong village.
G: The dead can hear our thoughts. Im
sure that he knows you
care about him.
X: Yeah.
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H: What was that?!
X: Sounds like Zagrayas just ran into
a certain giant. That
Gareth never could resist stomping an army.
H: Brilliant! That was your plan all along.
To bring Zagrayas
into Gareths path. Do all your plans work this well?
X: Lets hope so-- Cause when
hes done with Zagrayas-- hes
coming for us.
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[ACT IV]
[Waiting for Gareth]
G: Whats taking him so long?
X: Cut him some slack. Hes just
stomped an entire army. Hes
probably resting.
G: Wheres Minya?
X: I hope shes taking some advice I gave her.
Zagrayas [Z]: Xena!
X: Hi, Zagrayas. Having a bad day?
Z: You set me up, Xena! That giant destroyed
my entire army!
Its not fair! Im just trying to make a living! All us
warlords are! A little looting! A little mayhem! You used to
do it, Xena! But you changed! And you ruined everything for all
of us! With your chakram, your-- whip, your sword, your fists,
and your little tricks! You made fools of us all! Im here to
end it, Xena-- end it all! Yeah! One of us aint leaving this
place alive, Xena. So come on! Lets have at it!
M: Hey! Tough guy! You wanna talk or fight?
Z: Another one! [Screams]
H: Whoa! Minya! That was amazing! I had no idea you--
M: -- ooked so good in leather?
H: Minya! Whatd you do with that whip?!
M: Hower!
X: Hes headed toward the giants
burial ground first. Ive
gotta go out to meet him. If this doesnt work-- or if the bad
weather doesnt hold, I want you to get Hower and Minya to
safety. Dont let them die in a lost cause.
G: Xena-- Im sorry I traded your whip for a frying pan.
X: I shouldnt have used your scrolls.
Were even. Its
time.
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Gareth [Gar]: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
X: Gareth-- we meet again.
Gar: Im going to squash you like an insect.
X: In your dreams.
Gar: Im going to get you, Xena.
X: Come on, handsome! Come on, Gareth--
you couldnt catch a
cold!
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X: You should have more respect for the dead!
Gar: You cant get away from me.
X: Youll be joining them sooner
than you think! Goliath says
Hello.
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[Going to Bed]
X: That bunch up there looks like a big dipper.
G: A dipper?
X: Yeah, you know-- like one of those
cups that you draw water
out of a bucket.
G: It looks-- it looks like a bear to me.
X: A bear?
G: Yeah.
X: How do you get a bear?
G: Look it-- look-- theres the body;
look-- see the little
ears, and-- tail.
X: Oh.
G: Xena? Oh, no-- Im so sorry. Are you all right?
X: Ill live.
G: Im sorry. I-- I never thought
Id-- Id really hit you.
I--
X: Its all right. Lets just
try and go to sleep, now, OK?
Hey!
G: Did you just let me hit you?
X: No, you nailed me fair and square.
G: You did, didnt you? You-- you
let me hit you, because you
feel sorry for me.
X: Go to sleep.
G: All right. I know you let me hit you.