Title : Hope
Author: Sarita
Email: s.riley@southampton.gov.ukDisclaimer: None of the characters are mine. The world is not mine. They belong to the people who created them and no copyright infringement is intended. I'm just borrowing them for a while. (God that's the hardest thing I've ever had to say.)
Rating: This part is pretty much PG, but it does deal with the aftermath of suicide and the occasional swear word may slip in. I've warned you so I don't feel obliged to alter the rating if I get carried away while writing.
Feedback is definitely appreciated. Any constructive criticism of what I'm putting the characters through would also be welcomed (ideas, suggestions, technical errors).
Archive :List archive, power of Cyclops if wanted and anyone else I've already said yes to for any of my stories. Newbies are welcome but please ask and let me know where its going (`cos it's a good way of finding new sites for me to visit!).Notes : This is a "sequel" of sorts to 'Beginnings', in that it will (hopefully) form part of an ongoing series. It will not make much sense unless you have read 'Beginnings'. This part is essentially nothing more than an extended conversation between Scott and Charles following some pretty traumatic events. It's movieverse and deals with Scott's arrival in Westchester.
-----------------------------Charles sat in the darkened room, waiting. The figure on the bed hadn't stirred since his arrival that morning. Hank had announced that he would make a full recovery before disappearing into his lab, eager to leave the first few tentative steps following the boys' awakening to Charles himself. A full recovery in body at least Charles chided himself. His mental state upon awakening occupied his thoughts now. They had done all they could for the body - now the mind must be saved from the oblivion it mistakenly sought. Three weeks of waiting, patiently searching, seemed forever ago here in this room. He watched the rise and fall of the boys chest and listened intently to the slumbering mind for signs of waking. His eyes were drawn to the bandage on his arm. Thank god he only managed the one cut for that had done damage enough. Hanks' emergency treatment at the scene had been supplemented upon his return to Westchester with a more cosmetic repair to the damaged flesh. Tendon and muscle had miraculously escaped permanent harm. The boy would always bear some faints scars from his ordeal though. If he chose to live that is.
Charles would not, could not, impose that choice upon his guest. Hank had argued fiercely with him on that point. Wanted Charles to use his gift to prevent the boy attempting to repeat the harm he had done, to impose some kind of mental command or wash away the pain that had driven him to his actions in the first place. It could be done of course but he would not. What good would that do. If the boy ever found out what he had done he would never be forgiven, trusted.
And what would that actually solve. He had the survived the crucible of his early years and he had the right to see what kind of man was forged from that trial. Some good had to come of the pain he had endured for surely it must make him stronger, more understanding. In any event he must be allowed to choose in something this fundamental. Life or death was not Charles' to give or take.
Since the boy had arrived he had been in constant contact with his mind. Not intrusive but like a gentle wave lapping over the surface thoughts and emotions still present even under sedation. He knew, without trying to probe deeply, that the boy was a deeply private individual, guarded in his emotions. Given the life he had even before his mutation became apparent it was not surprising to find such an emotional shield. Interference or intrusion would not be appreciated however he may justify it as in the boys best interests.
The images and thoughts floating randomly about the surface were enough for now. They formed a complex jigsaw puzzle that gave Charles a working picture of who the boy was, what drove him and what potential lay within. That potential was the key. Despite the circumstances of his arrival, despite Charles own feelings of guilt at not having been able to be there for the boy from the onset of his mutation, he felt joy. Here was a mind that was truly worth saving.
Beneath the pain and the desperation that the boy now felt, beneath the fear and uncertainty about his future, was a core of strength and compassion. If Charles could just draw on the strength within the boy that fed his endurance and show him that he still had choices left to him there was hope for his salvation.
***********
Sensation crept in like a slow tide. Scott's' mind groped at it, tried to understand why he felt like he was trying to breath through mud and then with sudden clarity his awareness returned. He lay very still, heart beating fast in his chest as his survival instincts kicked in and overrode conscious thought. He felt the soft bed beneath his back and strained to pick out anything in the silence. Too quiet to be a hospital he knew. There was always background noise in those places. *Where the hell am I?* He wasn't alone. He could hear the quiet steady breathing of another person in the room with him. Scott lay still for a moment longer gathering his perceptions and memories to him like a blanket. What was the last thing he remembered ? Oh yeah...* Shit, well that didn't work like it was supposed to. * Followed swiftly by * Then again if I'd set myself on fire it'd probably have rained! * The soft chuckle that followed that thought startled and unnerved him.
