TITLE: New Arms To Hold You
AUTHOR: Peachy
EMAIL: kkeene@bradley.edu

Series: A New Spark In Life
Teaser: Logan returns and goes after the women he left behind; S/R, L/J
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama

Rogue was walking around the halls when she found herself outside Scott and Jean's room. She heard arguing so decided to come back later. She realized this was the first time she ever heard the two actually fighting. She couldn't imagine what it would be about. She wanted to talk to Scott about a few things but decided he was a bit busy with Jean. She started to leave but after the name "Logan" was roared she stayed, and ease dropped on their fight. They were arguing about Logan. Why?

"Why didn't you tell me?" Scott wanted to know.

She never hid anything from him before but now she was. She was receiving letters from Logan about his trip through Canada. She never told him. She personally didn't think it was a big deal. Scott, on the other hand, thought that with some of the letters being romantic in nature she should have told him. It was like she was cheating on him, keeping these love letters from another man while she still...still was involved with him. Scott had stumbled upon her stash of letters just yesterday and spent the night reading them while Jean and Professor were away.

He couldn't believe she'd do this to him.

She couldn't believe he'd read her private things without permission.

"So what! Logan writes me letters. He's a friend."

"Every week!" He grabs one and reads it: "'I miss your angelic face and your smile makes me whole in this God-forsaken town,' crap! For crying out loud, you get more letters then Rogue!"

He didn't like the fact this neanderthal was trying to take away his woman from thousands of miles away. The scary thing was, Scott thought Logan was winning. Scott couldn't imagine losing Jean and he wouldn't give up without a fight.

Rogue heard this. Logan had written to Jean as well? For her, his letters stopped a few months ago and she hadn't heard anything from him. She had gotten worried and scared that something might have happened, yet he was writing Jean every week. Romantic things, missing her, wishing she was there. He never wrote that in her letters.

It hurt that he didn't think of her anymore, and it hurt even worse that Jean's letters were...romantic. She knew how the guy looked at and felt about Jean; he was inside of her but it hurt that he didn't think of her. She made him her best friend and to him, she was nothing more then a kid he picked up and gave away.

Her bottom lip started to quiver. She didn't want to cry she wanted to pretend like it didn't bother her but it did. Her eyes started to burn with tears until she couldn't hold back anymore. Scott and Jean would never be apart so Rogue had thought maybe in time when he came back he'd see her as a woman, not the kid off the street. Tears started to flow now as the yelling continued.

Scott got mad at Jean for keeping these from him. She said they were personal. Pause over the argument. Jean didn't want to deal with him.

"You are jealous and you shouldn't have to be."

He retaliated, "I'm sorry to think that you shouldn't keep and receive love letters when you're engaged to another man!" (He'd asked her a month ago in April.)

She stood defiant; not budging yet scared on the inside. What was happening before her? She'd hurt Scott; guilt crept in, but also anger. He lacked faith and trust in her. What kind of a relationship is that to build on?

Rogue hated to hear them fight but was too depressed herself. She could take no more of this and ran off. She ran and ran, she didn't know where to, down the steps and through the halls. She shoved Bobby and St. John aside as she streamlined for outside. Once there she just flew to the trees, finally resting herself in a clearing, out of breath from crying and running. Logan had hurt her far more then she was going to let anyone realize.

A few moments after Rogue left, Jean stormed out of the room as well. She needed to get away, away from Scott for just a while. She took the car and went out to drive. She didn't care where.

Scott stood stunned in his room. What happened? They'd had their first major fight. He didn't mean to hurt her, but was he so wrong in thinking she should have shared these with him. She told him everything but this. Why keep these a secret? His fear was that somewhere deep down Jean wanted Logan. Wanted the type of man that he was and Scott wasn't. She loved these letters. He didn't know what to do. He was more mad at Logan for writing them but took it out on Jean. He'd have to apologize later for that.

Jean returned later on; she'd never stopped driving except for one rest area. She parked the car and sat thinking long and hard. Why did she keep those letters from him? She loved Scott. Logan was flirtatious towards her. She remembered his touch; she said it couldn't happen but could it ever? She would be lying if she hadn't dreamed of him once or twice. She then felt it then. There was something inside of her that connected with Logan that would love Logan. She didn't love Scott any less but there was a difference between the two men. She felt she needed a bit of Logan in her life, not always the Scott man. Why did life have to be so confusing?

