| How to lose a friend. All it takes on your part is a thoughtless deed, or a word without heart. To stir feelings of anger hurt or pain. In another, whose pride is so brutally slain. One remark leads to another and soon emotions are running high. The arguement finally ends, one having the last word, the other never again to rely. Each other's friendship, once held so dear, is now washed away, in a simple tear. Thus in closing, there is nothing more to say, expect to quote a phrase, whose advice i heed to this very day, Friendship is like glass, handle with care, for once broken, it is hard to repair." |
| As we consider the above verses, i want to deal in particular with the message " all it take is a thoughtless deed, or a word without heart. to stir feelings of anger hurt or pain... one remarks lead to another soon emotion ae running high...", i would like to share a story with you. Or shall i say it a catastrope that had befallen on me. The worst day that i knew it was await me, had finally came. I always get comments from friends and colleagues like " wow, it's very rare for you girls to be still able to get along and together after the schoolling days." So every now and then i would tell rebecca that if there is anything wrong between us should talk openly. We should not keep it in our heart. Or else it will be accumlated and when the day when we finally burst out, it will be very hard to be back to the normal. I always told her and Eileen that i'm a democatic person, any comment feel free to voice out. I respect others' views. Its all begins when i informed them about the 8am thur lecture. I mistaken wednesday as thursday. And it ended up, rebecca arrived early, and started to blamed me for giving the wrong reminder. And of course, i apologized since it's my mistake. Well, i had a foul mood that day, feeling a bit tired about the work i'm doing, and also a bit lost in my own thought. I warned rebecca not to mess around with me. But she kept bringing the matter up. Like i said eariler, i HAD already apologized. What does she wants? Then the next minute she drop my thermometer on to the floor and everybody was crowding around, kept buzzing across my ear to be careful not to drop it again. Then i was like mutter "its wasn't i the one who dropped it in the first place." Well, i guess rebecca heard it, and stomped off. I walked off too, wanting to be left alone with my thought. While on the bus, thinking maybe i'm a little harsh on her, so i send her a apology message. And the rely was "ok..." Which sounds like "It's ok, you're forgiven." Then the next morning i got a message from Eileen saying " Just to let you know yesterday rebecca was so disappionted in you, she cried. Cos she feel you take her totally for granted, don't respect her feelings. So if you don't treasure your friendship with her and continue the way you're treating her and you'll lose her. She can't tell you cos she accumulated too much, so if she tell you, she's afraid she'll break the ties." " Please do think through. Now its up to you to make it or break this friendship. I can only let you know how she feel." wow.. what a appetizer she got for me as a breakfast. My rely" Thanks for telling me, i'm aware and had already given send my apology to her last night" Her rely" Don't think so. She's very sad until got headache and feel like vomitting. I think she didn't sleep last night." I was fighting back with my tears on the bus after reading that message, thinking that i didn't know that it will be such a big impact on her, since yesterday she was quite ok about it. I thought at the most she would complain to Eileen about me last night but ended cried instead. When i reached work, heard she got a headache and feel abit nausea then she applied for leave and got a cad home. Thinking maybe she needs time to cool off. So i decided not to disturb her. Then in the lunch break, Eileen said she wrote a story for me, and asked me to read it. I couldn't remember what exactly what she wrote but it goes something like this "you doesn't admit it's your fault..." (m: hey, i'm perfectly aware when to say my sorry) "friendship is about give and take. Not take and take." (m: helloo... i DO give and take.) "you are getting lazier and lazier" (m: i'm NOT. just feeling abit tired for the week having working so hard and it's had been a busy week and i'm managing it alone by myself) " rebecca said you always treated her like a maid always asking her to carrying your things" (m: err, i remember using the magic words like" please", "can you help me", "thank you so much"etc) "rebecca feels that i didn't treat her imprtantly in my life" (m: tat's not true. i always told her that i appreciate the things she did for me. Eg: looking for toilet in the most unfavourable situations. "I only call her when i need her help" (m: this is way too outrageous!!! i swore i never did that! how could you accused me?) After reading it, and having think through it. i TOTALLY disagree what she wrote. But coming to the conclusion that she put it too seriously harsh and exaggerating it and what she wrote added her own thought into it. I decided to let it go. But i can't help and kept thinking about what she wrote and i just couldn't let it off. I'M ANGRY WITH HER!!!! AHHHHH!!! Can't get it off my chest. The next day, rebecca came back to work, she seems to be recovering and talked to me. But i didn't talked much cos i'm still quite bothered about Eileen's story. Its hurts. I really didn't know that's what she thought of me all this while. Before going off, i asked rebecca to read the story, and if that is really the truth, then i would not pursue the matter.. But the answer was otherwise. She too, thinks that what Eileen is not the whole truth and she added her thoughts and exaggerating it.Then she relied:" I told her about it, but she kept insisting her stand and say i didn't write down properly and so and so, then i didn't bothered to argue back. Actually i had already told her that i didn't intend to not talk to u or to start a quarrel with you." When i saw the rely, my thought were " she of course wouldn't admit it, its her pride. Too proud to admit her mistake. It's her. The one that i knew. " Then that's the end. Everything turned to normal the next week. Well, frankly speaking, at the back of my mind, i planned to comfront them some other day, when everyone of us is relaxing and can openly talk about it, to clear the misunderstood. To me, between friends, specially close friends, if there's any misunderstood or doubts, it should be cleared. Or else this matter will be kept in each other's heart and will be bought up when the next disagreement comes along. Thus, it'll deepen into the heart, and hypocrisy will resurfaces. |