"If it's any consolation you would have succeeded had we not already been looking for you. You did yourself a great deal of harm with that pocket knife."
"Well I was a boy scout y'know," he responded automatically, his voice sounding tired and croaky even to himself. He was a little surprised his voice even worked. His mouth felt like the inside of a cereal packet when only the dusty residue was left in the bottom. Scott's' mind suddenly caught up to itself. * I didn't say that stuff out loud did I? *
" No Scott, you didn't."
"Telepathy, you're reading my mind," he accused without heat.
"Yes - and no." Charles considered the boy carefully. "I am a mutant, like you, though my gift is in the mind rather than the eyes. I'm not actually reading your mind right now though. I like to think that I can respect someone's privacy where possible. I am hearing some of your more prominent thoughts - you are projecting rather loudly at the moment." Scott could hear the wince accompanying the words.
"Sorry," Scott muttered, not really meaning it.
"You are a little emotional at the moment. Together with the after effects of the sedation you've been under its quite natural, a projection of your anxiety."
"Emotional," Scott laughed bitterly. " Imagine that. Where am I?"
"You are in my home, in Westchester New York. My name is Professor Charles Xavier."
Scott's' next question was barely a whisper. "Why ?"
"I hope that I may be able to help you with your more unusual abilities and you may in turn be able to help me."
Scott considered the mans words carefully. The guy wanted something from him. People always did. It didn't bother him that much, after all nothing came free in this life. He just wasn't sure he wanted to play this game any more. "I'm not going to be here that long."
Charles heard the suspicion in the boys voice. He realised that his offer to help had probably been perceived as misleading given the last experience with a stranger he had to draw on. This had to be tackled head on - no going back now. "Because you are going to leave or because you are going to kill yourself?" He didn't insult the boy by saying `try' to kill yourself.
"Both."
Blunt enough. "I see." "You're not going to stop me," Scott stated firmly.
"I would not presume to decide your fate for you, Scott. I'd consider your actions a waste but I cannot in good conscience deny you your right to live your life as you wish." That got Scott's attention.
"Then why did you stop me before?" he asked angrily lifting his bandaged arm for emphasis.
"Because you did not choose on that occasion Scott. You did what you did out of desperation and a feeling that you had no choice. I want to show you that there are alternatives and that you have a future if you have the courage to take it. If you still decide you want no part of that future then do as you will, but at least give me the time to show you what you would be missing. What have you got to lose ?"
They sat in silence for a long while.
"The guy in the motel..." Scott's' voice trailed of quietly.
"Will live. For as long as it takes for him to receive the death penalty." At Scott's' startled expression he continued, "He abused and murdered several young men. I arranged for the police to investigate some of his land holdings. They will find all the evidence they need there of his past activities. You acted in self defence Scott. I appreciate that may be little comfort to you but consider.. if you had not acted as you did you would be among those poor souls he destroyed and he would have continued. You would not have been his last victim."
"Yay, me the hero, " Scott muttered without conviction.
Charles did not miss the sense of relief that underlay the sarcasm. He had not killed and that meant a great deal to him. Scott's' next words were expected if not welcomed. This would be the most difficult part of the process.
"Which brings me round to why the hell should I trust you any more than him ? If you're the all knowing telepath you'll understand where I'm coming from here."
"I understand, but I have no answer for you Scott. I can't give you trust it will have to come from within yourself. All I can do is ask you to once again take that risk, despite all you have already been through, and then judge me by my actions." The long silence that followed his soft words was painful. Charles was truly at a loss as to what more he could say that would not sound like an empty promise. "Would it help if you could see where you are?"
Scott smirked. "Not really. If I `saw' where I was I can pretty much guarantee it wouldn't be there any more!" Xavier didn't miss the pain in the boys' voice.
"I can show you this place through my minds' eye Scott. As for your inability to see, that is something I sincerely hope we can remedy. I can make you no more promises than I have already offered, but I assure you that Hank and I will use everything in our power to work on finding a way for you to open your eyes again."
"You can cure me, I'd actually be able to see again?" In his excitement Scott shot bolt upright in bed. A wave of dizziness and nausea drove him back down, panting.
"You're still very weak Scott, please don't over exert yourself." Xavier wheeled closer and poured a glass of water which he tried to press into Scott's' hand. "Drink this slowly, " he cautioned.