She didn't know what to do; she was afraid of hurting Scott, Logan and herself. She'd thought she'd be okay, just as long as Logan didn't come back. The temptation wouldn't be there, the looks, the smiles, the touches. Scott was perfect, too perfect maybe. She wasn't sure what she'd do. She grew torn between the man who she loved and knew so intimately and a stranger, a rebel and wild man that Scott never was. Black and white. She drove and wondered why there was no shade of gray to choose from.

Back at the mansion at night, Jean and Scott finally talked out their dispute, both sides apologizing. She explained the best she could as to what those letters made her feel. He didn't get it. Scott never really felt...no, he did once, when he was with Rogue of all people, but just for one fleeting moment. Not for two years. It was Jean for him, so he thought. She liked Logan and it was nice to have someone else pawing after her. It made her feel special.

"I thought that's what I was supposed to do." He was stunned as a force knocked all the wind out of him -- Jean felt terrible but relationships weren't built on lies either.

"You do -- that's why I want to marry you. It's just there this wild side to Logan...it's cute. Like a high school crush but nothing there for a lasting loving relationship like we have. I don't want to lose that and I am sorry if I almost did."

He was stunned. Looking at her made all the anger melt, knowing that those tears in her eyes, he'd caused them. "I'm sorry too. For taking it all out on you when I was really mad at Logan. Will you forgive me?"

"If you me?"

They kissed each other and made amends.

Suddenly a knock came to the door. "Katherine," whispered Jean as their personal moment was interrupted. Scott let her in.

"Have you seen Rogue? I can't find her anywhere."

It was well past eleven and she should have been inside. "No."

Jean reached out and couldn't feel her at the mansion but she was out in the woods somewhere. Why? Jean was startled and worried. Rogue was blocking Jean on purpose. She didn't know why. Scott decided to go get her.

He found her in a panicked state still. She was rocking herself with her knees to her chest, still crying; most of the tears were dried up, though. It was cold but she had the cloak to keep her warm.

"Can I sit?"

She never answered and never looked at him.

Rogue was so complex for such a young girl. She'd had to deal with so much and Scott didn't think it was at all fair to her. Watching her, wanted to help ease the pain, that feeling in the pit of his stomach returned. He wanted to kill whoever had hurt her. He wanted so much to touch her like Logan and understand her from the inside. He always had to be careful in dealing with her; each situation called for a different approach. So far he'd been right every other time in dealing with her. She was unique and that intrigued him, so young yet so mature. He knew she could never be touch but wished one day she could by some man some where. She needed love.

Finally, he decided to give her tough love. "Okay, spill it."

His bluntness took Rogue by surprise and knocked her out of her daze to look at him. She didn't know what to tell him. She wanted to keep it all inside. She knew too well that the only one so far who as been able to break down her barriers was Scott. Maybe that is why he was the leader. What was she going to say now looking at him in the eyes? What, that she was in love with a guy old enough to be her father but he loved another woman, another man's fiancée, and would do anything to have her...

But she loved him. She needed him, he was her best friend and he stopped writing to her but not Jean. He'd ripped apart their friendship she cherished so much and needed. He'd forgotten about her. That hurt so badly inside to lose the one person you thought understood you and cared about you. She knew Logan liked Jean but she wanted him for herself. Being possessive here was okay for Rogue. She was just a kid, though, and that's what Logan thought. Scott and the rest too. She was so much older then her years.

To her it was more then a crush. Logan didn't understand no one did. But Logan didn't care anymore. Why hadn't Jean told her about the letters, told her where and what Logan was up to? Why keep it all a secret? She needed to know. Hearing from Logan was what kept her moving forward instead of just going over the edge to not caring. Her life wasn't anything much without him; she needed a connection somewhere. Right now she didn't care. About life, about death, about friends, nothing. What was there left? Tears flowed again in a silent river down her face.

"I can sit out here all night with you. You know I have the CD collection of the fifty most annoying songs ever recorded."

That did it -- he got a smile out of her and a laugh. He nudged her for a reply and she grew serious again. He would sit out here all night and not let her leave. Scott had always been there before and she entrusted so much in him. She felt this would be okay. She hoped.

