Title: She Comes In Colors
Author: Sineya
Email: strix_vixen@hotmail.comDisclaimer: Not mine. Title belongs to the Rolling Stones.
Rating: If you've seen the movie, you can read this.
Category: Scott POV
Author's Notes: This is a song-inspired fic, NOT, a songfic.
Also, feedback please.
-----------------------------Red.
My life was filled with red. Every shade you can imagine-garnet, rose, auburn, blood, brick, and so many more.
I saw in different shades of red.
Every morning, I would breathe in red air. I would dress in red clothes. I would teach red classes.
Blood was red.
Was my world covered in blood?
What colors were hate, and love?
Did emotions even come in colors?
I tried to remember the their different colors
I remembered jealousy and envy--shades of green.
Some people thought of hate and love as black and white. To me they had always been shades of grey.
I never forgot passion, passion was always red. Always a part of my life.
Jean was passion.
Jean was red.
But over the years, even the red faded. Softened, smudged. I think my eyes were tired of seeing the different shades of red. I think they wished for blues and greens.
I know they did.
So I tried--with Jean.
I told her when we were together, I did see colors. I told her they were bright and glorious. When we were making love, I told her I saw the brilliance of white, the afterglow of yellow.
I never told her I saw red.
Once, I thought I saw green. When Logan arrived. But it faded after a moment. Became red once more.
I got tired of pretending.
And Jean finally realized with her, it was always red. Never black or white, never purple or yellow.
Only red.
So she left, and I gave up the hope of ever seeing beyond my red wall.
I stopped remembering, stopped wishing.
Resigned myself to the color red.
While everyone else lives with pastels, opaques, every color possible.
I saw red.
---------------------------------
After Jean left, I was finally alone.
Everyone looked at me sadly. With pity.
They thought I was putting on a show, pretending to be okay. They didn't realize I was relieved.
Relieved I didn't have to pretend anymore.
Then I distanced myself, cut myself off from everyone.
Even the man who'd become a father to me. Who I went to for guidance, who I trusted with my life, who I loved with all my heart.
Even Charles.
Storm tried to talk to me one day, tried to ask about Jean, ask if I was okay.
I remember her saying something biting when I wouldn't answer. When I walked away. I remember hearing her say my name softly, tears in her voice.
Then I felt a hand. I thought she had run after me, trying to get me to talk.
So I shook who I thought was Storm off.
Then got picked up five feet, and slammed into a wall.
And Rogue was standing behind me.
No-
Marie was standing in front of me.
She stared at me.
With eyes so old, they hurt to look into.
Do you think you're the only one? She asked me. The only one who feels pain, the only one who's trapped?
I wondered how she knew, then I asked.
She told me. Said she had felt it before, had tried being alone and staying sane at the same time. Told me it wouldn't work.
Couldn't work.
Then she said I was lucky.
I scoffed at that.
She said I could laugh all I wanted. Told me that I might not be able to see, but I could touch. Could feel another's hand on mine. I asked her what the hells good with feeling if you can't see?
How can you feel and not see? She questioned.
How can you see and not feel? I answered.
She didn't like that question much. So she came closer, told me to stop being selfish, told me to stop pretending.
Told me to get over it.
I am over it, I defended myself. I don't miss Jean anymore. She smiled at me. It was such a sad,knowing smile--so wise for such a young face.
I'm not talking about Jean, she spoke as she stared at me.
Stop pretending you're alone in this world, she demanded.
I am alone, I whispered back. My voice was empty, as I admitted what I thought was my secret and only mine.
The Professor, she countered. Storm, all your students. She touched my arm, you are not alone.
Reaching up, she caressed my cheek, said if I didn't want them anymore, she'd always be here.
I stared through my wall of red, through layers of brick and blood, of auburn and garnet.
Into eyes that were filled with grey.
I stared into those eyes. Saw yellow, blue, green.
I saw white.
I reached up and touched her hand.
Torrents of white ran through my head. Flashes of black soon followed.
Dark and light.
Spots of purple, and clouds of green .
Every color I had once dreamed. I had once known.
I looked at her, standing their hopefully, gloved hand softly
caressing mine.And I saw a rainbow.
Blazing across her face, down her body, over our intertwined hands. I saw colors.
I saw still saw red, but it was so much deeper. So much more clear.
Then I looked into her eyes once more. They were blazing. Burning hot with such a clutter of emotions.
I saw passion.
I saw hope.
I saw love.
And it was beautiful.
It was red.
The End
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Inspirational Song Below, Courtesy of Black and Blue Homepage Music
She's A Rainbow
Rolling Stones 1967
Their Satanic Majesties RequestShe comes in colors ev'rywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhere
She comes in colorsShe comes in colors ev'rywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhereShe comes in colors
Have you seen her dressed in blue?
See the sky in front of you
And her face is lik a sail
Speck of white so fair and pale
Have you seen a lady fairer?She comes in colors ev'rywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhere
She comes in colorsHave you seen her all in gold?
Like a queen in days of old
She shoots her colors all around
Like a sunset going down
Have you seen a lady fairer?She comes in colors ev'rywhere;
She combs her hair
She's like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhere
She comes in colorsShe's like a rainbow
Coming, colors in the air
Oh, everywhere
She comes in colors