The Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Prom Date
by Audrey Trinidad

Hey guys.. I know, biglang meron nanamang ganito pero hindi ko mapigilan. I just HAD to do this.

10. Complete silence. The only thing worse than a date that doesn't stop talking is one that does not talk AT ALL. That would be a nightmare for me. Hamak na madaldal kasi.

9. We don't have to dance naman, diba?

8. Um, erm..*toot*<----name of a girl he used to date/like or was his "girl" a este, (your name). Kapag ito'y mangyari, haaaaaayyy..dyos ko, sakalin niyo, bilis. kung tutuusin, isang tingin pa lang mula sa yo at baka mamatay na siya sa hiya. At dapat lang.

7. Uh, kailangan ba ng corsage talaga? *sabay kamot ng ulo* Kapag nangyari ito, sampalin mo na, don't even think.

6. Wait lang. I have to go out (and smoke). Hmmph.. Aba, hayaan mong tumaas ang iyong kilay at mandilim ang iyong mga mata. Siguro sapat na iyon para isipin niya muli ang pinaplano niyang gawin.

OR...

Wait lang (I have to talk to my friends). Maganda ang may kakilala siya sa prom niyo. Para naman hindi siya lonely, diba? Pero ang iwanan ka at hindi bumalik.. Ibang usapan na iyon.

Take note: One of the main purposes of a date is to be WITH you for the duration of the night. Not to have dinner at biglang mawala nang parang bula.

5. Can we go home early? I have an early curfew e. OHMEGED. OHMEGED. Kung mangyari ito sa akin, hindi ko alam kung matutulala lang ako o iuuntog ko ang aking sarili dahil hindi ko akalaing may lalaking ganito.

4. Oops. *Rrriiip* (kapag naapakan niya at nadumihan/natastas ang dress mo) kung mahaba ang dress mo (ang akin mahaba), sabihin mo sa kanya. Baka biglang maiyak ka na lang dun. Sayang naman ang pag-iilusyon mong magmukhang may poise.

3. Ha?! You're cold ba? (Upon seeing you shiver) *pause* Hindi ka kasi nag-jacket e. -AAANNNGG DEENNSSEE niya kapag masabi niya ito at siguro'y tinatanong mo na sa iyong sarili kung anong nag-possess sa iyo at nagawa mong dalhin siya sa prom mo.

2. Uy.. *sundotsundot* Maganda pala yung kaibigan mo. Pakilala mo naman ako. Oh dear... Walk away, just walk away. (At baka masaksak mo siya gamit ng dinner fork mo.)

And the number one thing you DON'T want to hear from your date.. (Lalo na kapag set up)

1. Matagal-tagal na rin kayong nasa prom nang biglang... Hey *nudgenudge* (swabe pa).. Um, I actually have a room upstairs.. (sabay Closeup smile) MANYAK!!!!! Layuan mo na, bilis! Tumakbo ka na at sumigaw ng malakas na MANG BAGUIO!!!!! HEEELP!

Wala lang. Hehehehe... Walang magawa. I just thought about the worst-case scenarios of this prom thing and came up with this list. The thought of any of the aforementioned things happening, particularly number one, is disturbing. I only do this for comic relief and well, I really do hope none of us have to deal with any of these. I hope I amused you in some little way and made you forget for even a moment that this much awaited event is merely 9 days away.

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