"I...I overheard you and Jean arguing today."

"And..." He knew that couldn't have bothered her. She didn't have to answer -- he realized right after the words were out of his mouth. "The letters."

She nodded. "He sent them to her and stopped writing to me. She gets one almost every other week; I barely got one once a month." She just exploded. "I thought...I thought he was my best friend. I miss him so much and he doesn't care about me enough to write. I guess I learned I'm not as important to him as he is to me. It hurts to find out you so-called best friend doesn't care."

She took off the dog tags and put them in her pocket. She wasn't going to wear these. They belonged to a liar and someone who'd abandoned her.

Logan was a bastard, Scott thought. He wanted to blast him for her. Logan didn't understand what he was doing to this poor girl; no one but himself really talked to Rogue that much. The look of loveliness and loss filled her eyes. It was like she'd died on the inside.

Rogue engulfed herself in his arms. Scott had been the only other person that seemed to really care about her and want to help her. That's why she let him into her shell.

"I'm sure he does care." Scott gave her a brotherly hug. "I just...do you want honesty?"

"Can't get much worse so go ahead -- tell me how immature and childish I am in believing in things I can't have."

"No, no! That's not it. Hope and faith is what makes a person. Don't ever give up that. You can have love, a greater love then most other people in a connection with a special person. No one else can. Love is more then physical; it is ninety-nice percent emotional. As for Logan, he is...well, a very, complex guy, as you know by the thoughts of his in that head of yours...but... I don't think you'll ever be the woman to him but only the friend. He let you down."

That did it -- those words re-ignited tears in Rogue. She knew it was true, but a small piece rebelled and took it as a lie. "I hate 'im!" she shouted. "I hate 'im...I...I need 'im!" Scott could never understand the connection she had with him. She felt like she really needed him or she would go crazy, if she wasn't already there.

"I don't know when or if he's coming back. I know you probably think I don't understand being with just one woman my life and never having the connection you feel with Logan. but love is love. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. There's always a reason. Sometimes it is one sided but that doesn't mean you have to stop loving them. You'll find your match one day. He may be closer then you think. For now, if you need anything, you've got me, Marie."

"Thank you." She whispered almost too silently. Marie...hardly any one called her that. She liked it. He was probably the only one she'd let call her that. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For hating Jean."

"Why?" He didn't expect that.

"I'm jealous. She's perfect. Logan likes her; she's pretty and smart. I'm just..." She cried.

"You have nothing to be jealous about. Every guy in school is always dying to ask you out. They're just afraid you'll say no." It was sweet of him to say but she knew the real reason. Her skin. She hated it; she wanted to rip it all off.

They sat for a bit and Rogue started off in the woods. A place of shelter and danger mixed. She liked it out here.

"Come on, let's get to bed. Class tomorrow and you'll need to be wide awake."

She let herself be guided by his arms. As they walked back he tried to make her smile and take her mind off of the wolf man. "Promise to keep a secret?"

"What?"

"Jean's giving you a pop quiz in the afternoon, so study." He smiled and she did too.

"Thanks for the 411."

They walked back to school sometime around one. Jean wanted to know what was wrong with her.

"Do you always assume something is deadly wrong when it comes to Rogue? She's a normal human with normal problems sometimes to work out. Not always an emergency."

Jean wasn't too thrilled at that response and gave Scott an evil look.

"Don't worry, it was nothing I couldn't handle." And he left it at that. She was still not pleased with Scott but kissed him good night as a wedge was brought between them for the first time. Their relationship after their fight had changed. Both feeling doubts: Scott in Jean's love for him and Jean in her own love for Scott.

It scared them both.

Rogue wanted to be bitter at Jean but she found it too hard. Jean was so nice. Rogue just didn't understand why she didn't tell her what Logan was up to or where he was. Now she didn't care anymore. Having the tags gone she felt naked, but refused to wear them. Just a piece of junk. Others noticed but didn't say anything.

The next few weeks Jean didn't get another letter and got worried herself. What could have happened? Finally about a month later Logan came back. Jean felt him approaching and drove her emotions into panic mode. Jean was worried now. She was scared for herself not knowing what she would do.

Maybe...no.

