THE HARSHA JOKES

Most groups have a few jokers in their group- the target of the jokes of the others. But we got more than just a joker- we got a NATURAL JOKER. By this, I mean that there is little that Harsha needs to do to be a joker than just be himself. Golden words that leave us in splits always fall like the water flowing down a waterfall. Not just what he speaks- the way he walks itself is comic. A curious twist of the arms and the swing of the shoulders in a most awkward manner are a treat to watch. Not that Harsha is alone in this regard- Sriram's gait is the best. His right foot steps at around 45 degrees to the right of the vertical position of the leg. Anyway, lets reserve Grandpa Sriram for another day. This is Harsha's corner. We have put together a few of the unforgettable Harsha moments that leave us in splits every time we think about it. This will be updated very frequently - I can guarantee that.

1.....

The time is 10.25AM in January 1998, and we were at the finance department waiting to collect the money for our trip-all the ten of us. And as we had a meeting with the company's Vice President at 10.45AM, we were almost making our way out when the concerned guy came to his seat. Mandai(Siva)Mani ran forward and asked

"Sir, can we collect the money now Sir ?"
The guy replies,"No, the money has not yet come from the bank. Come back at 10.40."

Harsha, who was at the back of the group, suddenly brushes everyone aside and starts off to the guy "Please Sir, can we come at 10.15 because" - IMPORTANT: AT THIS POINT, SIVAMANI PLACED THE WATCH INDICATING THE TIME AS 10.25 RIGHT IN FRONT OF HARSHA'S EYES. HARSHA HAS SEEN IT BUT CONTINUES- "we have got a meeting with the VP at 10.45 and will not be able to come at 10.40 and so we would like to come at 10.15 or so and oh my God its already 10.25" and just walks away, leaving the poor guy gaping and us in splits. It had taken him almost 2 minutes to register the time and then its implication. This should be a fair estimate of the mental speed of the fellow!!!

2.....

Leave alone speed - the way Harsha jumps between topics is another great hear. One day, during our GT days when we used to stay together at the GT house in Manavala Nagar, after returning from the office we were having our daily relaxation of going through the papers and having a bite of biscuit or something. (The puffs would be reserved for the post-cricket session) Over the last few days, the cable connection had been disconnected and so- no television. Anyway, Harsha is busy going through the paper . Then he says,

'What man, no good programs today. Come, lets go attack the cable guy."

I will leave it to you readers to connect the "no good programs" with the "cable guy". If you can see light, sorry, you also belong to the Harsha category.

3.....

But the most memorable of the Harsha incidents was at Lucknow during Deepak's wedding. Now, it was the morning of our departure to Benaras where the wedding was to take place, there was a fair gathering in the house and thus a fair rush for the toilets as well. When an opportunity presented itself, Harsha ran into the toilet and locked it up (may I mention in passing that in terms of bathroom usage, Harsha and Deepak rule the roost- a minimum of 45 minutes to a maximum of 2 hours is their time inside per visit they make there!!!).

The rest of us including a couple of Deepaks' uncles were waiting outside anxiously. Sriram was standing in awkward angles and squeezing his tummy and moaning and now and then, knocking on the door and shouting "Hurry up, Harsha"recieving the inevitable "I am coming- one minute" answer. After what seemed like an eternity, at last, the door is unlatched and at the sound we all scurry towards the door and there, our Hero stands, with a towel tied on his wait and in his hand is the WATER HEATER.

We stood staring at this sight and seeing our incredulous looks, and then came the classic Harsha statement - "ACTUALLY, IT WAS VERY COLD INSIDE." The rest of the trip, he was repeatedly questioned on how the water heater managed to alleviate the cold as he performed his morning duties.

4.....

The telephone seems to bring out Harsha at his best. I remember an occasion he was speaking to one of his friends. He says, "Hi daaa!!..........such a long time ,no, since we last met ? When did we last meet ?". The next moment "Yesterdayaaaa...? When ? ..." and we needed little beyond this to make it our day and another Harsha memorable.

Another time, Harsha was on the phone talking with Deepak. Here is how the conversation went :
DEEPAK : So, how is HM doing ?
HARSHA: Bad man. And how is Ford ?
DEEPAK: Bad man. The rains in Bombay and then Thackeray getting arrested . All problems.
HARSHA: No, no, man. What are you saying ? The cars wont get rusted because of the rains....

5...

Harsha and Deepak went shopping and Harsha was browsing for some B'day greetings. Deepak asked him for whom it was intended and Harsha replied that it was meant for a school friend of his.

Deepak : When is his Birthday?
Harsha : November 23, 24 and 25
Deepak : ??!!@@?##$$@@!!??
EPILOGUE:
Harsha later gave an explanation....he was going to buy three cards for three of his friends whose b'days were on successive days

6...

Before reading this it would be right to mention that Harsha has managed to score 700 in his GMAT !!! This has convinced us that there is a serious BUG in the test software. If in doubt read on...

