Hi, my name is Trent Lyons and I am another one of Cody’s fatass friends. In fact, I am heir to the loser thrown; I’m next in line of the great dynasty of losers that dates back to the creation of the world. But anyway, as I await my crown I shall remain Cody’s lowly scribe, writing these insightful little columns.

Sandwiches... The Never-Ending Fad

Fads come and go... Bell-bottoms, Tie-dyed shirts, Tron’s nipple shirts.... But the one fad we can always depend on is that of the sandwich. We take this holy combination of meats and cheeses for granted. We never stop to think about all that the sandwich has been through. It has survived wars, plagues, and the whole hamburger craze. (A hamburger is not officially a sandwich) But is has always been there for us, our little meaty friend in good times and in bad.

But do we ever thank it? No, we are too consumed by the lust of hunger to even realize its feelings. *sniff* So sad....

A brief history-

The year is 1762. John Montague, the fourth earl of Sandwich, is at a gaming table in the London Beefsteak Club, situated above Covent Garden Theatre. The betting is fast and furious, and Montague is riveted, refusing to leave the table for even a moment. Montague is notorious for his gambling sprees, but this time is different; this time Montague stays at the table for an entire day. But even the most compulsive gambler must eat, and so at one point Montague brusquely calls for slices of bread and meat. He quickly slaps the meat between the bread and gobbles his creation with one hand, leaving the other free to continue gambling.

And from this humble beginning springs the most glorious of creations. So, when they say something is the best invention since sliced bread, tell them to screw themselves. Because the best invention since sliced bread, is now and has always been our friend, the sandwich.

Big T Lyons