Homecoming? What the hell?

Okay, here we are about five weeks into school when all the sudden there is all this hustle and bustle about what? Homecoming?

The first thought that comes to mind is “What the hell?” First of all, who is coming home, and why the hell are they so late? I mean, when I come home late, I don’t get a damn dinner and dance, I get an ass whopping. And what's the deal with those damn floats? Why must we spend time and money to construct a large paper Indian? Are we trying to please some screwed up paper Indian God? If we do not do this ritual act, are we damned to a hell of paper tribes?

But anyway, Homecoming can be a very depressing time for the great loser kingdom. It is around this time that we fully realize how unattractive we are to the opposite sex. We see all the may preps with their cheerleaders hanging off them, then we see the toothless looking our way.... uh oh. But we must band together, like the great nation we are and proclaim-

“ Hell No, We won’t go!”

Unless we’re asked of course.

Big T Lyons