November16th,
«ðñë*lðvë*ðñë*trust*ðñë*çhåñçë*ðñ*lifë»
It'z amazing life the way people come in n out and juss leave u there clueless on what to do give up or hold on....and no matter what it seemz everyone is out to hurt u like it never gets better only worse ur soo alone.. no matter how big a problem and how much u discuss it n forgive it never goes away it never gets fixed yea we can pretend its all like b 4 and im happy but really im not.. maybe i smile for those few seconds but im lucky everytime that smile or laugh comes out.. and once i enjoy those 5 seconds i get a thousands times worse pain.. its soo hard to be happy .it soo hard to forget to let go.. to not remeber i wish there was no such thing as memories as feeelings emotions sumtimes i wish i had no heart ppl love the fact that i hurt n cry over them they like that there loved even tho they show no love for me.. i guess i really have to try harder to let go to not rmeber everything is alwasy in my face of u .. of friends.. best friends.. things that will never change and when they do it wont be for the good i wish i cud go bakk in time i wud never have taking advantage of the times i dont have now.. all the times we talked i dont knoe how u dont see it by now but what can i do? i guess its true what they say.. LEARN TO LET GO OF SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND IF ITS MEANT TO BE IT WILL COMEBACK.. ive been thru this pain b 4 why again? maybe i shouldnt still care n be here but i am.. i never learnt the first time so the second time is worse.. im sorry for everything.. i wish it was easy but im alone i cant say everything i want to here cuz.. it will just cause more drama ... which i dont need and i knoe others dont.. there happy now.. cuz there was only one thing bothering them to begin with .. everyone has sum 1 maybe i juss gotta find that sum 1 .. so i dont have to feel so alone.. and maybe i will soon understand why people become soo attached and have 1 world.. i becaem attached but was left alone.. others .. arnt .. it z soo hard but whatever im being good.. doing homework... coming home ontime or b 4 curfew... im changing.. myself.. hopefully for me .. for the better.. ill see whos styll there in the end thats all that matterz
im sick of all this constant pain
im sick of people and life
y live it if ur always mad with it
i juss wanna find that gun n pull the trigger
why must people make me hate them
why must you turn ur bakk towards me
everyday is like a mission that people should only go thru once
im soo close to giving up im so close to letting go
ive already wished to never wake up but its not working
whats next? why am i here?
i am the defination of complication?
my eyes look old from all the tears
my eyes are dry because there are no more tears
i offically dont care dont let nothing phase me
u put the knife in and other people push it deeper
soon it will go right thru and it will be u overlooking my casket
with the smile that finally i am at rest and have peace
dont cry when im gone u should have cried while i was here
cuz thats when i was in pain
~~~~~
Lifes just a big emotional rollercoaster nothings ever good enough or maybe just too good to trust and believe? even our closest people can shut the door. why do we go through the same things over and over why do we keep trying why cant we ever learn once. people come and go. tear juss fall and fall and it always seems never ending sorry doesnt even matter n e more where is society going? what is becoming of us? theres no remorse no guilt no shame. i knoe i care i knoei cry and i knoe i hurt everything means something and words are always the most they never leave there never left and lost in the words after their printed marked whenever you wanna "hear" see them again u juss use ur eyes its amazing how i have soo much in writting yet that person hasnt seen any of it what does that mean what does that say? so many questions so little answers so many friendships so many enemiez why the ones closest to you are always able to hurt you the most? maybe cause the knoe you wont care after but if i did care after wud we be friends?i cant take n e more of this being pushed aside its been happening to long straight up. the people that say their always gonna be there arnt maybe if ur lucky 1 or 2 of them why trust 10 of them? "the greatest trick the devil did was convincing the world is didnt exist"doesnt that shyt make u think? life is soo fukked is such a fukkin mission not easy but yet everything goes by soo fast everything soo crazzy .. yet the things that make you happy never last long enuff the people uve always trusted prove you soo long.. why do people lie where does it get them but deeper in their shyt.what to say .. waht to do when to stop when to start when to gvie up when to let go when to hold on .. its all fate .. it will all come one day .. well see for now juss hold on ride with me help me thru my mission dont give up dont let me fall dis world is crazzy full of madness and i knoe tru say i dont have the strength to accomplish it all on my own