She drove thoughts from her head. She wondered how Scott would take him being back, most likely not well; he'd be in a jealous mode 24/7.

Maybe he should be... No, stop this.

Jean was battling with conflicting thoughts an emotion. It was so hard to deal with. What about Rogue? She would be excited about it. She didn't know what to do but found herself fixing up her hair and dressing nicer that day. Scott was witness to this and didn't know what to think of her behavior.

Until later, when he ran into Logan.

Logan came back and Jean opened the door for him before he could knock. He was stunned. She was every bit as gorgeous as he remembered, even more so. Jean couldn't believe her stomach was doing flip-flops over this guy. How old was she, sixteen? He looked very handsome, not changed a bit.

"Welcome back," Jean said. She tried to seem distant and cold but was failing miserably.

"I was hoping for a bit warmer reception." Logan grinned.

"Come in. The professor wants to see you."

"Doesn't surprise me."

They walked down the hall, Jean refusing to look at him; too afraid she'd lose all control. What was happening to her?

From the back Logan looked her up and down. She could feel his eyes on her and hear his projected thoughts. He was doing it on purpose but she loved every minute of it.

Finally Logan met with Xavier and they talk about his findings and how not much was uncovered. The Professor welcomed him back and allowed him to stay here if he wished. They'd need his help in the future. Logan had to think it over. Afterwards Logan left with Jean to show him to his room. He finally cornered her with the door shut.

"Come on -- you can't honestly tell me you haven't thought of me at least once over these two years."

She could feel her body crave his. Being so close, feel him, his body heat. Her mind was racing. She wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. She didn't want to answer that question; she just stared off until Logan drew her face to look at his.

He whispered closely, "Thought so. I know I couldn't stop thinking about you." He reached out and grabbed her hand, massaging it in his own. They were strong hands and powerful, Jean noted, yet soft. He kissed her hand and noticed the ring. "So old Laser-Eye finally asked you. You say yes?"

"Yes." She could barely get those words from her mouth. She began shaking and losing all ability to concentrate. She hadn't felt this way in so long. Never with Scott.

"It's not permanent, you know." He moved in closer, their bodies touching as Jean was pinned against the wall. She couldn't move, she didn't want to. Her heart was beating so fast she knew he could hear it.

He did. He loved having this effect on her. She did care. He had been right. No one like Scott deserved this woman; she deserved better. Him. Not that he was a saint but he could protect her and love her in ways Cyclops couldn't even imagine. She was imagining them, though; she thought about them.

"I'll make a confession. No one's moved me like you have... I came back...for you." He placed his hand on her face; she didn't shove it away. He kissed her, passionately. She didn't pull away; she accepted it, longed so many nights for it. It was wonderful. She wanted this man...no, Scott. She loved...

He kissed her and all thoughts melted. He loved the taste of her lips and her body next to his. They were made to fit together. Jean noticed his kiss was not soft but animalistic and drove her to insanity. It surged a desire with in her never felt before but love it. Finally she broke it off as Scott again appeared in her head.

"We..." She looked at him and his eyes. She could drown in them. She couldn't finish the sentence and left the room. Logan now knew she felt like he did. Now he had to make her express it.

Scott heard from Storm that Logan was back. He wanted to find him and kick his ass in so many ways. Blast him right out of the mansion. Instead of Scott finding Logan, Logan found him.

"Don't change, do you One-Eye."

Scott turned, surprisingly composed, to find Logan. He hadn't changed. Scott locked his jaw and stood stern. He didn't greet Logan but stared.

"Nice to see you too." Logan knew Scott would never like him; he was trying to steal away his fiancée, for crying out loud.

Scott didn't move. He finally said, "Why are you here?"

Logan thought for a moment. "To fix things."

Scott wanted Logan to leave because of Jean but wanted him to stay for Rogue. Logan could even be a valuable member of this team but he would have to change a bit...not likely. "I think you should leave now."

"Xavier says different."

"I don't care."

"I'm staying." He decided right then and there, just to spite Scott.

"If you do, stay away from Jean."

"If she wants to see me, it's a free country."

"Stay away...while you're at it, stay away from Rogue too."

He moved in to challenge Scott. "You don't dictate my life, asshole."