Scott pushed the glass away urgently. " CAN . YOU . CURE . ME!" he almost shouted.
"No Scott, I can't." Charles was startled by the weariness he heard even in his own voice. Scott slumped despondently and plucked listlessly at the bed covers. "Your mutation is not an illness, it is a part of you. A gift that you may be able to learn to control. I want to help you find a way to control it so that you no longer feel you are a danger to others and still allow you to see again. I'm not saying it will be easy or even guaranteeing it will be successful, but surely that is better than giving up without trying."
"Do you think you can, find a way to control it, I mean?" Scott's' voice sounded desperate, needy in its quiet intensity.
"I do, Scott. I really do. But I will need certain promises from you if we are to try this."
"What kind of promises?" the suspicion was back full force.
Charles smiled in spite of himself. His suspicion aside, the boy was still willing to listen. He had been right about him. Give him choices, hope that he had a future without hurting others and he was prepared to take that step even now. They still had a long way to go in establishing any kind of trust or bond between them but Charles was confident it would come. He was already beginning to feel a deep affection for the boy. "This may sound a little silly Scott but I'd like your word that you won't try to hurt yourself again without speaking to either Hank or myself first. It doesn't matter what time it is or what we are doing, I want you to talk to us."
"Who is Hank anyway?"
"A good friend of mine, a doctor and a fellow mutant. He's the man who treated you and brought you here. Now, are you done changing the subject, may I have your word ?"
"You won't try to talk me out of anything ?"
Xavier snorted. "Well of course I will. I promise you that I will not lie to you Scott, nor will I sugar-coat the truth. I will respect your intelligence and freedom of choice but please don't expect me not to at least try to talk you out of something if I feel you are not considering all your options wisely."
"Sounds reasonable enough in theory I suppose. Okay I can do that. What else ?"
"You will resume your schooling here in the fall when the new school year commences."
"Here ?"
" This is a school, or at least it will be by then. You are the first student as such but I am looking for others just as I was looking for you. You will be able to study a normal curriculum as well as learn to control your less mainstream abilities. I hope to equip you to better deal with the outside world and make informed choices about what you want to do as an adult. As Hank and I are the only teachers at the moment your initial classes will be somewhat small in size, but I can assure you that the homework will be just as demanding as you will find anywhere else!"
Anything else?" Scott asked sourly.
"I will need your help if we are to seek a way to control your power. We will need to build a medical database on your abilities and map the extent of your power into a useable profile. Henry , as our doctor, will conduct most of the tests with my assistance. "
"So you want to stick me full of needles and basically do the lab rat thing. Do I get a little wheel to run around in ?" The bitterness was back.
" I think Henry has had more than enough of your blood Scott so I do not foresee a vast array of needles in your future. I was referring more to x-rays and cat scans and monitoring your body chemistry. That can all be done quite painlessly. I think you've had enough pain already, don't you ?" he added gently.
Charles waited patiently while Scott considered all that he had learned. The boys brows knitted together as he frowned.
"This Hank - will I like him ?"
"I don't know Scott. He seems to share your somewhat 'depreciating' sense of humour. I like him." He risked a quick glimpse of the boys thoughts. There was still some resistance to the idea there, he didn't really dare to believe that he could begin to belong here. There was a certain longing to trust Xavier tempered by bitter experience. * This boy needs a home * he thought sadly. "Would you like me to show you this place now ?" he asked calmly.
Scott shook his head and for a moment Charles feared he had somehow misread Scott's decision. "I think I'd rather wait and see what it's like with my own eyes."
"I understand." His voice full of warmth he told Scott to rest, that they would begin looking for answers together in the morning if he felt up to some very minor tests. When he offered to stay Scott told him rather bluntly that he had given his word not to do anything so not to stand guard over him. As he wheeled to the door Charles felt the tension that had run through his body for the best part of the last month ease. Scott was with them now. Their work was only just beginning but now there was something that hadn't been given tangible form for the future. Hope. So small a word with such a powerful meaning. He turned back toward Scott. " Can I get you anything before I leave ?"
Scott hesitated, obviously wanting something but not sure how to ask. "Which way to the bathroom?" he asked at last.
"There is a door behind you to your left. Try not to wander about too much though, you do need to rest. Anything else?"
"The Kitchen?"
Charles chuckled as he pulled the door closed behind him. For all the problems Scott had faced and would face again in the future some things held true whatever the situation. Teenagers.
TBC...