Sometimes we accomplish all the things that we set out to accomplish, and sometimes we fail to do so. Sometimes we just give up without even trying at all, where at other times we keep pushing foward till we accomplish all that we have set out to accomplish. Whether or not we accomplish what we need or want to, is not the most important part. It's the way we set forth to accomplish these things, or how we handle failure. Another important part is the way we live our lives. What part of us hates, and loves, and how we distribute these emotions.

Sometimes we sail high upon our dreams, where other times we forget that we even have any at all. Alot of times there are many disappointments, and if severe enough, we just wanna throw our hands in the air and say "I GIVE UP!" There are also times where our minds will drift back into our pasts, not actively seeking it out, but drawn there through some kind of an event that has taken place. Or maybe because our hearts and minds are in such turmoil, that it has nowhere else to go to but the past. The past where the skeletons are hidden in the closet, and secrets that are locked behind those closed doors. Those things that we don't feel free enough to discuss with others, and we try to forget. But these things should not be forgotten, for they are lessons in life, no matter how much they have hurt us, or held us back from achieving hopes and dreams, they are still lessons.

If you were to look deep inside your soul, your heart, and your spirit, what do you see? You cannot really answer that unless you are focused only on today. For all of us at one point and time in our lives have looked inside ourselves, and saw only darkness, fear, and worthlessness. So do we try our best to change things? Yes we should! Yet still, at times we find ourselves sulking in self pity, because of events that have taken place in our lives. If we are in a low place, full of fear, and worthlessness, we need to decide when we pull ourselves out of it. It is not always easy, because sometimes we just feel better when we feel bad. How much must our hearts, minds and souls endure, before we realize that we have had enough?

Death

I am not scared of death, I am only saddened of the thought of not having my children and husband with me when I cross over. I get sad also when I think about how they will feel when I am no longer here. I know that God will take care of my family. Yet when we lose our own family and friends, we feel like we can't go on.

We only shed tears of sadness when family and friends die, because we know we will miss them, that our hearts will ache for a long time at our loss. We know they are no longer in pain, they once again become whole, yet we can't seperate that from our own selfishness of wanting to keep them here.

During the time of my mom being in the hospital, and then shortly after that, passing on, new doors were opened up to me in my spirituality. I felt presences, and love and warmth, and new insight. Alot of questions were answered. That was my closest walk with God. And I have been walking that same path ever since. If you can be open enough, your spirituality will come through as well. My spirituality is my peaceful place, and I use it for that. I don't go out and push any kind of religion on anyone. But I may make mention of how thankful I am that I have been so blessed in my life. You know, those things you have in your life that we so many time take for granted. How about a rose? Do you just walk on by it? Or do you actually stop to smell it,and take note of it's beauty?

Religion

I'm not a religious person, but I do walk with God. I don't claim any denomination, why should I? Is that gonna matter in the end? However, I am very spiritual, and my spirituality has grown so much over the course of time. And I believe in the power of prayer as well. Alot of people forget the spiritual side of things, and would rather debate on how much of the bible is true. Yes I do read the bible, and I won't argue points from within the bible with anyone. I believe the bible is a guide, a building block. I'm not saying the bible is true or false. But I strongly believe that it is a stepping stone over the course of our lives. And in my life there is no room for denying that there is a higher being. I realize there are people out there that doubt it, and some that just flat out deny it. Ok, so where did you come from? A plant? And where did that plant come from?

The problem with religion today is that so many of them spend more time judging the other religion, and debating on whose religion is right. Instead of being out there and actually doing some good. Why place yourself in that predicament? I know what I believe, and no I am not saying that what I believe is the right belief. But I do believe in God, and angels, and spiritual beings. I also believe that evangelists, or preachers should just spread the word without trying to get you to buy something, or donate. Now if you want to go by what the bible says, it says the God will provide, you just have to be sincere, and believe, and have faith. So why preach to people and then say "Can you donate to the church?" I don't really think that was the way God intended it to be, but that is just my belief. Now I am not saying all religion is wrong, far from that, I just believe that our personal life with God is just that, personal.

I have even had people ask me what I think about Wiccans. So what about it? At least they are spiritual, and they have geniune beliefs. Who are we to deny it. I respect them for having those beliefs, for relishing in that rose, that some of us would have just passed by. Or how about the indians? You can't get much more spiritual than that. I have great respect for their beliefs, and for there courage to stand up for those beliefs.

You must remember, we all have been through difficult times, not just you. How we react to those events, is what's important, not how severe they were. We can either stay in a situation where it gets worse, or we can do something about it to get ourselves out, and try to change things to make our lives better. I don't believe in sulking in self pity, yeah times can get really bad, but why sit there and say woe is me? Do something to change your life, don't tell someone how rotten your life is and then expect them to snap their fingers to get you out of it. You have choices to make in your life, God had granted us that. And I believe we all have a purpose in life, it just may take sometime to figure out what it is.

I must say right now, that I believe I have discovered what my purpose is in life. And since then, my spirituality has soared. No more sulking, no more fear, and no more feeling worthless. I have been granted a new lease on life, and I took it. You do have a purpose in your life, don't give up trying to find out what it is. It doesn't take some drastic event to happen in your life, for you to find your purpose. Sometimes it comes to that, but sometimes you can prevent that event from happening, if you do discover your purpose in life. I believe that our purpose is something spiritual. I know there are probably some real maniacs out in the world that believe killing people off is their purpose in life. That is not a purpose, that is a sickness. Just believe in yourself, you have all the faith you need, you just need to learn how to use it.

I hope that this insight into life has helped someone. Just know that it is not hopeless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to search for it. Believe in yourself, believe in others, and believe in God. Keep your faith strong, and don't be afraid to make use of that faith.