Scenes from a Hat, listed with scene. MP3s may come soon. REJECTED STATE SONGS [MP3] "Come to Florida and die, come to Florida and die..." -Colin "Whores and gamblin', whores and gamblin', that's Nevada..." -Ryan CANADA, THE UPSIDE [Colin stands on the stage] BAD THINGS TO SAY WHEN STOPPED BY THE POLICE [MP3] "It's OK, I'm from Canada!" -Wayne "Yes, sir, I'll have a rum and Coke." -Ryan "Of course it's a dead body. I'm in the diamond lane." -Greg "Where's the rest of the Village People?" -Colin REJECTED SAYINGS ON CANDY HEART VALENTINES [MP3] "I've always faked it." -Colin CONVERSATION TOPICS THAT WILL DERAIL AT DINNER PARTIES [MP3] "The first time you taste human flesh, it's a little sickening." -Colin HILBILLY DATING SERVICE VIDEOS [MP3] "I'd like to meet someone outside the family." -Colin STATE MOTTOS REJECTED FOR LICENSE PLATES [MP3] "Mississippi: We do too have all our teeth!" -Greg "Utah: 30,000 wives can't be wrong!" -Ryan "Miami: The Land that Time Remembered." -Colin [Drew: Miami's a city.] "Florida: Not to be confused with Miami." -Colin "Montana: How fast can you drive?" -Ryan "Texas: Capital Punishment ROCKS!" -Greg WHAT GOD CREATED ON AN OFF-DAY [MP3] "And I shall call it the other white meat." -Ryan BAD SONGS TO SING IN PRISON [MP3] "So who's the slightly effeminate one? That's me, that's me." -Wayne "Who dropped the soap? Who dropped the soap?" -Brad "Jim's escapin' through the hole in the wall..." -Ryan "With the wig, you remind me of Julia." -Colin REJECTED THEME SONGS FROM THE MOVIE TITANIC [MP3] "I love the taste of salt water filling my lungs..." -Brad "Corp-ses bob-bing in the sea, ha-ha-ha-hee-hee..." -Colin CAROL CHANNING IN FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD MOVIE ROLES [MP3] "I know what you're thinking. Did I fire seven shots or six? Well, to tell you the truth, with all this confusion, I've forgotten myself. So you'll have to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky?" -Ryan "Well, surely you must be the son of God!" -Robin "I'm Sparticus!" -Ryan THINGS YOU DON'T EXPECT TO HEAR WHEN YOU PUT YOUR EAR TO A SEASHELL [MP3] [as Carol Channing] "I'm Sparticus!" -Ryan "PUT ME DOWN!" -Wayne "Who's your daddy?" -Robin STRANGE THINGS ON SALE AT THE PRISON GIFT SHOP [MP3] "Ah, shower mirrors." -Brad "Ah...Gary Coleman!" -Ryan THE MILLIONAIRE SHOW GANGSTER MILLIONAIRE Colin: Host Ryan: Contestant Denny: Audience Wayne: Phone "Chaucer is...A: A playwright. B: A bad way to pronounce saucer. C: A fruity drink. D: The dirty squealer who's at the bottom of the ocean with cement overshoes..." -Colin [MP3] Colin: "The capital of Paraguay is A: Mooky Llama. C: Mooky Whacka. C: Neeky Neeky. D: The capital of Paraguay is the P." Ryan: "Hey, what're you tryin' to pull on me? You had an A and TWO C'S in there!" [MP3] BEDROOM MILLIONAIRE Brad: Host Ryan: Contestant Wayne: Audience Colin: Phone "Your wife makes you dress up as one of the Teletubbies. Is it...A: Tinky-Winky. B: Richard Nixon. C: Thor, God of Thunder. D: A jar of almonds." -Brad [MP3] "This is about foreplay in your bedroom. The first thing you use is...A: A feather. B: Massage ball. C: Richard Nixon. D: A jar of almonds." -Brad [MP3] "This is a trick question. Is the answer to this question...A: B. B: C. C: A. D: D." -Brad [MP3]