The Loser Chronicles

Issue 4

Right about now... The Funk Soul Brother

This Week’s Topic:

The Spork.... What the Hell?

Are we blind? Can we not see an innovation when it is placed right in front of our faces?! A great advancement in the world of dinner wear was born in the early 1940’s. The US Army created the spork during the war because it was thought to be “uncivilized” to be using chopsticks to eat. The use spread to public schools and then went global with it’s introduction into the first nation chain restaurant....

Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC). From here, they spork fad spread to Taco Bell and even McDonalds (big time baby!). As time went on, there was a fall-out of popularity of the spork. McDonalds dropped it from their plastic silverware lineup (damnit!). Then Taco-Bell followed suit and trashed the spoon-fork hybrid. We looked on in fear as KFC stood, the remaining house of the spork... Could this be the last stop for our short-lived little friend?

NO! Years after they dropped it, Taco-Bell realized their horrible mistake and reinstated the hallowed “Spork”! And to this day it sits there in it’s little plastic wrap, yearning to be used for our beans and burritos. Even KFC has held on to it’s treasure! Yet, the spork has not reached it’s true potential yet. I will not feel right until the under credited hero gets it’s spot on the dinner table in every red-blooded Americans home! For sporks are not only plastic, but metal and wooden too! Long live the God damned Spork!!!!!

Big T Lyons