that little extra you always wanted to know but were too afraid to ask
simple machines
simple machines writers exposed
in no particular order
sierra capone
found on the side of the road with a jones apple soda in her hand, we asked her if she was in need of employment. we asked her what she could do. she replied, "that's easy." and she preceeded to pat her head and rub her tummy all at the same time. talk about skills!

gillespie

a practicing jehovah's witness, gillespie is a very religious young fellow who hopes to someday be one of the lucky few to walk among the golden streets of the heavens. good luck, brother.

sheriff wayn
e
the sheriff's in town and he's got his smoking guns at his sides. racine's number one artist 'townie' he enjoys long walks on the beach, casual sex and hot bubble baths. though sheriff wayne is looking for that special someone, he refuses to date other 'townies' due to rapid spread of madd cow disease.

94837
this inmate of the racine unified district is a big chess player who feels she will someday take over the world. she also believes that people wouldn't litter if they couldn't wear shoes. people without shoes are more careful.

benny reag
an
benny reagan is a rockstar. she will remain a rockstar until her death, which will never happen because she is immortal and that means she will live forever no matter what. benny reagan also plans on running for president and purchasing the entire world. yay benny. reagan for president; she is not a crook.

studs turke
l
studs is a member of the l.n.s.e.m.s.f. the l.n.s.e.m.s.f. is an important part of the daily lives of millions of people who believe for some odd reason that leonard nemoy should eat more salsa.

upton biffle
dear upton biffle is what most people call a wallflower. often, he may be found in value village, searching the sales rack for that oh-so-perfect look. upton lives in an apartment in the barrio of racine. he is very afraid of little people with purple arms.
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