Scott lost his cool. "You hurt anyone, you deal with me!"

"Like I care."

Logan tried to move on but Scott stepped in front of him. "I mean it."

Scott walked away and Logan ignored the man. He was just hot air and Logan could whip his ass in a second. He went out to vent some frustration on the foliage and then find Rogue.

He came back about two hours later and found her in her room. Katherine was out and she was on her bed doing homework. He didn't really know what to say to her.

"Hey kid." That was good.

She looked up in shock to actually see his physical self. She didn't know what to do. She gave a smile, though. It hurt but it was good to see him. "I heard you were back."

"How've you been here? Is it what you want?"

"Yeah, I like it here." He pulled up a chair next to her bed and got a big hug. They chatted about this and that over the past two years in their lives. Rogue was saddened that he'd never found what he was looking for. He'd had a drive for so long and now apparently it was gone; something new had taken over.

"Here." Rogue went to her drawer and brought out the tags.

Logan took them. "Thanks for holding on to them. But you keep them. That way I always know where they are. You were the link that brought my past with my future here. It's only fitting they go together."

It was a hard meeting between the two. After two years to just come back, there was so much to say you never know where to start. Logan finally left Rogue to finish her homework. He was glad to see her okay. She was here and safe. He wasn't sure if it was the place for him but Jean would be the deciding factor.

Jean met with Scott that night and she felt so guilty. She couldn't hide it; he'd know something. Relationships were based on trust, she wouldn't ever break that. Never lie. She decided to tell him. Easy --"I let him kiss me and I enjoyed it." He would not be okay with this. She wasn't either.

Scott snuck in and nuzzled behind her. It felt so warm and comforting. He whispered that he loved her and tears flew. What kind of a woman was she? It made it so much harder for the truth to come out. Good thing Logan was talking to Rogue; Scott wouldn't kill him in front of her.

"Scott, please."

He wondered what was wrong as she pushed his hands away gently and turned to face him with her tears. "What's wrong?"

He knew that look in her eyes; it was not good. He might not want the answer to that question. He could take it -- he loved her.

"I...I...kissed him."

Scott was stunned. She had thoughts, sure, but deeds were another matter. Anger swelled in him, not towards Jean but Logan. Damn him!

Jean could read his thoughts. "No, Scott, I let him. I wanted it. Don't blame him please, blame me."

Scott didn't know what to do. She was in tears -- he wanted to wrap her up and tell her it was okay but the pain of losing her was too much as well. He remained frozen.

"Are you, " his voice came back. "Are you having second thoughts?" She'd only known this guy really for two months, not including the two years of letters, and she'd kissed him. It destroyed what they had been working on for years.

Jean was tearing herself apart inside. She wanted Scott to be mad, enraged with her, but he wasn't. She wanted him to yell at her, to tell her she was wrong, evil, stupid, anything. She wanted to be punished for this.

She could only stutter a "I don't know."

She didn't say no.

"I would interpret that as having second thoughts. So I'd say yes."

"Scott..."

"Jean, I love you. You are my world but I want you to be happy. I want what's best for you even..." this was the toughest thing he'd ever had to say "...even if it's not me."

She'd caused him to say that. She hurt worse then anyone else could have. What was happening? Did she want to lose this man? When she was with Scott it was all him -- she loved him. But when Logan came into the picture or when she was with him alone, she couldn't stop herself with him. Scott left her mind most of the time. She was so confused.

Scott continued talking. "I'll put that ring on hold until you know with all your heart it's me, or not. I'll give you as long as you want to figure that out."

He kissed her check, grabbed a pillow and blanket, and left to go sleep on the couch in the living room. He was so emotionally confused and drained. He couldn't believe his own ears as he was saying those words. Anger boiled towards Logan and himself. He could never be mad at Jean for anything.

Later on that night Logan couldn't sleep and walked around a bit. He ran into Scott in the living room, who was also having trouble sleeping.

"Sorry, didn't realize you were in here."

"No thanks to you."

"I'm not in the mood, Bug-Eye."

Scott gets up to face him. "I am."

Rogue woke up from a fresh Logan nightmare. He was back and his dreams flooded her mind again. She needed something to calm her down. She went for a walk and to the kitchen for ice cream.

