The night may have started out badly with Kurt’s two young protégés Colt Cabana and Joey Ryan losing due to Ryan tapping out to the Crippler Crossface, embarrassing his mentor in the process. Kurt however rectified the fatal error by booting the moustache man right outta Team Angle and out of SGW completely.

Then later in the night Kurt revealed to John that the two were to have a special stipulation added to their match at WrestleBrawl. Before he could finish Cena rudely interrupted the Olympic Hero and was soon after attacked by the FIVE newest members of Kurt’s Team Angle…THE SPIRIT SQUAD!

Kurt then told John that their match at WrestleBrawl would be one in which Kurt is very comfortable with, and has dominated his competition in…a submission match. Surely John Cena has bit off more then he can chew, and Kurt seems to be on a mission to dispose of the rap star and go on later in the night to become the number one contender to the SGW World Championship.

But this week Kurt must put his undefeated streak on the line and team up with his student of the game Colt Cabana to take on Too Cool, Scotty 2 Hotty and Grandmasta Sexay. Surely these two nimrods will not only have their asses handed to them Olympic style…but will be run out of Solid Gold Wrestling as well.

Team Angle vs. Too Cool

Our scene opens up inside the packed arena in Charlotte, North Carolina. The fans are eagerly awaiting the start of Saturday Night Stroke and before we get to the main show we are welcomed to a dark match pitting former Solid Gold Wrestling Hardcore Champion The Sandman against the Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal maniac Sabu. This match is obviously being contested under hardcore rules, as the fans will get to see some bloodshed before the scheduled SGW event. Sandman does his usual ten-minute entrance, drinking a six-pack before he even enters the ring, followed by Sabu. Just as the bell is rung however Kurt Angle’s music hits.

And down comes the American Hero dressed in a red, white and blue track suit, gold medals hanging around his neck. He poses on the ramp and fireworks go off behind him. It appears he’s flying solo right now, as Colt Cabana and Sable are nowhere to be found. Kurt rolls into the right to a mixed reaction from the crowd and gets a microphone from ring announcer Gary Michael Cappetta.

Kurt Angle: GREETINGS to all my fans here in Charlotte!!

The fans give a mild reaction to the cheap pop. He’s no Mick Foley.

Kurt Angle: Your Olympic Hero has a match tonight in which he has been paired up with his student of the game Colt Cabana to take on two DANCING FOOLS, and quite frankly…I’m gonna wipe the floor with them.

Both the Sandman and Sabu do not look happy Kurt is hogging the spotlight from their match and placing it on himself.

Kurt Angle: It’s quite obviously to ANY fan with half a brain…or even the fans here in Charlotte that not only am I FIVE MILLION time better then Too Cool…I’m also a better dancer! Oh it’s true…

Kurt flashes that geeky smile. Not even acknowledging the two former ECW World Champions.

Kurt Angle: Now…in about, fifteen minutes…when these two jobbers end their match and the theme music for Stroke hits, you’ll are bare witness Kurt Angle taking two more pathetic losers to school! You may be saying to yourselves…”Kurt, how can Too Cool be pathetic losers? They’re not even FROM North Carolina!”

The fans erupt in boos, Kurt just continues on.

Kurt Angle: But I assure you…these two nimrods have about as much chance as defeating Team Angle…as Ric Flair winning another World Title!!

These fans are enraged.

Kurt Angle: HEY! Don’t get me wrong here…back in 1887 Ric Flair was in his PRIME!! NOBODY could beat the Nature Boy back then!! Not the cavemen…not the dinosaurs…not even the giant asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs!! And rumor has it that asteroid landed right on Flair’s giant beak he calls a nose!!

Kurt can barely be heard through all the boos he’s receiving.

Kurt Angle: But listen…Ric Flair isn’t the only good thing to come out of this state! You guys have the Carolina Hurricanes!

The fans cheer the newly crowned Stanley Cup Champions.

Kurt Angle: Yeah! See! I guess ONE championship makes you worth a damn! If they win it ONE MORE TIME then they’ll be off of David Arquette’s level!!!

