Hi, My story begins in March of 2000 when me and my husband discovered a rough area around my clitorus. I was due for my yearly and made an appointment to go and have this checked out too. My gyn thought it wasn't anything to worry about but scheduled me for a colopscopy. I didn't realize that there would be a biopsy done, and didn't take anyone with me. BIG Mistake! Went and he took a punch biopsy around my clitorus. I could barely drive home it hurt so bad and it hurt for days!
Two weeks later I went back for the results (mind ya the doc never called) and was told that I had VIN III carcinomia in situ. The doc told me that it was good I had gotten in early and referred me to a gyn onocologist. He was shocked that it was VIN.
In April of 2000 I went in for laser surgery under the recommendation of the ono who told me it would cause less damage since it was in a very sensitive area. It was an outpatient procedure and the ono told me I had a 10% chance of it coming back. He lasered the perineum area and around the clitorus. So on I went with my life happy to hear such odds.
Until July when I discovered it had returned. I was devastated. I didn't go back to the same ono as my husband had lost his job and we were now under a new insurance so I made a appointment with a new ono. He did a colonscopy and told me I needed to be worried about the area around my rectum. A little background here.....I had a large area around my rectum that the previous gyn, gyn onocologist and my pcp saw (pcp diagnoised hemmrhoids) and mentioned nothing about. I thought it was hemmrhoids because of the symptoms of itching and bleeding.
Forward.....the ono took a biopsy of the area OUCH!!!! and it came back the same. He wanted to do the laser on the area because of where it was but told me he would need to do a partial vulvectomy (wide local incision). I argued with him saying that the previous ono told me that laser was better. He informed me that it wasn't and it would more than likely come back. So I relented and went with his recommendation. By the way, I looked for info in the library and nothing. Also he gave me a printout about VC but that's all I had to go on.
So in August of 2000 I was back in for the surgery. He removed part of my clitorus, clitoral hood and minoria labia completly and lasered the perineum and a large area on my rectum. It was terrible. The pain and the shock of looking at the area were almost too much to bear. I cried and screamed everytime I went to the bathroom and soon discovered the less I ate the better because then I didn't have to have a BM. You see everytime I went it reinjured the area and it would burn and bleed. I had cold sweats and figured out pretty quick that a shower was necessary after every BM. Most days all I wanted was for someone to shoot me and get it over with.
About that time I braved the chair and went searching on the net where I found a wonderful group of ladies that had the same thing as me! I was overjoyed and elated that there were others out there who could relate to me. What a blessing! I'd been told this was a rare cancer and there wasn't much info out there. Wrong! There's so much info between these wonderful ladies and the sites that they told me to go for info. What support I got! In the midst of this horrible thing I had others who could relate.
I wish I could say that this was the end for me but it wasn't, within 4 weeks it came back around my rectum. So back into surgery and more laser, he still didn't want to cut it out. Back to the BM's from hell! That was on October 31st 2000.
I'm currently on a watch and see for a area that returned around my rectum. Doc says it's only VIN II and if he goes in he will cut it out this time. But he says it's a slow growing cancer and he wants to wait. I'm just not sure I like the idea of a area still on me that a doc is waiting to turn into invasive cancer. But what do I know?? Life is strange and onocologists even stranger!
So in closing I have to say that if you're reading this you've found a wonderful group of ladies who will help guide you thru a most devastating event in your life and there is hope. I look pretty normal down there and am still able to maintain a sex life which is a big concern to every woman that's been thru this. It's been a hard road to travel. Not feeling "normal" and losing a part of what makes you a woman. You can and will get thru it. I promise! I didn't think I would but I'm here and while I still have "bad days" they are coming farther apart.
I credit my belief in God, my supportive husband and family and a wonderful group of ladies who I now call friends! God Bless! |