Scott lost control and decked Logan. It hurt Scott more then Logan due to the metal in his head, but it felt good. Rogue was there and saw it; she quickly slid back not to be seen she listened in on what was going on. She was getting too good at this.

Surprisingly, Logan didn't retaliate. He deserved it, he knew. But he'd be damned if he didn't try to see if the one woman who made him forget about his past from slipping by. He had fifteen years of crap and now there was just one redheaded fire that now burned within him. He could understand Scott's hatred for him. He was trying to steal his fiancée. Logan would be pissed off too. "Feel better, prick?"

"No, why? Why did you have to come back and try...and try and take away the one good thing I ever had in my life? You kissed her." His voice was shaky.

Rogue heard: he'd kissed her. Scott was so right in everything. She was the kid, and he didn't come back for her like he promised, he came back for himself and Jean. Her heart burned and it physically hurt so badly as she started to cry. She was quiet so as not to heard but it was hard.

Scott kept going after him. "You just hurt people; Jean, myself, Rogue, everyone."

Rogue wasn't sure Scott should have said that totally. Logan had hurt her but she could never hurt him, never wanted to ever hurt him; she couldn't be mad even if it hurt.

"I'd never hurt Jean or Rogue. You are another story." Logan took a step forward, his claws itching to shred Scott to pieces.

"You don't mean to but you do and don't see it. You don't think before you act. You come back thinking it's okay to grab Jean and go off again, right? A part of her is with me and will always be. That part is now struggling between you and me now and it is ripping her on the inside. I feel it too. We're connected, you know. She does like you, a lot, if that's what you want to hear. All I ask is that you leave her alone to figure this out for herself, not pressure her into anything. She needs space right now. As for Rogue, you don't see it, do you?"

Rogue went into panic mode. No! Scott, please don't tell him, don't tell him! she begged silently to herself.

Logan looked confused. "See what?"

"You have to figure that out for yourself." Logan shrugged it off. "Get out. I want to sleep."

Logan left, giving Scott the finger. "Fuck off, Papa Smurf."

Scott went for his glasses but knew better and put his hand back down. Now he really couldn't sleep.

Rogue ran quietly down the back way to the kitchen so as not to be seen. She found her ice cream and devoured it with tears. She was surprised when Logan came in behind her.

"Can't sleep, kid?"

She tried to hide her tears but her red face and wet eyes bore witness. "No," she said.

He tried to ignore her emotional problem because he was dealing with one of his own right now. Any advice or listening wouldn't do any good. "Can I share?" Logan eyed the big ice cream tub Rogue was diving into.

"Sure," was all she said.

Finally, the tears, sniffling, and crying...he had to ask, "You okay?"

Stupid! No, she wasn't. She didn't reply. Then she said "Yes" but she was still breaking apart.

"Want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No."

Finally, after a few minutes of silence, she caved. "Why did you come back?"

"Well, I wasn't finding much that could help me."

She knew that was not the real answer and he was lying to her. She never thought he'd do that to her either. Guess she'd pegged him all wrong. "Why did you come back?"

"I just said..."

Rogue interrupted with a bit more force: "No, why did you come back and don't lie to me!"

He was taken aback by her forcefulness and persistence, so he answered, "I wanted to see if something would work out or not, and I couldn't keep going until I knew."

"You love her."

Logan was a bit surprised she knew but then realized she had his thoughts in her head. Can't hide much. "I don't know. I think so."

"A lot of broken hearts for an 'I think so.'" She stopped eating, losing her appetite. More silence. "Why did you stop writing?"

"Road got hard, didn't have the time."

"Why did you stop writing?" she repeated.

"Listen, we can finish this tomorrow..."

"No! Why did you stop writing? Are you afraid to answer that question?"

"What is this?" He didn't have to answer to her.

"Too lazy to write, huh? Not too lazy to write Jean."

"So you're mad because I wrote her too. Listen, kid..."

"Stop it! First of all, I am not a kid -- and second, you were my best friend. You were the only person to know and understand me and I felt connected to you because you were in my head. I knew you and I thought you knew me. You stopped writing to me. My friend stopped caring enough to never tell me where he was what he was doing. I spent long nights worrying and caring about you. Now I see it was so many wasted hours."

