Title: Hand in Hand
Author:PeachyTeaser: Scott and Rogue decided to move forward in their lives together
Rating: PG-13
Genre: drama
-----------------------------The feeling of peace eroded as the two watched their opposites float away even further. It was not as easy as they first thought it would be.
Scott couldn't get over it; he had a new room. He never realized how much he missed her and all the little things that made her special, her warmth at night, cold feet under the covers, morning smiles and her simple breathing that lulls him to sleep at night. Now his room is cold, quiet and alone. Sleep was a lot harder with out Jean.
Rogue felt like an outsider. Sure Logan and her would still be friends but he never talked to her. She always had to seek him out. And when she did, he was always with Jean. She felt like she'd be interrupting something and it'd be rude. When they did finally get together to talk she couldn't remember what to say to him. Just seemed like meaningless conversation, not what real friends would talk about only acquaintances. They would never have much time either, like ten minutes here and there.
No deep conversation can happen in ten minutes. Also due to habit he kept calling her kid, a bit annoying. But that's how he'll always see her. She missed his arms around her holding her close, protecting her. He told her he'd always keep that promise no matter what. She needed him now, to talk to at least. She wanted her friend without having to worry about being a burden.
Rogue and Scott had to endure Logan and Jean's glances, hands holding, touching, kisses that they thought where hidden, talking and laughing. They got along so well for being polar opposites. You could see love in their eyes. It was beautiful.
Rogue didn't understand love. She didn't know how after caring about someone for so long you can care that deeply about anyone else. Was it just a crush, if so, she couldn't imagine how much love would hurt. She felt for Scott, he had loved and loss more then herself. Love was something she truly knew little about but only dreamed of. She didn't know how Scott would do it or herself. They didn't know where to start anew.
Scott thought Rogue was young, beautiful and had her whole life ahead of her. She'd pick herself up and get another crush real quick.
Rogue thought Scott was doing so well. He was devilishly handsome, smart and would easily find another woman. He was normal, well more so then her. He could touch people. Kind of hard on a date not to. Sure he had the shades but they even made him look better.
She considered herself more of a freak and everyone would avoid her. He was handling this so well or just better at not letting it show. She tried to be like him and not let it show on the outside. She wouldn't let them see her cry.
School didn't work so well for Scott after a while. Students gave him pity looks and whispers. It made classes tough if not for one pair of eyes who didn't constantly feel sorry for him or whisper about him but understood him - Rogue.
She heard the whispers too.
She got mad at them for talking about Scott behind his back. He was hurt and didn't need anyone reminding him of even more.
They even started in on her too a bit. The younger students would point and whisper, "there goes Rogue's love crush. Knew it wouldn't work. She's so twisted to want someone old enough to be her father. How disgusting!" They talked about Rogue and her age difference with Logan.
One even rubbed in an idea that Rogue never thought about. They said Logan was the only guy ever to touch her and be able to get up the next day. He ain't gonna touch her now so she's got no hope. That stung, deep. Scott heard the two kids say this. He saw Rogue run off to shed her tears in private to let no one know her pain.
She wouldn't admit to anyone how bad she'd fallen even though she got by everyday with a smile but inside it was bad. Scott knew and understood. He went to talk to her again. He found her pretending to read a book on the windowsill in the library, one of her private spots. She tears falling.
She didn't want to talk and he knew that somehow. He knew her and talk to her about his own problems, the whispers and looks that everyone gave him due to the relationship news. He felt 100 times worse. He said kids will be kids and they'll find something new to gossip about later.
Needed to get out so invited her along. She didn't say a word but nodded. They went to grab Scott's bike, she loved it. Loved riding with him on it. Holding on, two bodies close. She loved the feel of warmth as her hands wrapped around his waist to secure herself on the bike. She could touch him, cloth for protection but it was comfort. She felt connected again. She leaned her head on his shoulder during the ride and closed her eyes taking everything in. She was always was safe with him and felt a pull inside of her she couldn't explain and so ignored it. He hadn't been in her head like Logan but he knew her so much more.
She still hadn't said anything and that bothered Scott. You keep things inside it eats at you.
Rogue wanted to run. That's how she felt but she didn't want to tell Scott. She wanted to run, run far away. Twice in her life she felt so much emotional pain that her physical body hurt, once she ran - finding the X-men on her journey now she wanted to run again. Didn't see what the school had to offer her, what was really left there for her. She didn't have anywhere else to go but felt there was nothing to stay for either. She thought the pain would lessen if she didn't have to see them anymore, didn't have to watch. Her body would feel better she knew. She didn't know where Scott was taking her but hung on tightly.
Finally they arrived at this place by a river. Rogue thought it was beautiful, so untouched by man. They sat down and said nothing. Just relaxed, laid back. Rogue still wasn't talking, she had no energy left to say anything. Scott took all the conversation.
School was just feeling a lot more crowded for him and he came here to get away. Seeing them together hurt him everyday, no matter how happy he was for them. He felt he could love no one but her, needed her. A part of him was gone, empty. He didn't think anyone would be the same but now had to find someone new, so weird after being with just one woman for about five years. He thought the woman he'd find he would love, but not the same way.
He tried to get Rogue to talk but wasn't working very well.
She knew how he felt but it was different for him. He can go out act normal, she can't. She hurts her friends. Her hope rested on Logan for so long, didn't have anything to replace, wasn't sure she wanted to replace it. She only thought it was better if she ran. All was quiet for a while.
She thought more about running, she left nothing back at the mansion that she'd need, she could just go now. Only thing to stay for would be Scott. Her best friend lately. But she'd just eventually hurt him too. It was only a matter of time. Leaving was the best thing for everyone. Now wouldn't be any worse then later.