The cheers quickly turn to boos once again.

Kurt Angle: But you don’t just have the Hurricanes…you have the Panthers.

Cheap pop.

Kurt Angle: Yeah, see! You love them and they’ve never even come CLOSE to being champions! I guess it IS true what they say…Carolina born, Carolina bred…we’re ALL losers here…and we’d be better off DEAD!!

Security is doing their best to calm the crowd.

Kurt Angle: And the TARHEELS…who could forget the TARHEELS! Isn’t it funny how that team every year not ONLY disappoints…but the best players on the team get the heck out of here as soon as they possibly can, because they know what a dump this state is!!

The fans are in a total frenzy, and Kurt is clueless.

Kurt Angle: Hey, I’m just stating facts here people!! Don’t be mad because none of you can count past twelve or know you ABC’s…those are things your redneck parents should have been teaching you instead of…apparently by the looks of you people, instead of engaging in sexual relations BEFORE marriage with farm animals! OH IT’S DAMN TRUE!! AND…

KURT ANGLE JUST GOT A SINGAPORE CANE SMACKED RIGHT ACROSS THE BACK OF HIS HEAD BY THE SANDMAN!! It doesn’t matter what happens on Stroke, that’s guaranteed to be the loudest pop of the night! Kurt rolls out of the ring in pain as the bell is rung once again and the match is underway. Kurt walks around ringside holding the back of his head before joining ring announcers Joey Styles and Don Callis at ringside to help call the action. Kurt puts on the headset, careful not to touch his wound.

Joey Styles: Well Mister Olympic Gold Medals it looks like you’re the most hated man in Charlotte right now!

Kurt Angle: What the FREAKIN’ HELL are you talkin’ about Joey Styles? These people love me!

Joey Styles: It sure didn’t hear that way while you were ripping up their hometown teams and their homegrown wrestling hero Ric Flair!

Kurt Angle: Gimmie a break…the best thing to ever leave Charlotte will be me when I pack up after my match and drive outta here as fast as humanly possible!

Joey Styles: I’d have to say 110% of the fans disagree here.

Don Callis: Oh will you shut up Styles! This man is an American HERO! Give him the respect he deserves!

Kurt Angle: Thank you Don…you know I always knew that you were the only good announcer in ECW.

Don Callis: Tell me about it…if this hack was calling the action alone we wouldn’t have reached the FIRST WrestleBrawl!

Joey Styles: HEY! I seem to remember doing just FINE by myself in ECW!

Kurt Angle: Yeah, you SURE did…and by the way, where is ECW now Joey?? Thanks to YOU!!

Meanwhile while the banter goes on at ringside The Sandman and Sabu have been beating the holy hell out of each other in the ring. Sandman is going to town right now on Sabu with a series of Singapore Cane shots.

Joey Styles: I’ll have you know that the spirit of ECW is living on right this very moment in that very ring!

Kurt Angle: Please…if the spirit of ECW was in that ring we’d be watching a forty-year old fat, balding virgin stuffing his face with potato chips, watching old ECW tapes on his black and white TV in his trailer!

Joey Styles: Paul Heyman is a hell of a man!

Kurt Angle: I was talking about all the ECW fans you idiot!

Don Callis: Hahaha! Hey Kurt? What do you think of this DISGRACE that’s going on in the ring right now?

Kurt Angle: I was just asking myself if The Sandman knew any other moves besides hitting somebody with a wooden stick.

Don Callis: He knows two more…he can smoke and drink a beer. At the same time…

Kurt Angle: He’s one hell of an athlete…I mean, where the hell did this guy learn to become a professional wrestler? During happy hour in some sleazy bar?

Don Callis: There’s no way it took him a whole hour to learn all those moves.

Kurt Angle: This guy is a total joke, Styles! Not only does he lack integrity…he also lacks intelligence!

Don Callis: Probably due to all the smoking and sex before marriage.

Kurt Angle: Exactly!

