Title: Unnatural Obsessions #6: Cessation
Author: Sineya
Email: strix_vixen@hotmail.comDisclaimer: Not mine.
Rating: R (For cursing and.....well....cursing)
Summary: The end is upon them....
Category: L/R, Various POV's, angst
Author's Notes: We're almost there folks, the end of the line, the goal, the umm......final destination? Anyway, enough with my notes-- go, read!***************************************************
"No spiritual Caesars are these dead;
They want no proud paternal kingdom come;
And when at last they blunder into bed
World-wrecked, they seek only oblivion."
-Excerpt from Sylvia Plath's The Dead
***************************************************
Goddess.
He's gone.
Like so many other before him, he's gone.
He'll never return.
Never growl, never prowl, never smirk, never snicker.
He's gone.
The claws have dulled, the senses dimmed
An unearthly lucidity glows from deep within him. He stares up at you, his mouth a smooth line, his face free of wrinkles and lines.
His eyes - empty. His mind - empty.
He is gone.
Another teammate, lost to himself.
Lost.
We are broken, devoid of feeling.......like him.
Like Logan.
I once said if he left, if he was gone we wouldn't be able to handle the loss.
I was right.
In some ways this is worse than.....Marie.
She was truly dead, truly gone.
He is still here.
We can still sit and talk to him, and watch him, and touch him.
But he is not here.
He can't smile at us. He can't laugh at us. He does not see us, does not feel us.
/sigh/
We have been struck with a human disease, with such a mortal affliction.
Emotions, feelings, thoughts.
All seem a curse now, all seem a plague.
I was once gazed at with adoration, I was once idolized.
I was once considered a Goddess.
I had no true emotions then. I had no family, no brothers, no sisters to lose.
I had noone but myself.
I had no worries but my people.
I cared, I loved.
But I did not feel.
/whimper/
Yesterday I slashed off all my hair.
Stared down at the growing pile of glistening platinum.
And laughed.
Hysterically.
I was once a Goddess.
I am now a woman.
I now feel.
*****************************************************************************
Her beautiful hair.
Her beautiful, magnificent hair.
It's gone.
I used to wrap the silken strands around my body, thread the luminescent brilliance through my fingers and make love to her.
Her hair was the first thing I fell for.
It reminded me of snow, of winter, of pearls and wishes.
When my brother and I would build Frosty's, and forts, and declare war on each other.
The winner would get the steamiest, chocolatiest, marshmallowiest cup of cocoa.
I always let him win.
But that kind of innocence is gone.
My brother's are gone.
Logan is gone.
Why can't I see him?
Why is he covered in black? Why is his form murky and dark?
Is something wrong with my glasses? Has the red disappeared?
Has it been replaced with death and dementia?
Has Logan's bright, dominating aura been replaced with this shade of gloom?
/sob/
I loved her hair.
It's all gone.
Every last strand.
Every pristine, white thread.
I don't think it will ever grow back.
****************************************************************************
/pop, hiss, chug/
The 'good' doctor.
The perfect paragon of morality........a lush.
Who would've thought.
The righteous Jean Grey.
What a fucking joke.
Logan is gone.
Dead, deceased, absent, missing.
Whatever Goddamn euphemism you want to use.
He's left --sans mind, sans spirit.
And it's all my fucking fault.
I killed the only girl.....the only woman he could ever love.
I let hormones take over my body, lust take over my soul.
I cheated on my husband.
I betrayed someone I once considered a friend.
I betrayed the team.
I killed her.
I may not have slit her wrists, may not have mutilated her body.
But I placed the glass in her hands.
I planted the seeds of hatred, of envy, of loneliness.
I killed her.
And by killing her... killing Rogue... killing Marie.
I killed him.
I killed Logan.
/snap/
They have both abandoned us.
As I abandoned them so long ago.
Those night, when I swam in the sea of infidelity, the river of perfidy -- I abandoned myself.
I offer no excuses. No lies.
Just the truth.
I fucked up.
And lost my world.
It was my fault.
My fault.
MY FUCKING FAULT!
/sob/
And I can't do it... I... can't...
I... I... I can't take it anymore.
/click/
I'm sorry Charles.
I loved you the most.
/bang/
****************************************************************************
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
/crash/
NO!
/wham/
My children......my child......
GONE!
Gone. Gone. Gone.
Three.
/smash/
Fuck you Erik! Fuck you!
Fuck.....fu....
/sob/
Fuck you for leaving me first.
/whimper/
I... I... love... loved...
I loved you... all... so... much.
So.......so....much.
***************************************************************************
The hulking man sat.
*Marie*
Rocking.
Rocking in the corner.
*Marie*
Smiling.
Smiling to himself.
*Marie*
A blank mind, a blank face.
A blank soul.
*Marie*
The one they called Wolverine.
The one named Logan.
*Marie*
Staring.
Eerie, soundless stares.
*Marie*
Nothing left.
Noone here.
Nonexisting.
*Marie*
Rocking.
Always rocking.
Against the padded walls.
**************************************************************************
End Part 6