All poems are copyrighted and are not to be copied in any form without the express permission of the author. These poems are worldwide on the internet and currently in print, from Tasmania to California.
winwood@ils.net
THE PUPPY
When I grow up to be a man
I want to be like Dad
I want lots of ribbons and things
And some women he hasn't had
My Mommy says there's lots of time
Get out of my face, go play
So I'll be good as I can be
Until she walks away
I know you must have practised Dad
You make it look so easy
And the best part of all you see
Is the girls round here are sleezy
Mommy reads all the books
and thinks she's so darn smart
But I know I'm her favourite
She knows it in her heart
The breeders think I'm gorgeous
My temperament is the best
If I'm so pretty special
Why does Mommy call me pest
One day when I'm like Daddy
And have a Championship too
She'll consider herself lucky
To pick up all my POO
For now I'm just hanging out
Doing what guys do
Checking out all the babes
And bugging Mommy too!
Now I've gone and told a lie
It's time to go to bed
So I'll just snuggle up with Teddy
and rest my little head.
BEWARE
Buyer beware the Breeder
Who tells only of his best.
Take the time to ask him,
What happened to all the rest.
The ribbons and trophies you see,
Tell part of a little story.
But there's more to a good dog.
Then ribbons, trophies and glory.
Breeder beware the Buyer
Who loudly does proclaim,
How he loves the puppy,
But will keep it on a chain.
Puppy beware them both
The Breeder who only seeks fame
The Buyer who would destroy you
By keeping you on a chain.
SHOW DAY
I'm a German Shepherd puppy,
Just starting my career.
I find it very funny,
The things I see and hear.
The rings are just gigantic,
As far as I can see.
I get to run my fastest,
At speeds over 103.
I often look behind me,
My handler is tiring fast.
Sometimes it looks doubtful,
If the poor soul will last.
It must be hard for handlers,
To run at such a pace.
I find it very funny,
To see their red face.
The judge has now said halt,
Darn good thing I think.
My handler is getting sweaty,
He's giving off a stink!
Oh no, here comes the awful part,
What I go through to be a star.
Hey wait just a minute,
My legs don't stretch that far.
My handler grabs my mouth,
Yanks it open for all to see.
The judge is counting teeth,
Didn't nobody ask me!
Oh look, I see my Mom,
She's jumping up and down.
The judge looked at Mom,
With a very horrible frown.
Now we're running round again,
The judge has yelled slow.
My Mom called my name,
But now where did she go.
I run my little heart out,
Everytime I hear my name.
But every time I get there,
She's gone and moved again.
The judge has made his choices.
Hurray, he pointed to me.
Can I please have my rosette,
I have to go out and pee.
The show is now all over.
I really did my best.
My handler is going home, he said,
He really needs a rest.
The rosette is on the mantle.
My head's on Mom's lap
I know I made her happy to-day,
Now I'm going to take a nap.
WHO'S THAT?
Who's that person
That runs behind me?
He'll never catch up
Any idiot can see.
His face is red,
His eyes are set,
His forehead drips
With tons of sweat.
Who's this person,
Flicks a leash on my back.
"Think your so smart,
Just watch this Jack"!
He jerks to the left,
Then he jerks again.
I'll fix him,
He's driving me insane.
Now he pulls back,
He yells out slow.
I'll fix him,
Look how fast I can go.
Who's that person
Who now orders stand
I'll fix him,
I'll ignore his command.
He pulls me up,
But I'd prefer to sit.
I'll fix him,
The silly nit wit!
He grabs my legs,
Puts four on the floor.
I'll just lift up one,
Drive him nuts some more.
Push me, pull me,
Is the game we play.
But he can't win,
Not on this day.
Who's this person,
Sticks liver in my face?
He has no manners,
Oh, what a disgrace.
I heard someone say,
"He's a handler", you see
Well handle this buster,
I'm taking a pee.
He sure was angry,
Our eyes met.
When he looked down and saw,
His pant cuffs were wet.
By the time I was finished,
He just shook his head.
"Ok, you've won",
Was all he said.
EULOGY
Look not where I was
For I am not there
My spirit is free
I am everywhere
In the air that you breathe
In the sounds that you here
Don't cry for me Mom
My spirit is near
I'll watch for you
From the other side
I'll be the one running
New friends by my side
Smile at my memory
Remember in your heart
This isn't the end
It's a brand new start
THE JUDGE
A judge's life
Is the life for me,
Picking the winners,
One, two, three.
Flying here and flying there,
I'll fly first class everywhere.
The best of food, the finest rooms,
Wealth and fame, overhead it looms.
I'll make new friends,
By the score
They'll all come running
When I'm on the floor.
The compliments will come,
One, two, three.
I'll be so popular.
Lucky Me!
"May I get you a pop?
May I open the door?
Would you like my seat?
Would you like anything more?"
A judge's life,
Is it for me?
Withhold the ribbons
On one, two and three.
The plane has a propeller.
The pilot is blind.
I don't see first class.
I'm losing my mind.
Thank goodness we landed!
Now, where is my room?
Over there in the closet,
Right next to the broom?
I'm very hungry.
I'm getting thinner.
Here comes supper.
Yuk! It's a TV dinner!
We're at the show.
Now for wealth and fame.
The show went broke.
Hey you, what's your name?
"Get your own pop.
Get your own door.
You're the dummy.
Dumped my dog before!"
There's more to being a judge
Than at first I thought.
Perhaps I'll think it over,
Return the suit I bought.
I don't know how you do it.
I don't know how at all.
You must be damned crazy
To be a judge, at all!
LIGHT OF LIFE
As the light of life grows dim,
And I slowly slip away.
I hear my loved ones crying,
Wishing for one more day.
With my last breath of life,
I look around and see,
My toys and bones and things,
That meant so much to me.
For just one fleeting moment,
I remember back in time.
When I was just a puppy,
And all the world was mine.
Although the light of life grows dim,
And I slowly slip away,
I am surrounded by the love I've known,
Each and every day.
We'll be together one day,
And now I know just why.
Although the light of life has dimmed,
Love can never die.
LONG GONE
When I was a show dog
So many years ago
I remember all the comments
Some of them pretty low
Oh, don't breed to him
His tail is set to high
But I just kept on running
And let out a little sigh
His gait is faulty
His croup too long
His feet are splayed
There's too much wrong
His coat's too light
His attitude is poor
He's just a pet
No good, I'm sure
But I just kept on running
And finished with the best
In time I retired gracefully
To get my well earned rest
Now that I'm a spirit
I've noticed something strange
The people who insulted me
Their attitude has changed
Now they spend a fortune
To line up at the tank
To buy some of my sperm
Saved in the sperm bank
Humans are so silly
They haven't got a clue
They wait until your gone
Before they appreciate you!
To a beautiful anonymous tribute poem
