Jesus Saves!|About Me|Misc.

Funny Labels

On a bag of fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.

On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot’s children’s cough medicine: Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning, may cause drowsiness

On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts

Creative Ways to Say Someone is Stupid

About as sharp as a marble.

A few clowns short of a circus.

Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

The lights are on, but nobody's home.

24 cents short of a quarter.

Top 45 Oxymorons

45. Act naturally

44. Found missing

43. Resident alien

42. Advanced BASIC

41. Genuine imitation

40. Airline Food

39. Good grief

38. Same difference

37. Almost exactly

36. Government organization

35. Sanitary landfill

34. Alone together

33. Legally drunk

32. Silent scream

31. Living dead

30. Small crowd

29. Business ethics

28. Soft rock

27. Butt head

26. Military intelligence

25. Software documentation

24. New classic

23. Sweet sorrow

22. Child Proof

21. "Now, then ..."

20. Synthetic natural gas

19. Passive aggression

18. Taped live

17. Clearly misunderstood

16. Peace force

15. Extinct life

14. Temporary tax increase

13. Computer jock

12. Plastic glasses

11. Terribly pleased

10. Computer security

9. Political science

8. Tight slacks

7. Definite maybe

6. Pretty ugly

5. Twelve-ounce pound cake

4. Diet ice cream

3. Working vacation

2. Exact estimate

...And the number 1 oxymoron is..

1. Microsoft Works

What Women Want

Funny Thoughts

xoxo