Deepak and Sriram were having a conversation
Sriram: How many panels are there?
Deepak:(Indicating three fingers) There are seven panels.
Mandaimani: Hey Deepak! What you showed isn't seven but three.
This is where Harsha comes to Deepak's rescue
Harsha: So what?! SEVEN is the only prime number immediately after three.
Mandai: That damn GMAT software must be infested by a colony of bugs!!!

Harsha and Deepak discussing the plans for the day.
Harsha: I have to meet this fellow Anil. I dont know him well, but he has done an MBA and I need his inputs.
Deepak: How do you know him?
Harsha: Oh, he is my mother's son's best friend
Deepak: ??!!>???>!!@??

7...

A conversation Sriram had with Harsha over the phone:
The conversation was revolving around variouis topics like Harsha's sister's kid's naming ceremony, office etc.
In the course of the conversation Harsha says: " Whew, its so pleasant!! Not like yesterday, hot and sultry. Its so cool today!!"
This left me wondering, because today was just as unpleasantly hot as the previous day and it was horribly sultry. But I didn't argue with him, assuming that the dumbo was in one of his all-things-bright & beautiful- mood.
And so the conversation continued about other topics. After about five minutes he mentions " What is that noise?? " a long pause and then a sudden exclamation " Hey!!! someone has left the A/C on in my room!!!!"
So much for his "pleasant day" !! Another of Harsha's mysteries was explained!!

8...

Its nearing 12 in the night - and five of us are in Harsha's room nearing sleep. Here is how the conversation went :
Kicha : Guys, I want to buy an AC. should I buy it now or when its winter.
Ajay : Havent you read the laws of economics. Buy it when in December. There would be sales and you would get it dirt cheap.
Harsha : No,no. Electronics goods and all that stabilize. No big difference when you buy. Maximum would be a discount of 1000 bucks or so.
Sathya : I suggest you ditch theAC idea da. Not great use anyway.
Vivek : Hey, what are you saying ? We can go to his place when it gets too hot. You buy da Kicha.
Silence for a while. Then..
Harsha : Buy a DVD-attached TV.
We are all stunned. What is this suddenly ?
Sathya : What are you blabbering ?
Harsha : Whats with you ? I said that as he is buying a TV, he might as well buy a DVD-attached...
Our loud guffaws stop him from continuing. On our making it clear to him that Kicha had mentioned an AC, he says "Huhu..huhu.. I thought he was talking about a TV"
This after being an active part of the discussion for over ten minutes.

MAIL NO 1

there are times when I feel so good. so good, that i can hardly feel my fingers on the keyboard. like squishing through butter. you may have guessed it...but i am high.

high on what? high on confidance... high on faith...!!! i don't know. but i am definetly high on alcohol.

i can hardly type without the aid of the "backspace". but i can type. i get the strength from the faith. faith in my friends. faith in you! i know i am going to regret this blabbering tomorrow! regret it when you read it and reply back to the office...mocking me!!! but i type...with the aid of the backspace!

i just met my friend from the past.. and as yuo might have guessed..downed a few...four i think, at the bar. but it was good to see him. it felt good to know that there is a friend after all these years! there is faith! it was thrilling meeting him...more so because of you. when i met him i was on a high that i have a friend after all these years....a friend i have earned because of me. and i know that i am going to be on a even higher "high" when i reflect back upon you...all of you...who have been good friends...through all these years and ever more. friends whom i have kicked, And friends whom i have expected to be there..like all of you! Again...i don't know know what i am typing..but i know i am high because of you...my friends for true!!!

love, harsha

P.S: gosh! please do not read this mail!!!!!!!! gotta go crash now. can't hold on much longer.

MAIL NO 2


Had a very eventful two days!!?.almost compressed into one?.because I woke up only at 2.30 noon today. Yesterday was my gallery aunt?s b?day?..and she had a series of bashes?great fun?people from all over. Lunch yesterday and then party in the night at G2. it was a Moulin rouge theme party and there were a lot of cleavage toting aunties. Everybody in masks and flashy clothes. I painted my face too. Astad deboo also came along with my aunt who lives down the road?.and he did a great dance. G2 has two levels?u can look down from the top level to the one below at the people dancing. And there are like rails in this opening. Astad deboo did some movements all over the railings and he was really good. I went and spoke to him afterwards?.only I don?t remember what. And getting down to the point that is what I am most embarrassed about. I had tequila last night?.and since I have not had it many times before, I could not gauge my limits. So couldn?t shantanu?luckily I passed out only at home, unlike he, who passed out at the hotel itself. Another cousin and I transported him with my sisters chauffering us. I got up only at two thirty today? and don?t remember anything. I am feeling pretty sheepish.. now everybody in my house knows that I can drink a lot (which is not true).

Anyway can?t pen more, I got hurt on my palm.. and I don?t remember how. Paining pretty badly. I swear I am never going to drink tequila again.