Angie Ledbetter 8/22/00

RANDOM ACTS OF "KIDNESS"

With the grass roots movement of "Random Acts of Kindness" gaining popularity, it would be great to apply this virtuous teaching to our parenting skills. Children, learning from what we DO and not what we SAY, will absorb the art and talent of being nice for no particular reason into their personalities; something sorely needed today.

Model or participate in some of these activities with your beloved children, and all will benefit:

*When you gather for meals, carpool, family time, or night prayers, ask each member what they have done for someone else that day. When this becomes routine, you will be surprised at how eager your kids are to share their daily good deeds with the family. Reports such as, "I helped Caleb carry his books," and "There was a new kid at school and he was nervous, so I sat with him," will become part of their everyday vocabulary.

*Have a daily prayer time with the kidlets. Hearing you pray, and verbalizing their intentions and concerns will help them stick in your offspring's heads and hearts, and hopefully flow out into actions.

*Praise and notice your children's unselfish acts. Encourage them to be givers, peacemakers, and forgivers. They will be in the minority among their peers, so will need your "back up" to help them go against the tide of selfish, rude, and inconsiderate behavior that prevails.

*Make time for "teaching moments" by pointing out how a negative situation can be handled in a more loving, Christian way. Role-playing games and open lines of communication are key.

*Take your children with you to community service activities. Visit the sick, elderly, and shut in; serve/provide food for homeless shelters; donate new or used toys to the needy; work neighborhood or city trash clean up days; visit or send food to your own ill, overly burdened friends or family; voluntarily help elderly neighbors with small home or yard chores.

*Let your children see you putting others' needs before your own. Make the effort to be loving and thoughtful in little ways such as sending cards; babysitting for friends; bringing a meal to a new parent; making time to listen/help with a problem even when you are swamped; cleaning up after a gathering instead of leaving it to the host; always leaving a place cleaner than you found it.

*Point out the many examples in Scripture of the kindnesses of Jesus and others, and help them to notice that these "random acts of kindness" often will go unnoticed by others, but never by their Father in heaven. (For scriptural help, read: Ephesians 3:17-19, Colossians 3:16-17, and Exodus 23:2.)

If you work with your children, you can instill the dying art of loving-kindness. You, as parent and prime educator, will be giving your sons and daughters a gift that will be hard, if not impossible, for them to acquire later on in life. You will also be giving future role models to the world.

Join the silent but powerful group of parents who are teaching what may be called the "Random Acts of 'Kidness'" one day. I know it works. This is a true story that bears out my theory:

My 11-year-old daughter and I were recently in a huge chain store. She headed over to the school supply section while I went for groceries. Surprisingly, I finished shopping before she did and was already standing in line at one of the 15 checkouts. Her view of me was blocked by a huge book display. As I had plenty of time to kill, I watched her watching a bewildered elderly man shuffle around the front counter area. The poor soul had on shower slippers and clothing that had seen much better days. It was obvious that he was homeless.

I saw the sad look on Amanda's face as she scrabbled around in her small purse. I knew what she was doing, and had to restrain myself from giving her the money to give to the gentleman. She wanted to use her own money, so I squashed my mommy instincts. She left her buggy in line, and walked a short distance behind the man where she dropped the rolled up one dollar bills to the floor. My heart and eyes filled as she gently tapped him on the shoulder, and pointed the money out to him. As he joyfully scooped up the money, I could read his lips telling Amanda "God bless you." My daughter sweetly shook her head, "No" smiled up at him, said a few words, and then skipped back to her buggy.

I pretended to be busy with my checkbook as I quickly wiped my eyes. Once back in our car and headed home, Amanda shyly related the story of how she'd noticed the man looking at the cookies in the store. He'd counted the change in his pocket then replaced the cookies. She said, "Mom, I knew he was hungry and he seemed sorta confused. I didn't want him to be hungry." "So, did you give him some money or buy him some food?" I asked her.

My little angel replied, "No, momma. I didn't want him to be embarrassed that I thought he was poor, so I told him I found some money on the floor, and that I thought it was his. He said, 'God bless you', and I really do feel blessed. Then I showed him the bananas on sale."

This little "random act of 'kidness'" from my own child will continue to bless me for many years to come. May you all be similarly rewarded.