The Loser Chronicles

Issue 3

Welcome to The Hotel California

This Weeks Topic:

Planes.... What The Hell?

We humans and our bright ideas are starting to piss me off. My topic this week focuses on the latest travel craze.... the airplane. They say that you have a better chance of getting struck by lightening then to die in a plane crash, if this is true why in the hell aren’t we hearing of all these people getting struck by lightening? In one year you hear about five or six plane crashes and maybe one or two dumbasses getting struck by lightening. Usually some genius fishing with a metal rod in a lightening storm. That's not a fluke of nature, that's God picking off the dumbasses of the earth.

And what's with the damn black box? What is this miracle material that allows a God damn radio to survive a crash where a 5 ton, fuel filled bird plummets thousands of feet slamming into the ground? I don’t feel we have realized the potential of this material. Just make the whole damn plane out of the black box! And why in the hell do they have flotation devices under the seats? For God sakes why don’t they just put parachutes down there? If I’m flying over the US where chance of hitting a body of water is like diving into a water glass, why do I want a life jacket? I want a chance at life for God sakes. Yes ladies and gentlemen, these are the high-caliber people that run the aviation industry. God help us!

Big T Lyons