Joey Styles: I’ll have you know that The Sandman is one of the most respected ECW champions to ever live!

Kurt Angle: He’s not up against very much competition! When one of the former World Champions is a guy who NOT ONLY never won a damn match…he never even got in any offence!! Did you guys set the bar low or what?

Don Callis: You know who else set the bar pretty low Kurt? TOO COOL!

Kurt Angle: HECK yeah they did! I mean, one of them is Jerry Lawler’s son…big deal. It’s not like it’s…MY son!! Then I’d have a challenge on my hands!

Joey Styles: Brian Christopher is arguably better then his father!

Don Callis: So what? He’s better then Jerry…so is the guy that delivered me a pizza last night!

Kurt Angle: Oh it’s true, Styles! Jerry Lawler’s biggest achievement is almost breaking some pathetic comedians neck!

Joey Styles: That made headlines around the United States!

Kurt Angle: Well you know what news went around the WORLD??? ME WINNING A GOLD MEDAL WITH A REAL BROKEN NECK!!

Don Callis: Amen Kurt!!

Kurt Angle: And Brian Christopher’s biggest achievement is being the SON of the loser that almost paralyzed a comedian! Well I tell you guys this…I don’t sing, I SURE AS HELL can dance…but when it’s GO TIME in that ring I’m far from a comedian! Outside the ring may be a different story, as I’ve been told the similarities to me and famous comedians such as Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy are uncanny!

Sabu sets up a table in the ring and lays Sandman on it. He drills him through the table with an Arabian Face Buster from the top rope!

Kurt Angle: OH MY GOD!!

Joey Styles: That’s my line!! And I’m surprised Kurt…I didn’t think you’d appreciate EXTREME action like that I’m impressed!

Kurt Angle: No it wasn’t that…I saw that guy on the top rope and thought for sure that he was a terrorist and was gonna throw himself at me just like his people did to the World Trade Center!

Joey Styles: That’s despicable!

Kurt Angle: Don’t worry Styles, if he would have I would have caught him and Angle Slammed him into the first terrorist attack in the next century!

Don Callis: I always knew that rag head was bad news!

Kurt Angle: But anyway…after I tear through Too Cool like the Seahawks tore through the Panthers in the playoffs!!

Don Callis: Hahaha…you’re TOO COOL Kurt!

Kurt Angle: That’s what my Mom tells me!

Joey Styles: Alright CHAMP what do you think about the supper pay per view event SGW has set up, that being WrestleBrawl 2, the biggest event in the history of this business?

Kurt Angle: What I think? I don’t think…I KNOW that I’m gonna beat the rapper out of John Cena and then go on to win that battle royal! What do you think my odds are Don?

Don Callis: I’d have to say…one to one.

Kurt Angle: That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking!

Joey Styles: Gimmie a break ever superstar in that match has an equal chance!

Kurt Angle: Please Joey…this isn’t ECW where every guy has an equal chance because all of them have the same number of LOW intelligence! I’m a man of INTEGRITY AND INTELIIGENCE AND INTENSITY!! I’m gonna use ALL of my three I’s to come out the winner and face either Lance Storm or Kurt Cobain!

Joey Styles: It’s Edge not Kurt Cobain genius.

Kurt Angle: Well he could have fooled me.

The Sandman has just hit the white Russian leg sweep and won the match.

Kurt Angle: Now if you two will excuse me…I’m gonna show these people what a REAL MAN looks like! WITHOUT excessive violence!

Don Callis: I believe in YOU Kurt Angle!

Kurt stands up and throws the headset off.

Joey Styles: Ass kisser.

Don Callis: Virgin geek.

Sandman gets a beer, cracks it open…and gets Angle Slammed by Kurt Angle!! Sandman didn’t even see it coming! Kurt celebrates in the ring, kicking the full beer to the outside as the Charlotte fans show their hatred for the Olympic Hero. Kurt’s music hits over the PA system and he proceeds up the ramp with an Olympic sized grin on his face.

[[ Static. ]]