She ran out of the kitchen before he could respond to her. She ran back to the living room and then into the game room. She wanted to be alone. Scott saw her and came over and wrapped his arms around her. She just kept saying "it hurts, it hurts" while pointing to her heart. He held her in his arms rocking her until she fell asleep.

Logan would pay dearly for this.

A week went by and tensions were high around the mansion. Everyone knew Jean and Scott were on hold and Logan was somehow involved. Rogue was distant as well; ignoring everyone, it seemed, never wanting to do anything no matter how hard her friends tried. Slowly, everything fell into new places.

Logan cornered Jean one day; she tried to run but it was no use. "We need to talk," he told her.

They slipped into an empty room. Jean leaned up against a desk and Logan stood in front of her. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry. I've done a lot of damage coming back here but I just needed to know."

"Know what?"

"How you felt about me. Apparently I was wrong. I messed things up now and I'm sorry for that."

"You didn't mess anything up -- I did."

"Well, there's nothing for me to stay around for now. Just thought you should be the first to know I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I can't stay here."

"But I..."

He turned around to face her. "You what?"

"I think I need you."

"You think? Someone told me there's a lot of broken hearts when you think. I first just 'thought,' too, but then I knew, for a fact. I'd never fall in love with anyone but you. So do you think or do you know? It ain't fair to others if you change your mind later."

The battle was too much. She knew her life was safe with Scott; she'd loved it for so long the magic died, though. Love and care were with him but this need, so unexplainable, ended all that.

"I need you," she said. No turning back.

He ran up to her and kissed her. It was ecstasy running through her and he was just kissing her. She never could turn back, and now she didn't ever want to.

"What about Scott?" she asked.

"He deserves the truth, don't you think...from the one he loves as well. I better be far away to avoid any damage."

Jean wanted to laugh but she hated the idea that Scott was going to be hurt. "Okay." She'd tell him tonight.

They left the room, eyes locked, then headed separate directions. Logan to find Rogue and Jean to find Scott.

Logan found Rogue sitting under a tree reading. She was so far away from everyone else; he understood why and realized telling her that he never loved her the way she did him was going to hurt. He just hoped she wouldn't do anything too drastic about it. She was his friend and he didn't want that to end. Had to explain this. It wasn't going to be easy.

"So, you gonna avoid me forever?"

"I can try." She gathered up her things to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me, Marie."

"Why? You did to me."

He deserved that.

"You understand me kid...Marie. I need a friend who does. Please don't tell me I've lost her. I'm sorry for runnin' I had things to do."

"I know; you don't have to explain. I just...you were the only one who understood me, and to not have you here when things happened...I felt sort of alone. Scott was there but he still didn't know me like you."

He hugged her and told her he might not feel the same way towards her as he did towards Jean but he still loved her and needed her. She cried for joy. She wanted his friendship if that was what he'd offer.

They spent the rest of the day by the tree talking and sharing about the lives they missed out on. Rogue felt better at peace within herself once more.

Jean went into the garage and found Scott fixing the bike had Logan brought back damaged.

"Scott."

Clank!

"Ow!"

"Sorry!"

She ran to his side and helped him out. She wiped the blood from his head and saw that it would be okay. "Sorry to startle you like that."

"It's okay." He smiled at her. They hadn't smiled in a long time but both did just then.

"Can we talk?"

"I don't know. I may not get as much work on my bike done afterwards." That was how he took out his emotions: mechanics.

"Scott, you've been my best friend for so long, I never thought of anything else. I still always want you as my best friend, you know me like no one else can...but to go beyond that, something's changed. I can't explain it but I just feel it."

Scott knew what was coming. It was a knife to his heart but for some reason he understood. He loved her and wanted her to be happy. She was right. He knew her unlike anyone else could. She knew him as well. They'd never lose that. "I know. I know what you mean and I know what you're going to say. I won't lie, it hurts but..." He stared at her eyes -- they were at peace. She hadn't had that for a while, he realized. "I'm glad you found what you wanted. Now I just have to find something new."

"I think it will be easier than you think."

She handed back the ring and he took it in his greasy palm. They hugged and ended it at that: friends, close friends, but never again lovers.

"I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be
I say all the right things at exactly the right time
I mean nothing to you and I don't know why."
-- Vertical Horizon