She just got up and ran; flew as fast as she could, not caring about where she was going. She heard Scott dart after her. Why didn't he just let her go? "Rogue!" he called out to her.
She ignored him and kept on going. Finally his voice faded and then all she could hear was her own heart beat, pounding in her head and her own sobs. She finally got tired and stopped. She didn't know where she was but sat down, shaking.
Scott panicked, she just flew off. He couldn't keep up and he couldn't stop her. Where did she go? He followed her trail, praying she'd stop somewhere. She kept so much inside wanting to show the world she could take it but no one can take everything, you have to just accept it and fall. He was scared for her. She felt so alone but he didn't think she was at all. She had him at least. He wanted to help her. After Jean, she was probably the only other person that could keep him sane.
After about an hour, he was lost but kept going, he wasn't going to give up. He didn't shout and didn't want to make her run even further. He hoped she'd stopped and not reached a road where she could hitch hike her way out of here. Finally he heard the sound of familiar tears, ones he wanted to rip out of her.
She tried to run but where could she really go, perhaps she realized this herself.
He looked at her, no more waiting. "Talk to me Rogue, please" She looked at him and turned away.
"Let me help you."
She shied away and whispered, "you can't."
"Let me try, please."
She didn't say anything as he sat beside her, all to familiar scene this was becoming and he wanted it to finally stop. His heart was tearing apart, it was worse then seeing Jean and Logan together.
You can't keep it inside of you, it's tearing you apart." He waited a moment to let that sink in, "please." He was urging.
"I wanna leave."
"Leave?"
"School."
"Why?"
"I can't take it anymore. The whispers. No one would care, not like I'm the social center anyway. I'm just a conversation piece to gawk at."
"You have to ignore them Rogue. Besides, your friends, Bobby, Katherine, St. John, Jubilee, and Gambit all care about you. They don't talk about you like that."
"They say it with their eyes."
"I think you're trying to find something that's not there - to justify you're actions using it as an excuse to not get close."
She hated him being right. How did he know so much, he can peg her every emotion and every action. She couldn't hide from him.
"I can't even talk to Logan anymore. He wants to be my friend but now I find it so hard to tell him things. I feel guilty if I interrupt him during his time with Jean. I'm an annoyance."
Logan cares about you, don't ever doubt that. You have to try and open up to him, make him listen to you and listen to him too. Jean still cares about me, we talk and it's hard, but we get through it. No one says life is easy. You got to stop shutting people out as well."
"It's easier."
"To hurt yourself like this? No, it's not."
"I hurt people I don't want to."
"Who? Who have you hurt?"
"Logan, Gambit, Kitty. Either I touch them or hurt them in someway. So tired anymore. I don't fit in."
"There is no fit in at the mansion remember that. It is the one thing you don't have to be there. You didn't hurt anyone."
"I can't control it. I get careless people die. It's too much to constantly be on alert. That is why I dreamed of Logan. I could kill him but accidents and light touches he recovers. He'd be ok. He'd hold me when no one else did. Now any hope of anyone touching me is gone."
"You'll touch again. I have hope, faith and love in you. I believe in you Rogue. I need you, you keep me sane right now. We can work on this together. I'm not gonna run, neither can you."
She just continued to close her eyes, knees to her chest. She had to find her inner strength. So easy to give up but wasn't sure she wanted that.
Scott took her in his arms, "See - Logan's not the only one to touch you. Remember it doesn't have to be skin."
"I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Not finding anyone."
"I'd think that would be easy. You're beautiful Rogue."
"No one can touch me. They see me and see a mutant. What guy would want someone they can't be with? I can't get a job cause I might hurt someone. Also going out to clubs to find guys, it's too cramped, I can't dance with anyone. Remember what happened the last time?"
"Might's and what if's are just that. Don't be afraid to try. Regret is even worse."
"What about you?"
"It's funny, I've been with Jean so long, the thought of anyone else is hard but not impossible. If it makes you feel any better, we can try this together."
Rogue didn't know. She thought about the train ride with Logan and about giving these geeks one more try. She though she could do it again. She no longer had Logan but Scott was there, a solid foundation. She didn't think much about promises but wanted to hold him to something.
"Promise?"
"Yeah, I promise." He squeezed her close to his chest.
They sat for a while and finally got up hand in hand.
He took her for ice cream, that always made her feel better. It had healing properties.
Scott promised to help her find a job and they'd both go out on the dating scene. During the ride home she was more calm, felt stronger with Scott. She felt terrible for flipping out, she never knew why she did it but apologized, he said she had nothing to be sorry about.
Finally when they were home, Scott went up to Rogue and kissed her check through the cloak top. He left his lips there a bit longer then anyone else would but she didn't mind, she absorbed the sensation it gave her. Tingled her skin and her heart even skipped a beat. She felt his other gloved hand on her opposite check. Leather but warm and loving in just such a light touch.
Jean was worried where the two ran off too but Logan didn't care. He finally saw Rogue's red face he knew that she had talked to Scott. He hated Scott and knowing Rogue always went to him first now really bothered him. He didn't want her to feel like she couldn't turn to him and probably she thought he was doing a bad job at keeping his promise. He felt terrible and talked to her later that night apologizing for not being there and being a real jerk. He told her she could come to him any time, it didn't matter where, when or who he was with. He said he was still there to look out for her, not going to back out of that promise. He didn't want to lose her. He flashed one of his irresistible grins.
She gave him a hug and they spent the rest of the night talking till the sun came up actually. Everything eased over and felt better. She told him about feeling like third wheel and he said she could never be. He wished Rogue well on her night out this coming weekend and to be careful. If anyone laid a hand on her that she didn't want, he'd kick their ass.
She laughed at him for that statement. She was going to go with Scott, they'd find someone some where that was their match.
As he said before, the person you're looking for is closer than you think.The End